Julia woke to the unfamiliar weight of solid man curled around her. She’d spent the night with Sawyer. In his bed.

Panic kick-started in her brain, but for the first time ever, she quashed it, consciously relaxing her body and allowing herself to sink into his hard warmth. One muscular arm rested comfortably along her flank, his fingers curled in ownership around the curve of her hip. She allowed his presence to warm her skin, appreciating the possessive weight of his arm.

I feel safe. The thought was fresh and new.

She opened her eyes as the realization hit her. Her mind was clear and calm. She’d woken under her own steam and she hadn’t been torn from her sleep by nightmares. Her mind was a landscape blanketed with a clean snowfall, no dirty tracks of bad dreams sullying the pristine surface. She hadn’t dreamt of her sister’s blank, open eyes accusing her from the weedy depths, her pale face listing in shafts of spattered sunlight.

It was her first night without nightmares since when? Since forever.

Julia basked in the quiet peacefulness, stretching her legs to the tips of her toes. I could get used to this.

She turned to watch him sleep, touched the thick strip of dark hair on top of his head and ran her fingertips across the smoky softness that covered the rest of his skull. Sleep had softened his features, erasing the lines of stress and violence the Chittrix had imposed. She liked to think some of that softening was down to her too.

Hot memories of last night rushed through her brain, loosening the muscles of her belly and thighs. She flushed. God. She was easy. But she was glad she was here with him, and that he was alive and safe, even if strange, new emotions were pricking at her heart. For the first time since the invasion she was grateful to acknowledge something good in her life.

Sawyer stirred, his legs tangling with hers under the sheet. She considered pulling him into the soft welcome of her body, tucking her head into the crook of his neck, and listening to the soothing beat of his heart.

He’d been broken last night, torn from his moorings by the violent events of the day and his connection to them. Beth’s vengeful face swam through Julia’s mind. Now that there was time, Julia wanted to know more. There was more, she was sure of it.

“Hey.” His voice was low, muzzy with sleep.

Julia rolled to greet him, her nose bumping up against his. He smiled and slid his hands up the flex of her waist, cupping her naked breast and gently squeezing her nipple between his finger and thumb.

She pulled a mock stern face. “Haven’t you had enough?”

His face was serious. “I’ve never had enough of you.”

She sighed into his embrace, hooking her leg around his body, arching her pelvis into him while her hands explored the compact edges of his chest and abdomen, memorizing them. All hers.

Lines at the corners of his mouth deepened as he remembered the events of the previous day

She cupped his chin with the crook of her hand. “You okay?”

Pain darkened the gold of his hazel eyes. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Julia waited, allowing the closeness of her body to soothe him as she stroked the curve of his shoulder. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and took a long shuddering breath.

“You couldn’t have saved her,” she said.

“Yeah. I’m just worn out watching people die and not being able to do anything about it.”

“About Beth—”

“Beth’s brother, Robbie, ran a drugs ring. I was undercover in the drug squad for over three years, dealing, working my way deep into his organization. He was big. There wasn’t a part of the country uncontaminated by his filth. I worked my way up his ranks, ran distribution, made myself irreplaceable.”

He hesitated, still staring at the ceiling. Julia was desperate for him to look at her, but she was fearful of interrupting, worried if she did, he might never finish.

Her emotions got the better of her. “And?”

“And it was a messed-up lifestyle. Sometimes I think I did well. Other times I think I was part of the problem. It’s impossible to be part of all that without becoming assimilated.”

Julia stole a glimpse of the small white scars tracing the crook of his elbow. God, how had she been so naive?

She remained silent. None of her thoughts were fit for purpose. She’d asked him what was going on, and he was being straight. But until now, their relationship had been simple, no deep disclosures. She’d kept him at a safe distance. Now she was split between a hunger to know more and a deep fear of connection and understanding his past. Damned simple as ever.

“Beth and I worked closely together, distributing the product.”

He paused as memories flitted across his face. “She never forgave me. It all went down a month before the Chittrix invasion. I finally had enough evidence to bring Robbie down. There was a massive raid, and we took them both into custody. I never knew what happened to her until now, although I knew she was a fighter. She was tough. Had to be with a brother like Robbie. He brought her up after their parents died in a car crash.” He looked straight at Julia. “I should have protected her, and I didn’t. I sold her out.”

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you.”

He nodded and she waited, part of her believing there was more. She berated herself, it shouldn’t matter, their relationship was casual. It was none of her business what he’d had with Beth and if he wanted to tell her about it or not. Her own irrationality made the inside of her skull itch, and she hated herself for it.

Sawyer scrubbed his face with the palms of his hands. “It’s done,” he said in a final tone. He turned to face her, his arms encompassing her and pulling her snug against his body.

“This is what is important. Here and now.” He kissed her eyelids before resting his forehead against hers. “I thought you were going to die in the sewer,” he whispered, the edge of his voice hoarse with emotion. Butterflies danced in Julia’s belly. What was he doing to her?

“It’s still early. We have time,” she said, eager to change the subject, pressing her curves into the heat of his body. His eyes creased into a warm smile as his hands ran lower, slipping between her legs and finding her hot wetness. Julia gently traced the soft line of hair from his belly button to his erection, her fingernails teasing his skin. Her fingers traced across the swollen head of his cock, dipping around the corona before enclosing his shaft in a firm grip. Deep groans spilled from him as she stroked him. This was so much easier, just forgetting and giving herself to him.

Greedy for his touch, she ground her pelvis against his muscled thigh. Soft hairs on his leg rubbed against her clit, tormenting her.

“I can’t believe we waited this long to wake up together.”

She smiled at his words, allowing happiness to soak through her.

He pulled back slightly to get easier access to the warmth of her open thighs and two strong fingers pressed deep inside her, while his thumb slid across the exposed nub of her clit. A gasp of tortured pleasure escaped her lips. The skill of his hands continued to surprise and delight her. He worked her with skilled patience, escalating her pleasure with firm thrusts of his hand.

“Enough,” he grunted. He moved over her, covering her body. The muscles of his back flexed smoothly under her fingertips as his pelvis continued to rock into the softness of her hand. His voice was a throaty growl. “I want to be inside you.”

She released him, letting him guide the thick tip of his cock against her slickness. His eyes held her captive, watching her reaction as he eased the first inch of his cock inside her with tender slowness. She rose to meet him, but he held his distance.

“I want to feel every inch of you, slowly.”

She groaned, a thrill of goosebumps rising on her bare legs as he threw the sheet away, tracing the edge of his nails up the outside of her leg. Breathless, words faded from her mind as desire razed her rational thoughts to the ground.

He tilted his pelvis, burying himself inch by inch inside her. Julia luxuriated in her body stretching to accommodate him, as he filled her up. He was driving her crazy, and she ached with desperation to feel him seated deep within her. She grasped the small of his back, the hard tension in his muscles sending quivers to her core.

God. She wanted him now.

“Mine,” he muttered as their bodies met, his voice deep with need. He gripped her hips, thrusting with teasing deliberation.

She matched his rhythm, her legs locked around his back as he bit her neck, hard enough to mark, but she was beyond caring, needing a release from this exquisite torture.

He took her nipple between his fingers as he rode deep within her, teasing the pebbled skin with flicks and gentle pinches, making her cry out. His mouth bit and sucked lower, his breath hardening her nipple as he paused before taking it in his mouth. His teeth grazed the erect tip, sending arcs of pleasure between her legs.

She couldn’t take any more. She stretched, clasping him to her as her body clamped down and she splintered around him. Her cries echoed in her ears as he thrust again, and again. Finally possessing her, his cock thickened, stretching her even further as he found his release, losing himself within her.

Julia held him as he spilled hot inside her, her arms wrapped around his neck as she breathed in his scent, unable to let him go. The moment shimmered between them, precious and fragile. She knew it then, what they might have had in different circumstances, in a world unharmed by alien war, where men and women had the luxury of time to love each other but she couldn’t hold it any longer, it didn’t belong to her. The moment escaped in a blur of stinging barely-controlled tears.

Sawyer kissed her neck, and she released him. She swept an eyelash from above the dimple on his cheek then pressed her lips to his palm, hiding the hot tears behind her eyes and letting reality come rushing back in.