I turned off my phone for the rest of the Saturday. I didn't feel like having to go through the whole dance of sending calls to voicemail and deleting them. I would deal with them tomorrow. I had papers to grade and I wanted to avoid gorging myself on ice cream again. I'd had enough over the past couple months .

Unfortunately, while I did manage to avoid the ice cream, I wasn't able to concentrate enough to get much grading done. At one point, I'd had to refrain from going on a rant on one student's essay regarding the friendship between Mercutio and Romeo, and how Romeo's relationship with Juliet betrayed Mercutio. That was when I realized I needed to just go to bed .

When I showered, I tried not to think of the last time I'd been with Cade and the shower we'd taken together, but it wasn't easy. I could almost feel him against me, the way he pushed me against the wall and thrust inside me, making me wail. How hard it had been to make him stop when I'd realized, in the heat of the moment, we'd forgotten a condom. How we'd finished each other off with our hands .

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against the shower wall, cursing myself for the memories. I didn't want to think about them. I didn't want to think about him. I told myself that I'd ended things because it was too weird with Adelle involved, but a part of me had already been thinking I was getting too attached. Even now, my body was craving his. I needed his hands on me, his mouth, his cock ...

“Dammit, Adelle!” I slapped my palm against the shower wall. “Why'd you have to fuck everything up ?”

I let myself cry again in the shower, but once I was out, I was done. No more dwelling. I was going to move on. I sighed as I dressed for bed and climbed under the covers. I was getting tired of having to give myself those 'moving on' pep talks. Maybe, I thought, I needed to consider actually moving. My brother and sister-in-law had been trying to talk me into moving to Texas for the past couple years. I could visit them for Christmas and take a look at the schools in the area. I wouldn't leave until after this year was done, but if I had that plan all set up, I could get through until June .

I fell asleep wondering if I could meet a nice cowboy, who would sweep me onto his black stallion and steal me away .

When I woke on Sunday morning, I didn't exactly feel good, but I was clear-headed enough to see things for how they were. I wasn't going to leave a job I loved and move hundreds of miles away. I would eventually forgive Adelle because I wasn't going to throw away a lifetime of friendship because we'd hit a rough patch. I'd learned enough from Cade that I could manage, and not continuing with him would make it easier to get things smoothed out between Adelle and me. I would miss the sex, of course, because he was the only lover who’d been able to make me climax like that. He was easy on the eyes and not bad to talk to, but that didn't mean anything. I could think fondly about our time together, but from a clinical perspective. It was all physical. Nothing else .

With all of that firmly sorted out in my head, I ate breakfast, turned my phone back on and started to work on my papers. Adelle had called twice yesterday, but hadn't left any messages. I was surprised, but decided to let it go. I would forgive her, but I wasn't going to make the first move. Not now anyway. The pain was too fresh and sharp .

I fell into the rhythm of grading and let literature essays purge everything else from my mind. Grammar corrections came automatically and my red pen marked the mistakes. I stopped around noon to make myself some lunch and then kept working while I ate. If I stayed busy, I didn't have time to think. That was a very good thing .

I finished my work shortly after making a grilled cheese sandwich for supper and wondered if I should clean the apartment to stay busy. It wasn't exactly dirty, but I didn't want to spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch watching TV or finding some chick flick to cry through. If I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, I could then shower and go to bed. There was a new murder mystery I'd been meaning to read, but I'd been too distracted recently to get started on it .

I was still debating the merits of scrubbing my bathroom floor versus cleaning the oven when my phone rang. It was Adelle. I looked down at my screen, unsure if I had it in me to talk to her. By the time I decided I didn't, she'd already gone to voicemail. I waited a few minutes, trying to decide if I was even ready to hear her voice before finally playing the message .

“Bree.” Her voice was shaking. “I know you're pissed at me and I hope you'll eventually give me a call back so we can work this out. Until then, I want you to know that I canceled my session with Cade. Your friendship means more to me than anything else. Especially sex .”

She inhaled like she was going to say something else, but didn't. The voicemail ended and I deleted it, softening as the full impact of her confession ran through me. Adelle had canceled her time with Cade because of me. She hadn't argued that she had every right to see him, especially since she'd been with him first. She hadn't told me it was none of my business who she or Cade fucked .

I touched 'call back' and she answered on the first ring. There was a moment of awkward silence and then we both started talking at the same time .

“Bree, I'm so sorry ...”

“Adelle, I get it ...”

We fell silent for a moment again and I let her break it .

“I wasn't thinking; at least not thinking with my brain,” she said. “But I understand why you’re upset .”

“Don't worry about it,” I cut her off. I didn't want to get into the reasons why I'd had an issue with her seeing Cade. I knew Adelle. She'd read too much into it and we'd end up arguing again. “It doesn't matter .”

“It does,” she insisted .

I sighed. “Adelle, I don't want to fight with you and I don't want to have this talk over the phone. I think we can get past this, but we're going to need to have a very frank discussion at some point .”

She was quiet for a moment. “All right,” she said. “I really don't want to lose you, Bree .”

“I know,” I said. “I don't want to lose you either. We just have to deal with what's happened .”

“Do you and Mindy have the day off tomorrow ?”

I looked at my calendar and silently swore. She was right. I'd completely forgotten that we didn't have school tomorrow. I was going to have to find something to keep myself busy for the day. “Yeah, we do .”

“Let's meet for lunch. We can talk then .”

At least that'd give me something to think about other than Cade, plus I wouldn't have to spend days trying to figure out how to keep things from being awkward on Friday. “All right,” I said. “How about the café around the corner from my place ?”

“That sounds good,” Adelle said, the relief evident in her voice. Just hearing it made me feel better .

“And, Bree, um, there's something else I have to tell you .”

That didn’t sound good .

“Cade's on his way to see you .”

“Shit.”

“I'm sorry,” Adelle said. “When I called him this afternoon to cancel our session, I told him why and he said he was going to see you .”

I didn't ask her why it had taken her until today to decide to cancel her session. I was too busy trying to figure out how I was going to handle things when Cade showed up. Especially considering I was wearing my bum-around-the-house outfit: a pair of gray yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt... with no bra .

There was a knock on my door .

“I have to go.” I hung up before Adelle could say anything else and hoped she wouldn't think I was still mad at her. I just couldn't deal with her on the phone and Cade at my door at the same time .

“Aubree, open up.” His voice had that quiet, authoritative tone that made me automatically move to obey .

I was half-way to the door before I even realized I'd moved. I stopped before I could unlock it. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I could do this. It wasn't personal. It was business. Once Cade understood that, he'd leave and we'd never see each other again .

I ignored the pang going through me at the thought. I opened the door and took a couple steps back. Without meaning to, I crossed my arms, hating myself for feeling so self-conscious .

Cade shut the door behind him. His face was blank as he turned toward me. “Would you like to explain why I received a voicemail from you canceling our contract, and then a call from Adelle canceling her session because you were upset I was seeing her?” His words were even and carefully devoid of any inflection .

“I didn't ask her to cancel her session,” I said .

“That wasn’t the question,” he said as he took a step toward me .

It was all I could do not to back up. There was a tension radiating from him and I could feel my body wanting to respond .

“Did I ever give you any indication that you were my only client? That we were somehow exclusive ?”

I shook my head. I needed to explain before he thought I was jealous. Ending our deal was one thing, but I didn't want him to be mistaken as to why I'd done it. It had to be very clear that I didn't have feelings for him. Because I didn't .

“I know you see other clients,” I said. “It wasn't that .”

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing me. “Then what was it ?”

He was starting to get that smug tone that was equal parts annoying and sexy. I scowled at him. “It was weird thinking of you fucking my best friend and then fucking me, okay? Comparing us.” The last two words came out before I could stop them. That was it, I knew, the main reason the idea of Adelle and Cade together had freaked me out. The truth .

“Comparing you .”

I lifted my chin. “Yes. Comparing us. Our bodies. How good we are in bed.” I forced the words out. “I've been friends with Adelle my entire life. I know what it's like to stand next to her, to have guy after guy walk past me to get to her. I shared a room with her in college, so I got an earful of her social life, okay? I know you'd been with her before, but it's different thinking you'll fuck me one day and her the next. I'll always be wondering how I measure up. If you're thinking about her –”

He closed the distance between us in two quick strides, his eyes blazing. “I told you before, I don't think of anyone else when I'm with you... with any client. And I never compare .”

I swallowed hard. “That’s bullshit. You’re a man, not a machine. Besides, I didn't say you'd do it on purpose, but I know Adelle.” My lips tried to curve into a smile, but didn't quite manage it. “And when we're next to each other, I'm not the one who stands out .”

“First of all.” Cade's voice was harsh. “Adelle won't be hiring me again until after I'm done with you .”

Done with me? I started to shake my head, to tell him it didn't matter now. We were done. I wasn't doing this anymore .

“And second,” he continued without even acknowledging my negative response. “I'm not done with you .”