chapter six
Noah staggered outside Lucia's apartment, slamming the door behind him.
Holy shit. What the hell just happened? One second, they were fighting, the next his lips were on hers and it felt like…bliss.
He was well aware of the location of the cameras, so he waited until he was past the range of the camera right outside her door and before he was within range of the camera at the end of the hallway. His own personal blind spot. He leaned against the wall and tried to collect himself. The blood still rushed in his skull and her scent still permeated every cell of his body.
Fuck, he could barely stand.
What the hell had he been thinking? You know what you were thinking. He ignored the raging lust in his blood. For years, he'd managed to ignore the temptation. How he'd managed to ignore it for so long and then break it in one moment, one ill-advised moment, he had no idea.
This was a disaster.
He'd just been so pissed. It was a familiar feeling lately. He’d felt the same way watching her dating guys who weren’t worthy of her. For once, it was time to get past the bullshit he’d been telling everyone for years about her being nothing more than a little sister to him.
He'd been ill watching her out on a date with another guy. He’d hated the fact that anyone else's hands were on her.
But it wasn't like he could have her himself. There would be no happy endings for the two of them. He was not the kind of guy she could take home to her family. Never mind that Nonna had practically helped to raise him, or had at least seen him into adulthood. That was hardly the point. She deserved someone way better than he was. She deserved a guy who would take her to church on Sundays, rub her feet on Wednesdays and make polite love to her on Fridays.
A guy who wasn't a killer.
A guy who wasn’t so damn good at it.
He pushed away from the wall and inhaled a deep breath. He needed to get his shit together. First things first, he needed to make sure that Matthias scrubbed the surveillance footage of today. The last thing he needed was the guys giving him shit about this. He sure as hell didn't need Jonas with his knowing gaze tracking Noah's movements and his actions. He loved Jonas like a brother, but that shit was annoying.
He needed to sort this out and quick. Step one, keep Lucia safe. Her safety was all that mattered. Step two, never, ever kiss her again. How hard could that be? He'd managed not to touch her for years. He just had to remember all the reasons why he’d stayed away from her all this time.
Next, he needed to figure out who the hell had her in their sights. Because he may not have been able to save Rafe, but there was no way he was going to lose Lucia, too. She and Nonna were the only family he had. And he owed her.
He made the drive uptown back to the office in surprisingly little time. The moment he walked in the loft, he went straight for Matthias.
His shit-eating grin told Noah he’d already seen the video feed. Matthias winked at him. "I have always loved must-see TV."
Noah was in no mood. "I need you to scrub all the surveillance from Lucia's place today. All of it."
Matthias's brows drew down. "Noah, you set the rules. Standard procedure is we keep the footage for a month, and then we archive it. Just in case anything comes up. There might be something on there we may need later, especially given everything we know now."
Noah ground his teeth together, pretty sure he was going to crack a molar any second. "I said, clear the fucking footage."
Matthias stilled, and his eyes went wide. Noah saw that hint of fear, and it made his gut curl.
Even after everything, he couldn’t escape what he was. No matter how far he’d come, he was still the thing that went bump in the night. His own men knew enough to be wary. Why didn't Lucia? How could she look at him with that sweet adoration and blind trust?
He forced himself to take a breath and relaxed his expression. He needed that footage gone, one way or another.
Matthias may have been a little afraid of him, but he wasn't backing down. "No. I'm not going to clear it, mate. I'll clear the segment of you and her in her place. But everything else stays." He shrugged. "Sorry, boss. They’re your bloody rules."
The guy gave him a look that was all steady steel. And not for the first time, Noah was reminded of why he plucked Matthias out of ORUS with him when he left. There was a cold center to the kid that could come out when pushed, and Noah hadn't wanted that cold to grow and take him over completely.
Noah nodded. "Fine. Just erase that footage then."
Matthias nodded. "You got it." He hesitated. "But is now a good time to mention that Jonas has already seen it?"
Noah paused on the way to his quarters and muttered a string of expletives. "How the hell is that possible?"
Matthias shrugged. "Well, you were pretty pissed when you headed over there. None of us have ever seen you that angry before. He wanted to make sure you didn't kill her."
Noah turned to Matthias, working the muscles on his jaw. "I would never hurt Lucia."
Matthias grinned. "Oh we both know. We mostly wanted to see if you'd actually go through with it. For what it's worth, I said no way. Jonas made a cool twenty bucks off of me." He shrugged again. "That's what I get for loyalty."
Jesus Christ. Noah was going to kill Jonas. And then when he was done with Jonas, he was going to kill Matthias. Was it so obvious to everyone? How desperate he was for her? That he was fighting a losing battle with himself?
"Find Jonas. Tell him to get his ass to Lucia’s until I can get there."
"He’s already on his way."
Matthias was the only other one besides Noah who stayed at the loft. He hadn't wanted to at first, but Noah knew the big bosses at ORUS were less than pleased about losing their best hacker. He'd wanted to keep the kid safe. Kind of like Rafe had done for him.
Noah had to remember though, that while Matthias might be young, he wasn't defenseless. The kid was good. Too good.
Kind of like Noah.
Besides, there was safety in numbers. The penthouse was a fortress. But one day, someone might come looking for them.
Noah shook his head. "Whatever." He padded across to his room, his angry stride eating up the concrete. When he reached his private quarters, he slammed the door behind him.
In the solace of his own space, he leaned against the door, his brain oh-so-helpfully replaying every moment of the last three hours. He needed to rewind. Go back to that moment before he kissed her. Because he was never going to survive if he kept thinking about it. So for now, he would just continue like he always had done.
Needing to work off some of the tension, he changed quickly and headed for the treadmill in the workout room. After forty-five minutes of a grueling pace, he hopped in the shower, not allowing himself to linger. Routine. That was what he needed.
Once showered, he finally paid attention to the grumbling in his stomach. Unfortunately, when he opened the freezer, there were signs of Lucia everywhere. All the food she'd brought over. She knew he was useless in the kitchen. Lasagna. Wedding soup. He spent a good deal of his time deliberately making her crazy, but still she took care of him. Because that's what you did for family. And like it or not, Lucia was his family. He would do whatever was necessary to protect her, even from himself.
Noah snapped open his laptop to pull down the status reports from each of their open jobs. But he couldn't find the dongle for his wireless mouse. With a groan, he pushed himself back to his feet and went to the bedroom to retrieve it. When he opened the drawer beside his bed, his heart stopped. Right under the dongle, sat a photo of him, Lucia, Rafe, and Nonna. It had been taken nine months before Rafe died. They looked happy. They looked like family. Back then, he’d been too young to know what he was getting himself into.
Too young to know what he was doing to his soul.
With a curse, he shut the drawer on his past, the guilt gnawing at him. Because of him and his choices, his ego, his friend was dead. If he couldn't forgive himself, how could he ever expect Lucia to? No. She was better off with someone else. Someone who wouldn't get her killed. He knew what he had to do. Protect her with his life and keep his hands off of her.
Resolutely, he pulled out a bag to pack.
Noah Blake was simply the most infuriating man Lucia had ever met. How dare he think he could just dictate her life?
Infuriating. Annoying. Bossy. So damn bossy. And Jesus Christ could the man kiss. He’d left over thirty minutes ago, and she still couldn’t calm her heart rate. Thinking about Noah crashing his lips to hers as he backed her up against the wall made her ache in places. Ache and tingle. Because while something low in her belly pulled at her center, her nipples peaked. Her skin itched, as if it was too tight over her muscles. And her lips, well, she wasn’t talking to them.
Who are you kidding? It was the best kiss you’ve ever had in your life. That was what was missing from her date with Brent. That was what was missing with every guy she ever attempted to date. That heat, lust, longing, need. All of those things.
But why, why did it have to be Noah? She always pictured herself dating a great guy, the kind of person she could bring home to Nonna, but who still also made her feel tingly all over. The kind of guy who wanted to go and meet her friends and hang out having picnics in Bryant Park.
Yes, she maybe watched and read one too many romantic comedies. But that was beside the point. She wanted a normal dating life. Where she would call some guy, chat for hours, and then argue about who would hang up first. Wasn’t that how it was supposed to go? JJ was her only real marker for these kinds of things, and JJ was more of the ‘play hard to get and then screw the guy senseless before leaving him wanting more’ kind of girl.
Lucia couldn't do that. And dammit, Noah was all wrong. There was always an edge to him. A hint of danger.
Rafe had been his mentor of sorts where they worked. Back then, she’d been completely dazzled because he was the only one who had the nerve to swear in front of her. And, he was older, so yeah, of course there was an inappropriate crush.
But she was older now. She got it. She understood that guys with edge, guys with hidden tattoos, who rode motorcycles and checked every movement with their shrewd eyes, those guys were dangerous.
Those were the kind of guys that had killed her brother. She wanted nothing to do with that type of man. Especially not now. She’d been serious when she said she was going to back off. It wasn't worth her life. Rafe wouldn’t want that. But that didn't mean she didn’t feel the pull to Noah like the gravitational force of the sun. Every time she was in a room with him, she couldn't help but track his movements, be aware of him.
Did he feel the same way she did? As she struggled to pin down exactly how she felt, something caught her eye on her coffee table. Noah had left his damn phone. And someone was leaving a message.
Probably one of his many women. Did they know he was busy kissing her? Okay, she needed to stop thinking about that kiss. Because every time she did, her body betrayed her.
She picked up his phone and saw the notification.
ALARM: All secure. Movement in living room.
She stared at the message. What the hell? The rational part of her brain tried to reason with the irrational suspicion bubbling in her blood. It can’t be what you think. No. It couldn’t be what she thought. As she stared at the phone, she knew she was about to cross a line. She’d seen Noah enter his password so many times that she knew it by heart but entering it now would be breaching his trust. Then the phone flashed with another notification.
Oh hell. Lucia entered the code and then gaped at the picture that had just come in. A clear image of her damn living room.
Lucia dropped the phone. She did a quick circle around the room. Holy hell. He had cameras in here? Throughout her house? She shuddered. Sometimes she understood why he was so protective of her, but to have a surveillance camera in her damn house? She was going to kill him.
Her brain scrambled to come to grips with the messages she’d just seen. Murder was the only solution. That was the end of that. She’d hated violence ever since Rafe had been taken from her, but this required bodily harm.
Take a deep breath. Remember what he taught you. Be systematic. She'd always thought Noah was being crazy when he taught her to look for bugs and was hyper about her security; when he’d taught her to put a little piece of tape up above the door so she would know if someone had come into her place unannounced. Even if they hadn’t touched anything.
He taught her all sorts of ways to be sure she was safe. Except she wasn’t safe from him. She stared at her front door, checking the doorframes and the peephole. After that, she systematically moved to the walls. She checked all the picture frames, picking them up off their hangings, inspecting the frame, looking for anything that could be a camera or that looked ‘off.’ One by one, she rehung the pictures and then moved over into the living room to the bookcase. After a thorough scan, she found what she was looking for. Right dead-center of her bookcase, was the picture frame Noah had given her for Christmas last year. In it, she’d put a picture of her, Noah and Nonna from Christmas breakfast that morning.
In the picture, her grandmother was squeezing her tight, leaning up to give her a kiss on the cheek. On her other side stood Noah, smiling but somehow a bit separate in the image. He was somehow always there, always a part of her family. But not really. All this time, how long had he been watching her? And why? It was time for some damn answers.
But first, she was going to find the rest of it. She wanted all the surveillance gone. She knew everyone thought she was so innocent and needed to be sheltered. She might not know exactly what Noah did, but she knew the kind of man he was. Protective. Strong. But this? She stared down at the picture. This was going too far. She spent the next hour meticulously searching her house. She didn't want to tamper with the security system in case that was actually necessary. But the moment he was back, she would have him remove anything that was in there.
After a thorough sweep, she found two bugs and two cameras, both sets in the living room and kitchen. Luckily, there were none in her bedroom. Thank God, but that didn’t let Noah off the hook. He was going too far. She knew he felt like he had to take care of her after Rafe died, but this…this was another level. She wasn't going to stand for it. As soon as he got back, he was going to give her some answers.