CHAPTER 17
Over the next three weeks, mourning weighed her down like a wet blanket that threatened to suffocate her within its cloying folds. She spent most of her time within the stables. All of the animals that could have been saved had already been tended to, but she still sought out the simple comfort that the building and animals had to offer her.
Some moments were tougher than others. At times she could barely breathe through the sorrow that would constrict her chest and drive her to her knees. In those moments it took all she had to gather the strength to stand again, to breathe again, and to not lose herself to the tears and the misery. Gradually, over the days, though the grief didn’t lessen, she became more accustomed to it. She was better able to deal with it as she began to accept the fact that she would never see her father again. Never hear his laugh, or bask in his smile, or receive his crushing hugs that always made her feel like the cherished child that she was to him.
Slowly she began to accept the fact that her life would have a constant hole in it, but it was a hole that one day wouldn’t cripple her as it did in those first couple of weeks.
In the stables she found peace and solace with the animals and her friends. She fed the horses, cleaned them, and sat with them. Xavier remained her constant shadow, but she was surprised to realize that she didn’t mind. In fact, she actually grew to enjoy his company. For the first few days they didn’t speak at all, and then Max grew tired of the quiet and began to strike up conversations with him.
There was so much that Xavier knew, so much history that he was eager to share with them. In those moments, when he was regaling them with stories of pyramids, vast seas, boats, sweeping buildings, flying airplanes and distant green lands filled with people, she found an escape from her sadness.
Aria found herself enraptured by his stories, and the stunning tribal tattoos that marked his dark skin. Sometimes she and Max would sit in the middle of the aisle as Xavier told them everything he knew. It all sounded so fantastic, a little frightening and overwhelming, but amazing. She was glad Braith had chosen Xavier to be her guard, and she suspected that a big part of that reason was because of Xavier’s tales.
“What was it like here before the war?” Max didn’t look up from the saddle he was polishing but Aria paused in the middle of brushing a large bay stud. They’d never asked what it had been like around here. She hadn’t wanted to know, and she’d assumed the same of Max, but apparently she’d been wrong.
Xavier was thoughtful as his hands folded into the sleeves of his robe. “Peaceful. Braith’s father had chosen this area because it was serene and secluded. He was able to build the palace away from the prying eyes of the higher populated human areas, and the location offered us great security. There were some outlying vampire establishments throughout the world, but some of them came here when it became clear that there would be a war, and the ones that didn’t…”
“Were destroyed,” Aria whispered.
Xavier nodded. “It was a relatively good life here once.”
“It will be again.” Max lifted the saddle and tossed it onto a sawhorse. “Where is here? You’ve told us all these stories of far off lands and countries, of kings and wars and mythologies, but you’ve never really told us about this land. This place. What was it called?”
“Pennsylvania. It was once called Pennsylvania, and it was at one time a part of the United States.”
“Pennsylvania,” Aria found she liked the strange word as she sounded it out. She’d read about the United States in a couple of books, but she’d never heard of Pennsylvania. “Tell us about it,” she encouraged. “All of it.”
Xavier smiled at her as he settled onto a bale of hay and started to regale them. Aria put the brush down as she found herself drawn forward. She settled onto the bale beside him as Max pulled down another saddle and began to polish it. It never failed to amaze her how Xavier remembered all of the things he did, and how astute he was at pointing out details she never would have noticed otherwise. She became so engrossed in his words that she didn’t even notice the sun was setting until Max pointed it out.
“We should head back, I’m starving.”
Aria rose from the bale and wiped the hay from her pants. She followed them out of the stable, pleased by the amount of changes that had already been rendered. Most of the smoke and fire damaged buildings had been torn down and removed, there were already new homes and structures going up. There were smiles and friendly waves from the people and vampires surrounding them, and though complete trust and amicability still hadn’t been solidified, they were already making a good start on a world that Aria had never dreamed of living in.
The massive palace gates that had been battered beyond repair had been taken down. Though they would be replaced, they would also be left open as an invitation for everyone to move freely in and out of the palace town. Most of the blood draining facilities had been destroyed during the battle. The one that remained had been emptied of all devices used to bleed and torture humans and had been reopened as a donation center that seemed to be doing well. Or at least she hadn’t heard of any problems with it, and there were a few people standing outside waiting to go in as they passed by it.
She stayed close to Xavier as they traversed the streets toward the looming palace. The sight of it still caused an uneasy pit to form in her stomach but she was becoming better accustomed to the building. She was gradually finding her place within it, something she never would have thought possible even a week ago.
Tomorrow she’d stop hiding in the stables, she decided. Tomorrow she’d face what she’d been trying to hide from, a world without her father in it. She had to figure out a way to live again in this world without him. She had to figure out her place here, figure out where she fit in; she simply couldn’t avoid it anymore. She could be helpful, she would be helpful. It was what her father would expect of her and she wasn’t going to let him down.
Xavier and Max followed her up to her rooms. They usually ate dinner with her before retreating to their own rooms or going about whatever it was they did at night. William was already waiting for them with a large tray of food when they arrived. It was one of the few times during the day she had a chance to see her brother. He had taken to burying himself in rebuilding homes, even though he was still on crutches. She understood his desperate need not to think, she had the same feeling after all, but she missed him.
She hugged him before grabbing a plate and heaping it with food. She plopped onto the couch and began to eat with a gusto she hadn’t experienced in awhile. It felt good, for once she felt almost alive again, and she welcomed the sensation. “Did you know that this was once Pennsylvania?” Max asked.
“What is a Pennsylvania?” William demanded.
Xavier was more than happy to fill him in as Aria went back for seconds. She wondered if Braith would return to eat with them; most nights he and Daniel were here for dinner but sometimes they didn’t make it in time.
After dinner she retreated to the bedroom with the newest book she’d been reading. She was used to Braith being curled around her before she fell asleep, holding her as she cried, comforting her through her sorrow. After she’d stuffed herself to near bursting though, sleep had dragged her into its deep depths. Now, as the blankets were pulled back and the bedsprings creaked, she was awakened by the pressure of his weight on the mattress.
“Braith,” she whispered.
“Go back to sleep love.”
His arms wrapped around her. She nestled closer to him, pressing her back against his solid chest as her hand stroked over the hair on the corded muscles of his arms. She loved those arms, so different from hers, so protective and strong. Her heart began to hammer, her mouth was dry as a new type of hunger began to stir and awaken within her. She’d shut herself down to him before the war, denied them both because she’d thought she would be leaving, but after her time in the dungeon she knew that she’d been wrong. She didn’t know what would happen in the future, and in that moment she didn’t care, it didn’t matter. All that mattered, all they were guaranteed was the present, and she was going to start living in it.
She could barely catch her breath as something coiled within her belly and spread leisurely through her limbs. She rolled over, turning to face him. The light coming from the slightly open door of the bathroom was dim, but even so she could see the brightness of his gray eyes, the firm planes of his magnificent face and square jaw.
She was unmoving as his fingers traced over her cheeks, pressed briefly against her lips before slipping back to brush her hair aside. “You ate again.”
Her appetite hadn’t fully returned over the three weeks since she’d lost her father, but she’d started to put weight back on. Even the bite marks had faded to dark smudges upon her skin thanks to a daily dose of Braith’s blood. Though he still stubbornly, and annoyingly, refused to feed from her. “I did.”
She smiled as she rested her hand on his chest, pressing it flat against the solid wall of him. His flesh was warm and smooth beneath her palm as she slid it slowly down the length of him. His body stiffened, his muscles shifted and flexed subtly beneath her touch.
Her fingers slid unhurriedly back up his chest as she explored him. It fascinated her how different his body was than hers. From the wiry hair that brushed against her fingers, to the unyielding hardness of his body in areas that on her were supple and giving. He fascinated her in every imaginable way and she couldn’t get enough of him as her fingers slid lower. “Aria…”
She moved closer to him, pressing her breasts against his chest. Her skin prickled; even through her nightgown she could feel the warmth of his skin. She felt a strange urge to cry but she fought it back. If she started to cry now he wouldn’t allow this to continue. He would think it was out of grief that she was seeking him out, and perhaps a part of it was grief, but mostly it was because she loved him, she wanted to have this experience with him, and for once she craved something for them. Not for anyone else, but simply just for them.
“I love you Braith.”
“I love you too.”
Her lips were trembling as she pressed them briefly against his mouth. His hand enfolded hers. He pressed it flat to his chest, over the place where his heart would have beat, but even though it remained still she knew that his heart belonged to her. Then, he released her hand, slid his hand into her hair and kissed her with a tenderness that left her limp and desperate for so much more. His tongue slid into her mouth, the faint hint of spices assailed her as it brushed over the roof her mouth, and tasted her in long leisurely strokes that left her breathless. There were so many things out there that she was scared and uncertain of, but here and now, she had no uncertainty, no fear as he held and kissed her with a reverence that awed her.
His mouth was heated against her skin, his hands tender as he slid the nightgown from her. Goose bumps covered her body; electricity seemed to pulse through her as her nerve endings screamed for more. She could scarcely think; her mind was spinning as her entire being became solely focused on him and the pleasure he elicited with each stroke and passionate kiss. She wanted more, craved more, but she didn’t know what it was that she was craving. She only knew that she couldn’t seem to get close enough to him as her fingers curled into the carved muscles of his back.
Everything else fell away, she forgot about all the horrible events of the past month as every cell in her body became centered upon him. His hands slid over her skin in caressing strokes that left her trembling and weak. She tasted the salt of his sweat as she kissed his neck and jaw and savored in the press of his body against hers. His hungry gaze slid over her, but unlike before, when she would have felt insecure about her body, knowing that she was too thin, that she wasn’t experienced enough, she felt only love as fire lit his gaze and his mouth came back to hers.
“Are you sure?” His voice was hoarse, strained as his hand stilled upon her thigh.
Though she sensed the tension in him, and his passion for her, she knew that he would stop if she asked him to. She knew that he would pull away, that he would accept her decision, and continue to wait patiently for her. It only made her want him more. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
A low groan escaped him before he reclaimed her mouth and gently pressed her into the mattress. She was trembling and aching, lost in sensation as his hands awakened her to pleasures she’d never known could exist until he touched her.
When she was certain she couldn’t take anymore, certain that she would scream from the unfamiliar tension curling through her body, he moved over top of her. There was pain, but he eased it with soft kisses, and whispered words of love, as he waited for her to adjust to the new sensation of joining with him. He held her and stroked her with a reverence that made the pain ease and steadily rekindled her desire for him.
She could almost feel the bond encircling them, tightening around them and linking them together irrevocably. But it was more than the strange bloodlink that vampire’s experienced, it was deeper and stronger, it was a love so pure and right and true that she came to believe it could conquer anything. Even death.
Her body fractured, splintering apart as pleasure swamped her and she was taken into a realm of bliss she’d never known possible. His body trembled as he rolled to the side, pulling her against him as he encircled her within the steel band of his arms. This was it; this was where she had always belonged. There was no past anymore, not for him and not for her. There was only the present, only the here and now and she cherished every moment of it.
“I love you,” he whispered against her ear. She heard the vulnerability in his voice, the awe that more than matched her own.
“And I you.” His hands clasped her face and he kissed her trembling lips lightly.
The look on his face tore at her soul as he pressed his fingers against her lips. “I will love you until the end of days Aria; never doubt that for a moment.”
“I couldn’t possibly.” She traced the contours of his face before wrapping her hand around the back of his head and guiding it toward the hollow of her neck. “Please.”
He hesitated for a moment before biting down, she sighed with pleasure as they were once again joined together.