That night we didn't even pretend. He waited in the wings the whole time I was doing the break-down, and the second I finished, he took my hand.

I let him be on top this time. Because I trusted him.

When it was over and we were lying in a tangle of limbs, half falling off the bed, he pushed up onto his elbow and looked at me for a long time. Outside the hotel window, the rain was making a gentle pattering racket, a steady dripping sound that soothed something inside of me. I reached out and took Niall's hand as we lay there in the quiet for a moment.

Every time I looked at him, I found something new to be surprised about. "What are you smiling about?" he asked with a grin.

"Besides the fact that you just gave me three orgasms in a row?"

"Well now, it was my pleasure."

"Such a gentleman," I teased, pushing up on my elbow and reaching to touch the spot on his cheek where I'd been staring. "No, I was laughing because you have a tornado in your beard." I moved my finger in a circle, tracing the patterns in his stubble. "Right here. It's like a crop circle or something."

"It's a secret message."

"Yeah? Thought you didn't like secrets."

He tucked his chin a little. "Hey now."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. You're right. So I'll tell you what the secret is." He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. "The secret is I'm crazy about you."

My heart felt like it was too big for my chest. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said. "And I don't think I've done a very good job of keeping it."

"No," I laughed. "I definitely knew something was up." I gestured to our naked bodies and the condoms in the trash. "Call it a sixth sense."

He leaned in, suddenly serious. "Tell me something about you?" He was watching me so avidly, so closely.

I swallowed. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"That's a lot."

"Start with the beginning."

"Well I told you I'm from Pennsylvania already, right? Small town called Claybrook."

"Yeah."

"Coal country, or what used to be anyway."

"Miners and all that?"

"My granddaddy was, yeah." I leaned back and looked up at the ceiling as he ran his fingers lightly up and down my arm. "Things were drying up by the time my dad was set to head down there. But he was glad they stopped producing, even though it meant the town went to shit. He never wanted to end up in the mines."

"And your mum?"

"Died when I was four."

"I'm sorry."

"I only remember her a little. Like a smell and a feeling. Nice feelings." I closed my eyes for a moment. I hadn't cried for my mother since the day of her funeral. "She was a nice woman and losing her kind of broke my dad."

"Grief is a terrible thing."

"Yeah." I held my tongue. "So, he had to raise me and my brother by himself and I think he might have hated us for it, a little you know?" Niall blinked, not understanding and I hurriedly explained, "Well he wanted to be a musician, you see. He could sing, beautifully too, back before he destroyed his voice." I caught myself and quickly said, "I can remember his songs around the house, floating up while I was in bed. I always felt so safe when he'd sing. Like nothing could go wrong. I think that's what put me on the path to music." I turned to look at him. "How about you?"

He nodded. "Well my path was always right in front of my face, I imagine. My mum put me in piano lessons when I was four. Tally - my sister Tallula - she was even younger when she started."

"Did you love it?"

He nodded again. "I mostly loved the power it gave me, you know.? There's a sort of order to it. You can settle a lot of things in your head by sitting down at an instrument."

"I get that."

"How many do you play?" he asked.

"Guitar and bass, basically. I could maybe fake my way around a piano. What about you?"

He was silent a second.

I sat up a little. "Did you hear me?"

"I'm still counting."

My mouth fell open. "You're kidding."

"No." He paused. "Twenty three." He wrinkled his brow. "I think. Might be a few woodwinds I missed."

"Jesus."

He shrugged. "It made my mum happy, so I did it."

"She's important to you."

"Course she is. She's my family."

I bit my lip. "Tell me about where you grew up?"

"Middle of the countryside, outside of London."

"There's a countryside outside of London?

He grinned at me. "Yes, you cheeky girl, and it's the greenest, most beautiful place in the world."

"Can't be," I said. "Because that's where I grew up."

He chuckled. "There's that smell, you know what I mean? After the rain?"

"Course I do, it comes up out of the ground."

"That always made me feel so safe, that smell." The rain pattered against the windows and he looked towards it wistfully. "Wish we could smell it now."

"Do the windows here even open?"

He shook his head. "Not this high up."

"Well, let's imagine then."

"Right. And we can also imagine we smell hay and the horses."

"That smell is the best," I sighed. "There was a horse pasture down the road from where I grew up. I used to drive out into the middle of the fields at night in a pickup truck. I'd lie down in the bed and watch the stars in August. The meteor showers."

"The sounds bloody fantastic."

I nodded, choosing to remember the beauty of those nights in the fields, rather than the reason I'd left my house in the first place. "You'd fall asleep," I sighed wistfully. "And the first noise that you'd hear when you woke would be the sounds of the cicadas in the trees, the start of those hot long days."

He rolled over. "Sounds beautiful," he said, kissing the tip of my nose. "Of course someone as beautiful as you came from such a beautiful place."

I smiled and nudged his nose with mine. "You're pretty okay too, you know that?"

"I'm serious, Reese."

"So am I."

"No, like... 'I love you' serious."

I held my breath, watching as he slowly blinked and then nodded firmly. "Right," he said. "I'm serious about that too."

"You love me?" I whispered.

"I have for a bloody long while now," he said, kissing my hand.

"Good," I said faintly.

"Good?" he echoed with upraised eyebrows.

"Good," I crowed, leaping up and throwing myself against him. "Because I seriously love you too."

He caught me up, kissing me hard enough to steal the breath from my lungs and this time he let me be on top.