Hidden Away

 

Piper rolled over when the sun hit her face the next morning. She’d completely forgotten to close the curtains. She never forgot to do that. Never forgot to close herself in when she was unaware. When she was exposed.

Then she looked at the empty bed next to her.

Last night, she’d had other things on her mind. And when nothing was on her mind, all she did was feel.

What a wonderful blissful night.

It was more than she’d ever experienced before. More than she thought she’d ever experience.

Everything she dreamed of. Maybe everything she’d always wanted but kept hidden away.

As disappointed as she was that Vin wasn’t there in bed with her right now, she wasn’t surprised, either. Part of her was good with it, though.

It’s not like he could have gone far. Just next door. It was almost like living in the same house and he was just downstairs. Maybe. If she wanted to really convince herself of that.

She didn’t, though. Because doing that would be putting too much pressure on things when she was trying to keep it light. Trying to figure out what was going on with him and where this might be heading.

She climbed out of bed naked. She’d never slept naked a day in her life. Ever. She always had on a shirt and bottoms, even if it was just a T-shirt and shorts, never having felt comfortable enough, even living on her own. Kind of like never leaving the curtains open.

Why? Because of Karl. Because of sneaky hands and false words.

Because she lived in a house with a married couple who had a lot of kids in and out over the years. Always girls, she learned. Never more than one at a time. Probably so they couldn’t compare notes.

That last time, though. That was the last time ever.

She stood there right now, naked, staring at the wall. Looking beyond the hanging pictures. Looking into her past and wishing it weren’t so. That this wouldn’t taint the night she’d just had with Vin, but knowing she’d never forget things, either.

The day she got home from school and the house was empty, so she took a quick shower, not bothering to grab a change of clothes. No need. She was alone.

Only she wasn’t. She walked out with a towel wrapped around her and down the hall only to run into Karl. He must have come home when she was in the shower. She didn’t ask what he was doing there. She didn’t have to. She knew.

She made a quick dash for her door, but he grabbed her and had her pinned against the wall, his mouth on her neck. “Were you getting ready for me?” he asked.

“No.” She shoved at him. “Get away from me.”

“You want it. All you girls do.”

She tried to tell the social worker Karl was making her uncomfortable. That he’d been touching her in ways she didn’t like. But it’d never been like this. He’d always done it when she was dressed. Just brushing against her in the hall. His hand would “accidentally” touch her breast or butt when he went by.

Enough to make her uneasy. Enough to know that it was wrong and that things could get worse. She was guessing this was the day and tried to fight back the panic.

When she’d explained it to the overworked county employee months before, she was told that it was nothing more than her imagination. That they’d heard it all before from foster kids trying to get out of their placement.

But it wasn’t her imagination.

She was trapped by Karl, not just the nightmare she was reliving in her mind, and she had nothing but a towel on her and a man’s mouth on her neck, caging her against the wall.

A man much bigger than her. One that everyone thought was a saint for taking in foster kids because his wife couldn’t bear children. That everyone adored. Everyone but her.

She started to cry, but he laughed at her. “Don’t worry. You’ll like it. I’ll make it good for you. Then I’ll show you what I like. We can help each other.”

Her towel loosened and he dropped his mouth to her naked breast. At that moment, the fight-or-flee response that she’d never used before kicked in and she kneed him in the groin and ran to her room, locking herself in. He hadn’t been expecting it, she knew, and she was fast. Faster than him.

Karl had banged on the door and said he was going to knock it down, but his wife came home and he stopped. Wanted to know what the noise was and what was going on.

Piper never asked what Karl told his wife. Never left her room that night. Said she was sick, then packed up what she could, snuck out in the middle of the night, and stayed on the streets for weeks. Until they found her and put her in a group home for girls for six months.

It was still better than being in another foster home. The other girls were rough and tough, and she wasn’t. But she found a way to get along with everyone as best she could.

Then she got lucky and was placed with the Shaffers. And as skittish as she was, she knew she’d go back on the street if she had to. It never came to that, thankfully.

She shook her head out of those thoughts. Annoyed and ticked off that seeing her curtains open could bring such horrid memories on what should have been a wonderful morning after last night.

After grabbing a long shirt and shorts, she pulled them on and went to her kitchen for a cup of coffee. A glance at the clock told her she’d slept till eight a.m. She hadn’t slept this late in years. Good thing it was a Sunday and the shop was closed.

With her coffee in her hand, she opened up her recipe book, the one she’d been adding to since she was in high school. She was going to block all the thoughts of Karl and being watched and followed out of her head. If she kept telling herself it didn’t exist, she would start to believe it.

She found the exact recipe she was looking for, mixed the batter, then popped it in the oven. She made her way to the bathroom and showered for the day, hoping to wash away all those bad memories.

Once she was dressed and on her second cup of coffee, she pulled the coffee cake out and set it aside, mixing up the frosting she was going to slather on top.

She was hoping Vin was up, and if not, well, maybe he’d answer the door all rumpled and sexy and she could appreciate the sight of that again.

When she opened her door, she saw flowers sitting there. Just a few red roses. No note. Nothing. Just left there. Three of them. A symbol maybe? For the three times last night? That was a funny thought, putting a huge smile on her face. Yeah, Vin just wiped away all those nightmares from her past.

She brought them back into her apartment and filled a vase with some water, putting them in. Then went into the hallway and over to Vin’s.

 

***

 

He knew right away who was knocking on his door. He could pretend he wasn’t home, but it wouldn’t do any good. Piper could just look in the parking lot and see his car.

He had left this morning. Ran out to the store quick when most people would consider it still the middle of the night, picked up a few groceries, and came back. He hadn’t been able to sleep, so he didn’t even try.

Instead he pulled his weights out of his closet and went through a workout routine, hoping it’d exhaust him enough, but it didn’t. He should have been worn out as it was, but since he was still wide awake, he figured no exercise routine would tire him either.

He made his way to the door and pulled it open. There she was, standing there in shorts and a T-shirt. Barefoot again. Like she was walking around the same house they might have shared rather than walking in the hallway to get to his door.

What she was holding told him he was getting breakfast and he was going to love it. The homey smell of cinnamon mixed with a vanilla sweetness. “Come on in,” he said.

She looked at him, tilted her head, then brushed against him, gave him a kiss, and all those insecurities about last night just vanished. “Good morning. I thought maybe you’d need some fuel today.”

“I’ve had one workout already, so I could use some sugar.”

“Sugar here?” she said, holding the pan up. “Or sugar here?” she said, wrapping one arm around his neck and pulling him in.

“Both,” he said, surprising himself for saying that out loud. So much for keeping things close to his chest.

“Now you’re thinking,” she said, walking right by him and sitting at his counter. Making herself at home once again.

“About what?”

“About what happened last night. Which, by the way, was pretty darn spectacular. I’m kind of hoping to have a few more nights like that in the future.”

“Only a few?” he asked.

“Well, as many as we want. But you’re thinking, what’s the next step? That you’ve only known me a few weeks. We’ve had a few dates. We had fabulous sex and oh crap, she lives next door to me. I can’t avoid her now even if I wanted to. Not unless I move out. But then you’d be breaking your lease and that’d cost you a lot more money than just being honest with me.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you do a really good job of portraying someone that doesn’t know as much as you do? That you’re damn intuitive?”

“I don’t hide much. I guess I just judge people well. And those I can’t, I keep talking to them until I figure it out. I didn’t need to talk to you all that much. Actions speak louder in your case. So am I right?”

“About what?” he asked, as she grabbed the knife out of his hand and sliced him a generous slab of coffee cake. He swiped his finger across the frosting on top, putting it in his mouth to suck on it for a second, thinking about last night, then taking a bite of the cake, ignoring the fork she’d put next to him and opting to dive right in.

“Now you’re just teasing me.” She cut her own slice, did the same thing he did, and had him getting hard. Damn.

“Maybe I like to tease.” He never had before. Maybe it wasn’t as much about finding himself now as it was about becoming a different person.

“In this case, I think I’m right, but you don’t have to admit it. So I’ll start. Last night was great. It was awesome. But it’s not changing a ton of things.”

He lifted his eyebrow. “Meaning?”

“Meaning that I’m not trying to pressure you for anything. Or ask for anything. I don’t do relationships well. This could be awkward or sticky, and I don’t want it to be.”

“Why don’t you do relationships?” He should be happy she said that, eliminating any fears he had, but instead he was…annoyed.

“Long story. Probably goes back to my childhood.”

“Are we back to that again? Last time you did that so I’d be left on the hook.”

She giggled. “And it worked,” she said, pointing her finger.

“You played me.” Let her think that. He knew what he was doing. But she was smiling and keeping this light, and it was the way to go right now.

“I’ll be serious. I’ve been on my own most of my life. I’m not used to being with someone. Relying on anyone. Even consulting or making plans with anyone. I like to come and go as I please.”

“So now what?”

“I don’t know. You see, the thing is, I’m thinking maybe I need to grow up. Maybe I need to stop being selfish and look at other people. Consider other people’s thoughts, opinions, feelings.”

“You’re the least selfish person I know,” he said.

She was younger than him and much more mature. Everything she was saying was hitting home in more ways than one, and he was starting to realize that maybe that was why he was drawn to her. That they had so much more in common on a deeper level.

“Probably not. I don’t know. I guess I’m a little confused this morning. I thought I’d be upset over you being gone from my bed when I woke, but I wasn’t. Then I asked myself why and started to think. And the more I thought, the more I realized that I’ve always held a part of myself back.”

“And now you don’t want to?” There was the fear he was hoping not to experience. She managed to bring it out. Confusing and contradicting his thoughts once again. Reminding him he had to stay on his toes.

“I don’t know. And you just paled, so that tells me I shouldn’t have said that.”

No use denying that either. “What’s the next step?”

“I don’t really have one. And that alone is saying something. I think, honestly, we should just play it by ear. We both have lives, businesses. I don’t know much about yours and I get the feeling you want to keep it that way. That’s fine, for now. I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to. Just like I figured you’d talk about all those scars on your body if you wanted to.”

“You’ve got just as many scars. Yours just aren’t visible to the average person.”

She hesitated. “You’re right. See? Maybe we are more alike than I thought we’d be. Maybe that’s why this is different for me.”

“Could be.”

“Will you admit the same?” she asked, challenging him. “That is this different for you too?”

“Do I need to?” he said, winking at her.

“You just did. So now that that is out of the way, come here and greet me properly.”

He did. He pulled her off the stool, and yanked her forward, held her tight, but kissed her softly, thinking he was ready to look at his life and start making some serious decisions.