I tried. Once, twice, three times to steady my hand in order to start Devon's tattoo. On the last try, I huff out a frustrated breath and tap the foot pedal to shut off my machine. I lay it down on the table.
Devon takes my hand in his. "What's wrong?"
"I can't do it." I shake my head and lift my eyes to his. "My hand is shaking. It needs to be steady."
He smirks, knowing the effect he has on me. He leans up in the chair, reaches toward me, and runs his fingers through my hair. He pulls me close, our mouths almost touching. His eyes search mine as his tongue peeks out, running across his bottom lip. It's sexy, seductive, and makes my core tingle with a yearning desire I haven't felt in so long. He slowly moves closer and closer and closer, until his lips descend on mine. My eyes close and I savor the feeling of his tongue gliding alongside mine. I want this kiss. I reach up, laying my palm against his cheek. That same familiar yet new feeling takes hold, and I embrace it as I deepen the kiss, showing him how much I want it.
He pulls back too soon, laying his forehead against mine. I keep my eyes closed. "I'll love you forever, Daph."
Tears pool behind my closed lids. My lips lift. "Was this supposed to help me?"
Devon chuckles. "I don't know, but it sure as hell felt good. Especially since I didn't get slapped this time."
I pull back the rest of the way, my eyes connect with his. His smile matches mine. "Let's try again."
"What the kiss or the tattoo?" He jokes.
I give him a playful smack on his chest. "The tattoo. Maybe we can try another kiss later."
He sits back in the chair getting comfortable. I hit the foot pedal again. Dipping the needle in the black ink, I focus on the tattoo instead of the sea blue eyes that are watching my every move. His eyes still have the ability to make me get lost in their depths. I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and begin his outline.
* * *
I lay the machine down on the table, grab a folded paper towel, and spray solution on it, then wipe the fresh tattoo clean. The logo looks identical to the one on the compound wall outside, before you walk into the clubhouse. The devil's head is uncanny and well-known. The revolvers look realistic with the shading and silver I put in, and look like they are coming off his skin. He’s now marked for life with Satan's Sinners inked into his flesh.
"Go take a look," I tell him as I start to clean my work area and get new, clean supplies for his friend.
He stands from the chair. "That wasn't so bad for my first." He walks to the mirror and moves his arm around, looking at his new tattoo.
"That was your first?" I’m surprised because the other guys are covered in ink.
"Yeah." He chuckles. "Guess you've had all my firsts." His intense gaze finds mine in the mirror, and my cheeks begin to heat. I don't know how to respond, so I stay quiet.
He turns away from the mirror, facing me. "It looks amazing, Daph."
I look down, my hands fidgeting. "Thank you."
Devon sits on the edge of the chair, so I can put the bandage on. He places his thumb under my chin and lifts my eyes to his. "Can I ask you a question?"
I give a slight nod, but it's enough for him.
"Why do you wear all this makeup and the gothic style clothes?" His eyes search mine.
I shrug my shoulder. "Because this is who I am."
He shakes his head. "It's not."
Wanting to deflect from this conversation, I tell him, "Go and get your friend."
He nods once, stands, and strolls out of the room. Both men return a few minutes later.
The friend whistles. "Gotta say, Daphne, you look better every time I see you."
I laugh. "You saw me two hours ago."
Devon growls. "Mullins." He says the name like a warning. Mullins! That's his name!
"Mullins, take a seat. Devon, you can wait out front." Mullins sits happily with a smirk playing on his lips. He looks a little older than me and Devon, but he is handsome. I'd guess him to be in his middle thirties, short blond hair, and muscles.
Devon doesn't budge from the room. "Devon, you heard the lady, you can go wait out front." Mullins waves his hand, shooing Devon out. I hide my smile and look over my shoulder at Devon with his narrowed eyes, arms crossed over his chest, and face turning red.
"Maybe I'll go pay Christy, your wife, a visit." I pull my lips into my mouth to try and hold back my laughter. My eyes dart to Mullins. His smirk has disappeared.
"Fuck you, man," Mullins throws back.
Devon chuckles. "Back off mine, and I'll leave yours alone."
I interrupt their playful banter, "Whoa, whoa boys. We aren't some kind of property. We aren't toys to be passed around. Stop acting like dogs in a pissing match to mark your territory. Show some respect."
Mullins fake gasps. "I would never treat a woman like I didn’t have any respect for her." He points to Devon. "That asshole's the one that said it." He playfully pouts. "Why you always gettin’ me in trouble, Mayfield?"
Devon laughs. "You get yourself into trouble all on your own."
Mullins thinks about that for a minute, then nods his head. "Yeah, I fuckin' do." All three of us burst out laughing. Mullins slaps the arms of the chair with his hands and removes his shirt. "Alright, tattoo guru, let's do this shit." He tells me what he wants, I draw it onto his skin, and we begin the tattoo.
His takes no more than an hour, and when I'm finished, I repeat the same process I did with Devon. Mullins now has five entwined hearts on his chest, inked into the skin where his own heart lies. Each one has a name, starting with his wife and followed by their four children. All four are under the age of fifteen.
I put the bandage on his tattoo and go over the cleaning and healing instructions with both of them. When we all file out of the room, Devon catches my arm. I spin, and he backs me against my office door.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" He peers down at me with those blue orbs that drown me in an ocean of hope.
I shake my head. "No, I'm closed tomorrow because I'm taking Zane to the amusement park."
Longing and disappointment etch into his features. "I'll leave my number with Audrey. If you get a chance, call me." His hand reaches up to run through my black and blond hair.
"I'll try." His lips crash against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck bringing him impossibly closer. My body is engulfed with feelings of thirsting and craving the man I'm beginning to know and the boy I loved.
He breaks free all too soon. "I'll be seeing you."
My lids flutter and all I can do is nod, but I don't miss the knowing smirk written all over his sexy face.
He leaves me standing here in a lust filled haze.
The bell chimes over the door and Audrey yells down the hall. "That kiss was hot as hell! Bet he's better than weak dick."
"Wouldn't you like to know," I shout back causing us both to laugh, but hell yes, he is. She sits back in her chair and I go into my office to rationalize why I have to move slowly with Devon instead of just jumping in head first. This slow shit is for the birds!
* * *
"Mom, can Connor come with us, please?" Zane elongates his please, begging me to allow his best friend to come to the amusement park with us.
"If it's okay with his parents." I point my finger at him and narrow my eyes. "It's Grandma and Grandpa Mayfield's night with you, so no ganging up on me later for him to stay the night."
He rushes to me with the biggest smile on his face, hugging me tightly. "Deal." He pulls back. "Can I have your phone to call him?" I hand it over, he runs to his room. A few minutes later he comes back out. "His parents said he can go."
"You ready to roll then, Z?" I ask as I grab my bag off of our dining room table.
He's practically bouncing with excitement. "Yep, let's roll." The amusement park is his favorite place to go, and the boy isn't scared of any of the rides. I lock up our apartment and we race each other to the car. Zane beats me, but we’re both laughing hysterically as we open the doors, get in, and buckle up.
* * *
"Come on, Mom!" Zane yells for me to hurry up. He and Connor are already in line for the Slingshot. It's the worst rollercoaster ever and Zane makes me ride it every time, knowing it scares the piss out of me.
It’s over a hundred feet in the air. When it starts, you automatically go into a drop that shoots you to the bottom. Hence the name. And then you have to go through the loops and twists and it turns upside down. I fucking hate it, but I love my son, so I do it for him.
I catch up to them. We stand in line for what seems like forever. When we’re seated, I have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Zane and Connor sit in front of me, couples sit behind me, and I leer down at the empty seat next to me. I wish Devon could be here with me, with our son, experiencing this. Not just the rides, but the family aspect of it all. I fasten my harness and wonder how long I’m going to make him prove himself. Hasn't he done that by showing up every day like he's promised?
My mind goes blank as we propel downwards, gaining speed. "Ahh!" I scream and hold on for dear life. Motherfucking, cocksucking, son of a bitch! I hate this shit!
We hit the bottom and zoom back up, coming around the first loop. Everything blurs as I spend the next few minutes hoping I don't have a heart attack. I scream every second of this horrible ride, and my throat hurts by the end of it.
When it’s over, we move on to the next ride.
* * *
There's a knock on the door. Already knowing it's Zane's grandmother, I holler while walking over to answer the door, "Z, your grandma is here." I open it and invite her in.
"Hi, Daphne." Connie smiles and steps inside.
Closing the door, I reply, "Hi, Connie."
Zane comes running out of his room with his backpack hanging on one shoulder. "Hey, Grandma." He gives her a hug and then hugs me.
"You have your toothbrush?" He tends to forget that when packing.
"Yes, Mom." He rolls his eyes.
Bending down, I kiss his forehead. "Be good and I love you."
"I love you too."
Connie's smile falls. "Zane, go wait out in the car. I need to talk to your mom for a minute." She pats his back and he follows her orders. When the door is closed, she asks, "Did you know Devon was back?"
"Yes, he's come to see me at the shop a few times." I downplay the actual amount because I didn't know he went to see his parents.
She sighs heavily. "He was drunk and talking nonsense when he showed up late one night." Her eyes pool with tears.
My brows knit together. "What do you mean nonsense?"
"Stuff like it's not his home and he's not wanted." Her bottom lip quivers. Why would he say something like that? His parents love him, and yet, he cut them off just like he did me. "Why would he say such things?"
I pull her into a hug. "I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me."
She sobs on my shoulder. "That wasn't my son, Daphne. What happened to my boy?"
"He's going to be okay, Connie." I rub my hand up and down her back.
She pulls away, sniffling, and wipes her nose. "I hope so. I saw that leather vest he was wearing. He's been running around with those motorcycle guys."
I stay quiet.
"I better go."
I open the door for her. "Try not to worry too much. Have fun with Zane, and make sure he doesn't eat too much sugar."
She laughs. "See you tomorrow. I'll have him home by noon."
I wait a few minutes after she's left, bite my bottom lip, and decide to get my phone.
"Hello?" His deep husky voice sends shivers through my body.
"Hey." I smile and trek to my bedroom, lie on my bed, and stare at the ceiling.
"I'm glad you called." I imagine him smiling. It's quiet in the background, making me wonder where he's at. "How was the amusement park?"
"It was fun. We picked up Zane's best friend, Connor. He still made me ride every damn ride. Where are you?"
Devon laughs. "You always did hate them. I’m in my room at the clubhouse. Is it the same as when we were younger?"
I picture him lying on his bed much like me without his shirt on and his muscles on display. I used to love looking at Devon’s perfect physique. But from the size of him now, I’d say I would have a lot more exploring to do and I wouldn’t care about his scars. An ache forms between my legs as I try to refocus to answer his question. "Pretty much. They have some new rides and some of the old ones."
"Do they still have the Ferris wheel?"
I smile brightly. "Yes." I haven’t ridden it since the last time I was there with Devon.
"That was always my favorite." His tone turns playful.
I laugh. "Just because you always stole a kiss at the very top."
He joins in my laughter. "Did you know, I always bribed the guy running it to stop us at the top?"
I gasp loudly. "No, you didn't!"
Devon laughs harder. "I did. I always let you get on first. So, when your back was turned away, I'd give him a twenty."
I grin. “You know, I would have kissed you any time you wanted.”
His voice lowers in a sexy way, “Yeah, but there was just something about being at that highest point, looking down at all of the lights and the city as far as we could see, then gazing into your shining eyes, and having my lips against yours.” I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. My heart pounds harder. Devon always did have a way with words, and a way to make me putty in his hands. I fell so easily in love with him as a young girl, and it’s happening all over again as a grown woman.
I ask, "You remember how we used to sit on the phone for hours?"
He chuckles. "Yeah, I'd stay on until you fell asleep or I'd sneak over."
I sigh. "Those were the days, when we had no worries, no fears, no complications."
"We could have them again, Daph." I know we could, but my head is still fighting my heart. I want to let him in, but I want to keep him at a distance. I'm not sure I'm ready to close that space.
We stay on the phone for hours, just like we used to, until my eyes feel heavy and begin to fall shut.
Quietly, I hear him whisper, "Goodnight. I'll love you forever, Daph."