“Look, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need a babysitter, Rocco.” I fold my arms over my chest and tap my foot against the hardwood floor in Nico’s new apartment. “You don’t have to wait here. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Jesus, I just need some time to process everything that happened tonight. And I don’t need an audience for that!

Besides, I probably have better aim than Rocco can ever hope to have. But that’s not something I need to share right now. I need Nico. I have to see if he’s okay. I want to know that he’s okay.

“I promised Nico. I can’t go, Shaye.” Rocco lounges in a plush, burgundy leather chair, stretching his long legs in front of him. “You know that.”

I let out a deep sigh. “You’re locked down like fucking Rikers Island. Why can’t you at least tell me anything? If I have to put up with you sitting here, at least talk to me!”

“Shaye, cut it out. If I could, you know I would. Just wait for Nico, okay? He’ll explain everything.”

I stomp my foot. “Goddammit! You’re impossible!”

He smirks at me. “That’s one I’ve never heard from a smokin’ hot chick.”

“Argh!” I slap my hands on my legs. “You’re such an ass. I’m getting some hot chocolate. And you can suck it because I’m not making any for you!”

I pad into the kitchen. The ceilings are high, the cabinets black and glass. Very modern. The granite countertops are shades of gray, a compliment to the rest of the sleek décor. Such a grown-up looking kitchen, I muse as I sift through the pantry for any sign that he knew I was coming here.

He’s only had the apartment for about a month. I’d originally thought it was just another place for him to hide out. But after I’d enrolled at NYU, he told me he got it just in case I needed a place to crash after a late class instead of going all the way back to New Jersey. I think he was hoping we’d eventually move in together. Not now, obviously since I’m still in school, but maybe at some point.

At some point. I’m hoping a lot of things happen “at some point,” like Nico and I getting back to the place we were last year when we first got together. I’d actually hope to see that at some point in the not-too-distant future.

I pull a box from the second shelf and tear open the top, salivating at the chocolatey goodness soon to be gracing my taste buds. Marshmallow Lovers. God, I love that man. I open two envelopes and dump them into a mug from one of the cabinets. Okay, now the big question…is there milk in the fridge? Because drinking hot chocolate made from water is just criminal.

I pull open the refrigerator. Jackpot. And it’s full fat to boot.

“Any beer in there?”

I slam the door shut, startled by Rocco’s voice. “Even if there was, I wouldn’t give it to you because you don’t deserve it.”

Rocco hops onto one of the counter stools. “Don’t give me that shit. You know what he’d do if he found out I told you anything. Besides, I’m sure he knows more than he let on to me. Just wait for him to get back. Let him give it to you straight.”

I cock an eyebrow, pause for a second, and open the refrigerator door to grab a Blue Moon. I hand it to Rocco. “Fine. Here.”

He pops the top off using his keychain and takes a long swig. “Fucking guy was beaten to shit. Never seen anything like it. Even from Max.”

I roll my eyes at his crack about my brother. “No weapon?”

Rocco shakes his head and takes another gulp.

“And this guy…” Here’s where I play a little bit dumb because they don’t need to know the truth...that I have my own source, who just so happens to be a Russian mafia princess named Katarina Ivanov. Viktor’s daughter and second in command has become my own personal shooting coach as well as a reliable informant. But Rocco doesn’t need to know that part. “…he’s MMA, right? Kicked out for drug use?”

Rocco rubs the back of his neck. I can see the internal debate. Should he confirm? Should he deny? Should he ignore my question altogether?

I already know the answer. I also know why he’s back.

This is why you don’t screw with a woman. Because they have ways of finding out things that you thought were buried deep…very creative ways. And now that I know, I can use the information.

“This life is pure poison sometimes, isn’t it?” I join him at the counter and climb onto the stool next to him.

“Says the girl who has a pretty damn charmed existence.” Rocco scrubs a hand down the front of his face. “Cars, money, clothes, vacations…everything you want but nothing you have to sacrifice for.”

“Is that what you think?” I tap my fingernails against the granite. “That I just live in my perfect little bubble waiting for luxury to be handed to me?”

Rocco swivels around and stares at me. “Look, Shaye. I know you’re not like most of the women in these families. You’ve got your shit together. You’re trying to make something for your future. I respect that. But you don’t know what kind of fucked-up crap goes on behind closed doors to keep you in that Mercedes Benz of a bubble.” He leans closer. “I know you think you do, now that you’ve seen some of the shit that goes down with the other families, but you don’t. And there’s good reason for that. Nobody wants to see you get caught in the crossfire. It’s why Nico is a fucking disaster. It’s why Max is about to go off the deep end. And it’s why your father…” He stops and looks away.

“What about my father?” I slap him on the arm. “You can’t just start that sentence and stop talking, Rocco.”

He narrows his eyes. “It’s why your father tried to make that deal with Cappodamo in the first place. Yeah, he wanted to be on top again, but it was mainly to protect you and your mother. He was promised a shit ton of cash if it went through. And now?” He shakes his head. “Now we’re all on the fucking chopping block, and everyone is on edge.” After another long gulp of the Blue Moon, he leans back against the stool. “Except Carlo. He’s not on edge anymore.”

“So you’re saying we’re all screwed? Or is that just me?”

“I’m saying that there are a lot of people who want to pop your bubble. Can you blame Nico for wanting to keep you safe?”

“No.” I wrap a lock of hair around my pinkie and blow on my hot chocolate before taking a sip. I recoil when the hot liquid hits my lips, immediately scalding them. I place the mug back on the counter, considering my next words. He’s right. Nico is a fucking hot mess these days. It gets worse every day, and now with Carlo being beaten to death…I need to get through to him. I can help if he lets me in. But the poison just keeps seeping in deeper and deeper as each day passes. Pretty soon, what we have will be completely toxic. I know it’s because he’s torn. He wants to keep me safe, he needs to run the business, he has to take care of the family…all of this was just thrust upon him.

Nico needs to take action. Swift action. If he doesn’t, Luca Cappodamo will smell the weakness and blast him into another dimension. Because he is that dangerous and he has a fucking lot to lose now.

Poor Carlo was bait. Luca used the guy to call out Nico. But is Nico going to respond? Is he going to get into the ring with that lunatic and stake what’s his?

That’s what he needs to do. For the family, for himself, and for us.

It’s the only way to move forward.

The front door creaks open. I hop off the stool and run into the foyer to meet Nico as he pushes the door shut and flips the multiple locks to keep us safely tucked inside his penthouse apartment. He turns toward me, his eyes drawn and heavy, his lips stretched into a tight line.

I cross the floor and hurl myself into his arms. They wrap tight around me. He squeezes me like it’s the last time he’ll ever hug me, and while I love the comfort and the security of it all, I can feel the sorrow permeate the air between us.

“How did it go?” I whisper, but all I get is a quick head shake. He buries his face in my hair as I clutch his waist tighter, a sob rising in my throat. I’d always liked Carlo and his wife. A sharp pang in my chest reminds me that the kind of news Nico delivered tonight could have just as easily been delivered to another unsuspecting wife. It could have been delivered to my mother.

Nobody is ever really safe.

But these are the cards we have to play.

Rocco walks into the foyer to meet us, and I pull away to give Rocco a quick hug.

“Thank you,” I murmur. “Be safe.”

“Always. You good?” he says to Nico, who nods his head.

“Thanks for taking her back here.”

“Call Max. He’ll want to know she’s safe.”

“I will.”

Rocco releases the deadbolts and opens the door. “I’m staying in the city tonight. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” Nico closes the door once Rocco leaves and he collapses against the back of it, facing me, the pained expression on his face squeezing my heart like a vise.

A sad smile lifts his lips. “Kitchen light is on. I guess you found the stash, huh?”

My throat tightens. “Yeah,” I rasp, the lump in my throat making it almost impossible to speak. “Nico—"

He shakes his head and pulls me close. “No talking,” he whispers. “Just let me hold you, okay? I really need to hold you right now.”

I run my fingers through her soft hair and breathe in the scent of vanilla. I take in every bit that I can, allowing her to infuse my senses. She is part of me, always has been, and I’ll do anything I can to keep her safe.

Seeing Carlo’s wife fall to her knees when I delivered the news, weeping over her lost love…all I could think of was Shaye and how devastated I’d be if I lost her. I’m the reason Carlo is dead. Knowing that my actions might put her in the same danger scares the hell out of me.

Shaye’s heart beats in time with my own, faster with each passing second. Her hands slide up and down my back, as if to soothe me. But I’m beyond that…so far beyond it. I have Carlo’s blood on my hands now. There is no relief from knowing that my actions took a good man away from his family forever. He was one of the most loyal of my guys and always did right by the family. Loved his wife, loved his kids, and always managed to pull a half-dollar out of Lily’s ear whenever he saw her.

And now he’s gone.

Because of me.

I run my hands up the sides of Shaye’s arms, sliding them over her shoulders, my hands cupping the sides of her face. I tilt her head back, leaning into her so our foreheads touch. “I love you so fucking much,” I say, my voice thick. “Do you know that?”

She nods, tears in her eyes. “I love you too,” she whispers, rising on her tip toes to graze my lips with hers. I hug her body tight against me as I drink her in, her tongue plunging into my needy mouth. And I do need her…need this…to bury everything else, if only temporarily.

I unzip her dress and peel it off of her, letting it pool around her ankles. Her breasts are bare, the deep pink buds beckoning me to taste. I dip my head, taking each one in my mouth, swirling my tongue around each of her nipples, my cock thickening with each soft mewl that falls from her swollen lips.

I lift her body into my arms and she locks her ankles around me, raking her fingers through my hair. My pulse nearly explodes out of me when her tongue and teeth assault my neck, moving toward my ear and that sensitive spot she always remembers to visit. I tighten my grip and move slowly into the bedroom a few feet away. I don’t bother with a light; I lay her in the center of the California king bed and unbutton my shirt, dropping it on the floor. I kick off my shoes and lean down, looping my thumbs into the sides of her thong and slide it down her legs. Her knees fall open, exposing her perfect pussy to me. Her blue eyes are hooded; her gaze of longing shadowed by long lashes.

I can’t get my clothes off fast enough. Buttons pop off my shirt, my belt clatters on the floor, my pants and boxers flung to the side of the room in my haste to dive inside of her.

I climb on top of her, my legs straddling her body. “I want to feel you, Shaye.” The head of my cock teases her slick opening. “Just once.” I sink inside of her wet heat, groaning as her walls clench me tight. “Fuck, that’s incredible.” There’s a condom laying on the nightstand, but I just needed to be inside of her for a second without any barriers. Just her and me, like it was always meant to be.

I thrust once, deep inside of her, and she gasps, her nails digging into my hips. “Oh my God…”

“We can’t do this, babe,” I grunt, thrusting once more. “Let me put on a condom.”

Her pussy is so wet, I can’t help sliding into her once more, a long, deep stroke that makes her scream and lance my back. Fuck, are those nails or knives? “I know you should, but holy crap, this feels so amazing.”

I stop moving and lean on my forearms, whispering against her mouth. “I promise someday we’re gonna do this the right way. But now I have to take care of you, okay?”

She nods, and I pull out, leaning over to grab the condom. I tear open the package and roll it on and slide back inside of her. Her pussy is so tight, and my cock stretches her wide, filling her again, inch by inch, a slow tease that always drives her fucking crazy. She presses her hands into the small of my back, urging me deeper, the way I know she loves it.

I reach around her, gripping her ass and angling her so I can drive into her with everything I have. I rise to my knees, my hands holding her hips steady as my cock throbs and pulsates deep within her. She fists the comforter, turning her face into a pillow to muffle the screams.

The deep, dull ache in my balls makes me grit my teeth. “Fuck, Shaye,” I groan, my hips thrusting faster as the slow explosion rumbles deep in my groin and blasts out to every extremity, igniting every cell in its path. The flames shoot through my insides, feeding on pure carnal energy. My gut clenches as I fill her, the way I long to do without this condom. I want to give it all to her, the way she’s given herself to me.

I release her gently, guiding her back to the mattress, and I collapse next to her. She flings an arm across my chest and pushes away the pillow. “Baby, what was that?”

I furrow my brow, my breathing labored. “What are you talking about?”

She flips onto her side to face me. “You didn’t wear a condom to start. Why?”

I let out a breath. “I don’t know. It was a stupid thing to do. I just…I needed to be as close to you as possible. I didn’t want anything between us, even a piece of latex.” I stare at the ceiling. “After what happened tonight…”

Shaye rolls closer to me. “What happened, babe? Talk to me, please.”

“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” I push back my hair. “Telling Mrs. Batta that Carlo was dead. Murdered. On my watch. Her husband, the father of her children, beaten to death like a fucking dog.”

“You couldn’t have done anything to stop it.” She trails a finger down my arm. “It wasn’t your fault, Nico.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Why? Because you think you know who did it and since that person is your enemy—?”

I sit up, my head in my hand. “I don’t think it, Shaye. I know it.”

“How can you say that without having any proof? Just because it doesn’t look like a weapon was used, that doesn’t mean it was Luca.”

I nod and lean over the side of the bed, grabbing my pants. “You’re right.” The piece of paper is still tucked inside one of the pockets. I pull it out and drop it next to Shaye. “This is why I know who killed Carlo.”

Shaye holds out the note, her brows knitted. “Pictures? I don’t understand. Who was taking pictures?”

“I sent Carlo to Frank’s memorial to get pictures of Luca. I needed to have them on hand to alert the guys. He’s been gone for a long time, and I wanted to know I was looking out for the right guy. The same guy I remember.” My chest tightens. And it was the same fucking guy that I last saw years ago, right before his life fell apart.

Right before I escaped his downward spiral within an inch of my own life.

She nods. “So he went after Carlo after you put him up to the task.”

“It’s my fault he’s dead. Luca did it to send me a message. He wanted me to know he’s out there, he’s watching, and he’s coming.”

Shaye bolts up from the bed and grabs the bedsheet, yanking it up to her neck. “Then why don’t you do something about it? Why are you going to wait for him to come to you?”

I rise from the bed and yank on my boxers. “Because I’m not a fucking killer, Shaye! Don’t you think I’ve been struggling with this over the last few months? Don’t you think I’ve been planning for this? I figured he’d come after me, and I’d take care of it. I didn’t expect him to go after one of my guys to bait me. It’s almost like he wants to call me out, but he’s not using his own voice. He’s taunting me, challenging me to see what I’ll do next. It’s all a fucking sick game to him. He doesn’t value life, not the way he…” I pause before I say something I’m going to wish I hadn’t. “I’m handling it.”

“How?” she demands. “By ignoring this? You just said how devastated you were about telling Carlo’s wife. Do it for his family, Nico! Do it for your family! Just do it, because the longer you wait, the more broken we become. Don’t you see that? Don’t you feel it?”

“Broken?” I raise my gaze to hers, my mouth stretched into a straight line. “You think we’re broken?”

“I think there’s a rift between us, one I can’t seem to close and one you won’t acknowledge.” She crawls toward me, resting her hands on my shoulders. “I get little glimpses of the way you used to be before all of this happened. I know you’re trying to protect me and your family. I know you’re trying to keep everything running smoothly. But you’ve shut me out, Nico. You’re here with me, but somewhere else entirely. You won’t let me spend the night with you when we’re in Jersey, and you think I don’t know why. I know everything, babe. I know that killing Frank and dealing with the aftermath is destroying you on the inside. And that’s making us fall apart.” Tears pool in her eyes and her voice cracks. “I need you, Nico. Please don’t shut me out. Let me be here for you. Let me help you through this. I want to get back to the way we were before—"

“But I’m different now, Shaye,” I say it quietly. There is no reason to yell. There is no fight to be had. I made choices in the past that shaped my future. Now I have to deal with the consequences. But I’ll be damned if my next actions poison the lives of anyone I love.

I don’t want to make the wrong choice again.

“You’re still the man I love, the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.”

“And I want to be sure you get your wish, so you need to let me handle this my way.”

“What happens if he comes after someone else? What happens if you ignore his message? Who will be his next victim, Nico? And will you be able to live with that outcome, knowing you could have done something to stop him?” She swipes at a tear streaming down her face. “Will it have been worth it?”