chapter sixteen
Lucia held on to Noah’s broad shoulders, trying desperately to keep pace with the kiss. Something seemed to have snapped inside of him, and the barrier that kept him so controlled was gone. His hands ran down her back and cupped her ass, kneading her soft flesh until she moaned into his mouth.
He wasn’t being gentle, and heat flashed throughout her as he took what he wanted, bending her body to his will. When he lifted her off her feet, she wrapped her legs around his waist melting into him.
“You’re the only one who has ever loved me,” he whispered against her neck and Lucia stilled. Was he even aware of what he’d just admitted? Afraid to ask any questions and knock him out of the moment, she squeezed him tighter, hoping she could send her love through her skin to his. For all of his faults, he’d always wanted to take care of her. It had felt like being smothered at first, but maybe it was just because he didn’t know how to love. By his own words he’d never had that kind of relationship before.
But she could show him. She could be his light in the darkness, his soft place to land, and the one he opened his heart to. That was everything she’d ever dreamed.
“I do love you, Noah. So much.”
At her words, he shuddered and held her tighter. She pulled back slightly so she could see his face, and if her heart hadn’t already been his, it would have been right then and there. There was such naked longing and hope reflected in his dark eyes. Had any man ever looked at her like she was as vital as oxygen? Noah stared at her like some fantastical thing that he couldn’t believe was real.
“I love you, Noah.” She said it again because he seemed to need to hear it.
His eyes closed and then he was kissing her again, gentler this time, like she was the most precious thing he’d ever held.
“I’m the worst man you could have fallen for, but selfish bastard that I am, I’m not turning it down. You’re mine now, Lucia. Do you understand that?”
His words would have sounded ominous coming from anyone else, but everything inside of her thrilled at the idea of belonging to Noah.
“You’re mine, too. And nothing will ever change the way I feel about you.”
His eyes darkened then, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her throat. “I’ll be better. For you, I can be better.”
Suddenly, he set her gently on her feet and then unbuttoned his shirt. Lucia watched with greedy eyes as he unbuckled his belt and pushed his slacks down leaving him in just his boxer briefs. Oh wow. She’d already been with him, but she couldn’t get over how big he was.
Biting her bottom lip, she bent her arm under and pulled down the zipper of her dress, shimmying her hips until it pooled at her feet. Underneath she wore a plain black bra and panties, nothing special, but the way Noah sucked in his breath at the sight made her feel like a goddess.
“Make love to me, Noah. Just us, no secrets, no lies.”
He knelt and picked her up, holding her against his chest as he strode down the hallway to her room. Lucia giggled when he dropped her on the bed, spreading her arms to keep from bouncing all over the place. Noah smiled and then crawled over the bedspread toward her.
“I love that sound. All I ever want is to see you this happy, Lucia.”
She ran a finger down his muscular chest and then circled his erection with her palm gently. His lashes drifted down on a strangled groan, and then he shot her a look that told her his erotic retribution would be swift.
“You have everything you need to keep me happy.”
She stroked him gently and he groaned. “Fuck, princess, that feels so good.”
Feeling bold, she slid her hand down his boxers and Noah cursed low even as his erection twitched in her hand. His hips pushed into her hand and he squeezed his eyes shut as he bit his bottom lip. She liked this kind of power. Liked how it felt to make him lose control.
When her fingertip found the bead of liquid and spread it over the tip of his erection, he shuddered but then quickly stilled her hands. “Princess, you have to stop. My control is already thin.”
She frowned. “But I was exploring.”
“I promise you, you can explore later. Right now, I want my mouth all over you.”
He settled between her legs, his hard length rubbing against her panties in a way that made her shiver. His lips danced over her collarbone and then brushed over the stiff peaks of her nipples. She arched her back as the tingle of electricity shot straight to her core. While he wrapped his lips around her nipple and tugged, his other hand teased her free nipple, drawing it into a tight bud.
Lucia arched and bucked into each caress even as Noah whispered against her flesh. “You taste so good, princess.” He slid his hand down over her ribs, to her hips, then to the juncture of her thighs. When his fingers moved the cotton to the side, she arched up trying to pull his fingers inside where she wanted them. Noah was happy to oblige, thrusting two fingers deep.
With a strangled curse, he pulled back long enough to yank her panties down her legs. Lucia sat up slightly, struggling to unhook her bra. There was nothing she wanted more than to feel his skin against hers. Noah reached behind her to assist and then threw the bra over his shoulder.
He looked down to where her legs had fallen open and his lips curled up briefly before he slid down and kissed the top of her mound. His tongue found her clit at the same time as his fingers found their way back home. Lucia moaned, and her head fell back at the dual sensations of being licked and penetrated.
“Always so wet for me,” Noah murmured appreciatively.
Lucia didn’t have time to be mortified by the comment because he added his thumb to the equation, circling and rubbing until all the energy in her body shattered into a million fragments of light and heat. He stayed with her as she bucked beneath him, his tongue lashing over and over, drawing every bit of sensation from her.
“Noah, please!”
All she could do was cling to his shoulders as waves of pleasure rolled through her, spreading from the top of her head down to the very tips of her toes. When she could finally open her eyes again, Noah was watching her with a look of dark satisfaction.
“Look at me, princess. I want to see your eyes.”
As soon as their eyes met again, he climbed up her body and arranged her legs over his shoulders. Lucia gulped in air, trying to ready herself for him to take what he wanted. When Noah made love, he didn’t hold anything back and she was so ready for it. He didn’t seem to think that she could handle his deepest secrets, but she knew that no one else could ever accept him the way she could.
His hands settled on either side of her face. “I love you, Lucia.”
She gasped at hearing those words for the first time and then again when he thrust deep. The position allowed her no room to hide and she felt tears well in the back of her eyes. Not from pain but from the stark intimacy of taking him this way, looking deeply in his eyes, accepting everything he had to give.
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He whispered it over and over as he took her hard, like he was afraid that if he didn’t say it enough that it wasn’t real.
But that had been Noah’s only exposure to love, hadn’t it? Something that didn’t last, something that could be taken away from you at any moment. Tenderness swelled inside for this gentle giant of a man who was so afraid to love but had so much of it to give. Lucia’s orgasm broke and she sobbed against his shoulder at the intensity of it.
Noah stilled and she felt him shuddering as his own pleasure took over. She wrapped her arms around him, never wanting to let go of what they’d found together.
For years, Lucia had dreamed about this, making love to him with no reservations. Now it was here and she could hardly believe this was her life. That she could touch him, kiss him, and hold him whenever she wanted, seemed too good to be true. But maybe the universe was done torturing her and she was finally going to get her happy ending.
A shot rang out.
Lucia moaned and tossed her head back and forth. She didn’t want to see what happened next. For the first time, she was aware that she was dreaming but could do nothing to stop the horrible images from unfolding before her. Lucia sobbed silently as she watched Rafe rummage through the glove compartment of his car, knowing what was coming next.
“Stay here. No matter what, okay?”
In her dream, Lucia smiled. She remembered thinking that her brother was always so worried about everything and that he really needed to learn to relax.
“Okay, fine. But really, where am I going to go?”
“I’m serious, Lulu.”
Rafe pressed a gun into her palm and Lucia gasped. She’d never held a gun before, and the cold metal seemed so heavy in her hand.
“Take this. If something happens…you drive out of here as fast as you can.”
“Rafe, I can’t drive yet.”
“I’ve taught you enough. Just drive, Lu. As fast as you can.”
A shot rang out.
Lucia tossed her head and whimpered.
“Rafe!”
She wanted to protect him, to hold him close but where his body was supposed to be, there was nothing but blood. It flowed around her in rivers that threatened to sweep her away. She raised the gun and fired.
“I love you. Come back,” she sobbed, looking around desperately for her brother’s body but it was too late. He was gone.
A shot rang out.
Suddenly, she saw the events happen with crystal clear precision, something that had never happened before. The man who’d shot her brother stood right in front of her, and she could see his profile clearly. Tall, dark hair, and so handsome. She’d come to love him over the past few years as much as she loved Rafe. Suddenly, his face morphed from a blur into Noah’s face.
Lucia trembled in her dream, watching as the shot rang out and Noah jerked. She’d shot him. The shock of it was so horrifying that she woke up with a scream on her lips.
She turned her face into her pillow and sucked in a desperate breath. Noah slept next to her unaware, and she calmed herself by concentrating on the idea that dreams were just her mind’s way of coping with the tragedy. It was just so strange for her mind to torment her by replacing the things she couldn’t remember with Noah’s face. Was it because of the recent changes in their relationship? Was she feeling guilty for moving on with Noah instead of searching for her brother’s killer?
The explanation actually made sense and helped to slow her racing heart. Maybe it was time to listen to Nonna for once and go back to the therapist she’d seen right after Rafe’s death. If she was ever going to move on and live her life, she had to come to terms with things. It wasn’t abandoning her brother to want a normal relationship with a man who loved her. She was finally on the verge of getting everything she’d ever wanted, and she didn’t want to let her fear hold her back.
Noah shifted slightly, and she could tell when he woke up because he stiffened, probably unused to having someone in bed with him. He’d confessed once, after she’d teased him about being a ladies man, that he’d never shared a bed overnight with anyone.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
“Nothing. Just a bad dream. Sorry I woke you.”
“Come here, princess.” He held out his arm.
Determined to move past the horror of the nightmare, she curled up against him, resting her head on his chest. The solid beat of his heart lulled her until she could breathe easily again.
“Better?”
“Yeah. I’m glad you’re here, Noah.” She knew he didn’t relax easily and knew what a big deal it was for him to spend the night with her.
“I’ll always be here for you, Lucia. No matter what.”
Completely content, she closed her eyes and ran her hand over the muscular planes of his chest. He was so beautifully made, and she took her time tracing the dips and curves of his abs, working up over the flat muscles of his pecs and the sharp points of his collarbone. Her fingers skimmed over a mass of rough flesh on his shoulder. Lucia’s brow furrowed as her fingers dipped into the hard knot of skin. It almost felt like…a bullet wound.
She swallowed the sudden sense of unease. Noah was always chasing bad guys; of course he’d probably have bullet wounds. But her fingers kept tracing the skin over and over, and suddenly she was slammed with another image from her dream.
Her own hand holding the gun and then the kick of the weapon as she’d pulled the trigger. She watched as Noah jerked and his hand flew up to cover the wound on his shoulder. Their eyes met, and she’d seen the fear, shame, and guilt in his eyes.
Lucia sat up slowly, horror turning her blood to ice as she stared down at Noah’s chest, fully illuminated by the moonlight coming through the window. She touched the scar again, and then Noah turned to look at her.
“It was you.”
THANK YOU for reading the first book of the exciting new romantic misadventure trilogy, Shameless. Read the next book, Shameful,
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