G’ANNA
I grabbed my purse off the huge, live edge, walnut dining table. “I need to get moving. I’ve yet to make it to my room, and there are some places I’d like to get a few shots off while I’m here in the city.”
Everyone else stood with me. “Come on, babe. I need to show you something behind our bedroom door.” KeeMac snickered as he said it and gave Ryder a head tip as he took Chandler’s hand pulling her to their doorway. “We’ll talk to y’all later.” He shut the door firmly behind them. If he tried to be subtle, he failed.
Ryder looked at me and shook his head. I chuckled a little. He followed me to the hallway door and opened it for me. I leaned against the frame before stepping out. “Thanks for making sure I slept in a nice bed last night. I hate that you curled up on the couch.”
He glanced back at the white linen seating. “It was fine. I’ve slept on worse.”
“I’m sure you have. I know this hasn’t always been an easy life on the road.”
He ran his hand through his mussed hair and down the back of his neck. The other hand hooked a thumb in his back pocket. “I enjoyed your company last night. I don’t get to do something like that too often.”
“No, me either. Thanks for the midnight cheeseburger, too.” I looked down the hall. “Guess I’ll go clean up in my room now.” Before I could take a step, he wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and eased toward me. I knew what was coming but couldn’t find a single reason to stop it.
His lips barely touched mine at first. It was more of a slow, soft brush than a kiss. It felt sweet, but then he stepped into my personal space and kissed me like he meant it. I melted against him and took all he offered. A kiss like that hadn’t happened in so long, I got caught up in the fervency of it as I wrapped my arm around his waist.
When he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine, I needed to get my breathing under control. “Uh… thank you,” my words whispered from my swollen lips. Nothing else came to mind after he’d wiped my brain cells.
“I want to see you again.”
“Okay.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“Good.”
I nodded, and he let me go. I walked, or maybe it was floated, down the hall to the elevator. Looking back at his doorway, he waved before shutting the door. As soon as I stepped into the empty elevator, I sucked in a deep breath trying to restore my depleted oxygen.
“Wow.” I didn’t know if I’d ever been kissed that thoroughly before. As the car descended to my floor, I thought back over last night. He’d held me in front of the city lights until I slept. I didn’t remember walking to the bed.
Surely, he didn’t carry me. I’m too heavy for that. My body wasn’t like Chandler’s. I tried to take care of myself, but I’d been known to binge on chocolate ice cream occasionally. He must have known that after watching me put away my dinner last night.
Working out wasn’t my favorite thing to do either, but I did like to run a few days a week so I could fit into my jeans. My curves didn’t bother me, though. A grown woman should have curves at forty, even if I never had children. He didn’t seem to mind, though, when he asked about seeing me again.
I smiled to myself thinking about his last words as I opened the door to my room. This could be an interesting tour.
I turned on the water of my average shower in an average hotel room. “Maybe one day I’ll make the kind of money that affords suites on top floors with oversized spa showers,” my voice echoed off the tiles as I stepped under the warmth.
My phone rang as I stepped from the bath area. It was my assistant checking in since I again forgot to do so.
“What’s going on, Trudy?”
“Just wanted to see if everything there was under control.” I heard her tapping on her keyboard as she spoke.
“Yes, it’s all good here. I lined up some ideas on the way here about places I wanted to shoot today. The sun’s out, so I’ll have some natural light for the ones I wanted to get in Central Park.” I pulled my leggings on while talking which was no easy feat. “What about there?”
“I’ve done most of today’s list already, but you know how that goes. As soon as I think I’m done, someone will call or come in and screw it all up.”
“Sorry, but I’m confident you’ll take care of everything. I’ll be back soon, and we’ll go over all that needs to be handled while I’m with the bands.”
“Sounds good.” I heard her shuffling papers. “Oh, you had an interesting call from a man.”
“A man?”
“Yes. He’s a band manager and wanted to set up a time for you to meet up and shoot them on stage.”
“What’s so strange about that?” I had calls like this all the time.
“For one thing, he wouldn’t leave his information. Never even said his name, even though I asked more than once.”
“That’s weird. Did he leave call-back info?”
“No, that’s the other thing. He said he would call back because he was calling from a temporary number. Who conducts business from a temporary number?”
“Good question. If he does call back, tell him I’m not interested, too busy, something. Make up an excuse. He’s probably a scammer anyway, so we aren’t getting involved in that.”
“Right. I should have said that as soon as he started being evasive.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t know. I mean, how often do we get those calls?”
“I’m going to say never before, but he knew the business and your name, and that you were in New York with the Steel tour.”
“What? How would he know that unless he was at the show and saw me?”
“Who knows? There’re crazies everywhere these days. I’ll put a stop to it if we hear from him again.” I had faith in Trudy. She knew how to handle everything about my business.
“Okay, I’m going to run. Don’t want to lose the light or be late to my paying gig.”
“Right. Have fun, boss.”
“You, too, boss two.” We always joked about that. I owned it, but she knew the business end of my company better than I did. I had enough to worry about besides dealing with numbers, which was something I hated.
I heard a knock on the door as I gathered my camera bag. Peeping through the keyhole, I spotted Ryder standing there in his usual thumb-in-pocket stance.
“Hello,” he greeted before the door opened completely. “You ready to leave?” He looked down at my bag in hand.
“Yeah. How’d you time that so perfectly?”
“Didn’t. Just took a chance you’d had enough time to get more beautiful.”
“Oh, now he’s all about cheesy lines.” I giggled, something I never did.
“I thought women liked being told they were beautiful.”
“You’re right. Sorry. Thank you. I guess it sounded strange.”
“Strange that I said it, or strange that I think you’re a beautiful woman?”
“Hmm… maybe both.”
“G’Anna, you are gorgeous. Men haven’t been telling you enough if you’re unaware of it.”
When was the last time I’d been told that by a man? I needed to work on my social life more. I looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you. I mean, for saying that. And no, I don’t hear it often since I rarely go out.”
“Why not?” I stepped into the hallway, and he pulled the door closed.
As we waited for the elevator, I turned to him. “I guess I don’t have time. I’ve been so busy trying to grow my business that I forget I need a social life, too.”
“And none of your customers ask you out? I find that hard to believe.”
I came back immediately with an incredulous, “Well, it’s true. A couple tried in the beginning but encouraging clients to see me as something other than my job never worked too well for me.”
Before the door opened, Ryder pulled a ball cap from his back pocket. I stared as he put it on. It had long hair pulled in the back into a ponytail.
“Really? That’s your disguise for the public?” I covered my laughter with my hand.
Next, he donned dark sunglasses. “Sure is. You like it?”
“Uh… I think it might draw more attention.”
“No, I’ll look like every other New Yorker who works as a photographer’s assistant.” He reached down and took my two bags of equipment. The backpack he slung over his shoulder. “Okay, I’m ready.”
The door opened, and he stepped out. I watched him and thought maybe he was right, but who said he was coming with me?
“What are you doing anyway? I didn’t ask you to help.”
“No, but if we’re going to have any time together and you get your work done, I need to go with you.”
“It’s going to be a lot of walking.” We turned and crossed the street heading to the park.
“Good. I need to get my cardio in, and I missed the gym this morning.”
“Something you do daily, I assume?” I knew he looked great under that shirt. His stomach felt rock hard when he held me against him last night as we looked out over the skyline.
“I try to. I’d gotten out of the habit, but while I was away, I took advantage of working out with a trainer every day.” His hand touched my back as the next light to cross changed, keeping it there while we moved along with the other pedestrians.
Not thinking about what he said, I asked, “Away?”
He didn’t answer right away, but we were in a crowd of people, so I didn’t push for one. I stopped at the park entrance near the spot I wanted to take the shots. Reaching for the bag, he put his hand on my wrist keeping me from my task.
“Wait.” The look on his face told me he wanted to say something important, so I stood still.
“What is it?”
“Look, I want to tell you the truth, so you don’t read shit about me and wonder about it.”
“Okay.” This sounded serious.
“I have some issues.” He took a breath, and I felt the need to validate his words.
“Don’t we all?”
“Yeah, maybe, but mine are more serious than some.”
I didn’t speak this time but nodded my head. He looked around us and then took my hand leading me to a park bench away from listeners.
“If you’ve read anything about me, you know I have issues with addiction.”
“Right. Lots of people do, though, so I didn’t make a thing out of it.”
“My addiction started from losing someone very special to me, Chandler’s mom. I lost them both for a long time when the band was getting started. I told you some of the story at dinner but not everything.
“Chandler’s mom left when she was pregnant, and I never knew about her until Chandler contacted me a few months ago. Even before I knew about Chandler, her mom was killed in an accident. Chandler was an infant and had been given up for adoption. I only learned all of this a few months back.” My heart dropped.
“It’s terrible that you were kept in the dark all these years, Ryder. I’m so sorry. They robbed you of all her growing up.” I took his hand and held it in mine to offer him comfort because his face said he still had issues over the loss of her childhood.
“When I found out about Chandler’s mom being killed, I lost it. I started a downhill spiral with drugs that really fucked me up. I ended up in rehab for a time, so I could work through the issues. Before overcoming the addiction, I had to deal with the grief of losing my first and only love.” He turned and sat back against the bench staring out at the park’s sparse wilderness in front of us. I had no intention of pushing him for any more information, so I mimicked his seating.
“When Chandler found me and started telling me the story, I immediately knew who she was. Hell, I knew when I saw her, but facing the truth was too hard. I called my doctor and checked myself into the rehab facility for a few days. Trying to self-medicate again after all those years to deal with the resurfacing feelings could happen too easily.” He squeezed my hand as if he were holding on. It made me glad to be there.
“I’m generally a strong person, G’Anna. I can deal with shit from everyone else and for my family and friends, but when this sweet, beautiful, young woman stood in front of me only seeking acknowledgment of her existence, I freaked out. Everything from over twenty years ago rushed back at me like a freight train hell-bent on keeping a schedule. I called the doctor and flew off to Arizona as soon they readied the jet.”
The silence filled in around us with children’s noises as moms with strollers jogged past. New Yorkers’ nannies walked by holding the hands of small children as they made their way to afternoon playdates. Did these sounds resonate with Ryder after the story he shared?
He finally turned to me. “If you don’t want to see me anymore, I completely understand. I’m still broken from what they stole from me, and if you don’t want any part of that, I get it.”
“Why would I think that, Ryder? You’ve been nothing short of wonderful to me. From the interaction between you and Chandler, I see you’re creating a relationship for the two of you which will last forever. Isn’t that the most you can hope for? Honestly, you don’t owe me an explanation at all. I mean, we’ve only been out on one date.”
“Yes, I know, but I think this could be more, and I wanted you to know what you’re getting into up front. I don’t want to develop feelings for someone who’s going to run at the first sign of trouble, and I guarantee there’ll be trouble. If not from my issues, then from fans and the paparazzi. I’m shocked as shit they haven’t found me already, and when they figure out we are together, they’ll come after you, too. Sometimes, I think they’ve implanted a tracker on my body that shoots a beacon up showing where I am every single minute.”
“I believe everything you’ve said until that.” We both laughed.
“Honestly, G’Anna, I’d like to see where this could go if you’re all in. With me and my life, there’s no halfway. We deal with the shit along the way and enjoy the privacy we can get. I’m working through the bouts of depression as they come and go, hoping that spending more time with Chandler ends some of them.”
I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I believe I can work with it.”
“Good. Now, let’s go shoot some pictures. I’m feeling photogenic today.” I slapped his chest at his crazy comment. When was he not photogenic?