Skila

People are rushing around everywhere.

I don’t know what happened.

One minute, Camryn was fine and things were going smoothly, and then he snaps. Blood covers the floor, puddling around my feet. I think he split his head open. I’m not sure. One of the orderlies lifts Cam to his feet and another offers support. He is dazed and disoriented, but his gaze latches onto me.

“Sky?” he asks, glancing around the room.

It's almost like he doesn't recall anything that happened in the last few minutes—hell, maybe even the last day or longer, it's hard to tell. Kiptyn is talking to the receptionist at the counter. His hands are flying through the air while he speaks, and I can tell from here that he’s getting angrier by the second, but I don't know why. My stomach rolls again, and I retch. Nothing comes up. I’ve already lost the contents of my stomach. I have nothing left to give.

“Sky?” Cam asks again. His voice is gaining an edge of hysteria to it that worries me. I don't want him to freak out again, but I don't know how to keep it from happening either.

“Yeah, Cam?” I ask, taking short, shallow breaths. I ignore the blood on the soles of my shoes. Someone is working at cleaning it all up right now, but each step I take closer to Cam leaves bloody foot trails. These people are going to hate us before we even get him checked in.

“What’s going on, Sky? Where are we?”

“Do you not remember anything, Cam? We’re at the mental hospital. You need help, Cam.”

His eyes dart around the room as he takes a step back from me. Hurt and betrayal cross his eyes before he shuts down in front of me again. I watch as the shutters come down, closing off all emotion. Kip walks up behind me at that moment and places his hand on the small of my back.

“We have a problem,” he says.

“What?”

Good Lord, I can't handle any more problems tonight. I need to go home and relax. I'm not even supposed to be out of the bed right now. Bed rest does not include chasing my boyfriends’ brothers across the house or calling the police or driving to the mental hospital. This is too much.

“Apparently, I can't sign him in here. I need two signatures to admit him. We both have to be related to him, and unless he decides to stay on his own, we have to take him back with us.”

“No. No. No. He needs this, Kip.”

“I know, Sky.”

“I’ll stay,” Camryn says, surprising us both.

I forgot he was standing there, so when he spoke up, I jumped into the air and almost slipped and fell on my ass thanks to the water and blood on the floor. Kip just stares at his brother, unsure of what to say. Neither of us expected him to be willing to stay after the way he reacted when we brought him in the front door.

“Great. That's really good, Cam. I’m proud of you.” I say, because I feel like someone needs to say something.

“I need to talk to Skila alone for a minute before I sign in,” Cam says, looking at Kip for permission. Kip glances at me, asking me if it's okay. I shrug my shoulder, and then Kip nods to his brother and walks away, leaving me alone.

“I'll stay on one condition, Skila. I want you to promise me that you will sign the termination papers and that you will file them tomorrow morning.”

The air in my lungs evaporates. I never expected this, not in a million years. I still don't understand why he is so adamant about not being a part of his own child's life. It breaks my heart to even think about it.

“Why, Camryn? Why do you not want to be a part of his life? I don't get it.”

“I do, Sky. I'll always be a part of his life, but not as his father. I can’t be that man right now. If you look at this with your mind and not your mother's heart, you’ll see that I'm not what is best for him. I can't even take care of myself right now. I need you to do this for me. I need to know that he’s taken care of so that I can focus on me. Please, Skila.”

Silent tears are streaming down my face when he finishes. I never thought about how he felt and what he needed. I was only concerned with why he didn't want my baby. I understand now.

“Okay, I'll do it, but you promise me that you’ll be there for him when you get better,” I say, choking back a sob.

“I promise, Sky. Thank you so much for this, for everything. He’s such a lucky little boy to have you as his momma.”

As he pulls me in for a hug, I let go of all the anger and hurt I’ve felt for Cam. A weight is lifted off me, and for the first time in over seven months, I can breathe again. I have hope for a future that I didn't have before. Camryn releases me and walks me back to Kip, who is standing next to the burly looking nurse.

“Take care of her, brother. She’s one in a million,” he says, pulling Kip in for a tight, brotherly hug.

“I will, bro, always. You go get better and come back home.”

“That's the plan, man.”

Camryn finishes his paperwork, and the nurse leads him through the double doors. I wave bye one last time and then take Kip’s hand and walk back out of the hospital. I'm beyond ready to get home, take a shower, and then crawl into bed. This day has been hell. Pure flipping hell, but that's okay. It was also great. Kiptyn found out his brother was alive. That thought alone makes my heart sing. Even though Camryn came back a different person than he was when he left, he’s alive and he’s getting the help he needs to become the person he needs to be once again. I meant what I said earlier. I'm proud of him.

It’s going to take a lot of getting used to, having him back around. I had just gotten used to the idea of his being gone, and now he’s back. I still can’t believe it. So far, the only thing we’ve learned is that Cam wasn’t on the Humvee, but it still doesn’t make sense. Why did they tell us he was dead if they didn’t have proof? Do those bombs destroy everything so badly that they just assume everything and everyone is gone? And where was he for the last few months? One thing is for certain: for every question we’ve answered, another ten have replaced it. I don’t know if we’ll ever have all the answers we need or want, but we have Cam, and that’s what really matters. A lot of families don’t get their soldiers back.

“Let's go home, baby.” Yes, let's go home.