CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CJ
“Even so, I must admire your skill. You are so gracefully insane.”
- Anne Sexton
Blake didn’t respond to my text message, and I debated whether or not I should go back to Brady’s house and toss her over my shoulder and haul her away. While I debated, I paced back and forth in my living room and stared at my phone, waiting for it to ding with a new message. Every step I took caused the zipper of my jeans to rub against my dick. I was tempted to just take my fucking pants off, but keeping it tucked inside the confines of my pants was aiding in my self-control. What little I had left, anyway.
Just when I was on the verge of giving in and snatching my car keys so I could go drag Blake back here, she came bursting through my door.
“Fucking jerk!” She yelled before shoving me. I was caught so unaware that I actually stumbled back a few steps.
“What the hell, Blake? What is your problem?”
Her fury morphed into something unreadable. Like a mixture of disbelief, humor and pure rage. It was scary as shit, and I knew my annoyed shout had only escalated whatever the hell was going on with her.
“What is my problem? Are you fucking serious right now?!”
“Alright, just calm down and we can-“
Blake scoffed. “You can’t tell a woman to calm down when she’s upset! Have you ever even had a girlfriend?”
She slapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes going comically wide. I thought about letting her off the hook, but she’d just stormed into my apartment and went berserk, then referred to herself as my girlfriend. How in the hell was I supposed to just skate right past that without giving her shit?
“It shouldn’t surprise me that you’ve already given yourself the title of being my girlfriend. After all the ways you’ve inserted yourself into my life, you’d think I’d be used to it by now.”
Annoyance replaced the horror in her eyes. “You left me there. After you… you… that!”
My lips twitched. “After I what, Blake? Say it.”
She crossed her arms and glared at me. I debated teasing her more, but we had bigger things to deal with.
“There a reason you’re so angry with me?”
“Are you kidding me right now? You left without a word. Not even a measly kiss goodbye! Hell, you text Malcolm to say you’d had to take off!”
“I text you first.”
Blake stopped short, and it dawned on me why she was so angry.
“You didn’t read my text,” I said, rather than asked, then watched as she pulled it out of her back pocket. I could recite the message from memory, since I’d been staring at it for twenty minutes, waiting for her to respond.
Couldn’t face our friends in my…condition. Think of an excuse and get your sexy ass to my place ASAP.
She paled visibly and gulped before looking up at me with embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry. I was so upset, I didn’t even think to check my phone.”
I started to go to her, because surprisingly, I wasn’t bothered at all that she’d freaked out. Hell, if anything, my ego was a little inflated. But then her remorse shifted back to anger, and I was the one stopping short.
“But that doesn’t explain your behavior afterward. You didn’t say a word. Didn’t touch me. You just…left.”
God, I am such a dick.
I was such a different person with Blake. Tender, compassionate, thoughtful and a whole bunch of other words that would most likely wind up with me having my man card revoked if I admitted them out loud, but it was the truth. She brought out a different side of me, one I’d never known existed. The pain and vulnerability in her eyes gutted me. I’d never been an outright prick, but I didn’t go around censoring myself and worrying about everyone’s feelings all the time. Even with my mom and sisters, it was different. I didn’t want to hurt them, but I didn’t feel an overwhelming need to comfort them and make everything better when someone else did, either. Sure, I’d threatened more than one guy and even made good on one of those threats, but that was the extent of my nurturing.
The idea of someone hurting Blake didn’t just make me want to throw some punches, it made me murderous. Knowing I was the one causing her pain? I felt like the lowest form of life.
She let me close the distance between us, and when my hand cupped her cheek, she closed her eyes and leaned into it. Even upset, she trusted me, sought comfort in me. And I was screwing everything up.
I waited for her to open her eyes again before speaking. What I planned to say was important and I needed her to know I meant it.
“I’m not good at this, Blake.” Understatement of the century. “I had a couple girlfriends in high school, but nothing serious. I’ve never had to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing where women were concerned, because I never cared about them enough to keep them around. You’re different. I’m different with you.”
She turned her head and kissed the palm of my hand, but waited patiently for me to gather my thoughts. I was honestly terrified of saying the wrong thing. That probably should have felt emasculating, but it didn’t. Blake was more important than my pride.
“It took every ounce of strength I had not to take you right there in that bathroom, but you deserve more than that. I knew if I tried to speak or let myself touch you, even innocently, my control would snap. I was hanging on by a thread. I’m sorry that I handled it wrong. I never should have let things go as far as they did back there, but I can’t help myself where you’re concerned.”
Blake sniffed. “Still shouldn’t have left like that.”
I pressed my forehead to hers. “I’m sorry. Never again. Okay?”
Leaning up onto the tips of her toes, Blake kissed me softly. I took that to mean I was forgiven.
Spearing my fingers through her hair, I tilted her head and deepened the kiss. She opened for me immediately and I groaned appreciatively. My hands slid down her sides, around her hips to cup her ass. Blake jumped up, wrapping her legs around me, grinding her hot center over my persistent erection.
My need for her was fierce, but I forced myself not to give in to the frantic ache to be inside her. I wanted to take my time, explore every inch of her body.
I knew Blake was fighting the same struggle. Even as I walked us to my bedroom, she continued rolling her hips, seeking relief.
“Patience, baby,” I whispered, smiling against her lips when she whimpered.
The walk to my bedroom felt miles long. Granted, I was navigating blindly, unwilling to peel my mouth away from Blake’s neck, and her constant grinding was making walking a little difficult. Finally my shins hit the edge of my mattress and I lowered her to the bed. Immediately she reached for the hem of my shirt, tugging it up slightly.
“I want to see you,” she whispered softly.
I gripped the back of my shirt over my head, yanking it off with one quick tug and tossed it aside. Delicate fingers immediately traced the large scar just below my ribcage. The tender, almost reverent way Blake touched my mottled skin felt like she were reaching right into my chest cavity and gripping my heart inside her tiny palm. So effortlessly, Blake was demolishing all of my meticulously constructed walls. Walls that had been impenetrable at one time. Walls that now, thanks to Blake, stood on shaky foundation and threatened to crumble any second.
Her lips replaced her fingertips, sliding softly over every jagged edge of my disfigured torso.
My breath caught in my throat. Every swipe of her lips sent more blood rushing to my dick. I couldn’t take it anymore.
Gripping her waist, I slid her up the bed until her head hit the pillow. Too impatient to remove the offending fabric, I latched onto a nipple through her the fabric of her dress. Blake cried out when I bit down, pushing her breast farther into my mouth. I broke away just long enough to yank the top of her dress down, moaning when my tongue flicked the hard bud.
Her greedy hands yanked on my hair, tugging me toward the other breast. I chuckled but obeyed. My laughter died off when she lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist, pulling my dick right to the center of her heat. I was trying like hell to go slow, but when her heels dug into my ass, pushing me up harder against her, going slow felt like the dumbest fucking idea I’d ever had.
“You’re killing me, Blake,” I growled.
“I don’t want to kill you,” she growled right back. “I want to fuck you.”
Her hand was making quick work of my zipper. I reached down to help her when my boxers snagged on my painfully hard erection. Blake gasped when it sprung free.
“If you don’t get that thing in me in the next thirty seconds, I am going to make your life a living hell.”
She wiped the smile right off my face by wrapping her fist around my dick and squeezing. I covered her hand with mine, slowly dragging it up and down once, then twice, before pulling her hand all the way off. I kissed the corner of her mouth when she scowled.
“This will be over way too soon if you don’t keep your paws to yourself.”
When my hand snaked down her hip, I found her bottom completely bare. No idea how she’d managed to get naked from the waist down without my noticing, but I wasn’t about to complain. I dipped one finger between her folds and about shot off right there when I found her wet and ready for me. Her entire body tensed when I slipped one, then two fingers inside of her. She was tight and as close to the edge as I was.
Reluctantly I pulled my hand away from her center and reached across the bed to the nightstand to pull out a condom. The anxious little sex kitten beneath me was too impatient to let me do it myself. She ripped it out of my hand tore it open at record speed.
“You had better be good with that massive dick of yours, so help me God. I expect at least two orgasms tonight,” she threatened as she rolled the condom down my shaft.
She hadn’t even had time to pull her hand away when I thrust forward, burying myself deep inside of her. First her eyes shot open wide, but when I slowly dragged myself back out until only the tip remained inside, her eyes rolled back into her head. I stayed there, pulsating just inside of her, torturing us both. This time when I pushed into her heat, I took my time. Even through the condom I could feel how hot and slick she was, her walls convulsing around me, trying their damnedest to milk the cum out of me.
Her nails bit into my skin when she’d apparently had enough of my teasing. She gripped my ass like it was a lifeline, and though I was on top, she tried to take control. Digging her heels into the mattress, she pushed up. My length sank so deep inside of her that I bottomed out. We groaned simultaneously, but when she bucked her hips trying to get me to move, I’d had enough.
“You’ll get your turn, Blake, but if you don’t quit trying to take control I will tie you to this bed.”
Something flashed in her already dilated eyes. She liked that idea. And fuck if that didn’t make me impossibly harder.
Reaching behind me, I grabbed her hands and tore them from my ass cheeks where she’d clawed me so hard she likely drew blood. At the same time I pinned her arms over her head, I pulled out and drove back in hard enough to make us both cry out. From there, it was a frenzied blur of mouths and hands. Our bodies were slick with sweat and the swells of her breasts had teeth marks that mirrored the ones she left on my shoulders. When I reached between us to circle her nub with my middle finger, she retaliated by kissing me with so much ferocity that our lips would likely be bruised in the morning.
Even after Blake cried out my name, her body spasming as it squeezed every last drop of life out of me, I wanted her again. If anything, my need to be inside of her felt even more severe than before. I’d always recovered quickly, but I’d never stayed hard like this. I actually worried if my erection would ever leave now that I knew what it felt like to be buried so far inside of her that we truly became one person.
“Already?” she panted when I started rolling on another condom the second I pulled the first one off. Instead of answering I drove myself home. My head fell to her shoulder. I sucked in a shuddering breath. Would I ever get enough? If I had to guess right that second, I’d say no. Sex had never been anything more than a release. Until Blake.
With her nails gently scraping the skin of my back, our breathing syncing as I lay there buried deep inside her, a calm spread over me. Like a soothing balm on a severe burn.
The intensity of the moment had gone from frenzied to almost desperate. And maybe most of that was one-sided, but the emotions she was pulling from the depths of my soul were too heavy for me to combat. Though my erection was still hard as steel, the rest of my body seemed to be succumbing to exhaustion.
It felt like coming down from an adrenaline high. My body shook, cold seeping into my bones, turning my blood to ice in my veins.
Blake noticed the shift in the room, in me, immediately. She gently pushed on my shoulder until I lay on my back. We never broke our connection as she followed until she lay on top.
What the hell was wrong with me? Was I seriously about to fucking fall apart during sex?
My pride was about to bitchslap me back to sanity, but Blake’s mouth trailing hot kisses down my jaw ceased all thought entirely.
Each press of her lips, every hot breath that fanned across my skin, pulled me deeper into the moment. The chill inside of me started to thaw, like she was literally breathing life into me. Then she started moving. Slowly at first, a gentle rock of her hips as she kissed across my chest and back up my neck. When she found my mouth, I came back to life. One jerk of my hips and she was fully impaled again. She sat up, pressing her palms to my chest and throwing her head back as she rode me. Her perky tits bounced. I sat up enough to pull one into my mouth. Blake fell forward and cried out. I sucked her in deeper, flicking her nipple with my tongue.
“Mmmm,” I hummed when I switched to the other breast. “So sensitive,” I said before blowing cool air on her already puckered nipple, making the skin pull taut.
“CJ please,” Blake begged, her nails digging into my skin.
I growled. Gripping her hips, I tossed her onto her back and climbed on top. Hooking my hand under one knee, I pulled her leg up and around my middle. The position let me push in deeper than I thought possible, and we both moaned.
Despite having came only a few minutes prior, I was already on the precipice. “Touch yourself,” I commanded. She didn’t hesitate. The second her finger circled her nub, I felt her walls clench around me. I felt her orgasm approaching. “Look at me.” Her eyes popped open right as her orgasm hit her. Watching her eyes gloss over, her pupils dilate, her mouth fall open with a silent cry; it sent me right over the edge with her.
I broke away long enough to tie the condom and toss it into the trashcan near my bed, then I pulled her close and cradled her to my chest. I’d never wanted someone the way I wanted Blake, physically and emotionally. Holding her close, I realized it was more than want, though. It was need. I needed to feel the heat from her skin seeping into mine. Needed to feel the beat of her heart beneath my palm. I needed Blake like I needed air. Blake was no longer just part of my life…
She was a part of me.