I was brave enough to sneak past the office after my second class. It was ridiculous. I was sandwiched inside a group of students, but I swear I felt the office lady watching me. I knew it couldn’t be true.
Ryan came over as I was closing my locker to go to my fourth period. We had one more class before lunch, one more hour before goddamn freedom.
“How’s it going?”
And cue the other form of attention. I rested against my locker, looking down, but I could see from under my eyelashes. Oh yes, everyone was dying to know about Ryan and the mystery girl.
“What are you? The Greek god of dating?”
He smirked. “Hot shit. Did you already forget?”
“Right. Eagle of hotness.”
“Um, yeah.” His grin turned wicked, and he glanced around and saw all the attention too. Leaning closer, he dropped his voice. “For real. How are you? Cora told me about Margaret.”
I took a leap and figured Margaret was the front desk lady. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” He gestured to the hallway. “What’s your next class?”
“Espanol. Y tu?”
“Si, si.” He nodded. “Come on. You can be my table partner.”
I shot him a dry look, which he returned.
Once we got there, I realized it wasn’t a seniors-only class. Erin and Peach were in one corner, and I couldn’t stop my groan. Ryan snorted. His hand came to the small of my back, and he urged me forward. We walked to the back of the class and the very last table in the room. A guy after my own heart. We both slid in, and as if they dropped out of midair, Tom and Nick came to occupy the table in front of us.
“Hey, man.” Tom leaned over after the class started and worksheets were handed out. He did a fist-bumping thing with Ryan. Nick followed suit. Both looked at me, saw my face, and waved instead.
“You made it out of first period unscathed,” Nick noted.
“I did. Thanks for sitting by me.”
He shrugged. “It’s cool. That’s where we sit anyway. Seemed fitting you were there already.”
That was true.
They began talking to Ryan about classes, a party already in the works, and girls. I felt their glances, but I tuned them out.
I wished I cared. I really did, but I didn’t.
I felt her everywhere.
Sitting next to me.
Standing with me.
Walking beside me.
She was me, but I wasn’t her anymore.
I glanced at Ryan from the corner of my eye.
I’d latched on to him. He was a bandage over my wounds—covering them but not really healing them. They were still raw and open, but I was hoping to move fast enough that my insides wouldn’t spill out everywhere.
I was no longer a part of any of this, any of these people. I was on the outside, and I was the only one who really understood that.
No one else around me could claim to be a twinless twin. But that was my new identity.
I could almost hear Willow yelling at me, Those girls need to be taught a lesson. They aren’t the queens anymore. We rule now. You and me, Mac. The Willow Mac Attack. That’s you and me.
“Mac?”
I drew in a ragged breath. I could fucking hear her.
Her hand touched my arm. “Mac?”
I screamed, lurching out of my chair. Scrambling backward, my back hit the wall, and I gaped at where I’d been sitting.
Everyone was watching me.
Ryan’s hand stretched out toward where I’d been sitting. He slowly closed it into a fist and turned around in his chair toward me. He bent forward, resting his hands on his legs. “Mackenzie?”
God. It wasn’t her. Ryan had touched me. Ryan had only used her nickname for me.
“I . . .”
“What’s wrong with her?” Tom whispered.
Nick threw him a disgusted look, slamming his elbow into his chest.
“Ouch.”
As the teacher rounded the tables, heading toward me, Ryan stood and got between us. He blocked me from the rest of the class at the same time.
“What’s the problem?” the teacher asked.
I heard chairs scrape against the floor, and soon Tom and Nick were standing in front of me as well. All three of them shielded me. The gesture was so sweet, so kind, that I almost lost it again.
I reached out, grabbing Ryan’s shirt, and he sucked in his breath at the touch.
His voice came out a little strained. “She, uh—she needs a minute.”
I bent my head forward, my forehead resting against Ryan’s back.
“Well, take her outside,” the teacher added softly. “I know about—”
“Will do,” Ryan cut him off.
He swept his arm backward, sliding it around my waist, and pulled me with him. Twisting against his chest, I walked with him toward the door.
“My stuff,” I mumbled.
“Tom and Nick will grab it for us.”
Then we were out in the hallway, but Ryan didn’t pause. He let go of my waist and threaded our fingers together. Tugging me behind him, he stopped at his locker, grabbed his bag and keys, and took me to mine.
“Combo.” He pointed to it.
I didn’t want to let go of his hand, but I did, unlocking my locker.
Grabbing my backpack and some of my books, he paused. “You have your phone?”
I nodded before reaching to get it.
Then he shut my door.
Slinging both backpacks over his shoulder, he threaded our fingers again, and we walked to the parking lot. We were skipping school. Only a few students were in the hallway, but all of them watched us go, their eyes on our hands. No one stopped us.
We were pushing out the doors as a guy in a black bomber jacket came in the opposite way. He had long black hair, dark eyes, and a sneer that turned into a frown when he saw Ryan.
“Hey, man.” He stopped, his hand catching the door as Ryan let it go. “Where are you going?”
Ryan’s hand tightened over mine. His jaw clenched. “The fuck? You’re back here now?”
They knew each other; that was obvious. But there was something else there.
Cousins, maybe? Maybe they were family?
The guy ignored Ryan’s question, his dark eyes sliding over me. He’d been chewing on the end of a pen, and he took it out, pointing at me. “You’re skipping with a chick? Am I in an alternate universe? Did we switch roles?” He looked at Ryan. “Are you the badass rebel and I’m the basketball star?”
“Fuck off, Kirk.” But Ryan seemed to lose his heat. He started grinning and rolled his eyes. “You’re a pain in my ass.”
Kirk cocked his head to the side, popping that pen back in his mouth. “Tell me something different. You’ve been a pain in my ass since we were kids.”
Ryan laughed, and as Kirk held up a fist, Ryan met it with his free one.
They gave each other a sideways hug, and then Kirk nodded at me again. “Who’s the chick? I thought I was the only bad influence on you.”
Ryan lifted our linked hands, nodding toward me. “Mackenzie.”
I waited for more of an explanation. Apparently, so did Kirk. We both looked at Ryan, but his mouth was set in a firm line. That was all he had to say.
Good.
I hid a grin. There she was—my twin speaking in my head like she was with me.
Kirk nodded slowly. “Nice.” He held his hand up, his grin becoming wicked. “Nice to meet you, Mackenzie. I’m Ryan’s real best friend. The others are just posers.”
“Nice try.” Ryan rolled his eyes again, knocking Kirk’s hand down. “What are you doing here for real? You’re coming back?”
The rebel-smooth-Casanova look faded. “Yeah. My folks are divorcing. I’m surprised Nan didn’t tell you. I’m back with my dad.”
“Emily?”
“My little sister stayed with Mom. They’re down in Los Angeles.”
Ryan winced. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Yeah, well . . .” Kirk’s eyes found mine again. A mischievous spark lit there. “Looks like you’ve been busy.”
“It isn’t like that,” Ryan replied. His words seemed defensive, but his tone wasn’t. He spoke as if they were discussing the weather. “We’re taking off for the day.”
Kirk nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch over the posers.”
“Be nice to Tom!” Ryan yelled as his friend headed inside.
A hand in the air was Kirk’s response.
Ryan sighed, still watching his buddy.
“I’ll be fine.”
He looked at me, frowning slightly. “Hmm?”
I waved in the direction Kirk had gone. “If you want to go talk to him more, I can head out on my own.”
“I gave you a ride here.”
I shrugged. “I can call a car. That’s no problem.”
He shook his head. “No way. Kirk’s crazy. I’m not this golden boy who doesn’t do anything wrong. You’re my excuse to skip today. I’m actually using you.”
“Are you sure?”
He still seemed worried about his friend, but he nodded with a soft smile. Letting go of my hand, he threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. “Let’s go before the bell rings and the guys run out here.”
We didn’t quite make it.
The bell rang as we were getting into Ryan’s truck. Students were heading out for lunch as we left the parking lot.
“So.” Ryan glanced over. “Where we headed?”
I couldn’t figure this guy out.
He’d wanted to skip school. I really was his excuse, but then his friend had shown up. The other guys he hung out with seemed like normal, loyal friends. Kirk seemed more dangerous.
Willow would’ve been all about Ryan until she learned that, until she got a glimpse that he wasn’t the pretty boy/good guy she’d made him out to be.
Looking at Ryan, another small thrill coursed through me.
Maybe he was the guy I would’ve gone after in the first place. Willow could step aside.
“I don’t care,” I told him. “Anywhere is good.”