Chapter 14
Ashley
Donna was asleep. Frank and I were in the kitchen talking. It is the same thing that we had done for some time, but it felt different now. I thought way different. It felt like there was something between us now, and neither one of us knew what to do with it. I knew that he was my boss, but I also know that I wanted more from him. Ever since seeing him with the blonde he had brought home, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was already thinking about him to begin with, but now is even worse.
“Did you guys have a good weekend?”
“I think so, Donna has changed so much in the last week. It's like she's a child again. It is like she went back to childhood. For so long, I think she was being so brave for me. Putting on a face, but it also seemed to backlash in everything that she did. She started to talk back again, got in a lot of trouble at school. Donna was never like that before...”
It was the information that I was looking for. I was still trying to figure out what had happened at this house, this family. I was still wondering what happened to the woman in the picture, what happened to Donna's mom.
I waited for a moment before I said anything, hoping that he would keep going. It was obvious that the two of them had something that they were grieving over, and it was starting to make sense to me, even though I didn't have the details.
“Sometimes things happen in children lives and it takes time for them to process it. It takes longer than it does for some adults, though it looks like both of you are grieving.”
“Is it that obvious?”
I told him that it was, but I didn't get into the why. To be honest, I wasn't sure of the why. All I knew for certain was that something bad happened.
It wasn't unheard of for a woman to leave the family, but it was unlikely. I couldn’t imagine anyone leaving Frank and Donna. There had to have been something that kept her away and the obvious answer was something more permanent.
Well when Evelyn died in the car accident, both of us needed some time. I had been working all the time, trying to make partner and focusing on that, but after that happened, I had to figure out how to be a dad. I mean, we did things together as a family, but I didn't even really know my daughter. Evelyn had done such a good job that she never made me feel bad for being gone all the time, but I realize now that I was. I know this might sound horrible, but me and Donna have never been closer. That is the silver lining.”
“She doesn't even talk about her. I brought up parents one time and she kind of got this look in her eyes, but she didn't say anything else. She's going to grieve her for a while, but I will do my best to keep her mind off of it. I don’t think that is something that you ever forget about or get over. I am sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I don't know what it is you're doing Ashley, but you have really turned her around.”
I told him that I hadn't done anything at all. I just listened to her, talked to her, that was it. I made her an omelet every morning for breakfast and we played together and did things, but we never really talk about anything important. I think she was naturally trying to keep your mind busy.
“She knows that you love her Frank, but I think both are you just need time. How long ago was it?”
By the way they both acted it seems to be rather recent. They both seemed raw about it and it surprised me when he said that it had been almost a year.
“You know the funny thing is, that was the first person that I brought home the other night. She was the first one since, and I can't say that it was all that satisfying.”
I found that kind of funny because it certainly didn't look like it was unsatisfying for him. He seemed to be having a good time, and I never would have guessed that it had been so long for him.
“Just like Donna, you're going to have to take your time too. Maybe you should pick someone that you know a little bit better, so that it will be more than just physical. I have never found much satisfaction in the physicality of a relationship if there weren’t any feelings behind it. It is most likely why me and Duane weren’t going to work out. He is fine, we do things together, but there really isn't any feelings behind it. We are vastly different people.”
“Well that makes me feel little bit better, because I was worried that it was because of you staying here.”
“It was, but maybe it's for the best. I try to see the bright side of things too. There is always a silver lining if you look hard enough. I didn’t used to be that way, but a friend of mine Denise is rubbing off on me apparently.”
“I know that I will do anything to make Donna happy, and you have really done that. Her and Maria got along well, but they didn't have the same relationship as you and her do after such a short amount of time. You really do have a knack with kids.”
That was the first time that I heard anything like that, because I was never really around kids. I avoided them like the plague because I don't think I ever want any. I would never say that out loud, but it was the truth. In less than a week though, I knew that I wanted children of my own. I realized that I had been thinking about it all wrong.
“I would have never thought that Frank, but it's good to hear. I never did look at myself very maternally.”
“Whether you do or not, it is definitely there. You just have a way about you that draws everyone in, including me.”
I was silent for a minute because I couldn't believe what he was saying. Was he finally saying what I wanted him to talk about? Was he admitted that there was something between us, even though neither one of us has said anything out loud about it?
“Drawn to me huh?”
“Yeah, it is only thing that makes sense. I know that it is wrong for me to say it, and it is wrong for me to feel it, but I can't help it. There is just something about you and I can tell you now, that Duane is an idiot for letting you go.”
It was the sweetest thing I'd heard in a long time and it made me melt inside a little bit. I knew that Duane wasn't the one for me, not by far, but it was good to hear it from someone else. I was a little upset about the whole Duane situation, but it wasn't for the fact that I was in love with him or anything like that. It was more for the fact that I didn't want to go without sex long enough for me to find someone else. It would be even harder now in the situation I was in.
“Well thank you Frank, I think. I'm sure that both of us feel something for the other that we shouldn't. It was likely happening because we are living with each other. There is an intimacy there that shouldn't be with a boss and employee. You don't really feel like my boss, and you guys have welcomed me into your home. It makes us feel more.”
“Yes I do feel more than I should.”