Kalix stretched, rubbing the heels of his hands deeply against his eyes. He was exhausted, but his mate was even more so.

He left the small communications cubicle in their quarters and went back to find her in exactly the same spot he had left her in, deeply asleep, curled on her side with her hair spread wildly around her shoulders.

Her lips were shiny and swollen from his kisses, her cheeks flushed with warmth, with bruises of fatigue beneath the golden fringe of her lashes.

They had spent two full days and one night inside their little tent on S9, locked around one another, lost to the frenzy of their breeding heat.

They had stopped only to eat and relieve themselves, and once Kalix had been able to talk Alec into returning to the spring to soak in the heated pools.

The hot water had helped, but as much as his body still ached, he knew Alec had to feel even worse. She didn’t complain, and she hadn’t refused him this morning after he had brought her aboard the ship and tumbled her down into the bed.

They were on their way back to S1, back home, and in two days’ time Kalix was to appear at the citadel for the meeting Tarek called to officially assign him the task of governing S6.

Records Keepers were waiting to be chosen to accompany him and Alec and anyone else who chose to go with them.

He carefully reached out and picked up a tight curl where it had fallen against her cheek, smiling crookedly when she frowned in her sleep and burrowed deeper into the blankets.

Something else had happened to his mate during their heat. There had been an infinitesimal moment that passed between them, Alec had been in his lap, her arms and legs wrapped around him, their heat having faded to a dull burn and allowing them a slower, sweeter, more intimate coupling.

Their thoughts and been as deeply connected as their bodies, not a single emotion barred from one another. Kalix had seen her heart, naked and vulnerable in her gaze.

There had been no way for him to mistake the gaping wound left behind, the deep gouges of grief carved deep into her soul created by the loss of her sister.

He could ever truly heal make such pain go away, but she let him in enough to see it. The scars that had hardened her heart, the anger she used to keep herself from drowning in her grief, he had felt it soften. Felt her subconscious decision to trust him with everything she was. To give all of herself and hold nothing back.

Kneeling beside her now, he swore he would do everything in his power to ensure he never gave her cause to regret it.

Though, from the way she glared at him several hours later as they disembarked and she moved down the ramp with extremely purposeful steps, she was at the very least regretting to have been so accommodating to him this morning.

~It would be my pleasure to carry you to medical for a healing session within the regeneration gel.

~I think you’ve had enough pleasure.

~More than I ever thought possible. He sobered when she started to climb the stairs of the citadel and winced. You’re hurting, let me carry you.

Alec snorted at him, refusing his care with a proud lift of her chin. ~I’m fine. I don’t think I’ll walk right for a year, but I’m fine.

She softened her refusal by taking his hand, giving it a squeeze. Kalix sensed there was something more to her refusal than just pride, but when he thought to ask, he realized they were no longer alone.

Ke’denn, Vale, Garak, Ra’ten and their mates had joined them and were following up to the wing of the Asho’s fortress reserved for the hybrid humans and their mates.

Understanding dawned in an instant; his mate did not want to show weakness to those who had once looked to her for leadership, and to an extent, still did.

It was the only reason he waited until they were out of sight and walking down the corridor to their quarters before he picked Alec up and carried her the rest of the way.

~Kalix, I said I’m fine. Let me go—

~Never. There is no one watching. No one will know you have been fucked like a rabbit.

Alec tried to maintain a straight face, but failed almost immediately and broke into a round of giggles muffled against his shoulder.

She was still laughing, clinging to the side of the bathing pool some time later, sensuously eyeing him as he came toward her with a tray of food and the tubes of regeneration gel he asked Ne’tare for.

The food he set near her elbow, enjoying how her eyes heated while she watched him disrobe and climb into the water with her. She sighed, her skin visibly prickling under the touch of his lips against her nape.

She groaned in playful agony. “Kalix, I don’t think I can take any more—”

“I know. I only mean to ease your hurts. Turn around.” She obeyed, sighing into his kiss, draping her arms around his shoulders and rising up on her toes to press herself tightly against him.

Kalix knew if he pushed, she would let him take her again, and he certainly wanted to. Three consecutive days of breeding hadn’t satiated his need for his mate.

He was uncertain if the desire to physically possess her, to mark her over and over, to hear her moan and scream as he filled her with his seed, would ever be sated.

But now, his mate had a different need he could fill. She gave a little squeal of surprise when he lifted her up and sat her back on the cool floor, right on the edge with her legs dangling in the water.

“Kalix, what are you doing?” she wobbled, leaning back to keep herself from falling, biting into her lip when he spread her thighs and placed a soft kiss against her curls.

He kissed the swollen lips of her pussy, licking delicately, needing just a little taste to tide him over. Her thighs quivered against his cheeks, the scent of her discomfort overpowering the sweeter notes of her arousal, but she spread her legs wider in invitation anyway.

“Later, love,” he promised, looking up when she laughed again.

“Are you making promises to my vagina?” Her bright eyes sparkled with amusement, blushing hotly when he gave her one last lick.

“No. Well, I suppose so. This will feel good, I promise.” He reached for one of the tubes of pink gel, squirting some onto his fingers to coat the outside, more on his thumb so he could stroke it over her tender opening, lubricating her abused tissues before pressing the tube up inside her and depressing the plunger to liberally coat the inside of her with the soothing ointment.

“Ohmigod, that’s cold!” she yelped, wiggling to press her thighs together.

Kalix pressed his hand to her belly, wedging her knees open so he could smooth more of the gel to the tendons of her inner thighs.

“Sit still, give it a moment.”

“You just shoved an icicle up my... ho... oh. Oh wow.” Her accusatory tone changed to a murmur of relief.

Her muscles unknotting one at a time until she slowly lay back on the cool stone floor and went limp, humming and moaning while he continued to massage the gel into her legs. He even reached up to smear some on the reddened peaks of her nipples.

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Ne’tare gave me enough gel for several more treatments. If you aren’t recovered by tomorrow morning, I will contact Ga’rae for use of a submersion chamber.”

“Mm. Feel better already. Thank you.”

“Of course. Hungry?”

“In a minute. What does Asha’na mean?”

Kalix paused in the process of kissing the inside of Alec’s knee, frowning as he glanced up the lovely line of her body.

“It is the title given to those in line to become pride rulers. Currently, it is the title of T’mai’s mate. He would be called, Asha, and she Asha’na. Why do you ask?”

“Huh? Ra’ten called me that after our little disagreement.”

Kalix blinked in absolute shock. “He did?”

“Mm hm.”

He wondered what she could possibly have done to cause Ra’ten to use that specific term, forgetting for a moment how powerful a female his mate was.

“You forced his beast to the surface.”

Alec gave a disgruntled grimace. “He got in my face about the inadequacy of the shelter we built, ordering my girls around like he had the right, so I jumped on him, took him down, and let my beast convince him it was in his best interest to shut the fuck up,” she said around a yawn.

“I still wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, not until he tells me why he has such a problem with me. I mean, I know there’s no possible way every single person I meet will find me pleasant to be around.

“I’m not exactly known for my sweet nature, this was different. He gave me his throat, I dealt with it, and it’s done. Will I have to make another confession to Tarek?”

Kalix rubbed his cheek over the softness of his mate’s belly, staring blindly at the wall while she stroked her fingers through his mane.

He was careful to conceal his fury from her, assuring her there was no reason for concern at this time.

She mumbled back at him drowsily, and a few moments later Alec fell asleep right there on the bathing room floor.

*****

The meeting of commanders could not have gone better.

Each warrior or mated pair inside the close meeting room had supported Tarek’s proposal and seemed genuinely eager to be part of the solution to eradicate the Original Council and its conspirators.

There had been much conversation, discussion about how this could and would be accomplished, but for the most part Alec kept her silence and chose to listen.

There were fourteen commanders in total, Tarek made fifteen, and each of the corresponding warship commanders had been present either in person or through holo-com to get the update on their new orders.

Two were mated Sarazen pairs, six were human hybrid and Sarazen mates, like she and Kalix, and the remaining six were single warriors who had not yet called a mate.

The meeting room had been the most highly secured in the entire citadel, second only to the Asho’s private quarters.

That meant they had been sealed inside the vault like chamber, and if he would have reached his hand up, Kalix could have touched the ceiling.

The process took all damned day, and by the time the meeting was concluded and everyone clear on their assignments, Alec couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Alec was looking forward to the open air shuttle ride back to the forest fortress, because the lungfuls of air she got in the open hallways didn’t seem like enough.

Alec was eager to get back to the forest and out of this cavernous citadel. She’d have run the whole way back home if it hadn’t been so far away.

She would meet with her own people tomorrow, and they would have time to discuss the changes with everyone at the fortress, then board the warship transporting those who chose to come from S1 to S6.

Clary suggested Alec and Kalix go explore their new home, explore their bond, but Alec wasn’t sure it was a good idea.

Taking the time to selfishly indulge themselves sounded wonderful, but the fighter in Alec knew there were people who would be very unhappy with Kalix’s appointment and take every opportunity to infiltrate and destroy Tarek’s plans for the future of the pride.

With the challenges Kalix would have to answer, settling into the new command and dealing with getting everything established, they didn’t have time to waste.

She wasn’t concerned about the fight ahead. It felt good actually to have a purpose, something to do that didn’t give her so much time to miss her sister.

Alec was concerned about having the children on a prison planet. They weren’t the average children, all of them self-sufficient and knowledgeable on how to deal with danger, but if she was being honest, Alec wanted them to find some semblance of a childhood. Something she hadn’t been able to offer them on Moika.

In the forest, despite Zhenya’s insistence they all still run each morning and do their drills, they were thriving. Playing, laughing, running around loving life.

Moving them to a world where her own future was uncertain, Alec hadn’t yet been able to decide if that was in their best interest or not. It warranted a major discussion between her people and their respective mates.

“Alec, is there a reason you’re almost running down the hallway?”

Alec stopped, took a deep breath and turned to find Clary with a toddler on her hip, and one at her feet.

The gut wrenching jealousy was almost instant, the guilt for feeling jealous following just as fast, and there was nothing Alec could do about it.

The babies were beautiful, tiny replicas of their parents, more focused and aware than Alec recalled any of the toddlers she’d handled over the course of her life.

They seemed older than two years, so much older, staring at her like they could read her mind.

“Alec?” Clary repeated, shifting her daughter higher up her hip.

“Sorry. Just left the meeting. Have you been in there? The ceilings are so low.” Alec waved her hand back in the direction she’d come, wondering where the hell Kalix was, and how much of a wuss he would think she was if she asked him to come rescue her from babies.

It was ridiculous to be terrified of such tiny things, wasn’t it?

Ne’tare wasn’t very far behind Clary, his eyes watchful and far too knowledgeable, smiling when Clary’s little boy closed the distance between them, staring up at her with his mother’s eyes as he hugged his chubby little arms around Alec’s calf.

“He likes you.” Clary hummed, beaming proudly at her son.

Alec swallowed so hard it felt like she had rocks stuffed down her throat. “Did you clone yourself?”

“I wonder that myself sometimes. Can I ask what it is about my kids that makes you so uncomfortable?”

Alec had kept her hands behind her back, knowing there were guards around here somewhere who would leap out to rescue the kid clinging to her at the slightest hint of her doing something they disapproved of. Heirs to the kingdom and everything.

Clary wasn’t upset, she didn’t seem angry, not worried about her baby at all, just curious and concerned.

The boy gave her an adorable grin and set his chin on her knee, purring the sweetest little sound.

Tristan was such a happy thing, not a single shadow to mar the innocence in his bright green eyes. Staring down at him, Alec knew she could lie and say nothing at all bothered her, but this was Clary.

Sage’s Clary.

“I’m jealous.”

Clary laughed kindly, “You know the second you tell Kalix you’re ready for a baby, he’ll be all over making that happen as soon as possible.”

Tristan bounced, tugging on her to keep his balance as he giggled. It was impossible not to smile back at him, remembering that same look in Meg’s eyes when they were young. Innocence.

Tristan hadn’t ever been afraid of his father. He wouldn’t ever what it felt like to curl around his sister and whisper promises to protect her, terrified if he spoke louder than that he would be dragged from the warmth of his bed and beaten for no reason.

His mother was a strong, kind woman. His dad a king, a warrior who cradled his children in hands powerful enough to rip the heads off of his enemies.

Tristan and Lyrala were utterly adored, and Alec was a complete bitch for being jealous of them for it. 

“No doubt. But that’s not what I meant. I um... it’s hard to be around them and not think of Meg. Or your mom, actually. It’s stupid. I’ve been around kids my whole life, but—”

Clary interrupted her with a compassionate sound, the gentleness in her voice almost the push Alec needed to go over the edge.

“It’s not stupid, Alec. Not at all.”

Alec took a deep breath, the unmistakable scent of Kalix filling her lungs moments before his hand slid across her back.

She couldn’t help but quiver, his strength and absolute understanding flooding her with relief.

She heard him greet Clary and Ne’tare both, then he was suddenly howling in mock agony, flinging himself to the floor when Tristan pounced on his foot with a snarl, going down right there in the hallway to let the kid think he was doing major damage.

It was painfully adorable to watch her seven and a half foot tall mate, rolling around on the ground while Tristan bounced on his thigh, growling and giving vicious baby giggles as he ‘conquered’ the warrior.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Tarek coming down the hallway. Tearing her gaze away from Kalix and the baby, she saw the pride ruler’s lips quirked up ever so slightly as he came to a stop beside his offspring.

Tarek gave a low, animalistic chuff, which made Tristan’s attention zoom up, grinning proudly at his father like, ‘Look at me, dad! I got him!’ before he thrust his arms up in an unmistakable demand to be picked up.

Tristan squealed in delight when Tarek bent and scooped him up, chortling away the whole time.

Tarek’s golden gaze was warm, though his expression was stern when he looked down at Kalix.

“Do you accept defeat, Commander?”

Kalix very seriously ceded, grinning when his hand met Tarek’s in a loud clap, bouncing up gracefully to his feet as he proclaimed Tristan to be a mighty little beast. Tarek visibly melted when his daughter loudly demanded he pay her equal attention.

“Da! Uppie, now!”

Without hesitation, Tarek opened his arm to his daughter and brought her up to his shoulder. Lyrala snuggled down and stuck her thumb in her mouth, smiling around it when Tarek purred in her ear.

With her arms free, Clary wrapped Alec up in a tight hug, wished them safe travels, and soon Alec stood alone with Kalix in the hallway.

“Ready to go?” he murmured at her shoulder, his arm strong and steady around her waist.

“Absolutely.”

*****

It was late, dawn was hours away, which meant the stars were out in force above her. Despite Kalix’s heroic effort to pleasure her into a coma, Alec found herself unable to sleep.

As much as she hated the forest, the smell of it was familiar, almost relaxing. She was sitting on the wide ledge of her balcony wall, her chin set on her knees while she watched the heavens revolving slowly overhead.

In a few days, the sky would look completely different. It would smell different, feel different—

You won’t be alone, Alec. Not ever again.

Alec couldn’t help the pained gasp, or the immediate rush of tears that welled in her eyes. So it wasn’t just being trapped inside a mountain that made her crazy.

Even out here in the fresh air, she was hearing Meg’s voice as though she’d spoken right in Alec’s ear.

I already told you, you’re not crazy.

Right. Because hearing your dead sister’s voice was totally normal.

You speak telepathically to gigantic shapeshifting alien, but talking to your sister is beyond belief?

“Alec?” 

And there he is! He gets sexier every time I see him.

“What are you doing out here?”

Alec hadn’t realized she was cold until Kalix stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

She pulled in as much air as she could, curling her hands around his thick wrists, wondering if Meg was haunting her for having failed to keep her safe, or if she was some kind of guardian angel.

Definitely an angel.

“Alec?”

She blinked, feeling a little pop, like someone had just clapped their hands inside her head.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Kalix picked her up off the ledge and carried her back inside to their bed, crouching down in front of her. He ran his hands all over her, his brow furrowed with concern.

“I feel such sorrow from you, mate. Why?”

“You were really good with Tristan.” Her answer made Kalix frown even harder, rubbing his thumbs into her palms before raising them to his cheeks, his beard rasping against her fingertips.

“This makes you sad? If he had pounced on any of the warriors, they would have done the same. It gives the cubs confidence.”

“I can see why. It just... it made me think of Meg, that’s all. I’m alright. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Kalix didn’t look like he was convinced, but he didn’t fight her when she lay back on the bed and tugged on his hands to get him to come with.

He crawled in after her, curling himself around her so tightly there was no chance of her feeling any sort of chill at all.

I’m here, Alec. Even if you can’t see me, I’m with you.

Was it Alec’s imagination, Kalix’s breath, or a brush of wind that made it feel like a lock of hair had just been stroked from her cheek?

Whatever it was, she fell asleep almost instantly with that last whisper of her sister’s voice settling like a warm brand in her chest.

*****

Kalix was off on one last errand, the kids were packing up the things they wished to take with them to S6, and Alec had just finished rolling up her fur rugs.

The fortress buzzed with activity, warriors preparing for their new assignments, mates gathering their belongings.

She still reeled with the number of her people who had voluntarily chosen to relocate to S6 with her and Kalix. Alec would have thought given a chance to be free of her, they would have chosen to stay here.

Alec had hoped Zhenya would have wanted to go with her, but every single one of the children had put their hands in the air and stubbornly refused to stay behind.

Overwhelmed by their support, she still wasn’t sure what to think. A knock on her door drew her out of her thoughts.

“Yes?” The very last person Alec expected, opened the door and walked in. “Emma?”

In a pretty pink gown, Emma looked like a blonde fairy tale princess. Petite, rosy cheeked, and if her sour expression was anything to go by, pissed off.

“Ra’ten and I won’t be joining you in the morning.”

Confused why Emma felt she had to deliver the news herself, like it was a surprise when she hadn’t been quiet about her dislike of living on a prison planet, Alec frowned slightly.

“Alright. I’m sure you’ll be happy here.”

“Will we? I’m not so sure, since it seems you and your mate seem intent on making life miserable for us.” Emma’s pretty face twisted with her ugly accusation.

Alec blinked, letting her brows slide up slowly. “I beg your pardon?”

“Ra’ten is a higher ranked warrior, but was passed over when Kalix chose who would take command of the fortress here.

“When Ra’ten asked Kalix why Danika’s mate got the promotion, he said it’s because you don’t trust Ra’ten. You’re sabotaging my mate, humiliating him because of your own issues, and it’s bullshit! You owe me, Alec!”

“I... owe you.” Alec repeated slowly, putting her satchel down to face the irate woman. “What exactly is it that I owe you, Emma?”

Emma stomped her foot like a child. She was beautiful, even when she started to cry angry tears. Alec hadn’t ever seen this side of Emma before, but somehow she wasn’t surprised.

“You murdered my father!”

Ah. So her suspicions had been correct. “Did I?”

“I was there! You cut off his head and made everyone watch when you set his body on fire!”

“I remember things a little differently.” Alec advanced on Emma, hands behind her back to keep them from slashing at the petulant brat’s face. “I remember your father having gotten infected, only you didn’t tell anyone.

“You kept him hidden in one of the old supply containers for eight days before your brother found him and let him out.

“Your infected, crazed father was so desperate for water, he broke your brother’s neck and had almost reached our last clean water source before I stopped him.

“I didn’t let him suffer for days instead of giving him a quick, painless death. I didn’t hunt your father down and murder him.

“I took his head as quickly as possible and burned his body while our people watched on in respect, in support of your loss, to make sure the monsters ready to burst out of his veins didn’t hatch and grow up to kill more of us.

“You could have given your dad peace, any one of you could have given your infected family members peace. Instead, you let me do it.

“You asked me, and even while you hated me for it, not a single one of you stepped up to take my place.

“Eight hundred and twenty four of our people, Emma, that’s how many were infected by the Scylla. I remember every single face, every name.

“I did the only thing I could to save the rest of us, and not once did anyone else offer to shoulder that weight.”

The words came faster and faster, and so did the release of a terrible burden. The guilt that had bogged her down for so many years slowly but surely began to evaporate.

“You might hate me, you might blame me, but I owe you dick, Emma. I don’t owe any of you. I did my duty and we survived.

“As for Ra’ten, I didn’t have shit to do with his demotion. I had no idea Kalix had spoken to him, but I respect his decision and wouldn’t go behind his back to change it because I had a personal issue with a subordinate.

“Clearly, you’ll be much happier here away from me and my murderous ways, so quit your bitching and go live your life. You owe me that.”

Tears spilling down her cheeks, Emma spun on her heel and marched out the door without another word.

Alec walked slowly out onto the balcony, hugging herself as she stared up at the star studded sky.

They shimmered down on her, and Alec couldn’t help but think of the story Kalix had told her about his ancestors and he stars.

She knew it was just a pretty story, but tonight it comforted her. She counted out eight hundred and twenty four stars, imagining their shine was actually the souls of her people, offering her light to show her the way home.

She breathed in and let herself believe the words that had poured out of her in the wake of Emma’s ridiculous accusation.

It was the biggest load of shit I ever heard. You saved us. All of us.

It didn’t hurt so much this time to hear Meg’s voice. It actually almost made her smile.

“This is the second night I have come to find you here, mate. I begin to wonder perhaps if you truly would prefer to stay.” Kalix’s voice wrapped around her, every bit as warm as his arms.

“No, I’m ready to go.”

Kalix touched a kiss to her throat. “Not without this.”

He opened his hand, and a shining white rope lay coiled on his palm with two tiny familiar blue jewels dangling at the end.

Alec felt her throat constrict, the heat burning all the way up to sear her eyes and blur her vision with tears.

“My bracelet.”

“I realized you had lost it the day of your first shift.”

Alec cupped her hands around his large, scarred palm, the length of her sister’s hair nestled between them.

“Is that where you’ve been all afternoon? Looking for this?”

“Yes. I don’t believe it is damaged in any way, and I washed it with enzyme to remove any debris. I couldn’t in good conscience let you leave without it.”

It had been a thought in the back of her mind, every day since her first traumatically emotional shift.

A hurt she thought she had harbored in secret, her heart twisting each time she saw its twin around Zhenya’s wrist, imagining the bright strands of hers frayed and deteriorating in the wet grass somewhere in that misty valley.

Perhaps being picked up by birds to make their nests, the blue crystals buried in the mud as time and rain pushed the dirt around.

Now here it was, coiled in Kalix’s palm because he had gone and hunted it down for her, knowing how much it mattered to her.

He carefully wrapped it around her wrist, ensuring the braid lay just so, looping the catch together.

For a long time, Alec didn’t know what to say. Bombarded with a multitude of emotions, it took her breathless moments to realize what it was that so overwhelmed her.

Happiness. Alec was happy.

There was only the smallest tinge of sadness, but not enough to make even a dent. She turned around and looked up at her mate, at the gentle smile in his eyes.

She had a momentary thought it was his happiness she was experiencing, but she was alone in her own head.

His scent was rich with satisfaction, the smell of the misty moors he had been born to clung to his skin when she went up on her toes to rub her cheek against his.

He ducked his head and purred for her, a sound she realized he never made for anyone else, or around anyone else. Only for her.

Alec sighed, her muscles giving up the last bit of stubborn tension as she herself gave in. He must have felt it, or maybe could smell her surrender, because even as she relaxed, the tension in his body ratcheted up higher.

~What is it, love?

His voice swept through her mind, a seeking ripple of awareness. Alec savored the way it felt, allowing her head to fall back so she could look up at him.

His rough hands cradled her cheeks, his thumbs moving tenderly back and forth just beneath her eyes.

His brow wrinkled with his frown, the only Sarazen she had seen who looked anything other than ageless, and Alec couldn’t help but think the imperfections made Kalix seem that much sexier.

She thought about his question, considering perhaps what she was feeling wasn’t as simple as happiness. It felt like more, a deeper burn, hotter than her anger.

Was it love?

The prospect was a little terrifying, but it was silly to be afraid of something that had no teeth, no claws or desire to maim her.

Screwed up as she was, Alec knew love was supposed to be a good thing, not something to fight. There were other, far more dangerous things to fight.

~Yes. I think so.

She could tell her response confused him, but she didn’t give him the chance to think about it for long. Alec wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hopped up to hitch her thighs around his hips, grinning at the surprise, the pleasure that darkened his eyes.

Alec clung to him, secure in the knowledge he wouldn’t ever drop her, and kissed her mate under the stars.

~Everything is packed except for our bedding. We don’t have to be anywhere else until tomorrow morning.

Alec barely finished the thought before Kalix turned and carried her back to their bed. She knew she would be exhausted, but knew it would be more than worth it.

She could sleep on the shuttle.