When Monday morning comes, I find myself slipping out of my room soundlessly, not wanting to wake Raph. I leave for class much too early and it’s because where it really matters, I’m one hell of a coward.

The memory of Raph’s mouth on me, not just on my lips, but on every part of my body, is seared into my mind. The first time on the plush rug in front of the fireplace, the second time before we both finally succumb to sleep, once more in the middle of the night and again when we both woke up on Sunday morning.

Then there was the whole of Sunday when we spent the whole day in my bed. What started off as an innocent plan to watch movies all day, turned out to be not quite so innocent, with Raph making me cry out his damn name way too many times. I’d been dying to touch him, to make him lose his sanity in the same way that he had made me lose my mind, but he kept telling me he could wait, that it was all about me, although the way his body trembled and the naked pleasure in his eyes told me that he had enjoyed every minute of it as much as I had, if not more.

I flush as I remember the feel of those sensuous lips against the most intimate parts of me and the way I’d come apart against those lips, over and over again. I let out a groan of frustration as I make my way to campus, suddenly feeling like I need another cold shower.

But as undeniably pleasurable as each moment has been, it feels like all of it happened in some isolated world that we had created all for ourselves, a world where it didn’t matter who and what Raph was, a world where his throne and the duties and obligations that came with it, didn’t exist. But it’s back to reality now and in the cold light of day, I can’t ignore the questions, the doubts that I’ve kept at bay since Friday night when Raph spoke those words to me that seemed to steal away all sanity and reason.

I kick myself for letting any of this happen. I should’ve stayed away from Raph, I shouldn’t have accepted his truce or his offer to help me. That way, we would’ve stayed enemies, because things were so much simpler when I believed that we hated each other.

I should’ve stayed clear of him when he told me that he didn’t want me, that he couldn’t want me, that none of this could ever matter because apart from the not wanting me part, the rest of it is still true.

“What happened to you this weekend?” Dani asks, as we settle into first period, thankfully not a class that I share with Raph.

“I tried calling and I texted you a few times because you seemed kind of upset when you left the Fall Ball on Friday.”

I consider lying, but I decide against it, because Dani is my friend, the first one I’d made in this place and I want to confide in her.

“Oh, Dan,” I sigh. “So much has gone down since then.”

Dani looks intrigued and she raises an eyebrow expectantly.

I tell her everything that happened, and although I keep my voice down so only she can hear, she’s far less subtle with her exclamations.

I keep the bedroom parts brief, but I can still feel my face burning once I’ve finished.

Dani is silent for a long moment.

“So, Raph really went down on you? More than once?” she asks finally.

“Dani!” I cry out in frustration. “Is that really the only part that matters?”

“Hell yes, it is,” she replies quickly.

“You are one lucky girl,” she adds. “I don’t think there’s a girl here that wouldn’t love to swap places with you right now.”

“Well, they’re welcome to because I have no idea what to do with this mess,” I reply, covering my face with my hand.

Dani’s face turns somber then.

“I don’t know what you should do either. I mean, it’s great that Raph finally came out and admitted what everyone with eyes and ears has known since that first day you stepped on campus. More than great.

“But you’re right—it’s way more complicated than that. Raph isn’t just any guy—he’s a Dynasty heir, the heir to the goddamn throne. He’s up to his eyeballs in obligations and duties. He’s been raised in a certain way, taught to disregard what he wants for the sake of his Dynasty, what his throne needs him to do.”

“Thanks, Dan, that makes me feel a hell of a lot better,” I grumble. She’s speaking with such knowledge and conviction, that some part of me wonders if she’s maybe talking about more than just Raph here, if maybe it’s the same for Lance, but to a lesser extent.

“What I mean is, Raph must really feel something fierce for you if he’s willing to step out like this.”

“But what if it’s just another piece on the side for him. He told me that he and Layla have this sick understanding where he basically gets to screw around with whoever he wants, but none of that changes who they are to each other. She’s his betrothed, Dan. Everyone expects them to be together and one day, she’s going to be his queen.”

I feel the stabbing pain at my chest when I say the words out loud, and the realization of what I’ve just gotten myself into crashes over me like a tidal wave.

Dani’s face softens as she covers my hand in hers.

“If you really believe that you’re just another piece on the side for Raph, then you wouldn’t have let all that happen between you this past weekend. No way, Jazmine. I know you. I know that you believe there’s something more to it than just that.”

I did, one hundred percent, believe that on Friday night but now … now, in the cold light of day, I’m not so sure.

“I don’t know anything anymore,” I say then.

“Okay, well don’t jump to conclusions until you do know for sure,” she says and I can make myself agree with that at least.

* * *

My resolve to keep an open mind quickly wavers when Raph walks into my second period class with Layla on his heels. The sight of them together used to make my stomach twist, but now it makes me feel so completely sick, that I’m finding it hard to stay seated at my desk. Because all I want to do is get the hell out of here and as far away as possible from the sight of Raph and Layla together.

The realization that I felt crashing over me earlier, returns with a vengeance. What the hell had I been thinking, letting myself get involved with Raph? A guy who, a few months ago was solely responsible for making my life a living hell, a guy who is clearly betrothed to the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in real life and who, coincidentally, hates my guts.

My eyes land on Layla’s all too perfect face and I can almost imagine her with a crown on her head, sitting beside Raph’s throne—his queen. That is who she’s destined to be, and me? I’m nothing more than just another foolish girl who let Raph into her panties. It’s my own fault, though, because I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew that I was way out of my depths with this guy, that his promise to break me was no idle threat because even if I do now believe that it isn’t his intention, it doesn’t change the fact that I know, deep down, that he will.

There’s no other way this could end. I don’t know anything about dating or even hooking up with guys. My total inexperience means that Raphael St. Tristan does indeed have the ability to break my naïve little heart, if I don’t start seeing sense this very second.

I force myself to face that painful reality and school my face blank, despite the churning in my gut.

But when Raph’s vivid blue eyes lock onto mine, that reality wavers, because although I search for any sign of regret, I don’t see anything of the sort. Instead he’s looking at me as if I’m the only person in the room, hell, maybe even the only person in the entire universe. Dani isn’t in this class with me, but if she were, I know she’d be throwing me one of her pointed looks right now.

Still, I keep my guard up when instead of following Layla to the front row, he walks towards where I’m sitting. The desk beside me magically empties and Raph drops down into it.

“Jaz.” He greets me with that heart stopping smile and when my gaze falls on those sensuous lips, all I can think about is the wicked things that those lips, that tongue did to my body all weekend long.

The smirk on Raph’s face tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking and that he’s thinking of exactly the same thing, too.

“Hey,” I manage, keeping my tone casual.

A small frown forms on his face as he assesses mine.

He leans over to me and the feel of his mouth so close to my ear causes shivers to race through my spine.

“I woke up this morning thinking it was going to be the best Monday morning I’ve had in a long time, but I was bitterly disappointed when I realized that I was all alone in that big bed of yours,” he whispers.

I force my erratic heartbeat to calm. I need to keep my head and it’s proving almost impossible with Raph whispering in my ear.

“I had to get to class early,” I lie and even I can hear how lame that excuse is.

I don’t turn around to see Raph’s reaction, but from the corner of my eye, I don’t miss the way his frown deepens.

Thankfully, I’m saved by Professor Hoxton, who hands out a surprise quiz, which means that we’ll have to spend the rest of the class in silence.

It doesn’t stop Raph from burning a hole into me all the way through class, though, as those impossibly blue eyes turn to study my profile more than just a few times. I can sense him trying to read me, but that’s the last thing I want.

When the bell rings, I grab my things hurriedly and head for the door without a second look back. I’m halfway down the hallway when I feel Raph’s hand closing around my arm. Dammit.

I school my face into a neutral expression as I turn slowly to face him. But his expression is nowhere near as calm. He looks confused and there’s something else mixed in there, too … hurt? But that doesn’t make sense because I can’t let myself believe that he’d actually be hurt by anything that I could do to him, regardless of all that he’s said to me.

“Is … is something wrong, Jaz?” he asks tentatively, searching my face.

I work to keep him from seeing anything in it which might give me away.

“No, no—of course not,” I reply. “I’ve just got a really busy day today,” I add quickly.

He searches my face for another moment and he looks like he might try to push the subject, but nods slightly instead.

“Okay,” he says finally.

“You coming to lunch?” he asks, looking at me expectantly.

“No—I have to drop some books off at the library, then see my art professor before next period,” I lie again.

I don’t give Raph a chance to object, as I turn on my heel and walk away, practically running from him.

I avoid him for the rest of the day. I ignore his confused looks, which turn into concern and then finally anger. I ignore the impulse to throw myself into his arms and kiss him in front of the entire class, so that everyone here knows that he’s mine. I tell myself that the impulse is a crazy one, because of course, he’s not mine and nor will he ever be mine. I need to accept that and forget everything that happened this weekend and I need to do it fast.