Not all my ghosts stayed dead. Chesca was very much alive and kicking, even though I watched the life drain from her eyes as her blood painted my hands red. But as only Chesca could, she had resurrected and come back to haunt me. In a very literal way.

The fingernails clawing in the soft flesh of my neck making it crystal clear that this wasn’t one of my nightmares. The pain shooting through my nerves making me very aware that after all these years, I still couldn’t match up against the longhaired she-devil. That I’d never been capable. How could I when I knew far too much?

When I knew that Chesca wasn’t born evil and hadn’t always been our enemy. That up until the morning of the Solstice, Chesca Blackwood had been my best friend, my confidant, my sister in arms. She had been loyal, fierce, trustworthy and I had considered her family. Right until I failed her. Right until my mistake chased her into her grave.

But then she rose from the dead, like a demon spawning from hell. But she’d changed. Her eyes had turned black, her voice had become sharp, her words always dripping with poison. In the blink of an eye, my best friend became, not just a stranger, but my enemy.

An enemy I couldn’t fight. Not now, or ever. How could I stand against the woman who I once called my sister? How could I attack the person I swore to protect? How could I kill... Someone I wanted to keep alive?

Chesca tightened her grip on my throat, stealing the air from my lungs. I clenched my jaw and ground my teeth on each other, refusing to scream in pain even though I wanted nothing more than to fill the quiet forest with the sound of my agony. But I couldn’t. I didn’t deserve it. I had no right to voice my pain. No, I needed to suffer through this in silence. This was my punishment.

“Not going to fight back, Danny?” she hissed in my ear, taunting me. “Even with your own life on the line, you still can’t fight me?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out her voice. To block out the memories that came crashing against the invisible wall I built around them to protect me from their harm. But it was no use. With every word, every taunt, every hiss, more and more cracks appeared in my shield as scents, sights, and events I wished I couldn’t remember flooded into my mind.

“Come on, Danny... Where’s the fun if you won’t fight back?” Chesca pouted, throwing me to the ground. “You loved to play with me. So, let’s play a game.”

I pushed myself up and desperately stared around. My wolf called for Regan, why wasn’t he coming?

“Awww, are you waiting for your knights in shining armour to arrive?” she mocks, crouching down so her face is eye-level to mine. “Well, I got news for you, princess. They’re not coming.”

I threw my eyes back at the ground, stubbornly. I couldn’t believe that. Regan always came for me. We were mated. There was no way he could resist my call.

“We’re alllll alone in this big, scary forest. No need to scream, they won’t hear you anyway,” Chesca grinned, strutting circles around me, laughing in my face. Relief flooded my chest. If she assumed that the only way I could get my men’s attention by screaming, she must not have know about my connection to Regan. How could she? As far as I knew, it was unheard of that wolves could shift. Regan and I were exceptions. Our bond? Unique. Nobody beside us and our friends knew we could communicate telepathically with each other.

So all I needed to do, was stall. Regan would find me. His wolf would always find me.

“What do you want to play?” I asked, deciding I just needed to stall. I needed to buy myself time for Regan and JP to find me.

“Ooooh, Danny, finally, you’re saying sensible things! We’ll play, just like when we were kids. Let’s see... What was your favourite game again?” Chesca giggled, clapping her hands manically, her cheeks red in glee.

I clenched my jaw again, holding the anger bubbling up in my stomach. I couldn’t lash out on her and risk setting off her crazy. I wanted to stall her, not provoke her.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” I hissed, forcing my voice to sound calmer than I felt. I knew without a doubt that her version of this game would have a seriously deranged twist. And I wasn’t going to like it.

Chesca snapped her fingers, as if she only now remembered. “That’s right, rock, paper, scissors. But it’s such a silly little kid’s game. And we’re not kids anymore, are we, Danny?” she sang. “Let’s make it more interesting,” she suggested, like predicted.

“How?” I managed to ask, mentally prodding my wolf to call for Regan again. He surely must’ve noticed I was missing by now. And if not him, maybe JP?

My childhood friend sat down next to me in the dirt and placed her knife between us. “Let’s see... How to make it more fun... How about... If I win, I get to cut off one of your fingers?” she proposed, her eyes flashing crazily.

I quickly curled my fingers into a fist. That didn’t sound like a fun game at all.

“No? But you get to cut off my fingers if I lose?” she pouted, waving her hands in front of my face. As if that was supposed to make me feel better. Crazy bitch.

“What about... Oh, I know! The person who loses, has to cut off a chunk of hair. That’s not too bad, right? It’s just hair, after all?”

My hands flew into my dark red locks. Damn that Chesca. She knew how much I loved and cherished my hair. Having long, healthy hair was the one thing that kept me sane during all the running and fighting. It made me feel human.

She grinned, her lips curling up. She knew she had hit my weak spot. Damn it. Having your best friend turn on you was definitely not fun.

“Uh-oh, did I upset you, Danny dear?” she sang, feigning sympathy. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to hold back the venom on my tongue. I wasn’t going to let her get to me. I couldn’t.

“Hair is fine,” I said confidently, pretending I didn’t care about my red locks.

“Fabulous! Let’s start,” she cheerfully said, hiding her hand behind her back. I groaned. Why hadn’t I picked another game? One where I could out strategise her? And not rely on the luck of the draw.

“Rock, paper, scissors!” we both chanted, revealing our hands. Relief flooded my system as my paper beat her rock.

“Aww, what a shame. Oh well, guess I’m losing some hair,” she shrugged, not caring about her hair in the slightest. Without any hesitation, she cut of a big chunk and threw it in front of me. “Let’s go again!”

I swallowed nervously. “How many rounds are we playing?”

“Until we’re bored,” she innocently smiled. “Or until one of us runs out of hair,” she added, her smile turning into an evil smirk.

It took her three more rounds before she finally managed a win. Her eyes lit up like Christmas lights as she followed my trembling hand reach for the blade. The handle was cold in my palm and for a moment, I thought about attacking my ex-best friend.

My wolf softly growled in my chest, letting me know she was ready to take over at any moment, but I couldn’t risk it. I still wasn’t in control of my shift and I didn’t want to be in my wolf form if JP found me. When he found me. There was no way that Regan wouldn’t bring JP along.

Just the thought of my two men relit a flicker of warmth in my body. They would always come for me. Yes, pun intended.

I softly nudged my wolf again, telling her to go find her mate in Regan’s chest and to direct them back to me. She tilted her head, silently asking if I didn’t need her here. But I knew that was not a good idea. As much as my wolf cared for me and Regan, she wasn’t too fond of JP. Not that I could blame her. He was human and not one of my fated mates. She definitely didn’t approve of me loving someone that wasn’t one our soulmates, but over the years, she had come to tolerate JP. Not like, but tolerate him enough to not kill him. Even so, it wouldn’t be the first time that bite marks appeared on JP’s body that he refused to talk about.

I gave her a nudge and reluctantly, she went to find Regan, leaving me alone with my crazy childhood friend. I briefly wondered if she had always been this deranged and I just never noticed or if it started after she died.

Either way, attacking her without my wolf seemed even more stupid and I certainly didn’t want to set her off in another one of her fits. She was already mad enough, I really didn’t want to throw more oil on the fire and really trigger a craze.

We both knew I wouldn’t be able to win anyway.

I clenched my jaw as I grabbed a lock of my red hair. With tears threatening to spill out of my eyes, I placed the sharp blade against the strands. I knew it was silly to put so much value in my hair, but this was my thing. This was me. I gritted my teeth, ready to slice off a part of who I was.

“Wait!” Chesca interrupted, freezing my hand mid-air. Had she changed her mind?

“I have a much better idea!”

Oh no...

“Why don’t I cut it for you?”

“That was not the deal...” I mumbled, my grip tightening on the knife. If it came down to a choice, I’d rather be the one cutting off my hair. Handing Chesca that blade was like handing her a noose. My noose.

“But it’s more fun this way, no? Or are you afraid I’ll mess it up?”

“Of course not,” I bluffed, my voice sounding much more confident than I felt. The thought of having Chesca cut my hair was terrifying me. I had seen her play barbershop when she was little. Hell, I had played barbershop with her. After Chesca cut the another girl’s hair, she chased us into the creek with rocks and sticks. Not really a surprise though. Chesca was very fond of asymmetric cuts and had absolutely butchered that poor girl’s haircut. In hindsight, that was probably why we had no mirrors in our pretend barbershop. And that definitely answered my question from before. She had always been batshit crazy.

“Awww, are you being a scaredy cat again, Danny? Don’t you trust your bestest friend?” she asked, her voice suspiciously sweet and childlike. She tipped her head to the side and gave me a curious look. The same look she used on me when we still were kids and everything was still good. Back in better times. Before the war. The war she started.

With anger clouding my judgment, I threw the knife at her feet. “Have at it,” I challenged, daring her to do her worst. Probably not the best decision, but then again, she was pissing me off. If it weren’t for her and her crazy antics, I wouldn’t have seen my home go up in flames. I wouldn’t be on the run with a marching army of infantry on my tail, destroying every house, every town, every thing I touched.

Chesca stroked my head, almost tenderly, before she grabbed a handful of red. With a snicker, she slit the knife straight through my hair. A cruel grin appeared around her lips as she let the strands fall down in front of my eyes.

“Such a shame... Your hair is so pretty and red. Look how beautiful it is against the ground. It almost looks like blood,” she whispered, the top of the knife stroking my skull. I froze as I felt the blade dart over my skin, unsure of what Chesca’s was playing at.

She could’ve killed me easily, but that didn’t seem to be her goal. If she wanted me bald, I was at her mercy. Yet she had only taken off a small chunk of hair. If she wanted to cut me, there wasn’t anything I could do to defend myself. Then why was she playing? Why was she stalling? I knew why I was, I was waiting for my men to appear and... Wait... Could it be?

“So you’ve finally figured it out, Danny dear?” Chesca hissed in my ear as she twirled a strand of my hair around her finger.

“You...” I breathed, too stunned to string together a full sentence.

She cackled as she roughly shoved her hand in my hair. “That’s right. I’m waiting for your men. I want them to find you and I want you to watch how they die. That’s what you like, right? Watching your loved ones die in front of your eyes?”

Bile rose from my stomach as I realised I had been played. I had fallen right in her trap. “I don’t...” I tried, but she cut me off.

“Oh, don’t deny it! That’s why you watched me die, right? You enjoyed it! Didn’t it make you feel powerful, Danny?”

I shook my head, my scalp hurting from where she was holding my hair. “It didn’t... I-I didn’t want you to die...”

Again, she cut me off. “Silence! You can’t fool me. I know you l wanted me dead. How else did I wind up lying in a ditch with the life leaving my body? Oh and don’t tell me it was an accident! Danny dear doesn’t make mistakes, does she? No, she is daddy’s little girl,” Chesca sneered, her voice sharp as every word cut in my skin. Memories of her death resurfacing from a place I thought I had locked down.

“How did it make you feel? To watch me die? Was it exciting? Exhilarating? Finally getting rid of me? I know you pitied me. Your silly, stupid friend, with no home and nowhere to go.”

I shook my head again, cursing the tears running down my cheek. “I loved you like a sister, Chesca. I didn’t mean for you to die!” I protested, making her yank my head back even harder.

“Loved me? Hah! You hated me!” she yelled, making me flinch from the sudden noise. Angrily, she tugged on my hair again. A horde of tiny needles stabbed my skull as she kept hurting me.

“I didn’t hate you...” I try, but my words are lost in the wind.

“I should just kill you right here, right now,” Chesca hissed in my ear, the blade moving away from my hair onto the skin in my neck. “I wonder how your beautiful mate Regan will react if he finds your lifeless body bleeding. Or your beloved JP. Do you think it’ll make his stutter even worse?”

My hands balled in fist as she lisped the names of my lovers, her voice changing to an oddly soft and seductive tone.

“Regan sure is strong and sexy... I wonder how it would feel to have him under me.”

Don’t engage, Danny. Don’t engage. I repeated to myself, trying to keep my cool. I knew what she was doing, she was trying to rile me up. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t lose control of myself and do something stupid.

Chesca twirled another strand of hair around her finger. “Or JP. He’s always so shy and adorable, but I bet he’s a beast in bed. It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it, Danny?”

Anger flamed up in my stomach as she spoke about my men. They weren’t hers to talk about.

“It would be such a shame if they arrive right when I slit your throat. Maybe they’ll be so overcome with grief, they’ll need someone to comfort them. But don’t worry, I will be waiting for them with open arms. And open legs.”

“You fucking bitch!” I growled, finally losing my temper and throwing all caution to the wind. If she was trying to piss me off, she succeeded. I clamped my hand around her wrist, yanking the blade away from my throat and jabbed my other elbow in her gut. Using the tricks JP taught me, I stole the knife from her as I rolled away from her. Even though my limbs had grown stiff from the cold ground, I quickly jumped up on my feet.

If she insisted on fighting it out, I’d gladly comply. There were a lot of things I’d take. Playing games and even cutting of chunks of hair I could tolerate. But her threatening my men, talking about making them hers, that was one step too far.

“What’s happening, Danny dear? Don’t want to share your boy toys with me?” Chesca sneered, rage boiling up in me from. Regan and JP were mine and mine alone. With a force I didn’t expect from myself, I swung the short blade at Chesca and somehow managed to slice her cheek. She brought her hand up to the wound and laughed out loud as she watched the blood trickle down.

“Is that all you got?” she mocked, licking the blood from her fingers. Fuck me, she was utterly deranged.

Angrily, I lunged at her again. Recalling all the lessons I had, I twirled around my enemy and managed to slash a deep cut in her upper arm. Instead of reacting like a regular person to pain, she just laughed harder and harder. “Pathetic! Do you think this will hurt me, Danny dear? You’re sad. Such a disappointment. You’ll never be able to live up to your father’s expectations. He’s probably glad you ran! After all, you’re just not good enough, Danielle,” Chesca hissed, the use of my full name sending me in a rage. She knew how much I hated my full name, how I hated my father, how I hated never being good enough for him.

Overcome with rage and frustrations I had been carrying around for so long, I jumped at her carelessly. I grabbed her by the wrist and spun around her, pressing my blade against her throat. My hand was trembling, but not from fear this time. I was angry, angry like I hadn’t been in a long time.

I could do it. If she said my full name one more time, I could slash her throat and kill her, ending this ridiculous and petty war. All I needed, was just one extra burst of anger. Just one and I could end this. For good.

“Are you going to kill me, Danny dear? You don’t have the guts” Chesca dared me, seemingly unconcerned with the situation she was in. I tightened my grip on the blade as I tried to gather the courage I needed. Come on, Danny. You could end the war right here, right now. Come on.

Do it.