When I got back home, Jamie was gone. I’d spent a lot of time at the gun range and talking to Aaron, and then I’d stopped by some random bar I’d never been to and had three or four beers. Probably enough to register a DUI, but I was beyond caring. I wanted some weed, but it was too close to my fight to risk it being in my system, so I opted for going home and loading up on painkillers.

Jamie had never responded to my text from the night before, but at least he had my number. Just in case he needed me. Was it wrong that I hoped he would need me? That he would get himself into some situation and force me to go back on my decision to cut him loose? Hell, I still hadn’t decided for sure. The idea of giving him a suite in the Alcazar and visiting him in secret still held a lot of appeal, even though I knew it was risky.

Maybe his trip to New York would give him time to think everything through, and he would decide that making himself scarce while still waiting for me was something he wanted to do. It was going to be hell without him beside me in bed every night, but at least it was better than most of the alternatives. I thought about his job. The fact that he worked out of the Alcazar at the moment. Something would have to be done about that. I needed to get him another office, but I wasn’t sure where he would be. Georgia? With Cameron?

I knew it was childish to keep hanging onto my jealousy of Cameron, but the images Santori had shown me of the two of them together were burned into my memory forever. It had hurt so much seeing them getting cozy. Cameron kissing him up against his car, then stripping Jamie’s shirt off in the bedroom.

Ugh. God. Get out of my head. I scrubbed at my eyes as if that would do any good.

And what of Layla, the gorgeous but infuriating Mexi-bitch? Would Jamie want to get back with her if I wasn’t around? If he decided that’s what he wanted, it wouldn’t be difficult to make it happen. Layla seemed to like Trey a lot, but he was no Jamie Atwood. She would be stupid to pass up the opportunity to get Jamie back, and I could see it in her eyes every time she looked at him that she knew it, too.

No, Jamie probably didn’t need to go back there. I was trying to control the situation again, but fuck it. The compulsion was too strong to ignore. Maybe I could get him a place in Vegas. An apartment and an office, or an apartment with an office. He seemed to really enjoy getting out of the apartment to go to work, saying that it motivated him and made him feel legit, so it would definitely need to be both. Of course, I could always just give him money, which I planned to do anyway, but money wouldn’t ensure that he stayed close by. He could take the money I gave him and do like I once suggested—buy a house on the golf course for him and Cameron. Jesus, that would burn me up inside.

By the time the three hydrocodone pills I’d taken started to kick in, I was nearly crazy with worry. My plans for Jamie had gotten increasingly nonsensical, and in the end I had circled back to keeping him with me and telling Theo to go fuck himself.

I don’t know when I got up off of the sofa and moved to bed, but that’s where I woke up the next morning with a killer case of cotton mouth and about two gallons of pee in my bladder. After I got myself presentable, I decided to go downstairs and be the boss for a change. I’d been MIA for days, and I needed to at least make an appearance and remind everyone who was in charge.

Steve was still upset with me. I could tell because his usual incessant banter was absent. He was distant and cool, and I wondered if he and Jamie had been talking. If he knew I’d tried to break up with him. I say tried because I had no idea if I’d succeeded or failed at it. He’d said we would talk when he got back, so I guess I’d find out then.

“How’s Jamie?” I asked Steve finally. I leaned against the front desk and watched for signs of hostility in his expression, but he seemed resigned.

“Fine. He called me at noon and told me a little about what’s going on. He’d already talked to some fighters and gotten some pictures. Seems like he’s having a really good time.”

I got the feeling the implication was that Jamie was having a good time despite me being an asshole.

“That’s good,” I said. “Did he send you any of the pictures?”

“Why don’t you look on his blog if you want to know what he’s up to? I check it every day. He incorporates a lot of humor into his articles, and it’s really entertaining even if you’re like me and know nothing about fighting.”

Okay, that made me feel as bad as I’m sure Steve had intended. Why hadn’t I been following Jamie’s blog? I paid for it, but was that really enough? I should have been a more supportive partner. I’d just been so preoccupied with other shit I hadn’t noticed I wasn’t giving enough. On the other hand, Jamie had helped me every step of the way with the spa and with anything else he could.

“Have you finished choosing decorations for the spa?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

Steve sniffed. “Decorations? You make it sound like we’re using Christmas lights and streamers.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, and you know it. Hell, I don’t know design speak.”

“If you want to see my plans, come take a look.”

He led me over to the nearly-finished spa, which I’d already checked out when I first came down. All of the basic structural things were done. The sheetrock was up and painted. Flooring and wall tiles in pale shades of salmon, sand, and dusty blue had been installed, as had crystal chandeliers and high-end cabinetry. There was a good bit left to do, but it was actually beginning to look like a spa rather than a construction zone. It was breathtaking.

Steve brought out a thick scrapbook in which he had collected tons of samples. Paint chips, flooring, furniture... All manner of things that would eventually come together to create the finished look. He showed me everything from massage tables to sunken tubs. He’d even chosen a sound system so that soothing music could be piped in.

“Wow, you’ve really taken this seriously,” I said, genuinely impressed. “It’s going to be gorgeous. In fact, it already is gorgeous.”

“And you thought I was going to make it look like what? A unicorn pooped glitter or something?”

“I think I told you I didn’t want it to look like it was decorated by a unicorn with a Bedazzler, but please accept my apologies for ever doubting you. This looks absolutely amazing. I never would have thought to mix these colors. And the chandeliers are a nice touch. It’s opulent but relaxing at the same time. Damn fine job.” I patted him awkwardly on the back.

“You don’t think I spent too much, do you?”

“To be honest, I barely glanced at the proposals before I signed them and sent them back. I wanted no expense spared for this thing, and despite the fact that I mentioned unicorns and Bedazzlers, I really trust you when it comes down to it. I just enjoy giving you a hard time.”

“What is this, bonding time?” The angle of Steve’s brow said he thought I was full of shit.

“No, it’s Kage-being-grateful time. Now stop giving me grief.”

“Fine. I’m glad you like the job I’m doing for you.” Still so formal. He was really fucking pissed.

“You know, something occurred to me concerning you and this spa, and I wanted to get your opinion on it.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“How would you feel about getting away from that front desk and managing the spa instead?”

His eyes stretched to the size of softballs. “Don’t tease me, Kage. Are you serious?” When I nodded, he said, “Hell yeah I’d like to manage it. Does that mean more money?”

“Of course. I haven’t worked up the numbers yet, but you would be making significantly more money. It’s time you got a raise and a promotion, and I can see how much you love working with the spa.”

“But do you think I’m qualified? I mean I don’t want to talk you out of it, but I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Had you ever done interior design before?”

“Well, no. Not for money. Just decorated a little for friends and family. But I watch design shows all the time, and I guess I just picked it up.”

“Then you shouldn’t have any problem learning the skills needed to run the place you decorated. We’ll get you some classes. There must be some resources online to help you learn how to run a spa. Let me know what you find, and we’ll get you trained up. This is something new to all of us, and there’s going to be a learning curve. I know I could advertise for a manager with experience, but I’d rather give the job to you. Why don’t you take a little time to think about it before you decide?”

“No,” Steve blurted. “I don’t need to think about it. I just need to get busy figuring out how to do it. Oh, my God, I swear you will not regret this.”

I smiled and looked around the new spa again. “I know I won’t. And I’m giving you a bonus for the design work you’ve already done. I’ll go right now and make sure they get it into your next paycheck.”

Steve touched a hand to his chest and blinked away tears of joy. “You might be a complete and total asshole right now because of the way you’re treating Jamie, but I love you anyway.” He threw his arms around me and tried to squeeze me to death.

I was suddenly all too aware of the gun—Gen 4 Glock 19, I reminded myself—concealed in the holster at my waist. What had Aaron called that position? Appendix carry. Hell, yeah, I was learning. I was also noticing how much more powerful I felt with a gun strapped to me.

Steve backed away from me and glanced at my waist. Right at my gun. I could see the suspicion written all over his face, but he didn’t call me out on it. He just took a deep breath and changed the subject back to the one thing I didn’t want to discuss.

“Now about Jamie. You need to set things right, Kage. I know you love him, and he’s insane over you. Trying to get along with your uncle’s business partner is one thing, but when you let it ruin the only real relationship you’ve ever had… Well, that’s just tragic. I know how you feel about that boy. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at him. You were so different before you met him. I can’t believe you’d let go of that happiness just to please someone else, let alone someone you just met.”

I ran a hand through my hair and wished I could teleport out of there. “You don’t understand the whole story, Steve, and I’m not at liberty to share it with you. Just know that I love Jamie more than my own life. I would die for him, okay? I would actually die for him, and that’s all you need to know. Conversation over.”

I left Steve with his mouth hanging open. Let him chew on that for a while. I was done wasting time trying to explain myself to people who couldn’t possibly understand.