Chapter 3
A Round of Disappointing Discussions
“Once the perpetrators were pulled into the loop, I opened one of the cages and instructed the people inside to release the rest of the prisoners. I had wanted to save the women who were being controlled, but there wasn’t any way to break through to their cores. As the prisoners were working to free themselves, I dispatched the puppets and looked for my assassins.”
Rosaline concluded the series of events and looked at the older women seated around her. She stood in the middle of a half circle, and the priestesses sat in silence until her report ended.
“So, you… put them in a time loop? By yourself?”
Rosaline nodded her head, “I am afraid that the shock of the torment that the women suffered took me by surprise. Not having properly understood what was happening, I’m afraid that emotions slipped in, and my magic was proportionate to the anger I felt.”
The priestesses looked at each other before the eldest spoke, “That is some very strong magic. It is concerning if your emotions were so strong.”
“I know and accept that. When people told me about what the Unwashed were doing, it seemed wrong, but I think that the reality was too… distant. Seeing the pain, fear, and results of the torture that the Unwashed had wrought, seeing the women who were turned into puppets, I wasn’t prepared. That made it easy for my emotions to come out. I have learned not to underestimate the truth just because it is so distant.”
A couple of the women stood up and walked over toward her and led her to a chair. The eldest priestess spoke again, “We understand. It is beyond anyone’s comprehension. But you have got to learn to keep those emotions away before you become a high priestess. You know that strong emotions could do serious damage. I suppose it was our fault for letting you go out when you are so inexperienced. After the way you handled the last couple of missions, we thought that it would help you to understand your abilities better. It had not occurred to us that you might have an emotional reaction. I guess we thought that you were further along learning to control your emotions. We will accept the failure, but please spend the next few months learning how to cope with your emotions better.”
Rosaline looked around at the priestesses and kept her expression blank. “Thank you,” was the only response she could think of to fit the situation.
Several of the women gave mild smiles at each other and nodded. It was clear that they thought they had solved the problem.
Rosaline stood up, “But I still must tell the high priestesses about this. They need to know that the timeline will need to change.”
The priestesses responded by looking at each other. The eldest one smiled and stood up, “You have grown up so much. We hardly need to guide you now. It is just as expected, you are going to make a wonderful, strong high priestess.”
Rosaline bowed her head to them, unable to tell them that their words were no comfort to her. “I wish you a good day, ladies.” Blocking their conversation as she left the room, Rosaline knew that she needed to understand what was happening. The problem was that none of the people that she knew could really help her. Talking to one of the high priestesses might help, but she very much doubted it. Pushing her hair back for what felt like the hundredth time since her return, Rosaline headed toward the cloistered area.
“Was that a sigh?”
Rosaline stopped and looked around, knowing full well that she wasn’t going to see anyone. “Darius? What are you doing?”
“I am talking to you.”
A small smile flitted across her face, “Yes, I suppose that is true.”
“Are you alright, Rosaline?”
For a fraction of a second, Rosaline was about to say something, but found that she wasn’t quite able to talk about her thoughts. The familiar smile spread across her face, “I think I am just a little tired. I’m not exactly accustomed to the kind of work that we did out there, and I have not slept well since it happened.”
Her words were met with silence, and for a moment she thought perhaps Darius had left. “Are you sure that it isn’t something more serious?”
Rosaline forced a laugh, “Of course. It was like a crash course in understanding the world at large, something that I will need later.”
“Yeees,” his tone was definitely not what she was accustomed to hearing. “I suppose that is true, but…” The conversation seemed to stop as he thought about what he wanted to say. “You seem to be changing. Over the last year, your… actions have been less predictable.”
“Thank you, Darius. I appreciate your concern. It is very kind, and unexpected.” She smiled.
“Unexpected?” The word seemed to take him by surprise. “You think that I don’t care?”
Rosaline laughed, “No, I think that you have your emotions so under control that it is impossible to detect them. I’ve never known you to express anything other than certainty. It’s kind of,” she giggled, “cute.”
“I am glad that I can entertain you.”
“Darius!” A voice hollered from down the hall. “Darius! I know you are around here, skulking in the shadows.”
Rosaline turned and saw Itzel stalking down the hall. She beamed at the small druid. “Hi, Itzel. He’s skulking just over there,” she stuck her thumb out toward the shadow.
Itzel stopped just a few steps from her and turned her eyes to the shadows, “Ah, should have known.” She pointed toward something that Rosaline couldn’t see, “It’s impossible to miss those shiny pink eyes and shockingly white hair.”
Rosaline tilted her head to the side and looked toward the shadow again. She saw nothing even remotely like what Itzel had described. Laughing, she patted Itzel on the shoulder and walked toward the cloistered area, “You always know how to make people laugh, Itzel.” Though Itzel was a number of centuries older, Rosaline was more than a foot taller than her; then again, she was a lot taller than most of the druids.
“Oh, right. Rosaline,” Itzel had taken a few steps toward the shadows, but was looking at the druid, “when you have some time, I would like to talk with you about something.”
Rosaline shrugged, “Sure. I just need to talk with one of the high priestesses first, then I’m all yours.”
Itzel laughed, “There’s no rush. I don't have anything going on for, well, the foreseeable future. Just come around to my area when you are done. Darius will be done with me by then.”
Rosaline laughed a little as Itzel animatedly chatted with the shadows. She came across as a little airheaded, but when it came down to it, she was as shrewd and calculating as an assassin. Rosaline turned and kept walking. Itzel was one of the few druids who treated her just like everyone else, but it went beyond just the way she treated Rosaline. Several times, Rosaline had been surprised at just how lively Darius’s voice was when talking with her. Apart from the assassins, Itzel was the only other person who could get him to express anything like emotions.
Except for just now. He seemed a little emotional with you, didn’t he? She began picking at her lip as she reached the cloistered area. The taste of blood let her know that she had been too unaware of what she was doing. Taking a deep breath, Rosaline prepared for the discussion she was about to have, knowing full well how it would go. As her hand reached for the door, Rosaline realized that she didn’t feel anything about being reprimanded for her emotions. That’s a first. Perhaps I am getting more accustomed to it.
She entered the area and asked to speak with one of the high priestesses. The discussion took more than an hour, and she was told to go reflect on her actions, but the high priestess told her that her ability to recognize that she had been emotional was a good start. It would make it easier to counter the emotions later. Rosaline felt that there was something wrong with the end results, but they were exactly as she had expected them be.
As she neared her chambers, she sighed. After years of living a predictable life, the last year had been different. Rosaline had noticed that her thoughts had started to change some years ago, but each time she left Marlyon she had come back less certain of her path. And today three people had seemed to notice.
Closing her door, Rosaline leaned against it and placed a fist against her mouth, trying to silence her thoughts. She gently bit her finger, trying to work out why exactly she was having so many problems. The only time when she felt at peace lately was when… she frowned and looked at the wall. “That can’t be right.”
Moving her hair out of her face, Rosaline felt frustrated. “No, this is simply too short.” Focusing on her hair, she coaxed the hair to grow several inches so that it was easier to pull out of her way. She grabbed a few clips and set the hair out of her face so that it was difficult to tell that she had used magic on it. That was definitely an inappropriate use of her abilities, but Rosaline told herself that it was necessary because her hair was causing her to feel more. It was unlikely anyone would have detected the magic, and she felt certain that no one would notice the change in length.
“Oh, right. Itzel.” Rosaline turned and hurried across the large complex looking for Itzel’s quarters.
“Ah, there you are, Rosaline. I was beginning to fear you might have forgotten about me.” Itzel smiled and opened the door to her quarters. They were larger and much more comfortable-looking than Rosaline’s. “Come on in. Would you like something to drink?”
“If you will excuse me, I don’t think I should be here for this.” Darius’s voice startled Rosaline as she neared a table. The door closed before she had time to apologize to him.
Itzel waved a hand, “Don’t worry about him. He’s just grumpy after talking to me for so long. I’m too headstrong, he says.”
Rosaline laughed, “I would say that he has a right to be grumpy considering how long he has been cooped up here, but he doesn't seem to mind that at all.”
“You might be surprised,” Itzel muttered under her breath.
“What?” Rosaline sat down and looked at the little druid.
“I think that he would like to get out more, but is too wary to leave. Unlike me. I would love to get away more often if it were possible.”
“Is that why you keep turning down positions?” Rosaline placed her chin in her hand.
“Partly yes. That I’m no good at politics and am not devoted like you.” Itzel placed a cup down in front of her. “I fit more in the margins and would prefer not to give that up if possible.”
Rosaline’s head turned until she saw the door, then she looked back at Itzel. “What did you discuss?” It never occurred to her that the question was rude.
Itzel smiled at her mischievously, “Oh, don’t you worry your religious little head about that.”
Rosaline sat up straight, “What do you mean?”
“Would you like anything with your tea?” Itzel moved into a little kitchen area, completely ignoring the question.
Feeling that she should probably know what the druid meant, Rosaline decided to focus on whatever it was that had required Itzel to invite her there. “No, thank you. Why did you need to see me?”
“Ah, straight to the point. Should have known.” Itzel moved back to the table and sat down. “You were just out and I know that things were a little… challenging.” She smiled, and Rosaline narrowed her eyes. Still, Itzel continued, “Things are going wrong far too often, and I know that it is more than just because of the Unwashed.”
“What do you mean?” Rosaline leaned over the table.
Itzel began to rapidly flick her finger into her temple, “I mean, they are more of a symptom of something that is wrong. Kind of like… you know how sometimes you start to question your own actions and thoughts? Sometimes, it is a sign that you really, really didn’t think something through. However, it could also be that deep down you realize that there is something that you aren’t addressing that is the real problem. Your actions are an extension of something else…” Itzel’s startling pinkish-blue eyes met Rosaline’s. “Ah, wait, that is a very bad example when talking to someone like you. I bet you don’t even know what doubt is. Um.” She began to flick her temple again.
Rosaline stared at her for a moment and wondered if perhaps Itzel had heard her discussion with Ignacio. Is she trying to help me, too? Is there something that wrong with me?
Finally, Itzel snapped her fingers, “Okay, you know how sometimes during the long winters everyone here gets incredibly cranky and arguments are more frequent?”
Rosaline nodded.
“Those are symptoms. Even the fights that break out. None of that is the problem. The problem is that we don’t do so well trapped up together, no matter how much space we have. Then spring comes and everyone gets to go outside, and some lucky people get to escape for a while. I mean, I know you must see leaving here as a bit of a nuisance, but even you must feel a little relieved for a day or two. A new environment helps. And that is exactly what I mean. The Unwashed are… a sign of something more seriously wrong. They are just humans, but they managed to gain far more power than any human should be able to attain.”
Rosaline frowned and nodded her head slowly, “I think I see what you are saying. But what does it mean?”
Itzel stood up, “I don’t know! That’s a large part of the problem. I was trying to discuss it with Mr. Moody, but he kept telling me to be careful, that I shouldn’t do anything reckless, blah, blah, blah. But it’s driving me insane!”
“Being trapped here?” Rosaline wasn’t certain that she was completely following what Itzel had been trying to say.
For a moment the druid stopped moving around the dining area, “Ah, that, too. Well, that is my problem. But not what I am talking about. There is something much deeper than just the Unwashed. I mean, we know that the high priestesses are far too advanced in years. And you are still a long way from being ready to join them. Is that part of what is affecting everything? I think we have overlooked something critical, but maybe it isn’t even something we did!”
Rosaline stood up and walked over to Itzel, “I think you need to calm down first. You are entirely worked up, and it is going to do you far more harm than good.”
Itzel sighed, “You are right, but no one will listen to me. Not that there are many people that I can talk to about it. Hardly anyone listens to me.”
Rosaline frowned, “I don’t think that is true. You are very well respected.”
“It is the people that we respect most that we listen to the least. Every damn time.” Itzel slammed a hand on the table. “I guess my point is that there is something wrong, and no one is seeing it. Yes, the assassins and champions are doing a lot, but I guarantee you that it isn’t anything about them that is causing this. They are just the ones to suffer first.”
“Maybe that is part of the problem.”
Itzel stopped fidgeting and looked at her, “What is part of the problem?”
“It is mostly the shifters who are doing the work. Magic users have become too reliant on them, and we don’t do nearly enough ourselves.”
Itzel’s eyes widened, “Oh, ye gods, I think that is right. Not the entire problem, but I believe that could be a large part of it.” She placed her hand on her mouth for a moment. “I don’t know if there are enough seers left, but I think that we need to bring the ones who are left here. We are going to have to work with them to figure this out.”
“What about the mystics?” Rosaline’s question was asked in innocence and without any agenda, but it certainly got a reaction.
“Are you kidding me? The day those hard-headed, ocean-bouncing, self-important girls admit they need help, their island will be under water.”
“And there you have more of your answer.” Rosaline looked at her with wide, innocent eyes.
“What?” Itzel placed her palms on the table and leaned in. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I think what you are suggesting is an imbalance in the way things should be. The shifters are working together, but we are not. You want to pick and choose our allies, but nature has already defined who they should be. We have become so caught up in tradition, feuds, and pettiness that we can’t see what is right in front of us anymore. If you are sincere in your feelings, I think that we will need more than just the seers. Especially since most of them are dead.” Rosaline threw that last bit in there to force Itzel to reflect on the resolution instead of her bias against the mystics.
Itzel sat back and looked at her for several silent minutes. “Alright. I think that may be true, too. Not what I wanted to hear, but that’s probably why I wanted to talk to you about it. You are much more open-minded about these things than the old ladies who insist they know what is best for everyone. Or other druids, for that matter. But the way things have been aren’t necessarily right, and they don’t always know what is best. I think that is why we are in the position we are in. We’ve all gone too far in the wrong direction.” She leaned forward, “But how are we going to get the mystics to engage in a conversation with us?”
“That I could not say. I know that we have helped them, and the trade agreement is a good sign, but it won’t be enough. In the end, I think they will have to realize they need us, and that is likely to come much sooner than you might think.”
“Why is that?”
Rosaline shrugged, “Because they have a corrupted seer in their midst. That isn’t going to be allowed to carry on much longer.”
Itzel sighed, “Hopefully they will realize they need to work with us before that gets worse.” She stood up, “I am so glad I talked to you about it. No one else will take it seriously. They keep saying things like ‘we are working with the seers’ and ‘we know what the real problem is,’ but nothing is getting better. It was driving me nuts. Mind you,” she turned and looked at Rosaline as the taller druid stood up, “I don’t like what you said, but I realize that just proves your point.”
Rosaline smiled at her, “I’m very glad I could help. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so agitated. Everyone seems to be feeling on edge, and it isn’t even winter.” Her smile widened.
For the first time since Rosaline had entered the room, an honest smile spread across Itzel’s face, “Yeah, that will be a whole different problem.” She walked her guest to the door. “Thank you very much for stopping by. Your level-headed, thoughtful approach was exactly what I needed to put my own thoughts in order. It’s a shame that you will end up a high priestess.”
“What?” Rosaline turned to look at Itzel.
“I think that your talents would be better used elsewhere, especially since I don’t know if adding you alone is going to fix the problem. Sometimes I think it would be best for that tradition to just die off and we come up with a new way to move forward. Something that is less biased and based on tradition.”
Rosaline looked at Itzel, her mind now in turmoil. Without knowing it, Itzel had just expressed doubts about her path.
Seeing the reaction, Itzel began to dismiss her own words, “Don’t listen to me. You know that I have never been fond of the high priestesses, and I know you feel it is the right path for yourself. If it is you, I think that things will be fine.”
Rosaline simply nodded her head and left Itzel’s quarters. Moving down the hallway, the doubts began to grow louder. Her pace quickened as she headed to her own quarters.
By the time she reached her small room, Rosaline’s mind was all over the place. Pulling at her lips, she paced the room, trying to get her emotions under control. The timing was wrong. Why did she have to say that? Why now? Rosaline tasted the blood, but could not stop herself. Biting her lip, she tried to think of something, anything to calm her thoughts.
Over the last year, Rosaline had realized that her life wasn’t quite what she had wanted, that there were things that she couldn’t say were right with certainty. Perhaps that was all part of the test as she worked toward the new position, but it felt more like torture.