Chapter 27
Natalia
I hadn’t seen Hunter in five days.
To most couples, that might be normal. Weekdays are busy. I have a teenager to take care of. Then again, we weren’t really a couple, were we? Since Hunter and I had gotten together, we’d never been apart this long. We’d grab a bite to eat, catch one of Izzy’s games, steal a few hours in his bedroom, or even meet for breakfast. It had never been an effort to find the time. Until now. And it wasn’t a lack of effort on his part. I was avoiding him, and he knew it—although he hadn’t yet called me out on it.
But I had a feeling that was about to change as I pressed the buzzer to unlock the front door downstairs. After five days of me saying I was busy and delaying answering his texts, he’d showed up unannounced at my apartment this morning. Conveniently, Izzy had just left for school, and he knew I rarely had appointments before ten o’clock.
I unlocked my apartment door and waited. Hunter stepped off the elevator and walked toward me with purpose. It pissed me off that my body reacted to seeing him when I didn’t want to be excited. And that anger was evident in my snarky tone.
“In the neighborhood and thought you’d drop by to say hello?” I asked. I didn’t open the door to invite him in.
Hunter looked me right in the eyes. “Nope. Came to talk to you. Izzy gone?”
Anger was an emotion I could tolerate. I folded my arms across my chest. “Yes. But I have to get ready for work. You should have called first.”
He took a step closer, into my personal space, and looked down at me. “Why would I have done that? So you could blow me off again?”
A mini stare-off ensued. I refused to back down, even though being so near him made me want to crumble. Straightening my spine, I said, “It’s been fun, Hunter. Let’s not end this on a sour note.”
His eyes blazed. “Can we go inside and talk?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything we need to talk about. It was fun. Now it’s over.”
Then he did the one thing I knew I couldn’t withstand—he reached out and cupped my cheek. Stupid tears threatened at the tenderness of his touch.
His thumb stroked my skin. “I’m sorry, Natalia. I really am.”
I swallowed and tasted salt in my throat. “Really? It doesn’t seem that way.”
Hunter closed his eyes. “Can we go inside and talk? Please?”
I nodded, and he followed me into my apartment.
Not ready for the conversation that was to come, I stalled for time and filled the air with anything but silence. “Do you want some coffee?”
“No thanks.”
“I’m going to have some.”
He nodded, and I retreated to the kitchen, hoping that the few minutes it took would help me figure out what I wanted to say. My head swam with emotions, and I was afraid I might choke up if I didn’t rein myself in.
When I returned to the living room, I found Hunter staring out the window. It reminded me of the morning I’d found him outside on his balcony. He was a million miles away.
Sensing me, he turned. “What time is your first appointment?”
I was honest. “Not for a few hours.”
A sad but real smile peeked out from behind the cloud of somber he wore. I was too jittery to have this conversation sitting down, so I didn’t bother to invite him to have a seat before I started in.
I sipped my coffee and feigned innocence. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”
Hunter reached forward and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “I like you. A lot, Natalia. I enjoy your company. You’re beautiful and smart…and a smart ass, which oddly, I find ridiculously sexy. And the sex…” He shook his head. “I’d spend every waking moment inside of you, if I could.”
As perfect as that all sounded, I knew it was just the warm-up. I caught his gaze and prompted him. “But…”
“This was supposed to be just sex—have fun for a while.”
That answer infuriated the shit out of me. It was cowardly. “And I was supposed to be married to an honest man who wasn’t a thief. Things don’t always go as planned, do they?”
He dropped his head. “I’m sorry, Natalia.”
“Why?” I bit. “I want to know why.”
He looked up. “Why what?”
“Why you can say all those great things about me—how you like me so much, how good we are together—but then you don’t even attempt to continue this. Is it because we live so far apart?”
“You were dead set against a relationship with any man when this started. You intentionally dated people you didn’t connect with just to keep things on a purely physical level.” He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s all we agreed to.”
“So what?” I raised my voice. “I didn’t agree to be divorced at twenty-eight with a sixteen year old. But here I am. And you know what? I’m happy with what I have, even if it isn’t the fairytale life I thought I’d get. Sometimes you’re planning on driving straight and life takes a left turn, which turns out to be right.”
We stared at each other, and I saw so much in his eyes—sadness, anger, guilt, desire. But most of all, I knew I was looking at a man who had feelings for me. I wasn’t alone in this. Yet something kept him from even attempting anything more.
“It’s not that simple,” he said.
“I didn’t say it was. But rather than try to figure things out, you’ll just say goodbye in two weeks and not look back.”
When he didn’t man up and say anything, it further fueled my anger. I set my coffee on the nearby end table, and my hands went to my hips. “Tell me, will you have a replacement for me by the time I fly out for the christening? How does that look to you? Do I extend my hand and she and I can exchange compliments about each other’s dresses and talk about your stamina?”
“I wouldn’t do that to you…bring another woman to the christening. Christ, I’m not even thinking about another woman, Natalia.”
I tapped my pointer finger to my lips. “Hmm…is that supposed to be a mutual thing? Because what if I want to bring a date?”
That got his attention. His jaw flexed, and I saw a flicker of fury in his eyes. But I wasn’t happy with a flicker; I wanted the full damn flame.
So I pushed. “You asked me if I wanted to stay with you when I come out for the christening. Is my date welcome, too? I mean, would it bother you if we were loud in your guest room? I tend to moan a bit when I’m getting fucked hard.” I paused. “But I guess you know that already, don’t you?”
Hunter’s already rigid jaw clenched so tight, I thought he might possibly crack a pearly white. Yet he still didn’t blow.
I wanted to know the reason he wouldn’t fight for us. I needed to know. Frustrated, I lifted my arms and smacked them down against my sides. “Why did you come here, Hunter?”
“Because I knew you were upset, and you kept blowing me off.”
“So? Did this help you in any way? Did you need to see first-hand that I’m upset or something? Because it certainly hasn’t helped me any.” I turned to storm away, but he gripped my elbow, stopping me.
“Natalia.”
I jerked my arm from his grip and whirled back around so fast, he had to retreat to avoid crashing into me.
“Or did you come for a quick fuck? Is that what you came for?” I started fumbling, undoing the buttons on my shirt. “That’s all it was to begin with anyway, right?”
“Stop it.”
I didn’t. I kept right on going. The third button, then the fourth…
“You deserve more than I can give you.”
That wasn’t an explanation; it was a cop-out. But he’d finally said something that was right. I did deserve better.
“When my parents were splitting up, my father told my mother he’d always cared about her, but he’d never deeply loved her the way he loved Margie. He basically admitted that he’d settled. And let’s not even talk about my choice of Garrett. You’re absolutely right. I do deserve more. I deserve someone who wants to be with me the way I want to be with them. And maybe it’s my own fault for growing feelings for you when you never promised anything more than a physical relationship. But you know what…” I searched his eyes. “I didn’t think I was in this alone. I was foolish enough to think you were right there with me, breaking your dumb rule about keeping things to sex only.”
Hunter rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor.
I pulled my unbuttoned shirt closed. “You should go.”
“Natalia…”
His calm, level tone made me snap. I was riding an emotional rollercoaster, and he was floating through the lazy river. Screw this.
“Get out! Go find your new fuck of the month. Oh, wait. It’s fuck of the quarter, isn’t it?”
I spun around and marched toward the front door, flinging it open without another word. Hunter stayed put for a few long moments and then came toward the door. Only, he didn’t walk through it; he slammed it shut. With him still inside.
“I am right there with you. I just…”
“Just what?”
“I can’t promise more. But I also can’t seem to walk out that fucking door.”
I was sad and angry. So, how did I respond?
I kissed him.
Probably not the smartest move I’ve ever made. Yet I couldn’t help myself.
It took about one second for Hunter to stop fighting it. He cupped both hands around my ass and lifted me up against the door. My legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, and all of my angry energy poured into the kiss.
I couldn’t get close enough. And this time, I was positive I wasn’t the only one. Hunter wound his fingers into my hair, tilted my head to deepen the kiss, and pressed his body into mine as he let out a groan. Our hearts pounded against each other. We began tearing away our clothes without ungluing our mouths. Engrossed in the furies of passion, I hadn’t even noticed we were moving until I felt Hunter’s foot push open the door to my bedroom.
Ever so gently, he set me down on the bed, our tongues still intertwined. I was lost—we were lost—in the moment. It wasn’t until our kiss broke, and Hunter stood to remove the rest of his clothes, that either one of us had a chance to sober up from the high of arousal.
Our gazes locked, and he froze, his hand on his zipper. “Do you want me to stop? Tell me now.”
Ten minutes ago I’d been kicking him out. Now I wanted him inside of me more than my next breath. Of course, in the moment, I could justify anything. What difference would two more weeks make? I already had feelings for him. It wasn’t like depriving myself of sexual gratification was going to change that. My eyes dropped to the thick bulge straining for release from Hunter’s pants.
Nope. Two more weeks isn’t going to make one lick of a difference.
“No,” I whispered. “I don’t want you to stop.”
Heat pushed the hesitancy out of Hunter’s eyes. He pulled a condom from his wallet, tossed the billfold on the floor, and made quick work of shedding the rest of my clothes. Hovering over me, he rubbed his thick erection up and down my center before looking into my eyes one last time for confirmation.
I nodded, but as he dipped his head to take my mouth again, I changed my mind. “Wait.”
Hunter froze with our noses a centimeter apart.
If I was going to do this, I wanted to be in control as much as I could. “I want to be on top,” I said.
A flash of relief crossed his gorgeous face. In one swift move, he rolled to his back, putting me on top. “Ride me, baby,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Ride me hard.”
I rose to my knees and took him in my hand. He was so thick, my fingers couldn’t wrap around his width. Hunter’s hands pressed into my hips, and he lifted me to hover high enough to line up his crown at my entrance. The scent of sex wafted in the air, permeating everything.
I looked down at Hunter. He looked so desperate, yet he’d ceded me the control I needed, even if that control was false.
“Fuck,” he groaned as I lowered myself onto him.
His fingers pressed into my hips so hard, I’d probably have bruises tomorrow. I wanted bruises tomorrow. And I wanted to see every second of what I could do to this man. Looking into his eyes, I took more of him in. He blew out a heavy rush of air that I sucked in as I glided up and down, allowing him to go even deeper.
Hunter was a big man, and in this position almost painfully so. Yet I relished that pain. Leaning back, with my hands on his thighs behind me, I arched my spine. The position sucked him in until I was fully seated with my ass resting nearly on his balls.
“Christ. Slow down, Natalia.”
The unspoken threat of what would happen if I didn’t spurred me on. I rocked my hips back and forth, round and round. The tension in his face drove me wild, with an insane need to make him lose control. I rode him hard; my full breasts bouncing up and down with each rise and fall. Sweat sheathed my skin, and my thighs shook with anticipation.
Hunter’s thumb pressed to my aching clit, and he began to rub circles that made my hips follow in unison. My breathing came in short, staccato bursts, and a moan escaped as my orgasm gripped hold of me.
“Hunter,” I cried.
He answered by fisting a handful of my hair and pulling my mouth down to meet his. His tongue swooped in for a kiss that swept away whatever reality I had left. I was utterly and completely lost in this man.
It was all too much—his masterful fingers massaging my clit, the constant rubbing of that sensitive spot inside of me, his hand wound so tight in my hair, his demanding mouth. Orgasm shot through me, wave after wave of spasms that took over my body. My moans were swallowed between our joined mouths.
Breathless, I gasped for air, and Hunter loosened his grip on my hair so he could watch the last quakes ripple through me.
“Fucking beautiful. So fucking beautiful.”
And then he took back the control I’d thought I’d had. He gripped my hips, lifting me up and down as he thrust up from beneath me. Each time he hammered harder and harder, fucking me from underneath, topping me from the bottom. The sheer determination on his face was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
“Fuck.” He gritted his teeth. “I’m gonna come.”
He bucked one last time and let out a load groan as he planted himself deep inside my body. Watching him release, the tension on his face giving way to pure bliss, was absolutely exhilarating.
Spineless, I collapsed on top of him, unable to hold myself upright. Hunter buried his face in my neck, whispering sweet everythings between kisses over and over. God, this man could be so beautiful.
Sated, I reveled in the tender moment and basked in the afterglow. We were good together. I liked to think it was our chemistry and not his past experience that made our intimate times so amazing. I was far from a virgin, but being with Hunter made me feel like everything leading up to him had merely been practice for the real thing.
It was that thought that scared me out of my lust-induced haze and back to reality. If Hunter was my real thing, why did I have to go back to imposters?