HOLLY

FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, HOLLY did what she said she’d do. Every time she caught sight of Jake, she walked the other way. If she never spoke to him again, it would be too soon.

As happened in the medical profession, not everyone could be saved. A third patient died, a boy named Bennie. Teresse had let her scrub in, and throughout the ordeal, Teresse had truly tried to do everything humanly possible to save the child, but nothing worked.

Holly felt defeated. Derailed. Overthrown. It felt like every patient she encountered died. This loss made it the third in a row. It wasn’t a good sign. Although she was devastated, surprisingly she handled it better than Teresse. Holly found her on the stairs, crying. Bennie had been one of her favorites, that much she could tell. Holly hadn’t known him that well, only that he’d been twelve. Life sucked.

The stairwell door opened. Holly’s heart dropped when she saw who it was, and she wanted to escape the sanctuary of the stairwell. 

Jake was silent for a while, and he handed them each a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Only then did he say, “This is how we deal with losses at P&E, especially those closest to our hearts.” He looked down at Teresse, completely ignoring Holly, then turned on his heels and left.

Both women sat there, staring at his retreating back until the door closed behind him. The guy was nuts.

“Fucking ice cream,” Holly said.

Teresse gave a hollow laugh, looking at her tub. “Why the hell not? Maybe it works.”

Holly shrugged. They dug in, and while they ate, Teresse told her all about Bennie. Holly listened, understanding why she was taking this particular patient’s death so hard.

“You see, even the attendings have favorites, and we still struggle from time to time.”

“I’m never going to be able to deal with so much death.”

“Holly, you are handling this one better than I am. I have to say, I was worried about you. I’ve seen so many brilliant doctors in the making quit because of it. We work against a higher power, and even though at times I have my doubts, I know He is there. I hate the fact that when He decides it is time, it’s time. It doesn’t matter how old the label around their neck is. That’s what I struggle with the most—the faith. He makes me feel so unimportant sometimes.”

“I know the feeling all too well.”

“We just need to find a way to get Him on our side and fix them.” 

“And you do, with most of them.” Holly took another spoonful of ice cream and pushed it into her mouth.

“It doesn’t feel like that lately. We always remember the ones we couldn’t save, then wonder what they would have become if they’d made it. We shouldn’t fret over it, Holly. It will only bring hate to your heart. Thrive on the Tys of this world who get that second chance. That is what this job is all about. I meant what I said earlier. Whatever department you choose, you are just one of those doctors people will end up loving. Learn how to deal with the horrible side of this.” Sighing, she stood up. “I have to go and tell his mother he didn’t make it.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, you’re not ready for this yet.”

“I’ll come with you, Teresse. The quicker I learn to deal with this, the better. I don’t want to quit.”

Nodding, Teresse smiled.

********

Over the next couple of weeks, things went well. Holly wasn’t going out of her way to avoid Jake like before, but she wasn’t speaking to him, either. He had no choice but to get used to her. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Whenever she and Teresse lost a patient, the idiot would bring them Ben and Jerry’s if he was around. He was like the All-Knowing around the hospital, or so it seemed. The third time he brought them ice cream, Holly wanted to tell him exactly where he should shove it, because Ben and his good friend, fucking Jerry, didn’t help one bit. But she kept it to herself. She ended up eating it, anyway. Teresse, however, waxed lyrical about him, making him sound like an angel.

The death count around her rose as the weeks ticked by—now standing at a total of six. For six months, all had gone well, but things had changed. Of course, Holly blamed it all on Jake. He was a bad omen. Yet another sign that she should avoid him completely. But then, after one surgery, both she and Teresse walked out of the OR relieved at finally having saved a life. 

Just outside the doors, they turned to see Jake exiting the OR next to theirs. He was in a bad mood, grunting as he removed his bandanna and threw it hard against the wall. He kicked the trash can next to him. Both of them flinched. He went down on his haunches, his head dropped into his hands, and his shoulders started to shake. Holly wondered if he was crying. She was just about to take a step in his direction, when Desire walked out and crouched next to him, her hand gently touching his shoulder.

Seeing Jake like this broke Holly’s heart. She couldn’t stop looking at him. She jumped when Teresse put a hand on her arm.

“Let’s give him some space,” she whispered.

Sighing, she followed Teresse back to pediatrics, but she couldn’t get the image of Jake looking so broken out of her head. So he was human, after all. She felt sorry for him. Perhaps she should take him a tub of ice cream. She wouldn’t. Jake made her weak, and she refused to show him her weakness. For her daughter’s sake and well-being, she didn’t act on it.

As her thoughts turned to Jamie, she realized she still had no clue how to tell her daughter that she had a brother. Why would she, anyway? It would only ruin Jamie’s fairytale. Jamie was far too young to comprehend the complexities. There was no way Holly could do that to Jamie.

Parting ways with Teresse after they cleaned up, she took the stairs down to the first floor, then took the main stairs to reception. She needed to file the last patient’s chart. She was exhausted, not only from the surgery, but from the emotions Jake cause to swirl around inside her.

Holly found an empty on-call room on the third level. When she fell onto the bed, she was numb. She didn’t want to cry about the what-ifs and the whys anymore, and she certainly didn’t want to scream, either. She’d been dealt a bad hand, which was pretty much how her life was going to be from now on.

Jake’s son popped into her head. It amazed her that the little boy was the spitting image of his mother, whereas Jamie had been bestowed with the Peters genes. Why Rod still hadn’t picked up on Jamie’s paternity was beyond her. Questions filled her mind, questions she had no answers to.

It wasn’t long before she fell into a blissful sleep.

******

Holly’s birthday arrived. Rod and Bridgette had made plans to go to Downstairs, a bar, after work. They weren’t the least bit interested in her excuses. The name sounded familiar, and she wondered if it was the same bar Rod had, on numerous occasions, invited her to. She’d always declined.

“Happy birthday to you,” Teresse, and a few members of staff, sang to her while they all stood around the reception desk, where everyone could hear them.

Dr. Downsend stopped by to wish her a happy birthday and gave her a small hug. He wanted to send her home for the day, but Holly declined.

Holly watched another surgery, which only finished around two. When she got back to reception, a huge bouquet of tiger lilies, her favorite flowers, sat on the counter. 

“These just came for you.”

“What, the flowers?” Holly grinned when Aggie nodded.

There was a card, too. She couldn’t stop smiling; this had Rod written all over it. Pulling the card out from the between the flowers, she opened it. It read:

Happy B-day, Bee Puke.

The lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. Only one man had ever called her that, and he was the last man on God’s green earth she’d expected to get anything from.

As there was no signature, Holly sighed. She didn’t have the energy to decipher this one.

“Are you okay?” Aggie asked.

“Yes, sorry. I’m perfectly fine. Just don’t like birthdays very much.”

“Holly, I love birthdays,” she said, bending over to retrieve something out of her bag. When sat up again, she handed Holly a gift.

“Ugh, Aggie!”

“Stop your whining and take it. It’s not much, but I did make it myself.”

Smiling at Aggie, she took the gift, and unwrapped it. Inside, she found a yellow knitted beanie, the girly kind. Going around to Aggie, she gave the woman a huge hug. “It is perfect, thank you so much, Aggie.”

“I’ve seen you on numerous occasions wearing one, but I’ve never seen a yellow one, and I told myself, that girl needs a bright yellow one.”

Holly laughed. “Thank you, I actually have something it will match perfectly,” she said. She walked away to do her rounds, but not without a last backward glance at the flowers. Why on earth would Jake send her flowers?

The end of her shift neared. Holly really wasn’t in the mood to go to the bar she was being dragged to. When she walked out of Downsend, Rod was waiting for her. He’d finally managed to get a day off and decided to pick her up.

After a quick shower and change once they got home, they were soon off again. She wore a miniskirt, cowboy boots, and the cowboy hat Rod had bought for her, since that was the evening’s theme. Her stomach was in knots. She couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if she ran into Amelia. She wished in silence that time would stop as she thought about the other four Peterses who were still roaming Boston.

She could handle Jake, she’d proved that, but Amelia was another story. She knew she would confront her. Knew she would ask her why. Why had she stood by her brother’s decision when she couldn’t have any children? She’d always thought if Amelia had just stayed, things would’ve been different. But she’d also broken Holly’s heart when it finally sank in that none of them wanted the babies.

In the end, she knew she’d probably tell her about Romy and Jamie.

Once Rod parked the car, he got out and ran to her door, opened it, then bent down to take her hand, as if she were a celebrity who needed to be helped out of a car. He was such a gentleman when it came to women. Pity he was gay.

A large sign emblazoned with Downstairs, a set of zigzags, and a martini glass welcomed them. Ever the gentleman, Rod opened the door. Before Holly even managed to take one step, she noticed that the very first table her eyes went to was occupied by Jake, Kate, and two other people, one a male and the other a female with dark hair. Closing her eyes, she willed her heart to stop beating erratically. Her worst fear had just come true. How she’d had a feeling that this shit was bound to happen, she couldn’t fathom, but it always played out according to fate.

Holly hid behind Rod, just as the girl at their table laughed. Thankfully, it wasn’t Amelia. She had prepared herself well for that eventuality. Holly was ready to tell her how she felt about her betrayal.

Exhaling, she thanked her lucky stars she was home free when Rod led the way. She didn’t think Jake saw them enter, so she breathed easy again. All she needed was for Jake to notice them and then question Rod as to how he knew her. And Rod, not being any the wiser, would more than likely happily, tell Jake about their friendship, which would include mentioning Jamie.

Without warning, Rod made a U-turn when a woman called his name.

Shit, shit, shit!

Rod was smiling from ear to ear, which could only mean he’d seen Jake. She tried desperately to pull her hands from his grip, but he only held on tighter, pulling her along with him to Jake’s table. Her stomach churned. 

“Hey, what the hell are you doing here Rod asked while she hid behind him, desperate not to be seen. 

Jake laughed. “The grownups needed a break.”

“Michael staying at your mom’s?”

“Yes, it’s about freaking time, too,” a female voice replied. More than likely Kate’s. The woman then told Rod a joke, which had Holly rolling her eyes. But when Rod failed to get the punch line, a surge of happiness rolled through her.

Jake laughed, though, the hardest.

Kate sounded like a fucking airhead. How she’d become a doctor was beyond her. She was probably great in bed, and most likely the reason Jake had ended up with her. Stupid fucking idiot. The minute she thought those words, the bouquet of flowers jumped into her head again.

As fast as she could, she pulled her hand out of Rod’s, gestured toward the bar with her head when he looked back at her. At his nod, she hightailed it to the bar.

“Birthday slut, over here!” Bridgette yelled, standing on her chair in the corner. It went without saying that the entire bar heard, and raucous laughter broke out in the bar. Holly’s face turned red when heads turned her way. She gasped as she approached the table. Oliver, Teresse, and her roommates were all seated at the table. When she approached them, everyone got up to kiss her on the cheek.

“I must tell you that I’ve seen someone practically crawl out of Rev’s room every morning, I wonder who it is?” Holly teased, kissing Bridge on both cheeks.

“Ha ha,” said Bridgette, swinging her arm around Holly to give her a hug.

“What is this?” Holly asked, in turn hugging Teresse, and then Ollie. “And here I thought you had to work, mister.” She looked at Rev, who was smiling at her.

“Your birthday party, of course,” Teresse said.

Holly’s eyes scanned the table top. It was lined with presents. She shook her head.

“Look at you. Where did these curls come from, missy?” Teresse asked.

“I didn’t have time to pull my straightener through it.”

“That’s natural?” Teresse huffed. Holly pulled a face. “They are gorgeous, you lucky cow.”

“Sit, birthday slut,” Bridge practically shoved her onto the chair. She removed her cowboy hat and replaced it with a tiara.

Holly laughed.

Rod eventually returned with an insane amount of shots on a tray. On the count of three, the shots were downed, followed by whistles and cheers. But she wasn’t done, because Rod handed her a tall, fizzy drink.

“What’s this?” she asked him.

“Drink and be jolly.”

She shook her head but drank it anyway.

A couple of drinks later, which had been accompanied by jokes and loud laughter that made her stomach ache, her presents were placed in front of her. Shyly, she opened them one by one, thanking everyone in turn. She got a beautiful bracelet from Rod, who helped her put it on. Julia and Rev had pooled their money to give her a Guess gift card. Teresse had gotten her a lovely throw for her bed, and from Ollie, she got another gift card.

“Not so fast. Here’s mine.” Bridge placed a weirdly shaped and wrapped object in front of her, which to Holly, looked like a vibrator. “You need this. Badly. You cannot, my friend, cope without it. And since you’re not getting the real thing…” she trailed off. 

“Oh my fuck. What did on earth did you get me!” Holly yelled, without meaning to. Her mind was fuzzy because Rod kept placing drink after drink in front of her every half hour or so.

“I bought you the vegetarian kind.”

“The vegetarian kind?”

“They say tofu is just as good as meat, but fuck tofu, I say. Find yourself a piece of meat, girl, because there’s nothing like the real thing.”

Bridgette placed a bottle of whipped cream on the table, then pushed the vibrator closer to Holly. Giggling, she shook her head; this kind of thing was so typical of Bridgette. The others were cracking up with laughter.

“Do I have to open it right now?”

“Hell, yes, you do. I need to know if you can handle this fucker.”

Blushing at her friends’ laughter, Holly tore the paper off.

“Bridge, seriously!”

“Why is your face so red Holly? We’re all adults here,” Rev teased.

“Shut up!” She pointed a finger at him.

“I’m so sorry about this, Teresse. I promise, I’m not this kind of girl.”

“Hear, hear!” Rod shouted.

Oh, for heaven’s sake! Keep your voice down. It would just be her luck if this vibrator caused either Rev or Rod to blurt anything about a certain little girl she had back home. She’d really be screwed then.

She ventured a quick look at the bar, running her eyes over Jake’s table. He was still there. She was embarrassed to open her present in front of Ollie and Teresse. But in the end, she did, since she didn’t really have a choice.

“Shots!” yelled Rod. A waitress appeared with a bottle, then filled everyone’s glasses.

“I’m too scared to ask what the cream is for.” Holly looked at Bridge.

“You know exactly what the cream is for.”

Bridgette grabbed the vibrator out of her hand, waving it around for all to see. Holly felt her face burn from embarrassment. The entire bar was cheering. She covered her head with her arms, willing herself to become invisible. If a hole would’ve just opened up in the floor, she would have gladly thrown herself into it.

Hearing a sputtering sound, Holly looked up and groaned. Bridgette was squirting the whipped cream on the vibrator’s tip.

Smiling, Bridgette handed the cream-topped vibrator to Holly and said, “A little demonstration, if you please.”

“No. Fucking. Way.” Holly wanted to die.

“Party pooper, party pooper,” was shouted around the table.

“C’mon, Holly, be a sport!” begged Rod.

“Shot!” Holly yelled.

With four shots downed for liquid courage, she went for it. Bringing the tip of the vibrator to her mouth, she deliberately licked the whipped cream off, slowly. It was a messy job.

Her friends cheered her on, and Rod gave a resounding whistle when the vibrator was completely clean. In the spirit of being a good sport, Holly stood, bowed, then fell back onto the chair, almost missing it completely. Bridgette laughed along with Holly. Rod managed to grab her before she fell to the floor.

“If you want my number, I’ll be here all night!” a stranger yelled across the bar at her. Rod thought it hilarious, and he laughed hysterically.

“Get in line, mister!” Oliver yelled.

Holly’s eyes grew and she pulled a face at Ollie. She was sure Jake would have heard that.

“See? You’re already raking in the numbers,” Rod whispered to her.

“Oh, I don’t need numbers anymore,” she said, hitting Rod playfully on the head with her new toy, one she knew she would never use.

Abruptly, the music in the bar stopped. Following everyone’s eyes, Holly saw one of the waiters roll out a trolley. An obscene amount of shots was on the trolley, carefully stacked up in the form of a cake with a sparkler on an actual small cake right on top. It looked stunning. Every single person in the bar sang to her. Shyly, she stood, then bowed to everyone.

“Okay, Holls.” Rod pushed her down. “Please, grace us with one of your songs.”

Holly laughed again. “I’m not there yet.”

“What song?” Bridgette had gotten louder and louder as the night went on.

“One you will maybe hear tonight, depending on my mood later on.”

Rod told them about the hilarious songs Holly made up whenever she was drunk. That only had Bridgette egging her on more.

“That’s not how it works.”

Bridgette tickled her upper thigh, which had her jumping in her seat, laughing. She had to admit, she was having the time of her life. She was having such a good time, she didn’t give two shits if Jake had seen it all, couldn’t have cared less. Maybe that display had made him remember exactly how she’d been. And if that made him feel a tinge of regret, she was more than happy.

JAKE

Of all the nights Kate could have arranged for Michael to sleep over at her parents’ place, she had to pick tonight. He didn’t want to do this with her anymore. Holly constantly occupied his mind, and he felt extremely guilty about it. He was being forced to do one thing when he really wanted to do another.

He smiled inwardly, wondering what she’d thought about the bouquet of flowers he’d secretly ordered for her, and if she’d even realized they were from him. He’d had no idea it was her birthday today, but when he heard the staff singing and then saw Downsend hugging her, he’d wished he could’ve taken Downsend’s place for those few short seconds.

He’d told the florist he was buying them on behalf of a friend, going so far as to pretend he was talking to someone when he in fact chatted to an empty chair, so that Samuel, the florist he usually purchased Kate’s roses from, would buy his story. He even jokingly added that his friend needed the words Happy B-day, Bee Puke written on the card. Sam bought the whole story. Jake couldn’t believe how good he’d become at deceiving people.

Tonight, he was going to have to pretend bigtime, like never before. He wasn’t in the mood to have sex with Kate, and he knew she’d be all over him as soon as they got home. For the past few weeks he’d been like a hound dog, banging her whenever his fancy took him, but it wasn’t because of what she did to him. It was all because of Holly. He loved Kate, without a doubt, but he ached for Holly, would always ache for her, and now that she was within his reach, it killed him that he couldn’t do anything about it.

Just then, his phone vibrated.

We are having drinks with Toni and Gustave, seven at Downstairs. XOXO

Cool, he replied.

He was relieved, though he’d have to pretend that he was horribly drunk and not feeling well. Luckily, he still knew how to fake a throw-up session.

He couldn’t believe he was starting to contemplate this plan. He was sure this was his gut telling him Kate wasn’t the one for him, and that he should call off their wedding. But… what would he tell his mother, his entire his family? That Holly had come back and was messing with his mind?

How could he put his family through that all over again? He never thought he’d forgive her so easily. It felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, his grandmother had always said that if you loved someone, you loved them warts and all, and God knew he loved Holly.

On the other hand, his family would never forgive her for what she’d done to him. A horrid thought crossed his mind, but he tried to imagine what life would be like without any of his siblings, his parents. He couldn’t fathom the thought. As much as he loved Holly, he loved his family, too.

He took a shower at Downsend, then dressed in jeans, a button-up shirt, and his leather jacket. Grabbing his keys, he left. He pulled into Downstairs’s parking lot shortly before seven. He found Kate, Toni, and Gustave already seated at a table right by the entrance.

Gustave smiled and got up. “Hey, bud,” he greeted, shaking Jake’s hand and slapping him on the back. Looking over Gustave’s shoulder, Jake saw Toni smiling at him. “Long time no see.”

“I know, work is hectic.”

“Jake’s mission in life is to save every head case,” Kate joked. Even her lame, fucking jokes were starting to annoy him.

The conversation flowed, and drinks were ordered. Thankfully, the waitress was quick on her feet, and his Chivas on the rocks was placed in front of him within minutes. Looking around the bar curiously, his eyes landed on a table against the far corner and was surprised to see two interns from P&E there. Squinting, he saw Teresse with them. Scrunching his eyebrows, he wondered why she was there with them since she worked at Downsend. The door clanged again. Jake felt irritable. Why the hell Kate always put them right in front of the entrance was a huge fucking mystery.

“Rodney,” Kate exclaimed. He looked up and saw Rod’s figure walking towards their table.

Listening with one ear, Jake realized Kate was making another lame joke, and forced himself to laugh along with the rest of the table when Rodney didn’t get it. He leaned back in his chair to look past Rod, and caught a glimmer of short, strawberry blonde curls peeking out from beneath a cowboy hat. Abruptly, the girl turned and headed toward the bar. He felt as if someone had knocked the air from his lungs. Not to give how he was feeling away, Jake smiled at Rod and joined in the conversation, but in the back of his mind he couldn’t help wondering how the hell Rod, a guy he worked with every single day, knew Holly. Had it been her who’d given Ty’s files to Rod? It couldn’t be.

“We’re here, birthday slut!” he heard someone yell. Kate and Rod continued to joke with one another, but he wasn’t paying them the least bit of attention. “Look, I’ve got to go, but enjoy your night,” Rod’s voice brought him back to the present. Tipping his cowboy hat at them, Rod left.

For the remainder of the evening, Jake was distracted. At one point, he heard dares being yelled from the table in the corner. Practically everyone in the club turned to look, Jake included. The last thing he’d expected to see was Holly licking cream off a… vibrator. Inwardly, he groaned.

The bar exploded in raucous cheering. Jake fumed, disliking the comment from a fucker who yelled that he wanted her number.

“Get in line, mister!” Oliver yelled, too. 

Jake was convinced that that fucking asshole wanted a piece of her. It made him green with jealousy.

Jake closed his eyes as Holly’s laughter reached his ears. He forced himself to remain seated because all he really wanted to do was get up and go join their party.

“Ugh, I can’t stand girls who dye their hair strawberry blonde,” Kate snickered. “She works at Downsend, right?” she asked Jake.

“Who?” Jake feigned his ignorance at her question.

“That girl over there.” She pointed at Holly. “The one who just practically acted in a mini-porno with that vibrator. Some women are so cheap.”

“Oh, I didn’t notice. I go to hospitals to save lives, Kate, not check out their employees. Besides, I only have eyes for you.”

“Aww,” Toni cooed, giving Gustave a scolding look. “Why don’t you say such sweet things to me anymore?”

Kate giggled and touched his chin, planting a juicy kiss on his lips. “Good comeback, mister.”

“It’s not a comeback, it’s the truth. I have no idea who she is, or whether she works at Downsend or not.”

Smiling, she turned to speak to Toni. Jake hated the lies. Jake had told Kate about Holly, but she had no clue what Holly looked like. Only that she’d had strawberry blonde hair. Kate had also become obsessed with strawberry blondes, but she couldn’t tell the difference between the natural kind and the one achieved via a bottle. She really wasn’t one of the smartest women around, since her cousin had tried to change her blonde hair to a strawberry blonde. It was pathetic, but what could he do? 

He watched Holly go off somewhere, holding hands with Rod. For the first time since he’d met him, Jake hated him just a tiny bit. He drained his glass. He had to leave before they got back.

Calling the waitress over, Jake settled the bill, giving some lame-ass excuse that he needed to pick up some files at P&E. Thankfully, both Gustave and Toni bought it. Outside, he gave Gustave a playful slap on his back and dropped a friendly kiss on Toni’s cheek. “See you guys soon. Drive safely,” he said, slipping his hand into Kate’s. He felt Kate squeezing his hand and led the way to her car.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned in closer. Jake stroked her back softly as she whispered in his ear. “Don’t take too long. We don’t get alone time anymore.”

He chuckled. “Oh, yeah? What is it, exactly, that you have planned for me tonight?”

“Just get your ass home, mister, and you’ll see.”

Bending slightly, Jake kissed her on the lips.

“Hurry up,” she said again, and he winked.

Once he’d settled her in her car, he closed the door and walked to his SUV, doing the same. He started his vehicle, then drove behind her a ways, until he had to turn off toward P&E. Kate honked once and disappeared down the road. When Jake stopped at the traffic light, he banged his head hard against the window. He’d wanted to wish Holly a happy birthday so badly. He sat there with that thought lingering in his head. Fuck it. He was going to do it. Making a U-turn, he drove back to the parking lot he’d just vacated, parked, got out of his vehicle, then strode to the entrance.

Tonight, he would kiss her. Even if it was just the top of her head, but he was going to wish her a fucking happy birthday.

HOLLY

“Come, my princess,” sweet-talked Rod, “it’s time to dance like we’ve never danced before.” He grabbed her hand and led her down the stairs to the dance floor. Bridgette followed, too, with Julia and Rev in tow.

They danced to a few songs until Holly needed to something to quench her thirst. A beer would do just that. She couldn’t handle another sweet cocktail. Reaching the bar proved difficult, though, and she found herself squeezing past a throng of people.

“Hi, you the birthday girl tonight?” the girl attending bar asked her.

“Yes, I am.” Holly placed her tiara on the bar’s counter.

“Happy birthday to you…” she sang. “What will it be?”

“Any shot will do, thanks, and a light beer as well,” Holly replied. “I feel the need to pass out tonight.”

The girl laughed, placing a shot glass in front of Holly. Grabbing a bottle off the shelf, she poured a dark purple liquid into the shot glass.

Bringing it to her mouth, Holly downed the purple liquid. Her eyes closed, and her lips formed a sour pout as the liquid traveled down her throat. Placing the shot glass down on the counter, she tapped it twice with her forefinger.

“Make that another two!” Jake’s voice yelled from beside her.

Surprised, Holly turned and smiled, then did a double-take. “What are you doing here?”

“Same as you, taking a break!” he yelled over the loud music. “I didn’t know it was your birthday today.”

She shrugged. Then who the hell sent the flowers? She didn’t know when his birthday was, either. “Guess we had other things on our minds back then,” she said.

Jake laughed, raising his eyebrows once, knowing exactly what was on his mind back then.

The bartender filled two shot glasses with the same purple liquid. Holly grabbed one, and Jake the other. “To getting older,” he toasted.

“And hopefully wiser,” she added.

Laughing, they downed their shots. The strong liquid burned its way down to her stomach. Jake never so much as flinched. He threw a couple of dollar bills onto the counter, for which the bartender thanked him. 

Smiling, he bent over the bar to speak to the bartender. Holly didn’t know if she should just turn around and attempt to find the others who were somewhere on the dance floor, or if she should just stay right where she was. 

“So, how old are you?” he asked.

“How on earth do you not know that? Twenty-eight.”

“Two more years and you’ll hit the big three-oh.”

He ignored her first remark. Had she meant that little to him that he’d never even known how old she was?

“It sounds ancient,” Holly said.

“You only start to live around thirty, Holly.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

The bartender put a drink on the rocks in front of Jake. Holly remembered that Jake loved beer and occasionally a Jack Daniels or Chivas on the rocks. Whether they were still his drinks of choice, she didn’t know. Holly took a sip from her light beer.

Jake sipped his, too, but ended up downing it in one big gulp. She watched him put his glass on the counter. He gestured with his hand when the bartender asked if he wanted another one. Turning slightly, he took a step closer and stared into Holly’s eyes. He was so close she could smell his cologne. Her head started to spin from his scent. She’d missed the way he smelled, she’d missed everything about him, especially being this close to him.

“I guess this is me wishing you a wonderful birthday. I hope there will be many more, Holly Scallanger, and that they are filled with excitement, happiness, and lots of love.”

Her throat closed up because Jake had whispered his wish in her ear. Her skin tingled. Jake… talking about love and happiness. Then, he did the unexpected. Cupping her face gently with both hands, he lowered his head to hers and kissed the top of her head softly. His lips felt as if they were scorching her scalp. That was how much she’d missed those lips on her. The sensation of feeling that again burned her.

The warmth and softness of his lips lingered for a few seconds longer, then it disappeared. Jake smiled at her, turned around, then started walking away. Holly couldn’t help but watch him disappear through the crowd gyrating on the dance floor. She hated watching him leave. Turning to the bar, she put her elbows on the counter, and dropped her head into her hands. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She heard the bartender say. When she looked up, the girl had further to say. “If someone like that kissed me on the head, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

Holly giggled. “It was just an innocent birthday kiss.”

“Honey, I’m always surrounded by couples, and guys trying to pick up girls. Girls throwing themselves at guys. You name it, I’ve seen it. But if that Greek god came over to me and melted while giving me ‘just an innocent birthday kiss,’” she finger quoted, “I would grab him right then and there and kiss the living shit out of him.”

“Melted?”

“You didn’t see what I saw. He didn’t want that kiss to end.”

Shit, that meant her mother was right. He wasn’t done with her yet. Holly gnawed on her bottom lip, trying to picture what the bartender had seen.

“It’s not too late. There is only one way out of this club. You can still catch him before he leaves.”

Holly didn’t have to ask, For what? She knew the answer. Heaven knew she wanted him back, but what about his little boy and fiancée? 

Her legs did the walking, while her mind tried to rationally think things through. What if she jumped him and he didn’t do anything, or worse, what if he stopped her? She would never be able to look at him again, knowing he’d rejected her a second time. Still, her feet didn’t plan to stop. She walked faster toward the stairs, just in time to catch a glimpse of his black leather jacket. He was a couple feet away from the stairs. She hastened her steps, squeezing between a few more people. He turned back to look at the bar, to where she’d been a couple of minutes ago, but his gaze didn’t linger. 

Squeezing past two men, she ran up the first couple of steps, her path blocked by a blonde bimbo standing between herself and Jake. She slipped her hand past and around the girl, as her heart raced faster in her chest. As soon as her fingers touched his, electricity sparked as it ran up and down her entire body.

Jake stopped, turned his head, and looked down at her. She bit the corner of her lower lip. She had no idea what she wanted to say. She felt stupid. She should have given this more thought.

His grip tightened around her hand, and she knew it wasn’t the rejection she’d feared. He tugged on her hand, pulling her toward the back of the club.

In that moment, she didn’t give a shit about Kate anymore, or about his son. Hell, she had a five-year-old who was his kid, too. What about her?

Holly followed him, her fingers still entwined with his, as they maneuvered past several people. She had no clue where the hell he was taking her. She was surprised she wasn’t drunk enough to jump him. Yet, here she was, not giving a shit about moral standards at all.

His hand was toasty warm, which sent tingles up and down her spine. When Jake found a dark, secluded corner, he stopped. To her surprise, he pushed her hard against the wall, and his lips descended to touch hers feverishly. The kiss felt exactly like the first time she’d kissed him inside his mother’s RV. The night she’d broken the bottle of Sambuca, and they’d had to mop up the blue liquid from the floor using a dishcloth. She’d felt awful then, but when his lips had touched hers, it had all disappeared. Exactly as was happening now, her worries about Kate and Michael evaporated. It was only them and the wall. 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she twirled her legs around his waist like a pretzel, her fingers tangling in his hair. Both breathed heavily as if they couldn’t get enough air—but weren’t prepared to stop, either. Her heart raced, and her skin tingled as his hands ducked below her skirt to plunge into the skin right below her ass and thigh. 

He pushed against her harder, deepening their kiss. Her ears started to ring and her blood started to sing. He was driving her insane. 

And then, abruptly, he stopped. His lips lingered close to her earlobe. His breathing was ragged, his voice raspy when he spoke. “I really want to stay, but I really have to go.” He brushed his lips against her neck and her eyes closed involuntary. She bit her lower lip, which was swollen from all the sucking, and when his lips trailed across her cheek to her lips, he gave her a final, soft kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your birthday.” His lips moved against hers, and she could feel his smile forming. Playfully, she tugged on her upper lip with her teeth as her feet touched the ground. “Just not too much fun, please.”

Sighing, she sucked in her lips as she watched him turn and head back toward the staircase. But this time, she didn’t watch him leave. Fuck. She just couldn’t. Instead, she remained where he’d left her for a short while, trying to ground herself again. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she straightened her shoulders, then headed back out to the dance floor.

Fuck, did that seriously just happen?