Ten
He looped around the perimeter of the territory, stalking through the woods, wanting to be with Nina. Fuck it all. He didn’t know how he was going to keep resisting the siren call of those hazel eyes, or the way her hair fell down her back in waves, all jumbled and wild. He bet she looked amazing right after a run, just shifted back to human, with dirt on her skin and leaves in her hair. He bet she looked like a poem in the woods.
He bet he needed to stop thinking about her this way before he snapped and made the mistake of kissing her. No doubt about it—it would be a mistake.
But how could it be a mistake? a voice inside of him asked. If they both wanted to be together, that would be a good thing, right?
It was time to go to work. Instead of watching her from the forest like he really wanted to do, he headed back to his cabin.
Halfway back, he smelled Jake before he saw him. Halting in place, he stared hard in Jake’s direction. “Well?” he said.
Jake stepped forward. “I have a grievance.”
Repressing a snort, Jameson said, “Of course you do.”
“The lion’s got to go.”
“Yeah?” Jameson said. “Why’s that?”
“I don’t want her here. Erena doesn’t want her here. Nolan doesn’t even want her here.”
“Was Nolan involved in vandalizing her truck?” Jameson asked sharply.
“No.”
Truth. Jameson exhaled. Stooping to vandalism didn’t seem Nolan’s style, but Nolan had been especially gruff and standoffish since Nina had arrived.
It was easy to see why Jake didn’t want her here—Nina wouldn’t give Jake the time of day. And Erena wanted Nina to leave because Jake was interested in her. Snide, petty reasons. How had his clan gotten so out of control?
“Her stay is temporary,” Jameson said.
It hurt to say it out loud.
Satisfied with the honesty ringing in Jameson’s words, Jake nodded once, then turned and blended back into the forest.
Jameson had never really liked Jake, but this was the first time he actively despised him. Jake wanted Nina gone—someone who was full of goodness and strength. It made Jameson want to rip into Jake, make him bleed. But he had better control of his grizzly than that. After reaching his cabin, Jameson showered and changed into his professor clothes. Khaki pants, button-up shirt. Respectable clothes that hid the bear and his savage urgings from sight.
*
The lecture wasn’t as good as other versions he’d given in the past. He was distracted. His thoughts kept returning to Nina. But when he started the discussion of a Brenda Hillman poem about loving the wounds of one’s partner, he felt…rejuvenated, was the only word for it. He felt like there was more sense in these poems than there had been in a long time.
“Whatever touched you, whatever got in the way,” he read, “I loved that too…”
Some of his students sat up and scribbled down the lines into notebooks or typed them into devices. He finished, “My horizontalness, your verticality.”
A Poetry 101 class wasn’t the place to go into a lot of detail about each poem, but he found himself wanting to talk about it with someone. Even after class, when the students had shuffled out and Jameson had office hours, he waited in his chair, hoping a student would come in and ask to speak more about the Hillman poem.
Nobody seemed interested in discussing lyric poets who experimented with form, and Jameson instead reviewed his notes for his next class.
Five minutes before the end of office hours, a knock sounded on the door jamb. He started to ask who it was, but then her dusty, floral scent reached his nose.
“Nina?”
She stepped inside. She wore tight, skinny jeans that holy fuck made her legs look long and perfect. Her top was a gray scoop-neck tee, and her long mane of hair was pulled to one side, coming over her shoulder.
“Hey,” she said, “is this a bad time?”
There was only one reason she would search him out here—he’d driven her off. She was coming to say goodbye. He knew he should be happy about this, but all he could feel was a giant ball of disappointed rocks sliding down his throat, through his heart, and hollowing out a space in his chest.
“Of course not,” he said. “Come on in.”
Stay calm, keep it together.
“So,” she said, and paused.
“You don’t have to go,” he said, taking advantage of her hesitation. “I’d already decided you don’t need to do chores anymore—at least, no more than the other clan members. You’ve had your truck damaged, and that doesn’t sit well with me. But we’ll get Phil a new paint job, and I hope you don’t feel unwelcome.”
She smiled. “That wasn’t it at all. I wanted to find out what the hell is going on—why do you avoid me all the time?”
“What?”
“See, I wanted to follow you,” she said, “but I held back. I thought, if he doesn’t want to talk to me, then whatever. I’m not going to be the one chasing someone anymore—it didn’t work out so well last time. But then I got to thinking, what the hell do I have to lose? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.”
He opened his mouth, but he didn’t know what to say.
“So,” she prompted, “what the hell? Why do you avoid me? No running off into the forest here, so it’s the best place to talk it out. Did I do something to offend you?”
“Uhh…” She’d gotten his tongue. The fucking cat had gotten his fucking tongue. “You didn’t do anything,” he finally said.
Those wide hazel eyes were curious, open, seeing all of him. “And is there a reason you leave all the time? What is it?”
He glanced at the clock. His next class started in fifteen minutes. He could walk there in ten, but he didn’t know how to do this, how to have this conversation.
“There’s just some old stuff in my past,” he said. “You don’t need to worry about it. I’m not trying to be an asshole—I mean, a jerk.” Already he was letting his two worlds collide—the rough one of the clan, the polished one of his profession. He needed to keep things straight. His linguistic register was one thing while he worked, and quite another when he was talking to the clan. “Look, this really isn’t a good time or place to be discussing this.”
“Sure,” she said. “Right. I just…I can never pin you down when we’re at the Ring of Fire, so I thought maybe I’d try to pin you down here.”
Oh, if anyone were pinning someone, he’d be pinning her. Against the wall over there next to the large rickety bookcase, or maybe over his desk. Images swam in his mind, most of them involving Nina naked and shouting for more, harder.
He squirmed slightly in his seat, straightening his leg to make more room for his hardening cock.
“Look,” he said, “I really gotta get going. I have another class to teach on the other side of campus.”
She peered at him across his desk, then stood up and leaned both of her hands on it, bending forward slightly. He had a glimpse straight into the scoop neck of her t-shirt.
Her bra was hot pink.
He thought maybe he’d die right then. And he’d die happy.
“Great,” she said. “So next time I see you at the Ring of Fire, you’re not going to act like a douche anymore, right?”
“Woman, are you telling me how to act in my own clan, when I’m the—” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “the fucking alpha?”
She curved her lips up onto one side and lifted her gaze to the ceiling as if in deep thought. She tapped a finger against those peach-pink lips of hers. “Hmm. Yes, I think so. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. Grow up, Jameson, and stop being such a douche.”
With that, she slung her bag back over her shoulder and left the office.
He had to wait several minutes before his raging boner was under control, and then he was nearly late to his next lecture.