What the fuck am I supposed to do with a baby? I can’t name a single person that would let me watch their dog for a weekend and now someone is handing me a baby. The self-doubt running through my body is astounding. I mean, I knew my own mother had fucked me up for life, but when Tiny told me she was pregnant and I might be a dad I didn’t think that I would end up being a single father. I thought I would be one of those part-time dads who got weekends or some bullshit holidays. I didn’t think I would be doing it by my damn self.

Lyric has been amazing, but I feel like I should give her an hour from all of this. She was prepared for baby momma drama, not being an actual mom. I’ve talked myself down off the ledge a couple hundred times today from doing it for her. Shit. I gotta get out of my head and go pick him up from the hospital and bring him home.

Home? Who the fuck am I fooling? I’m bringing my baby home to my girlfriend’s penthouse because I live in a condo with a bunch of goddamn bikers. Shit! My life is a never-ending cycle of self-doubt thanks to my mother.

“You’ll never amount to anything, just like your own piece of shit father.” She was fucked up again, and judging by the needle on the living room coffee table, it wasn’t going to get any better tonight. I knew to leave her alone when she picked this shit up. Grabbing my coat from the couch I make my way for the door of the trailer we share.

“Run away, you little bitch! Run away just like your father did!” She yells, taunting me as I walk out the door flipping her off. Two more years and I’m out of here. Two more fucking years and I’ll be an adult and I won’t have to deal with her or this fuckin’ shithole of a town. Walking down the dirt driveway in the direction of the diner I hear the roar of a motorcycle coming up the road. Probably one of the bikers around town. I wish I could get my own bike and ride away from all this bullshit.

I’ve always been jealous of those guys. They do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it. They pick up bitches left and right. Man, they got the life. Eventually the dirt road turns to pavement and as I get closer to the center of town, sidewalks magically appear. Woodstock, New York is a little hippy tourist town. A lot of people don’t realize the actual Woodstock Music Festival took place in Bethel, which is quite the far goddamn drive. My mother came here with her parents after the music festival and this turned into home.

My grandparents were never really around. I think I’ve met them a handful of times, and I swear I should blame them for leaving me here with her instead of taking me wherever they ended up. Florida, I think? Maybe I should save up for a bus ticket and try to find them. Might be an idea. Not like I haven’t thought about this a million times.

Finally I see Maggie’s Diner in the distance just as my stomach rumbles. There’s nothing to eat in the house and I was able to scrape up a couple bucks by turning in some scrap metal for old man Jeffrey.

“Hey, you,” deep voice says from behind me. I turn to look but I only see a group of the Hell’s Renegades standing there. The same bikers that rode past me earlier. They wouldn’t be talking to me so I look in the other direction quickly. I don’t want no trouble.

“Yo, kid,” the same voice says. Turning around to look at the bikers again, this guy nods in my direction. He’s tall and built for sure, looks like he could be a fighter. He’s got a bald head and dark sunglasses blocking his eyes.

Looking in his direction, I point at myself with question.

“Yeah, you,” he says.

“You’re Barbie’s boy, right?” he asks me. Apparently everyone knows my mother. I don’t want to claim her though. Unfortunately I have no choice. I’m not lying to these guys.

“Yeah,” I reluctantly admit with a less than enthusiastic tone.

“How’s she doin’ these days?” he asks.

It takes everything in me not to unload about what a piece of shit she is. Or how she has basically tortured me for the past couple years of my life since she took up smack.

“She’s okay, I guess,” I hedge. If they know her, they know what kind of bullshit she’s into anyway. I’m sure she probably owes them money or god knows what.

“Still shootin’ up, huh?” he says with a look of pity in his eyes. I can only nod and shrug my shoulders.

“You’ve been hangin’ round with those Thomas boys?” he asks. Not by choice. My little brother started boosting cars with them and I don’t want him gettin’ in any trouble alone. I gotta keep an eye out for him, no one else will.

“Yeah,” I reply. I don’t need to spell it out to him. He knows they are part of an organized car theft ring.

“You better stay clear of them. They are bad news. You don’t need to get mixed up in that shit, aye?” he says, looking out for me. I don’t know why he would care.

“I’ve just been keepin’ tabs on my brother,” I say, trying to explain it away. I’m not the one involved in stealing cars, but I’m responsible for him.

“You tell him to stay away from them too. Ain’t no good gonna come from all that. You’re only gonna end up in trouble with the law,” he says. It’s the truth, everyone that gets mixed up with the Thomases ends up in jail. They are never the ones who take the fall.

“I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.” I’m honest with the guy. I don’t know why I feel like I need to be but it seems like the best policy when it comes to the bikers.

“If he won’t listen, that’s on him. Save yourself the trouble.” He pats me on the back and starts to walk away.

“By the way, name is Chrome.”

“Ian.”

“Why don’t you come by the clubhouse one of these days? I got some work for you,” he says, re-joining the group of bikers in the parking lot of the local auto garage. I nod and make a note to skip school tomorrow and head straight to their clubhouse.

Fuck yeah.

* * *

To say that fatherhood has changed me over the past few days would be the understatement of the century. I’m not sure if it is something I am cut out for, but really, I have no choice at this point. Lyric has been great, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t second guessing myself every step of the way. Normally guys get like… nine months to prepare for this shit and I got a couple weeks.

I let out a sigh and pick up Jennings from the little co-sleeper bassinet connected to the side of Lyric’s bed. She’s made her entire penthouse a huge baby nursery. There are baby accessories as far as the eye can see. I cradle him against my body as his eyes start to open and he looks around for a bottle. Just like his dad, the first thing he wants is food. I laugh to myself at the little things we have in common.

“I’m doin’ the best I can, little guy,” I say. His big blue eyes look back at me. I’m dumbfounded with everything my life has become in the past couple weeks. I went from having nothing to having the love of my life back, a baby, and shit with the club has been quiet as hell. I think Satan’s Rejects finally realized getting into shit with us wasn’t the smartest idea. Not only do we outnumber those scumbags, but we have far more friends than they do.

“You have to start getting ready.” Lyric comes out of the bathroom all dressed up for the funeral we have to attend in an hour.

“We were having a moment!” I give her shit before looking down at the little dude, and passing him to Lyric.

“Hey there Momma’s big boy,” she coos as she rocks him and exits the room.

This is my life… and that’s pretty kick ass.

My phone vibrates on the end table and I see Chrome’s name on the caller ID.

“Aye?” I say, answering his call.

“We got trouble.” His voice is stern and to the point.

“What’s goin’ on?” I ask

“Get to the club. You got 15.” The call disconnects and I jump into double-time to get dressed so I can get out the door.

“Lyric!” I yell, my voice echoing through the vaulted ceilings of the penthouse.

“What?” she says, rounding the corner with Jennings happily enjoying a bottle.

“I gotta jet. Chrome called, some kind of problem. Can you get to the club with him for the service?” I ask. I’m sure Seven can send a driver, or she can Uber, or hell, Kent downstairs can call her a car too.

“I’ll be fine. You go do whatever you have to do.” She dismisses me.

I walk by, grab my cut off the living room sofa and give her a kiss.

“I’ll see you in a little bit. Be safe.”

I’m back on high alert.

* * *

“Someone saw one of the Rejects sniffing around the clubhouse early this morning. We gotta do a full sweep of the building, the surrounding buildings and the parking lot. We got a lot of people who are gonna be here within the hour so we gotta get this done quick,” Chrome says.

“We can’t have a bunch of women and children here if some shit is about to pop off,” Judge adds.

“We have no choice. This is a funeral, not a fuckin’ party. We can’t cancel at the last minute. That’s not how this works.” Chrome is mad. He’s mad we had to do any of this to begin with because it’s a waste, but she was loosely part of our club and what kind of message would it send if we didn’t take care of our own?

“I don’t care what you have to do to clear these fuckin’ buildings… but you better get out there and do it NOW.” His voice booms and we all go our separate directions. As I begin to walk away in the direction of the parking lot, Chrome calls me over.

“I want to check up on you. How is everything?” he asks me. I stall for a minute because I’m not exactly sure how to answer the question. In the grand scheme of things, life is golden. But in my fucked-up head, everything is about to fall the fuck apart because I’m not parent material.

“It’s alright. I’m just tired,” I admit.

“Everything will be alright. I promise,” he says.

“I remember when Scarlett was born. I bounced. I left her with my parents whenever it was my time to spend with her. Babies are fuckin’ intimidating little fuckers.” He laughs.

“But I promise it gets easier. And the more time you spend with him, the more naturally shit will come to you. There ain’t no science to bein’ a dad. It’s completely on the job training kinda shit.” I laugh because deep down I know he is right. I’m sure I will get to a point where I stop doubting everything I am doing and just rock it out being a dad. I have to because I can’t go on doubting every move I make because of my own deadbeat parents.

If I keep using that as a crutch in life, I’ll never be the father this boy actually deserves. I’m not strung out like they were. Hell, since we brought him home from the hospital, I haven’t even had a single beer. That right there is an accomplishment.

“Y’all should get you a nanny like Jordan. It helps with the stress, especially once Lyric actually has to start working again. It’ll be hard on her and the extra hands will come in handy. Especially once you have to hit the road again. I’ve been easy on you but we got some shit out west we have to clear up soon. I can’t let Judge go on his own, and it’s a time sensitive job.” Fuck, the last thing I want to do is get ready to go across country again.

I think about how it’ll be different now, though. Those guys can have all their fun, but I like having an old lady. It’ll keep me out of a lot of fuckin’ trouble, that’s for sure. I can’t be a goddamn cowboy anymore. I got a family to come home to.

“Just lemme know when,” I reply.

“You got a couple weeks. Just get Lyric prepared for it, aye?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

Just as I reach for the door handle to head out into the spacious parking lot of our clubhouse, an explosion shakes the entire building.

“What the…”