Connor dragged the blanket back in with them. Beau took the whiskey and shut the window. The quilt got tossed on the bed, and the bottle set down on the floor next to it.

“We have to be quiet,” Connor said, pulling Beau towards him. He ran his hands over Beau’s biceps. “Damn, I love your body.”

Beau slipped his arms around Connor’s waist. “I locked the door when I came up. Is that okay?”

“I appreciate it. Better they knock and get annoyed than just walk in and get traumatized.”

Beau stared into his eyes, his hands coming up to cradle Connor’s face, and Connor didn’t know where to look. All he could do was hold on to Beau’s wrists as if they were the only things keeping him from drowning.

Beau pressed light, gentle kisses to Connor’s mouth that calmed him at the same time they started a fire burning inside his chest. He tasted whiskey on Beau’s lips.

Connor’s heart pounded. This quiet intimacy unnerved him in a way their previous heated encounters hadn’t. It was scary, terrifying. But Connor had never been one to run from his fears. He knew better than most that each day could be his last. If this was love—and what else could it be?—and he could only have it for a little while, then he would treasure it and keep it as something to measure his future relationships against.

They kissed until Connor was dizzy with it, his ears ringing and breath pounding. He had one hand on the back of Beau’s neck, holding him in place. The other rested on the dip of Beau’s back, right before the swell of his ass. Connor couldn’t get enough of that spot, sweeping his fingers up and down the curves under the T-shirt. He wanted to put his mouth there, kiss his way up Beau’s spine, but he couldn’t move. He could only hold on and let Beau take them where he wanted to go.

His hands still on either side of Connor’s face, Beau stopped kissing him, leaning their foreheads together, too close to see.

“What do you want?” Connor asked.

“I want to take care of you.”

It was the same thing he had said beneath the tree and after Connor had lost it with Sean. The knowledge that Beau’s first priority was Connor gave him the strength to keep going. He had been feeling so alone for so long.

“You do so much,” Beau said, caressing him, fingers digging into the hard muscle. “So much rests on these strong shoulders. You’re strong, capable. Good. Let me do something for you? Do you trust me?”

Connor nodded. He did. He trusted him with the lives of his little brothers and sisters. That said everything. Connor had never placed a high price on his own life.

Beau stepped back and pulled Connor’s T-shirt over his head. “Gorgeous.” He ran his hands all over Connor’s torso, finger tracing the lines of his tattoo, hands curving over the swell of his muscles. “So soft.”

He rubbed the small patch of silky dark hair between Connor’s pecs, and the followed the thin line of hair down his torso. He circled Connor’s navel with his fingertip, smiling when Connor sucked in his stomach. “Ticklish?”

He didn’t give Connor time to answer, as he followed the line of Connor’s pants around to his back. Standing so close that his shirt brushed Connor’s chest, he slid his hands under the waistband of Connor’s pants.

“I love this part right here,” he said, rubbing circles at the base of Connor’s spine.

Connor gasped softly, whining at the tingling sensation building under his skin. I do, too, he wanted to say but words wouldn’t come.

Beau chuckled softly. Leaning forward, he touched his lips gently to Connor’s lips, tracing them with his tongue as his fingers slid slowly and firmly up the center of Connor’s back.

Connor trembled at the barely-there touches, trapped between lips and fingertips.

“Beau,” he whispered, almost overwhelmed.

“Shh, I got you,” Beau said.

His kisses grew stronger, but his mouth stayed closed as he dragged his fingers up and down the valley of Connor’s spine, leaving fire in their wake. Something was building between them. A kind of energy, like an itch between Connor’s shoulder blades as if something was going to burst out of his skin. All Connor could concentrate on, all he could feel, were Beau’s fingers and lips touching him.

When Beau reached the top of Connor’s spine, he pulled Connor tightly against him, tapping the spot between his shoulder blades as he forced his way into Connor’s mouth.

Connor jolted and cried out with the burst of explosive energy that felt almost like an orgasm centered in his chest. He clung to Beau’s shoulders, shuddering.

Beau forced Connor backward to the mattress on the floor. The back of his calves hit the edge, and he fell.

Connor panted, hands gripping the sheets as Beau stripped quickly and without ceremony, kicking off his sneakers and stepping out of his sweatpants. Connor stared at the ceiling, afraid to look directly at Beau.

“Lift,” Beau ordered, voice rough. Connor barely had time to obey before Beau had stripped him bare.

“Fuck,” Beau whispered reverently, then climbed up over him. “I need…” he put his hands under Connor’s arms, half-dragging and half-pushing him up the bed. Laughing breathlessly, Connor got his feet under him and pushed himself back. They wrestled in a graceless tangle of arms and legs, warm silken skin and hard cocks brushing together.

When Connor was stretched out on the bed, Beau dropped down heavily onto him, burying his face in Connor’s neck. His arms on either side of his head. “Connor,” he said. “Oh, Con.”

Connor wrapped his arms around Beau’s shoulder, twining their legs together. He relishing the feel of Beau’s weight pressing him to the bed, grounding him.

Beau trembled in his arms, echoing the emotions running through Connor’s body. They caressed whatever bit of skin they could reach without letting go as if they were each trying to memorize the other man’s body.

Connor tried not to think, just to feel. This kind of time with another man, this kind of privacy, was a rare experience for him.

Despite the recall of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, trying to be with someone while living on base was risky. You never forgot there were eyes on you all the time, even when you were off duty.

In the field, it was worse.

There, no one lied about what was going on. It happened, and everyone knew. Mutual hand jobs, even the occasional blowjob were okay. Even fucking another guy, assuming you were the top, was okay. No, they lied to themselves about what it meant.

They all loved each other in a way. They would die for each other and sometimes did. But everything was temporary, even if you survived, which most, but not all, did. Everything could be stripped away with one bullet or one transfer order. Allowing yourself to get close, trying to have something real? That way only led to disaster. So you pretended it was just sex. Nothing emotional, nothing real.

It never worked.

Even as Beau kissed him, Connor could feel the barriers he’d erected around his heart and mind crumbling. He was letting Beau in, but also letting loose the emotions and feelings he’d tried so hard to bury.

Connor wanted, needed, not to think or feel, and Beau was making him feel too much. He needed more of something, anything—whiskey or orgasms so big he couldn’t think. “Fuck me.”’ he begged. “Please. Make me forget.”

“I can do that. Make you forget everyone but me.” His hands were everywhere, scratching up Connor’s side, pinching and tugging his nipples, sending shocks of pain-tinged pleasure to Connor’s cock.

He kissed his way down Connor’s body, murmuring nonsense. Connor kept his hand in Beau’s hair. “What do you want, Connor? Ask me. Ask me, and I’ll give you anything.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know.” What was happening to him? Sex was never like this.

“Okay, okay. Shh.” Beau raised up on his knees, climbed over Connor, and kissed him until he calmed down. “Better?”

Connor laced his fingers behind Beau’s neck and tugged until Beau laid on top of him again. “Now I’m better.”

Beau kissed him a few more times, then pulled Connor’s hands off him and pressed them to the bed. “Now let me finish my play.”

“You have a play?”

“Damn straight, and you’re gonna like it.”

“I’m in your hands.”

“That’s not all you’re going to be in,” Beau said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Connor groaned and rolled his eyes. His groans deepened and grew louder as Beau slid his mouth over Connor’s dick and blew him until he strained against the bed, so close to coming he couldn’t think. Beau pulled off, head resting on Connor’s thigh, and he panted as if he were as close to orgasm as Connor.

Connor yanked Beau’s hair.

Beau growled then straddled Connor’s hips, his cock huge and hard, pointing almost straight up. Keeping his deep blue eyes locked on Connor’s, he knee-walked up Connor’s body until the tip of his cock almost touched Connor’s lips. His mouth opened automatically.

“Yeah?” Beau asked, grabbing a handful of Connor’s hair.

In answer, Connor grabbed Beau’s ass and pulled his cock deep into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Beau groaned, punching the wall above their heads. Thrusting his hips forward, he shoved his cock down Connor’s throat, fucking his face until Connor almost couldn’t breathe.

He gasped for air when Beau pulled out, gripping the base of his cock tightly. “Fuck. Your mouth. In you. I need to come in you.”

“God, yes.”

Beau quickly crawled back between Connor’s legs. Grabbing the lube, he made quick work of opening him up with his fingers. As Connor moaned and cursed, Beau clapped a hand over his mouth, his voice hot in Connor’s ear telling him to be quiet or he would have to stop.

Clenching his teeth, Connor tried his best to hold back his cries as Beau’s fingers did wicked, wicked things to him. Curving to press against Connor’s prostate, stretching and fucking him until Connor thought he would blow. The muffled whine and whimpers escaping between his teeth sounded wild and desperate.

“On your knees,” Beau ordered, his voice raw and rough with lust.

“No, no. fuck. I want to ride you. Let me ride you.” Connor loved how it felt to straddle another man, to lower himself slowly and let gravity pull him down onto his partner.

“Oh, fuck yes.” Wrapping his arms around Connor, he rolled them over. He had a condom on in the few seconds it took Connor to straddle him. He stroked himself, spreading lube up and down as if it felt too good to stop. “God, Connor. Fuck.”

They both moaned as Connor sank down, taking Beau in one smooth move.

“Holy fuck,” Beau cursed, digging his fingers into Connor’s hips, his back arching off the bed. “Oh, God. Oh, God.” As Connor lifted up to his knees and slid back down, Beau shoved a fist into his mouth to muffle the moans he couldn’t hold back.

Connor’s jaw ached with the effort of holding back his sounds. Words beat against his teeth that he didn’t dare let out.

He leaned back, hands resting on Beau’s strong thighs. Digging his fingers into the muscles, he rode Beau hard, the sounds of their bodies slapping together, harsh breaths and muffled whimpers filling the room.

“Close,” Beau muttered. “Oh fuck, Connor.”

Connor fell forward, needing to feel Beau wrapped around him again.

Beau grabbed him, pulling Connor down tightly against his chest. Setting his heels into the mattress, he thrust into Connor, pounding so hard Connor’s eyes rolled back into his head. His cock was trapped between them, rubbing against Beau’s washboard abs. Sweat dripped from Connor’s forehead, sliding down his neck.

Beau wedged his hand between them, stroking Connor’s cock once. Every muscle in Connor’s body locked up, and he bit down on Beau’s shoulder as he came, teeth sinking into the hot flesh.

Beau yelled out, thrusting up one last time, and Connor felt every pulse of his orgasm.

Awareness returned slowly as they stayed locked together, shuddering with aftershocks and struggling for breath.

“Oh, my God,” Beau finally forced out. His arms slipped from Connor’s back to fall heavily to the bed. “Holy shit.”

Connor nodded as he rolled off of Beau, groaning when he stretched his legs out. “Damn.”

Beau nodded weakly in agreement. “I don’t suppose you have a shower hidden up here?” he asked after a few seconds.

Connor shook his head, grimacing as he ran his fingers through the mess on his stomach. “I got baby wipes and a dirty T-shirt.”

“All the amenities,” Beau said as he sat up on the edge of the mattress.

They cleaned up, then shared a bottle of water and one last sip of whiskey.

Connor collapsed face down on the bed. “Big spoon or little spoon?” Beau asked as he pulled the covers up over them.

“Neither, I’m a stomach sleeper,” Connor mumbled into the pillow.

“And I snore. Little spoon it is.” Beau rolled over and sprawled across half of Connor’s body. He was asleep in seconds.

Beau was right. He did snore.

Connor wasn’t sure what woke him up. The room was silent and almost pitch black, only the flashing red lights of charging cell phones piercing the darkness. The air held the particular stillness that only happened in the wee, small hours of the night when everything inside and outside slept.

Except for Beau. He lay on his back, one arm holding Connor against his chest, the other tucked behind his head.

Connor lay still in Beau’s arms, breathing in his musky, somehow sleepy scent and feeling the heat of Beau’s body seeping into his skin. The old, soft quilts covered them up to Beau’s waist.

Sighing quietly, Connor rolled closer into Beau, running his hand over his chest, reveling in the feel of his silky hair and hard muscle. “Everything okay?” he whispered.

“I might be moving to Argentina,” Beau answered, combing his fingers through Connor’s hair.

“For hockey?”

“For ranching.”

Oh. “Right now?” He kissed Beau’s chest, smiling when Beau pulled sharply on his hair. “It doesn’t matter, right?”

Beau tugged Connor’s head back so he could see his face. “What if I want it to?”

Shielded by the night and sheltered by Beau’s strong arms, Connor couldn’t lie. “It does. This matters to me.” He spread his hand flat on Beau’s chest, feeling his heartbeat under his palm.

“Are we worth less because it’s temporary?” Beau asked.

“Everything’s temporary, babe,” Connor said. “Everything ends.”

Beau breathed deeply and slowly, Connor’s head riding the swell and fall of his chest. “You want to make the most of the time we have?”

“That’s all humans can ever do, Con.” Lifting the blankets, he pulled Connor on top of him, spreading his legs to make a space for him. “Kiss me.”

Resting his arms on Beau’s broad chest, Connor obeyed willingly. He was already addicted to the taste and feel of this amazing man. He had no idea what he had done to deserve this, even for a short time, but he wasn’t going to take a second of it for granted.

Beau ran his hands from Connor’s shoulders to the tops of his thighs as they kissed. Connor’s spine melted, his muscles going liquid under Beau’s talented hands even as his cock stirred to life again.

Beau hummed appreciatively, rolling his hips up to slide his erection against Connor’s. “What do you want?” he asked Connor, squeezing his butt cheeks with both hands.

“This,” Connor said. “Just this.”

“Okay, babe.” Beau dropped his arm off the mattress and grabbed the lube. Reaching around Connor’s back, he poured the slick liquid into his hand, letting some drip onto Connor and slide down his crack.

Connor shivered, and Beau followed the trail with his fingers. “Feeling okay?” he asked, pressing gently against Connor’s hole.

“Feel amazing.” This close, he could see Beau’s eyes, bright blue even in the dark. His lips were still red from Connor’s stubble and teeth. Connor traced them with his fingers, feeling Beau smile under his touch.

“Good. Lift up just a little.” When Connor did, Beau slid his hand between them, slicking up their cocks. “Just like this,” he said, guiding Connor back down and rolling his hips up.

Connor hissed in pleasure. They rocked and surged against each other as quietly as they could, small sighs and tiny moans escaping from their lips.

Beau cradled Connor’s balls and traced a line up between his ass cheeks to tap lightly at his opening. He captured Connor’s groan in his mouth. Beau wrapped his arms around Connor’s back and rolled them until he lay on top of Connor. He yanked Connor’s knees up and spread his thighs under Connor’s legs.

“Fuck yes, please,” Connor said breathlessly. He wrapped his legs and arms around Beau’s body.

Beau drove relentlessly against him, dragging their cocks against each other. He kissed the whimpers dropping from Connor’s mouth, held him tightly when he shuddered silently through a huge orgasm, his head buried in the curve of Beau’s neck.

With Connor urging him on, whispering filth lovingly in his ear, Beau called out Connor’s name once before falling apart in Connor’s arms.

They kissed gently a few times, before separating to clean up as best they could with Connor’s T-shirt and the baby wipes. Exhaustion washed over Connor and dragged him down into a deep sleep.

When the phone woke Connor hours later, the rising sun revealed an empty spot where Beau had been. His phone buzzed again.

Help, Beau texted. Cornered in the kitchen by kids. Hurry.

Connor dragged himself out of bed with a groan.