CHAPTER 15
Braith had originally taken Aria to Melinda’s apartments to get her away from the turmoil and her father’s body. However, after the first day of mute silence scattered with intermittent weeping, she made her way out of the palace while he was preoccupied with trying to sort things out. He found her in the stables with Max, tending to the wounded animals with stalwart care. The two of them seemed content away from the confusion of people and vampires, and he didn’t have the heart to protest.
He simply couldn’t dislike Max, not anymore, and had actually come to respect him. The boy had gone through things Braith would never understand, he’d been damaged and tormented by them, but somewhere along the way he’d stopped being a boy and grown into a man. A man that had protected his back, and unflinchingly followed him into the palace while knowing that he would never have the one person he coveted most.
Max noticed him first in the doorway of the stable and nudged Aria to get her attention. “I know,” she murmured as she snipped off the thread she’d used on a wounded lamb. “I’m not going back in there Braith, you can’t make me.”
He couldn’t help but smile as she glanced at him over her shoulder. Dark circles shadowed her haunted, reddened eyes. He was well aware of the fact that she hadn’t slept last night, and that she probably wouldn’t sleep tonight, but her chin jutted in determination and her gaze was defiant as it met his. She was damaged, she was partially broken, but that radiant spirit still flickered beneath the sorrow.
“Have I ever been able to make you do anything?”
Max chuckled as he lifted the lamb, nodded to Braith, and wandered down the aisle of the only stable that had survived the fires. It had taken most of the day to finally extinguish the fires within the palace walls, and there were still a few houses burning in the outer town. There was a crew working on putting them out with water from the river, but hopefully they would have them out by nightfall.
Aria wiped the blood from her hands with a dirty rag. “I suppose not,” she admitted with a tremulous smile.
“How long have you been out here?”
“A couple hours.”
“You should have told me,” he admonished.
“You were busy.”
“I’m never too busy to make sure you’re safe. There are still some out there who were loyal to my father, we haven’t caught them all yet, and it’s no secret what you mean to me anymore.”
Her eyes flickered, for a moment tears sprang forth but she rapidly blinked them back. “Max has been with me, and I have my bow.”
The slender curve of her neck drew his eyes as she glanced toward the barn doors. He winced at the myriad of bite marks and bruises from his brother and father, stark reminders of the brutality she’d endured and had yet to talk about. There was an air of desolation around her that he didn’t know how to ease.
“At least have a vampire with you; I can’t lose you again Aria.” He knew her freedom was essential but she had to stay alive. Something flickered in her eyes as she turned back to him, she looked about to say something more but simply nodded. “Xavier has stepped aside as leader of his people.”
Her eyebrows drew together over her nose. “Why would he do that?”
“Xavier has always preferred his books and histories more so than his role as an aristocrat. He was never afforded the opportunity to step aside before, but now he has a chance to set his own destiny. He has chosen to stay on as an advisor, and to sit in on important issues that involve the people he represented when it’s necessary, but he doesn’t want to be involved in the daily running of the government, not anymore. We have all agreed to accept his decision. He said he would stay with you if that’s ok?”
“Why would he want to stay with me when he has just gained the freedom he desired?”
Now was not the time to give her the real answer to that question, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her either. “He’s curious about how the rebellion worked. He won’t push you, won’t ask you anything, but if you’re willing to talk with him, he is more than willing to listen.”
“I see,” she murmured. “That’s fine.”
“Aria…”
She held up a hand to forestall his words. “I don’t mind if Xavier stays, really. I would just like to be out here, away from…” Her words trailed off, her gaze darted toward the palace. Her father was one of the few that hadn’t been buried yet. He’d been placed in the second hall on the main floor so that each of his followers would have a chance to say goodbye. Barnaby, whose body had also been recovered, was lying in the room beside David’s. His father, Caleb, and Natasha hadn’t been awarded the same luxury and had already been buried in unmarked graves away from the palace. “I just have to be outside for a bit.”
“I understand.”
Her attention was diverted as Max returned with a small piglet that was squealing in his arms and bleeding from a gash in his leg. “I have to get back to the animals.”
He thought she was simply going to turn away from him, that she was going to shut him out. After a moment’s hesitation though she hurried over, wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. He felt the wetness of her tears, but when she pulled away she had already stopped shedding them. He brushed the hair back from her face as he kissed her softly and released her into the care of Xavier and Max.
Braith hated that he couldn’t be with her when she retreated to the stables for the following two days, but there was so much to repair, and order to be re-established. Barnaby’s followers were confused and scrambling. Calista and Gideon had taken over trying to organize them while Adam, Barnaby’s second, was slowly trying to assume command.
Xavier reported back to him every night, but it wasn’t the same. He longed to be with her during the day, but he knew now that he couldn’t always have everything he wanted. Not anymore. He refused to leave her at night though, no matter what necessity might arise to draw his attention from her, he wouldn’t leave her side. He’d placed Jack and Gideon in charge of any crisis that arose at night.
For two nights he held her as she lay awake. She remained mute as she stared unseeingly into the darkness, sometimes shedding noiseless tears that broke his heart. In all his years he’d never felt more helpless, not even when Caleb had taken her from him. At least then there had been a plan, there had been a mission, there had been someone to destroy. There was nothing now; there was no one he could protect her from, no way for him to ease her deep heartache.
He didn’t know how to handle grief, he couldn’t beat it, he couldn’t break it, and he certainly couldn’t kill it. All he could do was lay helplessly beside her and hold her as she suffered through the nights. It didn’t help that she wouldn’t talk about it, the mere mention of her father made her flinch; her face would become stony and impassive every time his father or Caleb was brought up.
Finally, last night, something had changed. Long after every one had retreated to sleep, she’d risen from his bed, grabbed a robe and noiselessly padded away. His own exhaustion clung to him as he followed behind her, uncertain of where she was going until she arrived on the first floor. He’d held back, hovering in the doorway as she’d wandered to her father’s side. She stood beside the casket that hid the injury he’d sustained to his shoulder, and the spear hole through the heart that had ultimately been his downfall. Braith was infinitely glad the wounds were hidden as she sat on the stool next to her father, placed her head upon his chest and began to weep more openly than she had for the past three days.
Though he’d yearned to go to her, to hold her, to pull her away, he’d remained unmoving. He sensed instinctively that she was simply seeking a way to heal, a way to say goodbye on her own, and that he didn’t belong here. He’d retreated from the doorway, leaving her within as he settled onto the cold marble floor outside the room and waited for her to come back to him. She didn’t reemerge until the first rays of daylight broke over the horizon.
He’d carried her back to bed, where she’d fallen into a fitful sleep for a few hours; it was far more than the mere minutes at a time that had been claiming her for the past three nights.
Now, on the fourth day, they were burying David. A man, that even he mourned the death of, and not just because of Aria. David been a good man, he’d created an amazing woman; he’d loved his children, and had accomplished so much in his short, mortal lifetime. They’d butted heads over Aria, but it had been because of their mutual love for her, and in the end David had revealed everything he knew. Though none of what David had told them offered any certainty to the questions that Xavier had presented.
Braith kept his arm around her waist, he wasn’t holding her up but he felt it was only a matter of time before he might actually have to. Her brother’s stood beside her, as stalwart as she’d been over the past few days. They’d gone almost woodenly about their days as they helped to oversee the repairs to the worst of the destruction that had been wrought, and the reformation of the new government.
Aria’s skin was unnaturally pale against the black enshrouding her. He kept the umbrella over her head, sheltering her from the steady rain as she pressed closer to his side. Her hair fell forward to shelter her delicate features as she kept her head bowed. Depression had already taken its toll on her. Her collarbone, the bones in her chest, and the back of her hands stood out more. She hadn’t eaten much over the past few days, but Xavier and Max made sure that she was given breakfast and lunch, and he made sure that she at least put some food in her stomach at dinner time. He was concerned about her, but beneath the choking sorrow he knew that she was there, still strong vibrant and very much determined to live.
At least he hoped she was.
The funeral was not like the other human funeral’s he’d witnessed over the years, or even like the more elaborate vampire funerals he’d attended. There was no preacher; instead the people that felt like speaking each took a turn. He’d lost count of the humans that had stepped forward to speak of David, then Jack, and finally Daniel had assumed the spot at the head of the gravesite. Though they wouldn’t actually be buried next to one another, Aria had asked for her mother’s name to be added to the tombstone, and Braith had been more than willing to comply.
Though there were a few times that Daniel’s voice broke, he didn’t cry, and he appeared every bit as strong as the leader he’d just become as he spoke of his father. Beside Aria, William’s fingers twitched, the two of them briefly clasped hands before breaking contact. A single tear slid down her face as Daniel said a final goodbye and stepped away.
Aria’s delicate fingers twirled around the single red rose she held. She stepped forward, momentarily exposed to the rain as she tossed the flower onto the coffin. She was shaking as she stepped back beside him. He ached for her, so much so that he felt her suffering almost as acutely as if it were his own.
He turned her away and walked with her amongst the crush of humans and vampires as they moved away from the woods and back toward the palace. He’d offered to bury their father in the royal cemetery but they’d refused, stating that he would be happier in the woods, and Braith knew they were right.
Once inside the palace he led her toward the stairs. Gideon’s brown hair was still damp from the rain as hurried to catch up with them. “Later Gideon,” Braith informed him briskly.
Gideon looked as if he was going to argue, but he closed his mouth as he met Aria’s haunted gaze. “As soon as you are able it is essential we speak.”
“I’ll be down again in a few hours.”
Gideon nodded and bowed his head as he stepped away. Braith felt the eyes on his back as he led her up the stairs and to the new rooms that he’d claimed for them until his old suite could be restored. He didn’t even know yet if Aria would be willing to stay in the palace, but he wasn’t going to push her on the subject of their future now. They’d speak of it when she was ready.
Once inside the room, he slipped the damp black cloak from her shoulders and tossed it aside. Her arms were chilled and the small blue veins that ran through her pale skin were clearly visible. The marks that his brother and father had inflicted upon her were dark and vivid. His jaw clenched, he wished those marks would fade far quicker than they were. She stood, unmoving before him as his hands briefly traced over her bare shoulders.
“You have to start eating more Aria.”
Her eyes were dark and remote as she studied him. “I will,” she promised flatly.
He knew that though she said the words she would do no more than pick at the food he’d ordered brought up for her. “A bath will help you warm up.”
“Yes.”
She stiffly moved with him to the bathroom. He unzipped the back of her simple black dress and slid it away from her as warm water filled the tub. Though she was bared to him, he felt nothing sexual as he helped to ease her into the water. All he aspired to do was comfort her, to protect her, to ease this for her somehow, and he still didn’t know the extent of the torture his father and brother had exerted over her. Her body was still covered with faded bruises and bite marks that marred her fair skin.
He unhurriedly dipped a cloth into the water and ran it over her shoulders and down her back. She didn’t shy away from his touch, she wasn’t embarrassed by it like she had been when she’d first come to the palace. She drew her knees up against her chest, not to hide her nudity, but in a gesture of comfort as she wrapped her arms around her legs. She rested her cheek on her knee as she watched him. Unshed tears shimmered in her eyes as he rubbed the cloth over her lower back in small, soothing circles.
“Aria…”
“It’s ok, I’ll be ok. I just hurt.”
“I know you do.”
“Please don’t worry about me. I’ll get through this. I just need time. But time seems so long now, so… empty? Maybe not empty, but wrong somehow, and I don’t know how to explain it. There’s this hole inside me and all I want is for it to be filled again, but that’s impossible, and I have to learn to live with it because there are no other options. I have to figure out a way to patch the hole enough so that I can breathe again, without feeling as if the air is suffocating me.”
His hand stilled on her back, it was the most she’d said to him in the past four days. “Tell me what to do to make it better.”
She frowned, her hand slipped from her legs to entwine with his. “There is nothing you can do other than being here,” she murmured. “Time will help I suppose. I’ve heard it heals all wounds, but I don’t think this one will ever completely heal. How could it?” Tears slipped down her face, he wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. “You being here make’s it better, you being with me makes it better. Together. We won Braith and that is more than I’d dared to let myself hope for.”
“We did.” And she’d been so immersed in her melancholy that she didn’t know she’d become a hero of sorts. Daniel had stepped forward to claim his father’s place, and William and Max had become his seconds in command, but Aria was the one everyone talked about, the one they whispered about in awe. The human that had helped take down the king, the ex-blood slave that the new king cherished. Even the vampires admired her, even more so than they had before.
Her eyes closed as he washed her back, kneading her skin as he sought to ease the knots in her muscles. “I knew there was a good chance we would lose someone, I prepared myself for it. I know that we’re lucky even more weren’t lost, and lucky to be alive and free.”
“But you still miss him.”
“Yes.” Her misery was palpable in that one word. “I never got to say goodbye.” More tears slid down her cheeks, he didn’t brush these ones away; they were hers to shed. “I never had the chance to tell him I loved him again.”
“He knew.”
Her eyes appeared even brighter with the tears shimmering in them and the shadows outlining them. “I know that, but before we separated in the past we always said our goodbyes and exchanged our love. Caleb robbed me of that.”
His hand stilled on her back, every muscle in his body froze. If his brother hadn’t already been dead, in that moment he gladly would have killed him a thousand times over. He waited, unable to tear his eyes from hers as she finally spoke of his family. “I’m mad at myself for going into that town, but I’d do it again. That’s the person my father raised, it’s who I am.”
“It is,” he agreed, still unable to bring himself to ask the questions lodged in his throat. He was desperate to know but terrified of the answers she would give him.
“I’m sorry for your losses also,” she whispered.
“I suffered no losses.”
“I know you weren’t close with your father and brother, or Natasha, but they were still your family.”
“You are my family. Jack and Melinda are my family, even Ashby has started to grow on me again, and somehow I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ve begun to like your brothers.” A small smile flickered across her lips, her eyes lit with amusement as she actually chuckled. The sound of that small laugh warmed him and eased some of his fears.
“That surprises me, with William especially.”
“He is the more annoying of the two,” Braith agreed.
Her smile widened as her fingers danced over his. “My father always said one of us would have been bad enough, but two of us were a sign that he was being punished for something in an ancestor’s past.”
Now would be the time to tell her, but he found he couldn’t. Not when she was smiling again, not when there was actually happiness shimmering in her eyes instead of despair. Later, there would be time later; they finally had time for each other, with each other.
“I’ll take the punishment,” he assured her.
“I hope so.”
“Hell, I’ll even take Max.”
“I’ve noticed the two of you have been getting along better. I’m glad,” she murmured.
“I’m glad you’re glad.”
A sigh escaped her and the smile slipped away. “Would you tell me if you were bothered by the loss of your family?”
“They were my blood, but I’m not sorry they’re dead. They were brutal creatures that never would have changed. If Caleb hadn’t taken my father down when he did, things may have been far different Aria. We may very well be dead. He was a powerful man, and would have been far fiercer competition than Caleb. Thousands upon thousands of lives will be better because of their deaths. Including ours.”
He lifted her arm gently, hoping to distract her from her thoughts as he rubbed the cloth over her ribcage. He didn’t want her feeling any guilt over their deaths when he felt none. He was surprised to find her contemplating him when he placed the arm back down and took hold of her other one. “You must be hungry.”
He shook his head. There was enough for her to deal with right now without having to worry about his needs too. “Gideon brought me some blood yesterday, I’m fine.”
“It’s not as good.”
He smiled wryly at her. “Nothing is as good as you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of her wrist, the one that was not as bruised and raw looking. He froze, his muscles bunched as he spotted her black-and-blue middle finger. Though the bone was healed, he knew exactly what had been done to it. It took everything he had not to bellow in rage, but that was the last thing she needed right now. “But it’s enough,” he managed to choke out.
Her fingers stroked over his cheek before slipping under his chin to lift his head slightly. “I miss the bond it establishes between us.”
“As do I, but not until you’re better Aria.”
She turned her hand over in his and clasped his fingers. “What they did to me Braith, you can see it all.”
His hand clenched around the cloth, his shoulders stiffened as he froze. He’d tried not to think about the fact that they may have taken more than just her blood from her, tried not to think about the degradation she would have experienced. It made him wish they were both alive so he could draw out their deaths in ways that even his father hadn’t imagined possible. He’d love her no matter what; take her anyway that he could get her. No matter how much time it took he’d be there to help her heal.
He swallowed as he leaned closer to her, almost afraid to hope. “What are you saying Aria?”
She pressed her palm to his cheek. “They didn’t rape me Braith; they were waiting for you for that.” She tilted her head as her thumb brushed briefly across his bottom lip. “I wouldn’t have hated you if they had.”
“I didn’t come for you. The other things they did to you.” His gaze focused on her finger and the lingering bites.
“You did, when you could, and you came straight for me. Getting yourself, and everyone else killed for me, would have been foolish Braith. I’m glad you waited.”
“I know you have nightmares.” She recoiled slightly, but he pressed her hand to his cheek before she could pull away completely. “I see the way you are now in the dark.”
Her haunted eyes flitted away from him. “I didn’t like being in the caves, and the dungeons…” she shuddered as she bit her lip. “They were awful. I’d like to say that I’ll get over it one day, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be in enclosed spaces like that again. Maybe one day we can turn the bathroom light off though.” She managed a tremulous smile as she dropped her cheek to her knee.
“The worst thing they did…” Her nose scrunched up, disgust filtered over her features as her mouth pursed. “The king forced his blood into me, to keep me alive. To punish me and try to break me, but he didn’t. There may be lingering nightmares but I’m sure I’ll eventually stop having them. I’ll learn to deal with my fear of entrapment and the dark, and time will eventually erase the taste.”
He fought to keep his face impassive even as something malicious coiled through his gut. The dark, he hadn’t realized that it bothered her until now. She had insisted that he leave the bathroom light on at night, but he’d just assumed that was because she no longer slept. The dungeons had left a lingering impression on her; one he suspected was even more profound than his father or Caleb.
She closed her eyes and for a moment she looked so young, so vulnerable that it took everything he had not to snatch her up and firmly declare that she was never going to leave his arms again. It was a foolish thought though, impossible, and one she would only resent.
“His blood was so different than yours. It was awful; I’d never tasted anything so vile.” Then she was looking at him again, her eyes clear and questioning. “Why was it so different?”
“Because you belong with me.” It was the most simple, basic, and truthful answer that he could come up with.
“I do don’t I?”
“Yes.” He hadn’t meant it to but the word came out as a low growl.
She smiled at him as her fingers flitted over his arm. “I could feel my body rebelling against his blood, fighting against its intrusion into my body. It’s intrusion into you. Even my body knew that only you belonged there.”
She’d rendered him speechless. Emotion entwined so firmly in his chest that he thought he might actually cry. He didn’t think he’d ever done that in his life. It was rage that drove him, an ardent drive to keep her safe, and an overwhelming urge to possess her in every way. This though, this was different. He loved her, he’d die for her, but he realized now that their relationship had been mostly driven by fear. Fear of her blood slave status, the fear that came of losing her, fear of failing in this war, fear of Caleb and his father.
However, at the heart of it, at the very center of everything they had accomplished was the two of them, and this simple miraculous gift they’d been given, his love for her, and hers for him. It had driven them both to do things they’d never imagined they could do, and in the end they’d won. He didn’t know what their future held, but he knew that no matter what, this gift had been worth every nightmare it had brought to them, and every nightmare it may continue to bring.
He was astounded by the love that flared through him and pushed aside his enduring hatred toward his father and brother. They were his past, and sitting before him was a future more promising and beautiful than any he’d ever dared to hope for.
“Even if they had done more to me, I would still be glad that you hadn’t come. You did the right thing Braith. It may have taken me time to heal, but they wouldn’t have broken me. I’m not breakable, I may be shaken right now, but I’m not broken.”
She was right, she was grieving, she was trying to come to terms with the abuse she had suffered and the loss of her father, but she wasn’t broken. “You’ll make a remarkable queen Arianna.”
She became rigid, her dusky eyes widened as she stared at him. “Braith, I’m aware of the fact that they won’t accept me as a human.” He pushed the long strands of her dark auburn hair behind her ear. He relished in the silken feel of her skin beneath the palm of his hand as he lingered on her cheek. “And I know you don’t want to change me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to change you Aria, I would love nothing more than to spend eternity with you.”
“But you’re frightened I won’t survive the change.”
“There are some things we must discuss, when you’re feeling better.”
Her forehead furrowed. “What things?”
“Later Aria, for now take some time to heal. We have time now, enjoy it.”
“We do, don’t we?” she replied with a small smile. “I miss him.”
“I know.”
“I wish he had survived to see us succeed.”
“He knew.”
Her eyes drifted closed as she rested her cheek on her knees again. He continued to hold her until the water turned cold, and he helped her out. She stood, shivering slightly as he dried her off with a towel and helped her into a robe. As they entered the sitting room Aria took a sudden step back at the sight of Jack on the couch with his legs leisurely crossed at the ankles. Braith wasn’t the least bit surprised to see his brother though.
“I brought the food.”
Aria eyed Jack warily as she circled around him to the tray of food he’d placed near the window. Keegan lifted his head to watch her for a moment before yawning and dropping his head back to his paws. “Thank you,” she muttered.
Braith was reminded of the fact that he’d suspected something off between them before she’d been abducted. He hadn’t had time to think of it after, but the tension between them was obvious as they stared at each other. His brother wasn’t so foolish as to think he could take her from this palace again without Braith destroying him, or was he?
“Why are you here Jack?” Braith inquired brusquely.
“They would like to have a meeting tonight to decide what will be done with the remaining soldiers.”
Aria placed the piece of bread she had been picking at down. “What do you mean what is to be done with them?” she inquired.
“They worked for the king Aria,” Braith reminded her.
She shook her head as she glanced between the two of them. “I know that, but are you going to kill them because of that?”
“That is not my decision to make.”
“I know you expect to establish this democracy type of government, but to start with this type of slaughter is to create a government founded in blood. I know that it started with a war, but what happens from here on out will shape the future.”
“There are times when blood is necessary,” Jack said.
There was a fire in her gaze that hadn’t been there for the past few days as she glared at his brother. “Death is not the answer here.”
“Then what would you suggest?” Jack demanded. “We turn them loose to gather a rebellion against us? There are men loyal to my father who could easily instigate another war. Is that what you would like, even more death?”
The color drained from Aria’s face, her hands fell limply into her lap. Braith took a step toward his brother as Jack threw up his hands and leapt to his feet. He cautiously edged away from Braith and toward the door. “I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking; I’m sorry Aria. You know how much your father meant to me too.”
“Get out Jack,” Braith grated.
Jack was just as pale as Aria as he managed a quick nod. “Wait.” Aria pushed aside the tray as she rose to her feet. “I know you didn’t mean anything Jack, and more death is the last thing I want, but there must be another option. The soldiers were just following orders; some of them must be worth saving.”
“I’m sure some of them are,” Jack agreed as his gaze shot warily to Braith. “But there are others that must be destroyed, you have to understand that Aria.”
“Does my opinion even matter?”
“Your opinion has always mattered to me and there are many who admire and respect it also,” Braith informed her. Her brow furrowed as she stared at him. “You helped to take down not only an aged, powerful vampire, but also a king.”
Her jaw clenched as she glanced away. “I don’t like to be admired for death, no matter how awful Caleb was.”
“I know that Aria, but you’re also admired for your bravery.”
Her face colored, she looked uncomfortable with the notion as she shifted uneasily. “I understand that the men and women most loyal to your father have to be put down. I know the way of the world, and the repercussions of war, but some of those guards had no other choice. Some of them were simply doing their jobs in order to take care of their families, in order to survive. We’ve all done things we didn’t want to do in order to stay alive; you can’t punish them for doing the same.”
“Would you like to come to the meeting to state your opinion?” Braith inquired.
“I would.”
Jack’s eyes darted worriedly toward him. “There is something else you must know first.” She quirked an eyebrow as she studied him. Braith didn’t really want to tell her this, but he couldn’t hide it from her and he wasn’t about to lie to her. “Gwendolyn is one of the prisoners.”
For a moment confusion marred her features and then her eyes widened as her mouth dropped. “Your fiancée?” she blurted.
“Ex,” he growled.
She blinked as she shook her head. “Yes, ex, whatever. What is she doing there? Here?”
“She was an aristocrat Aria; she resided within the town and was amongst those captured. Lauren will be there also.” Her nose wrinkled as her lip curled. Keegan rose and pressed against her legs as he sought to offer her comfort. “I would still like for you to attend.”
Aria was quiet for a moment. Braith thought she might refuse, that she might retreat back into the world of despair that had clamped its teeth into her. Instead, she turned toward him and nodded firmly. “So would I.”
He couldn’t help but smile at her as relief filled him, his Aria had never retreated from anything.