Chapter Nine
The trail got rougher and steeper as they plunged deeper and deeper into the mountains. They crested one ridge and then slowly maneuvered their way down the next. Harley took the lead, and Crew didn’t seem to mind. She liked that he would let her be in front. The trail and this mountain weren’t anything new, but they were picturesque with pine trees cascading down the mountainside, creeks and small waterfalls bubbling along the trail, and the crisp smell of pine and the outdoors. Harley did love it here, but how did she explain to Crew, without insulting him and his lifestyle, that she was meant for more? Meant to meet people from all walks of life, learn, discover, expand her mind, and challenge herself in ways he would probably never understand.
They reached a valley and the long grass waved in the slight breeze. A wide creek broke up the green with a ribbon of blue. If only Harley could paint as well as she could design jewelry and house plans.
“You hungry?” Crew asked.
“Is it lunchtime already?”
“My stomach says it is.”
She laughed and reined Ruby in close to the stream, holding on to the saddle horn and swinging down. Her legs and back were stiff, unaccustomed to long rides. She released Ruby’s reins and stretched as Crew leapt down from his horse and unlatched one of the saddlebags. He pulled out a sack lunch and a couple of water bottles, then released Jade to go drink her fill.
“Sorry I didn’t think of a blanket,” Crew said.
Harley pushed a hand through the air. “I’m not such a city girl now that I can’t sit on the ground.” To prove her point, she plopped onto the ground and pulled off her backpack. “I didn’t know I was getting lunch out of this deal.”
Crew sat down close by and pulled out what looked like peanut butter and honey sandwiches, bags of chips, and apples. “Gourmet, baby. Only the best for my girl.”
Harley should’ve corrected him calling her his girl, but she merely accepted the sandwich and slid it partway out of the wrapper, taking a bite. “Very gourmet,” she agreed. It did taste good—everything tasted better in the mountains with fresh air for company. She twisted off the water bottle lid and took a long drink.
“So what do you like best about the big city?” Crew asked after she’d eaten half of her sandwich.
Harley leaned back on one hand and stared off across the valley. “New Haven isn’t some huge city, but it’s definitely bigger than Alpine.”
He nodded.
“I like that there’s always something happening and I like being by the ocean, but my favorite thing is the people. I love meeting different people from such diverse backgrounds and learning from them and discussing things.” Yet as she thought over her four years at Yale, she mostly remembered lots of classes and studying. She hadn’t experienced nearly as much as she’d wanted to.
Crew set his sandwich aside and popped open his bag of chips. “That makes sense. People are very interesting.” He chewed and swallowed before asking, “What kinds of things did you like to discuss?”
“Everything from their cultures and traditions, politics, religion, and I loved talking about books.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Like Jane Austen.”
She pushed at his very firm shoulder and laughed. “Yes. Jane, Charlotte Brontë, Dickens, Tolstoy, but also nonfiction—self-help and improvement kind of books.”
“Like Stephen Covey?”
She almost dropped her sandwich. “You know who Stephen Covey is?”
“Sure. I’ve read 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, First Things First, and The Leader in Me.”
Harley blinked up at him. “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” He looked a little offended by her question.
“I should clarify: did you read them to improve your business, or because they were interesting to you?”
He checked the horses’ position, but they were chewing on the grass by the stream and weren’t going anywhere. “A little of both. I like Covey’s ideas and they motivate me to want to be successful.”
Harley didn’t have much to say to that. The hundred-piece puzzle that made up Crew Harrison was looking more like a thousand-piece. Hmm. She finished her sandwich, took another drink, and crunched on her apple.
“I also like Tony Robbins’s stuff,” he said, much to her surprise. “I went to one of his seminars in Salt Lake and have read a few of his books as well.”
Harley swallowed the bite of apple and asked, “Are you serious right now, or are you just trying to impress me?”
Crew chuckled at that. “If I’m impressing you, I’ll keep going with my list of business and self-help books I’ve read in the past four years.”
“I don’t mean to doubt why you read, but I read a lot of those books because I was required to. You just read them … because you wanted to?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you go away to college, Crew?”
The muscles in his neck tightened. “Just wasn’t me.”
“But you’re smart. I remember how smart you were in calculus. You taught the class because Mrs. Ulrich had no clue what she was doing.”
“If I was so smart, how did it work that you were a sophomore taking the class with the rest of us seniors? You’re the smart one, Harley.”
“I appreciate the compliment, but not the deflection. You could’ve done anything, gotten into any school. Ryker told me once you got a thirty-two on the ACT the first time you took it. A thirty-two is amazing. I only got twenty-nine, so I studied my tush off and took the SAT several times to get the equivalent of a thirty on the ACT.”
“A test shouldn’t determine your future.” Crew shrugged and gulped down some water. “I didn’t need to go to college. I have everything I want right here.”
Harley’s shoulders sagged. That made no sense to her, and it was exactly why she couldn’t let herself fall for Crew like she’d always wanted to do. She wanted to see the world and he only wanted these mountains. She’d worked so hard to get into Yale and succeed there. He could’ve gotten into any school, but he stayed right at home.
“That disappoints you?” Crew guessed.
“Of course it does. You could’ve done anything with your life, but you don’t have the drive or desire.”
He straightened. “What do you know about my drive and desire? I’ve built two hugely successful businesses from the ground up.”
“I’m glad for you, Crew, but life isn’t all about making money.”
“There’s nothing wrong with making money.”
“I didn’t say there was, but intellectual pursuits and expanding the mind are much more important than a big paycheck.”
Crew shook his head. “This isn’t about my choice of career at all. It’s about you. You’ll never understand what you have right here because you’re always looking beyond the mark. You can still learn and challenge yourself without breaking all of our hearts and going halfway across the world.”
Harley stared at him. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand, and I pity you. There’s so much beyond these mountains, Crew, and you’ll miss out on experiencing the world just like my daddy has done.” Between thoughts of her daddy’s life being ripped away from them and her frustration with Crew, she found herself blinking back tears. She had no desire for Crew to see her cry, so she grabbed her backpack and ran to Ruby. Swinging into the saddle, she leaned into the horse and murmured, “Run, girl.” Thankfully the horse understood and took off like the wind.
* * *
Crew’s stomach churned with frustration. He shoved their half-eaten lunch into his backpack and leapt onto Jade. He’d chase after Harley, and when he caught her … he didn’t know what he’d do then. Arguing with her wasn’t going to work. You couldn’t talk somebody into loving or understanding you. He pushed out a heavy breath as Jade thundered across the meadow after Harley and Ruby. Why did he have to love the woman who could never return his feelings?
Harley tried to push Ruby, but they reached the incline and Ruby slowed down a bit. Crew was about a hundred feet behind them when Harley cried out in surprise as Ruby suddenly reared, her front hooves coming off the ground and slashing at the air.
Harley screamed as she was thrown from the horse. Ruby shied away from Harley, backing up into Crew’s path as he raced to them. Cursing, he leapt off of Jade and ran the last few steps to Harley.
She was lying on her back, looking disoriented and disheveled but not broken.
Crew dropped to his knees beside her. “Harley? Are you okay?”
She blinked up at him and slowly nodded.
“Where do you hurt?” He wanted to gather her to him, but he didn’t dare.
“Where’s the snake?” she croaked out.
“Snake?” He glanced around, and then he saw it: a rattler slithering away from the horses, who were skittering around. He watched it for a few more seconds, but it was headed the opposite direction and within seconds disappeared behind some rocks fifty feet away. “It’s gone.”
Harley started to sit up.
“Whoa.” Crew gently pushed her back down. “Let’s make sure you didn’t hurt your neck or back.”
“I’m okay, Crew. It just knocked the wind out of me.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” She sat up and gave him half a smile. “That should teach me to ride away from you mad.”
The breath whooshed out of Crew, leaving him feeling weak as a puppy. “Dang it, woman, don’t ever do that to me again.”
“Don’t call me woman,” she shot back, struggling to her feet.
“Slow down.” Crew stood quickly and wrapped his arm around her back. “You were just thrown from a horse!” She was so exasperating. He couldn’t stand the thought of her being hurt, and then she got all feisty with him anyway.
“I’m fine, you big old baby.” She tried to struggle from his arm, but he was having none of it.
“You need to calm down and let me check you over.”
“Like you’re some doctor.”
“I’m an EMT.”
“What?” She succeeded in pulling away.
“A few years ago, I trained as an EMT so I could volunteer at the fire department when they needed help.”
“Oh?” She glanced over his body, then looked away. “That’s impressive.”
“What was that look?”
Harley rolled her eyes, then admitted in a quiet voice, “I think firefighters are really hot.”
Crew stared at her before barking a disbelieving laugh. “As hot as cowboys?”
She pushed at his chest with both hands. “I don’t like cowboys!”
Crew wrapped his hands around both of hers and held on. “I’m sorry to hear that. Can you please calm down now so I can check you out and make sure you’re okay?”
“No, I am declining medical help.” She lifted her chin stubbornly.
“You can’t do that.”
“Yes, I can. Who are you to tell me I have to get checked out? I feel perfectly fine. I might have a few contusions tomorrow, but that is definitely preferable to having you check me out.”
“What is it with you being so set against me?” Crew released her hands and yanked his cowboy hat off, shoving his hand through his hair. “Why do you resist everything I do?”
“Why can’t you just leave me alone? You know I’m leaving for England, you know I’m destined to marry an Englishman and travel the world, yet you keep bothering me.” She stepped in closer and poked at his chest. “The way you smell, the way you look, the way my stomach gets all quivery every time you notice me.”
Crew’s eyes widened. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? He dropped his hat on the ground and wrapped both hands around her back, pulling her flush against him. “Is this bothering you, love?”
Harley’s forehead furrowed, and her lips pursed so cutely he barely resisted bending down and claiming them with his own. She pushed at his chest with her hands. “Stop it, Crew. That’s completely unfair, and I won’t be manhandled by you.”
“What’s unfair about it?” He arched an eyebrow, hoping she’d rise to the challenge. Maybe she didn’t think he was good enough for her career-wise, but she definitely wanted him on some level physically. And she was right that it was unfair of him to take advantage of that fact, but at the moment it was all he had.
Harley’s palms flattened on his chest. She pulled in a breath and looked up at him. “Your body is unfair.”
“My body?” The way she was touching his chest shortened his breath.
“Yes.” She shook her head. “Any woman would be unable to resist a body like this.”
“Even you?” Warmth flooded him from head to toe. He was irresistible to her? That was the best news he’d had all year.
“Even me.” She stood on tiptoes, ran her hands up his chest and behind his neck, and tentatively pressed her lips against his.
Crew froze, his mind going blank. All he could do was notice the softness of her lips before she broke away.
She fell back onto her heels and looked down at the rock-strewn ground. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I shouldn’t have done that. You obviously don’t feel the way I thought you did, you didn’t even return my kiss, and … wow, this is awkward.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold up, sweetheart.” Crew laughed, though it was the wrong thing to do as her eyes shot fire at him. “If you don’t know how I feel about you, I must be a lot dumber than you think.”
Harley looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness and regret. “You’re not dumb, Crew, and I shouldn’t have done that anyway.” She tried to pull out of his arms.
Crew tightened his grip. She wasn’t going anywhere right now. “I just messed everything up by not responding. You shocked me, but don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to make it up right now.”
“How are you going to do that?” Her voice was full of challenge.
Crew grinned. “Let me show you.” He bent down and pressed his lips to hers.
For half a second she didn’t respond, but then she threw her arms back around his neck and Crew almost lost his footing as her lips were warm and pliable and she kissed him with passion. Did he dare hope that she returned his feelings? Her kiss sure said yes.
* * *
Harley was floating on a cloud of desire and happiness. Crew’s lips danced with hers and his firm body seemed to surround her as he gave her a kiss Jane Austen couldn’t have done justice to.
When she had no choice but to take a breath, she pulled back and glanced up at him. His blue eyes were heavy with desire for her and he smiled softly. But then he grew serious, his eyes trailed over her face, and he lifted her clean off her feet and kissed her again. Harley may or may not have let out a moan. She savored each movement of his lips, and for the first time in a long time, she wasn’t analyzing or theorizing—she was simply feeling. And it felt wonderful.
When Crew set her back on her feet she was dizzy, her head full of clouds and Crew’s lips. “Do you realize,” she whispered, “that there was not one kiss in any of Jane Austen’s novels?”
Crew chuckled. “If that’s what you’re thinking about, I might need a redo on those kisses.”
Harley looked up at him. “I’m thinking that I pity Jane Austen’s characters, but I’ll definitely take that redo.”
Crew grinned and bent down to claim her lips with his own. Jane Austen, Englishmen, and exploring the world were thrown far, far from any conscious thoughts as his lips explored hers. She savored each movement and returned kiss for kiss, running her hands through his hair, then touching his beautiful chest again. She’d never get enough of him.
Crew released her lips but tenderly kissed her forehead and held her close.
The sun beamed down on them, and Harley felt like she was floating. She never wanted to leave his arms.
“I love you, Harley,” Crew said in a husky whisper.
“You …” Harley pulled back so she could see his face. He couldn’t be serious. “Love me?”
He nodded. “I’ve loved you for so long. I can’t remember when I didn’t love you.”
Harley’s heart leapt at his confession and she realized she could easily love him too. He was a good man and so much fun to be with and he could stir her up like nobody else could, but … reality washed over her like being dunked in an ice-cold river.
She pulled away from him and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Crew. It would be so easy to love you, but I can’t.”
His brow furrowed and he held on to her waist as if he couldn’t let her go. “Can’t or won’t?”
Harley pushed out a breath and turned, striding toward Ruby.
Crew followed her, having no trouble keeping pace with his longer legs. “Can’t or won’t?” he demanded.
Harley swung around to face him. “Can’t, won’t, both! What does it matter? We don’t work.”
Crew glowered at her. “Who says we don’t work? Jane Austen or Harley Redland?”
She poked her finger in his face. “Don’t make fun of me, Crew. I have big plans and they don’t include a cowboy who’s never leaving Southwestern Wyoming!”
Crew actually laughed at that. Then he sobered and stroked a hand tenderly along her cheek. “You have true love in your grasp, and you’re throwing it away, for what?”
Harley couldn’t help but lean into him and smile a little bit. They used to love The Princess Bride. “Stop teasing me.”
“I’m not teasing you, love.” Before she could do anything, he bent down and gave her a lingering kiss. Her lips tingled and she was about ready to pledge her love when he pulled away and whispered, “This is true love. Do you think this happens every day?”
Tears pricked at Harley’s eyes. She shook her head and backed up a step. Crew’s hand fell away and so did his smile. This wasn’t true love, it couldn’t be. Her dream was waiting for her out there in the world. She was so close. This perfectly wonderful cowboy that she was falling in love with couldn’t change her future any more than she could.
“I’m sorry, Crew,” she whispered. “I have to go to England. It’s my destiny, it’s fate.”
He nodded. “Then go … but come back to me. I’ll wait, Harley. I’ll wait as long as you need.”
His offer was so sweet, but the obstacle between them was bigger than the Tetons. “That … means so much, but you don’t understand, Crew.” She swallowed hard, then told him the truth. “I’m not coming back.” She gestured around at the mountains and horses as his eyes grew wary. “This isn’t my dream, it’s yours. I couldn’t be happy here.”
“You couldn’t be happy with me?”
“It’s not you.” The words ripped out of her and she knew she could never explain. If he found out how much she did love him, he’d never let her go, but she didn’t want to settle down, have children, cook nonstop, and wash chore clothes. It wasn’t Crew’s fault that his dreams were here, but it wasn’t her fault that hers weren’t. “I’m going to England, Crew. There’s nothing you can do to stop me, so please don’t try.”
A muscle worked in his jaw and his hands clenched. Finally, he muttered, “And there’s no hope of you ever coming back?”
She shook her head.
Crew stared at her. Harley held his gaze until she couldn’t take it anymore, hoping to make him realize she was serious. She hurried to Ruby, grasped the reins and the saddle horn, jammed her boot into the stirrup, and swung up onto the horse. She didn’t wait to see if Crew would follow. He knew the way home.
Home. The word yanked at something deep inside her. Was she wrong to pull up roots and want to forge a different kind of home? Tears streamed down her face. Crew’s kiss and declaration of love had touched something deep inside of her, but her dreams were too firmly planted to allow that kiss and his love to alter them. She had to be strong, and that meant she had to stay far, far away from Crew. The tears came harder then. She kicked Ruby into a trot, wanting the wind to carry her tears away along with her hopeless dreams of being with Crew.