CHAPTER TWO

 

MAX

My desk is littered with piles of application forms, from the definite rejections right through to the ‘given half a chance I’d bang the fuck out of that chick’ pile. Probably not the best way of working out which woman will be the front runner for our new show.

I pick up the singular application form in the latter pile. There’s no picture attached, but it doesn’t matter. I summon up her image with little effort. Blonde hair pulled back into a braid of silver and gold that hangs over her shoulder from beneath a gray woollen beanie, and the most beautiful bright blue eyes I’ve probably ever seen. And when she smiles there’s something so pretty about the way they shine.

I shake my head. If I hadn’t had to take my sister’s damn dog with me I might have gotten to the interview we were supposed to have. Instead, Barclay almost flattened the child she had with her. I’d had to call from the car and cancel once I’d dropped the mutt back at home. Intolerable haystack.

My intercom buzzes and Kelly’s voice pipes into my office. “Caroline’s here to see you.”

“Great. Send her in.” One date and now she’s everywhere I turn? Another reason I hadn’t gotten to the interview part of meeting Evie, or told her my name. When Caroline suggested we meet at the park, I figured why not tell her exactly where she stood with me, but then Barclay had tried to bowl over a child, and I’d had to chase after him. Worse, she’s one of my sister’s friends, which means I can’t simply ignore her.

The door opens and Caroline struts into my office. “I thought we might do lunch.”

“No time,” I say, my attention still on Evie’s application. “Perhaps we could wait until Deanna is home?”

“Are you avoiding me?” She takes a seat opposite my desk and crosses her legs slow enough for me to realize she’s prepared for anything. “Because I thought we had a good time the other night.”

“We did.” I lay Evie’s application on the desk in front of me. One thing’s for sure, the girl must come in for a screen test. “But it was just one time. It’s sort of my thing.”

“Oh, I know.” She smiles slyly as she adjusts the hem of her white knee length skirt. “Eternal bachelor. Never goes out with the same girl more than once. But I don’t want to go out.”

I climb to my feet, scoop my cell and keys from the bowl on my desk and pocket them. The production team is starting a meeting that I’m supposed to be at. “Caroline, you’re a great girl. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just I’m not looking for anything. Not a regular date, or a regular screw. I’m sure Deanna would have told you that.”

“She did.” She exhales and drops the seduction act. “But I thought...”

“Sorry,” I say. “I’m just not that guy.”

***

“What you’re telling me is that if this show idea doesn’t get off the ground then our biggest investors are going to jump ship?” I grumble into the phone while I step out of the elevator and march down the hallway toward my apartment. “We’re a pet supply company, for goodness sake, not matchinthecity.com.”

“It’s an advertisement,” Deanna says coolly. “Marketing. And reality shows being so big these days it’s a great way to get our products in front of our audience. Surely you understand the gist of appealing to a human’s basest nature.”

“That’s a low blow.” The minute I walk into my high-rise home, I grip the knot of my tie and tug at it until it comes loose. “Fuck. I’ve been robbed.”

“Robbed?” Deanna asks.

“My apartment...” I step down into the sunken living room where cushions and stuffing from my sectional lie strewn across the rug. My one of a kind glass table is broken in half, and my bookshelves looks like they’ve been rattled by an earthquake until the contents jumped out. I turn slowly in a circle, assessing the damage and trying to pay attention to anything they might have taken. “I’ve been ransacked.”

“Your building has security,” she says. “That shouldn’t be possible.”

The cushions explode, a giant, furry head popping out between the remnants of tan leather and white cotton. “Woof.”

“Fuck, Dee,” I expel the words on a breath. Not quite as relieved by the absence of any actual thief as I would expect to be. “Your damn dog destroyed my house.”

“Oh, Barclay.” She practically swoons over the villain.

His ears prick and swivel and that lollypop pink tongue rolls out of his mouth. His whole body starts to shake. Any moment he will erupt like a volcano of excitement from the nest he’s made. “Oh Barclay my ass. This dog is a nuisance.”

“He’s just a baby,” she coos. “He just needs some time and training.”

“Things you should be taking care of,” I remind her as the furry Hound of Hell gallops full tilt toward me. “Like this dating gimmick. What do I know about dogs? Or dating for that matter? You know I’m not interested in either.”

“So I’ve heard.” I can practically hear her rolling her eyes behind those vintage Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses she prefers. “Caroline told me all about your little date and subsequent office meeting. I’ll thank you very much to keep your sights off my friends.”

“Won’t happen again,” I promise, and I mean every word.

“See that it doesn’t,” she orders me. “Now why don’t you tell me why it takes you five minutes to zero in on a floosy when you’re in need of companionship, but it’s taking you weeks to decide on one loveless and dateless woman for our ad series?”

“It’s been a week since we shut down applications,” I retort. “Just one. And in that time, I’ve had to go through thousands of applications. I’ve already started interviews.”

“Thousands?”

“At least you know your marketing’s working.” I ignore the dog and walk into the kitchen, going straight to the fridge for a beer.

“Yes, but it would be working much better if you could just pick us a woman.”

Head in the fridge, the little light shines in my eyes like the dim illumination of a half-baked idea. I still need to organize another interview with Evie. Perhaps over dinner. We could come back to my place for a trial run. “Did you just tell me to pick up a woman?”

“Us. I said us, Max,” Deanna snaps. “And you better not sleep with any of the applicants, especially the one you pick to be in the show. I won’t have you ruining this for us.”

“Chill, Dee.” I crack the lid from my beer and go to check on the dog. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Barclay is crowding my potted palm, his leg cocked. A thin stream of piss splashes against the ornate hammered copper pot and pools in a bright yellow stain on my white carpet. He swivels his head to the sound of my voice. I swear he wears the biggest, stupidest grin.

“When do you get back?”

“In a couple weeks,” she says. “Why?”

“Because your dog is pissing on my potted plant. He might not have weeks left in him.”

***

“Your potted plant is dead,” I tell Deanna. Rubbing my fingers over the brittle leaves of her favorite fern, I channel all the enjoyment out of it I can. “Karma’s a whore in pink spandex leggings, Dee. This is payback for your dog destroying my apartment.”

“You were supposed to check in and make sure it was watered,” she moans. “I knew I couldn’t trust that new gardener.”

“Your yard looks fine though. The three inches of snow on it really helps.” I stick my fingers between the curtains and pull the heavy drape back so that I can peer into the front yard. “There’s a duck.”

“A duck? Why does that not surprise me?”  

“Really? Does nothing surprise you?” An eyebrow flies up in wonder as a young girl in a purple snowsuit tramples through the snow, chasing after the white duck. She has pin straight dark hair sticking out from the edges of her woollen hat. A Siamese cat slinks behind them with its tail in the air.

“You don’t understand. That’s not the oddest pet on that street. There’s also a—”

“Goat.” I watch the four legged animal skip and slide on a patch of ice.

“How did you know?” Deanna asks.

“I have to go.” The girl is the same child from the park. The woman bringing up the rear in this parade is a stunning blonde in a gray beanie.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I tell her as I march through the house and pick up Barclay’s leash. “I’m heading out the door. That’s all. Is it okay if I stay at your house until you get home?”

“No. Knowing you, you’ll sleep with one of my neighbors, and I’ll be forced to move.”

“It’s for Barclay’s sake. He hates being cooped up in my apartment. Come on, be a responsible pet owner.”

“Fine,” she gives in huffily. “Just try not to seduce my neighbors. They’re all practically married.”

“You have nothing to worry about, Dee. Seriously. I’ll be too busy with Puppy Love.” I whistle for Barclay, clapping a fist around his collar the moment he bangs into my legs so that I can attach his leash. “But right now, I’m late for an interview.”

I hang up on her before she can say anything else and grab my coat and hat and gloves before racing after a duck, a kid with a cat, a goat, and the hottest woman I’ve ever had to chase.

I don’t catch up to them straight away. The sidewalk is slippery and Barclay pulls and strains against his leash, the duck in his sights. Keeping my balance while I study the back of the woman in front of me is surprisingly difficult. Evie. Dateless and desperate and in need of a good dick. She’s practically perfect for the show.

Barclay yips and whines loudly at not being allowed to sniff the cat, which makes Evie stop and turn around. She takes in the sheepdog pup, all eighty pounds of him, before her gaze lands on me. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Max. And you’re Evie?” I hurry to catch up to them now that we’ve been spotted. The cat gingerly licks its paws while it watches the goat buck in the snow, and the little girl starts scraping the white stuff into a pile while the duck supervises. Oddest grouping ever.

“Right,” Evie agrees, frowning. 

“Abby called you that.” Thrusting my arm out, I engulf her hand with both of mine up to the wrist though I can barely keep my footing with Barclay tugging on his leash, desperate to play. Our breaths come out in big puffs of white air. “Do you live in the neighborhood?”

“You could say that.” She glances at our hands and then back to me.

“Could?” I ask, in no hurry to let her go just yet.

“Well, my employers live here. I’m just the live in nanny.” I release her hand when she slowly pulls away to continue after her charge. “So I suppose for all intents and purposes I do live here.”

“Nice to know.”

“Is it?” She gently tugs at the bottom corner of her mouth with her teeth.

My sister would kill me if she knew my sudden decision to stay at her house was due to one of her neighbors, but the girl did clarify that she only lives here because of her job, and Deanna didn’t say anything about not flirting with her neighbor’s help.

“Do you live close by?” Evie asks as I fall into step beside her.

“No. I’m house sitting for my sister. This monster is hers.” I jerk my chin in the direction of the massive fur ball still hauling on the end of the leash.

“Monster?” Her pale brows pull together into a low line above her eyes. “Should I take it you don’t like dogs?”

Is she disappointed that I’m not a dog lover? Ahead of us the duck begins a quacking frenzy as it speed waddles toward a yard. Perhaps the one where their walk originated? The cat scampers off and disappears behind some bushes on the other side of the road. “Don’t like? That’s a strong statement. But this guy’s an evil destroyer. You should see what he did to my apartment.”

Evie stops in front of the house into which the rest of her companions, except the cat, have disappeared. She drops to one knee in the snow and scratches Barclay behind the ears until he gives her his big goofball grin and starts wiggling to get her to pay attention to the spots he wants her to. “He’s just a boisterous puppy.”

“Boisterous. Evil. You say potato.”

Barclay moves in for the kill, proving my point as he draws that wet pink tongue up the side of her face. Evie squeals, but hugs him anyway. Is it wrong that for a second I’m jealous? That is until he rolls onto his back, exposing himself like an overwound tube of pink lipstick.

“You’re a little bit excited, aren’t you?” she coos at him, standing up. “You big baby. Is your sitter not paying you enough attention?”

“Woof,” he agrees.

Great, the two of them are in cahoots. Lucky dog. I doubt rolling onto my back and unzipping my pants would have the same effect. At least not on Evie. There’s something sweeter about her than I’m used to. More down to earth. Our target audience would eat her up with a spoon. “I’m feeding him and walking him, but I do have a life. A job, which actually I need to get back to.”

“Me too.” She glances at the house.

“Would you...Do you think you...” Usually asking a woman to spend an evening with me is easy, but my tongue feels swollen and clumsy around Evie.

“What?” She tilts her head to the side, waiting.

Barclay whines at her feet.

I thrust the leash at her. “Could you watch him until I get back from work so he doesn’t have to be alone?”

A slow smile breaks across her face that is so warm I could bask in the glow. She takes the lead from my hand. “What time do you finish?”

“I’m not sure.” I scratch the back of my neck, until it hits me that I couldn’t have planned this more perfectly. “But you could give me your number.”

“Okay,” she says as I hand her my phone. “Call me when you’re ready to collect him. Abby is going to be so excited to play with him.”