I’d kept Eric away from his chores for most of the day as we made love throughout the house, each time choosing a different room. By the time evening came, my stomach was grumbling.

“Where did you get those muffins?” I asked.

“Claire brought them over. I have a feeling you may have met my ex in town.”

“Aha, I met her, all right.”

“So I see she got to you?”

I shook my head. “No, she didn’t get to me. But she did make a point of saying that I wouldn’t last here much longer.”

Eric took me onto his lap. Because he was wearing only his boxers, I could feel his legs underneath my ass. My panties and his over-sized shirt on my body didn’t provide much of a barrier between us.

“Emma, I want you to stay with me. I mean it. But I know how much your job and your family mean to you. I could never ask you to leave that behind.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, because I’ve met them, and you’re so good at what you do.”

“No, I mean, why do you want me to stay?” I whispered, wondering if it was at all possible that Eric had fallen for me as hard as I had for him. It wasn’t until I spoke with Mrs. Gladden in town that I realized I was feeling so guilty over David because my feelings for Eric had grown to the enormity of what I’d felt for my first boyfriend – and even beyond.

“I… I just do. I want you with me, at this ranch. What I feel for you is nothing I’ve had before. Never. You’re my woman. You’re my everything.”

Why couldn’t he say it? Was it so difficult for him to say he loved me? What if he didn’t? What if I had fallen for a man who couldn’t reciprocate what I felt for him?

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Aah, I guess I do.”

“You guess?”

“I do. I trust you.”

Eric reached to the couch where I’d left my scarf and with a smug grin said, “It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“And how do you know what I’m thinking?”

“Because I know you. But we can postpone that thought for another time, I promise.”

I sighed, wondering what he’d planned now and noting how swiftly he had changed the topic.

“Close your eyes.”

I obeyed as he tied the silk around my eyes, reducing the room to darkness. As soon as my sight was taken away, all my other senses heightened. The crackling fireplace echoed as if it had been burning for hours, not minutes, consuming much more space than the pit. The smell of the bubbling dinner still in the crock pot filled my nostrils, and Eric’s touch on my hand warmed my entire body in an instant. When he gently leaned over and I felt his breath on my face, I couldn’t help but smile. He lowered his lips to mine, kissing me ever so gently. I tasted the remnants of wine on his lips as my body yielded to him, letting him embrace me tighter and hold me. His shaft hardened underneath me as I wiggled my ass.

“I like where this is going,” I whispered.

“It doesn’t take much to please you, does it?”

I shrugged.

“There’s a part of this home I haven’t shown you yet, and I’d love to do so now.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it’s a hidden gem. Come.” He lifted me off him but held me tightly around my waist.

I leaned into him, letting him guide me with small steps, trusting his hold. “There’s a table on your left. Be careful. Right there, that’s it. You’re doing great, Emma,” he cooed into my ear as he led me.

Few moments later a light squeak of hinges resonated from above and I heard Eric’s strained breath as he seemed to reach for something. A rolling noise was next, and it sounded like the entire ceiling fell off right onto the floor, which of course I knew couldn’t have happened. A slight smell of dust and wood intensified, camouflaged by an odd freshness.

“You’re going to take twelve steps up. They’re very steep. I’ll hold onto you from behind so you don’t fall.”

“You just want to look at my ass.”

“That too,” he laughed. “I guess some responsibilities come with an advantage.” Eric gently slapped my backside, whispering into my ear, “First step right in front of you.”

“I didn’t know this house had a staircase.”

“I wouldn’t call it a staircase.”

“Which must mean we’re going to the attic.”

“Perceptive, but no. Up you go.”

What?

I took my second step and Eric was correct. They were quite high. He held onto my hips from behind, steadying my stance. His warm breath caressed my lower back. I tried to reach to the side but there was nothing to grasp and I lost my balance for a moment.

“I’ve got you. You’re okay, Emma. Three more to go.”

A floral scent with a hint of dust filled me.

“Last one, and then you can walk forward.”

I listened to his instructions, feeling the surface underneath my feet change when I reached the top of wherever we were going. I was still convinced we were in an attic, but when the fresh country air slammed into me, as if I were outside, I gasped. Where were we? I knew there were no balconies on the house.

“OK, are you ready?”

“Yes,” I said with anticipation.

Eric removed the scarf from my eyes, and I couldn’t believe where he’d taken me. At first, it was difficult to get my bearings. We stood at what seemed like the top of the roof. The dark night was illuminated by the twinkling universe above. My head jolted up, taking in the millions of stars in the sky, which looked close enough to fall on us, as if we’d lifted off Earth and traveled at least half way through our atmosphere.

“Eric, this is beautiful.” I turned back to see that there was, in fact, an attic behind us. We were at the edge of a huge gap which opened up to the roof. The flaps had been flipped onto the shingles on the side. Eric guided me a step further.

“OK, be careful, but if you go over the hump, there will be a more level area there.”

He guided me toward a landing of sorts, slightly tilted to let the water run off. The willow tree in the back obscured the view of this secret hideaway. I sat down on the ready blanket, crossing my legs and leaning on my hands. My head tilted back, and I looked up to the sky above us. This view was breathtaking. Millions of stars above us and the universe what seemed like within reach.

“You said you were hungry.” Eric began unloading food from a basket at the side.

“When did you get this ready?”

“While you were in the shower.”

“I was wondering why you didn’t jump in.” It was rare that Eric could resist joining me while I bathed.

“Now you’re making me wish I had.” I saw him adjust his straining boxers. His scarred brow lifted, adding a spark of hunger to his eyes.

“The night is young,” I laughed digging into the delicious stew he’d prepared.

“And your spirit is contagious. Are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked.

“I hope so. Should I be expecting Claire to make a claim on you?”

“I’m already spoken for, but yes, I wouldn’t put it past her to try to get under your skin.”

“She’s already said you had her in the barn.”

“Oh, Emma. Is that why you… today?” He sat there with his mouth open.

“Partly. I guess I was jealous. I’m sorry. But I still wanted you there. Are you mad?” Sometimes, placing so much emphasis onto the barn sex, I thought I sounded silly. After all, there were much more comfortable places to make love than that.

“No, of course not. There is no one else in the world I wanted to share this with. I’m just sorry you had to listen to her lying mouth. Yes, I’d had her in a barn when we dated, but not that one. For her to say that… I swear I’m gonna…”

“You’re not going to do anything. I don’t blame any woman who swoons over you. It’s your own fault for being so sexy and giving.”

“Sexy?” He tackled me to the floor of the roof, kissing me.

Our bodies entwined with each other, his thigh resting comfortably in the apex of my crotch, gently pressing in, lifting me into his arms. His warmth penetrated my skin, reviving my need. I grasped his arms, holding on, savoring his mouth, feeling like I could kiss him like this until sunrise.

“I visited Mrs. Gladden today,” I said, pulling away.

He regarded me from above. “That’s a big step, Em.”

“Yeah, it helped. She helped. You know, the people in this town, for the most part, are lovely.”

“They really are.”

“I’m also done my work here.”

I felt Eric still above me before he rolled to the side.

“All right, what does that mean?”

“It means that until I get a new ping on Huntz, I’m pretty free.”

“Ping?” he asked.

“My assistant is tracking his banking activity and credit movement. He operates with cash, for the most part, withdrawing and depositing money every few months.”

“What will you do if you get it?”

“I’ll go find him.” I raised my finger. “And before you argue against it, I’ll take Hunter.”

I saw Eric flinch when I mentioned Grace’s boyfriend.

“He works undercover at Cross Enterprises and does some computer forensics. And he’s dating my best friend, so you have nothing to worry about. I actually set them up together. Grace texted me that his workload has eased, and he’d be perfect to come with me. Don’t worry. He’s quite capable of handling bad guys, Eric.”

“Maybe you should drop the case, Emma,” he said, lowering his head.

“No way. I can feel I’m getting closer. It’s an instinct. I can’t explain it.”

“That worries me.”

“Yeah, but Huntz has no clue who I am. There’s no reason why he’d go after me.”

I saw him finally exhale. “Just let me know when it happens. Please?”

“Of course.”

“All right. Now where were we?” His mouth lifted into a grin and he leaned in, forcing me to lie down on my back. Eric hovered above me, his beautifully bright eyes resembling the stars.

“You were about to tell me downstairs why you want me on your farm.”

“I don’t remember that.” He kissed my lips.

“You’re stalling.”

“With you underneath me, all hot and wanton, it’s difficult to concentrate.”

“I’m the wanton one?”

“Aren’t you?”

Of course I was, but so was he, and he’d changed the subject again, raising his arms to reach underneath his head, making those muscles underneath his arms widen. I lay on his chest, looking up into the sky as the stars twinkled above us. As I admired a cluster of stars, Eric lifted his hand above us both. A necklace with a sparkling horseshoe dangled on his finger. “For you, to remind you of me and tonight and the farm.”

I held my breath, watching the sparkles around the trinket sparkle in the dim light.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you, but you know I could never forget you.”

“That’s good, Em, because I certainly wouldn’t forget you.”

There was an awkward silence between us, as if each of us wanted to say more but didn’t know how to do so.

“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like to have Skyler around?” I asked.

“All the time. Annabelle and I would both have had an older sister to look up to. Maybe she could have heard him coming? I think she’s somewhere up there, looking over us, though.” He nodded toward the sky.

“After the kidnapping, how did they find you?”

Eric sighed deeply. “I failed Annabelle. Once the girl let us out, we wandered through the forest at night. My sister was frail and weak. We sat down underneath a large pine when we heard Huntz following us. Annabelle could no longer move. She insisted I go ahead and find help. And I left here there, Emma. I fucking left my sister on her own, nearly freezing and so close to the bastard. It was twelve hours before I saw her again. Claire found her wandering on a road beside the forest. I have a feeling that whatever had happened in those twelve hours Annabelle has kept inside her all these years. She told me she waited until Huntz passed, but I don’t believe her. And it’s all my fault.”

Eric’s pain flew through me. The guilt and regret of him leaving Annabelle on her own clearly tore through my soul. Was there anything I could say to ease his conscience?

“Maybe she’s telling the truth. And if she isn’t... You didn’t have any choice. You went to get help.”

“Except that I couldn’t help, Em. I couldn’t even fucking remember where I’d left her.”

“Eric, you need to let this go. It’s not your fault. The stress and fear of the kidnapping would have traumatized anyone. And you were only fifteen!”

He shot up and sat, leaning his head on his knees, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have left her.”

I uncoiled his arms from around his knees and took his chin into my hand. “Look at me, Eric.”

His gaze lifted, and bright eyes shone with forced back tears.

“You’ve done nothing wrong. This isn’t your fault.”

“What about all those girls at the camp? We could have saved their innocence, but held back. Em, can’t you see I failed everyone? Can’t you see I’m going to fail you too?”

And it all started making sense. Eric’s fear of failure had been developing since childhood. First, it was Annabelle and his mother when they were kidnapped. Then the camp where he witnessed the brutal murder and rape of not only boys but also girls, and now he was afraid to open up fully to me as I was the one working on his case. He thought I’d get close to Huntz, who would inevitably hurt me, and he was taking unnecessary blame for the future into his heart.

I took a deep breath in. After the trauma Eric had gone through... If that had happened to a kid in New York, a therapist would have talked to him, would have helped him heal. Instead, all these years, Eric had kept this pain inside him. He blamed himself for others’ sins and had never been able to move on. The layers of guilt crossed and mingled – it would take a long time for him to heal.

“Baby, please.” I smoothed my hand over his cheek. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You cannot predict what could have happened if your actions were different. It could have been worse or better. The point is that lives were saved, and more than likely that was all your doing. You need to let go, baby.” I kissed his hand before leaving it on my knee. “You need to let it all out.”

I crouched beside him, pulling out his legs, and then straddled him right on top of the roof. Smoothing back his dark hair, I drew my fingers under those beautiful eyes, looking deep into them, trying to pull out every secret he’d ever held onto. I needed him to let it all go.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered. “And if you do fail me, know that my brothers will haunt you and there will be no place on Earth you could hide away.”

He chuckled before pulling me to him and gently kissing my lips. “I don’t doubt that, Em.”

The touch of his mouth on my cooling skin remained for long after. In fact every single one of his kisses had. On my cheeks, along my neck, and my shoulders once he removed my shirt from my body, and on every single scar I had on my legs from my accident. He called them my beauty marks. I pressed myself to him and gave myself to him, letting him forget and heal as he lost himself inside me, our rocking bodies and tender kisses helping to erase a dreadful past, at least for a moment.