It was time. I’d been away from the office for almost two weeks nursing a nasty sickness that, contrary to Walker’s assertions, was not pregnancy related, and it was time to get back to work. I wasn’t feeling one hundred percent, but there was only so much I could do from home without risk of affecting my assistant who’d done a good job in my absence. Lara had done such great work, that if my body and heart wasn’t sick, I would have been worried.

As it was, I couldn’t turn off my brain which wouldn’t stop the endless loop of self-loathing and told ya so’s. Walker was a jerk without a doubt, but I was the fool who ignored her instincts, who ignored warnings from his best friend. He wasn’t the kind of guy to commit, not even when it was clear he had feelings that went beyond wanting to stick his dick in me. No matter what I’d seen in his deep green eyes, I knew who he was and still I let myself believe.

The worst part of it all, the thing that left me so disgusted with myself I could barely look at my reflection as I whipped my hair into a loose bun and put on just enough makeup to pass for a person among the living, was that I still dreamed of him. I still wanted him, still burned for him. It was pathetic and I could only hope that in this case, time was the healer it was purported to be.

I gave myself one last look in the mirror and went to gather my things as the doorbell rang. Like a fool, my heart leapt at the thought it could be Walker. But the smarter part of me, my brain, was in charge and knew better. A quick look in the peephole revealed both of my brothers, and I groaned.

“We heard that, now you have to open up,” Lukas said

“What are you guys doing here? With food.” That meant something was wrong. Blake now had Poppy and Maple to make sure he was fed, and Lukas ate out every night of the week. Food meant they had bad news. “Come in.”

Blake frowned. “Were you going out?”

“Figured I’d sneak in to get some work done while everyone was gone. What’s in the bag?”

“Lasagna.”

Good, because I hadn’t eaten since lunch and that was just brown rice and chicken broth. I pounced on the bag as soon as it hit the table, ignoring the imposing pests staring at me with concern. As always. They may be kings of the business world but I could wait them out, feeling their heavy gazes on my back as I grabbed dishes.

The lasagna was tall and cheesy and I ate it like the starving woman I was, while also waiting out Blake and Lukas.

“Your proposal was good, Lacey. Really good, just about perfect in fact.” I heard his positive words, but they were both here which meant there was more.

“It’s too bad you’ve been under the weather,” Lukas said in a way that sounded like he thought it was a lie. “We’re taking your idea and running with it. As a partnership with Titus Media.” The dramatic pause after his announcement was clearly meant for me to play the role of emotional female, but I wasn’t biting.

How fitting that my idea, my brainchild would benefit the man who thought so little of me. I might be dying on the inside, but I trusted my brothers in business, and I knew Peak Adventures would benefit as much as he would.

“Sounds like you guys have it under control. I’m sorry I couldn’t make KBBM work.” It would be nice if I could blame this on Walker too, but it was on me. Probably. I didn’t want to let Blake down, but I had. Now I could only hope the podcast thing was a sufficient consolation prize.

“You did your best, Lace. They just aren’t ready to sell.” I knew Blake wanted me to believe him, but I could tell by the disappointed set of his shoulders and that slightly angry crinkle between his brows that he didn’t believe it.

“Thanks for dinner.” There really wasn’t anything more to say, so I finished my lasagna and listened with half an ear as they talked about the details. I should have been grateful to salvage what I could of this deal but all I could think was that they’d made the whole deal behind my back. The Walker factor wasn’t as bad as the fact that they’d used my absence to keep me out of the loop.

Lukas ate his food like his plate was on fire, as usual. If he weren’t good looking, he would never get laid with those table manners. He piled more on his plate but he didn’t eat, instead he just stared. At me.

“What’s going on with you and Walker? You’ve been sick for weeks and he’s just being an asshole.”

I dropped my fork and glared at him. “None of your business.”

Lukas sighed, but he wore his determined look. “Come on, Lacey, he looks worse than you do. He doesn’t want to go out, and he won’t talk about it. What happened?”

Even though I felt a measure of satisfaction that our separation had impacted him, I didn’t want to hear that he was struggling. “I’m not talking about this with you, dammit.” Walker wasn’t my business anymore.

“Let it go, Luke,” Blake admonished, always the father figure. “If Lacey wants to talk about it she knows she can talk to us. Or Poppy,” he added smoothly, shooting me a wink that was completely out of character for him.

“How are you coping with a pregnant Poppy?” I knew that would keep the conversation going for a while because Poppy texted me regular updates on everything from her itchy nipples to weird cravings she wanted to make into a ‘thing’.

“For the most part it’s great, watching her body change with our kid but everything makes her emotional. A commercial for a season finale made her cry, and the news sent her on a fifteen minute rage tangent about corruption and the shrinking middle class. It’s a land mine.” It sounded horrible to me, but the smile on my big brother’s face said he was enjoying every moment of it.

“Yeah you sound like you’re real miserable, Blake,” Lukas scoffed.

They went back and forth teasing and I appreciated their attempts to cheer me up but it wasn’t necessary. I would be fine. “Thanks for dinner guys but I don’t need a babysitter.” Before they could object, I went on. “You have a pregnant wife, who I’m sure is thinking up something awful like peaches and tuna.”

Blake smiled, but shook his head. “She’s not my wife yet. And don’t get me started. On Monday she had to have tofu and cucumber sandwiches.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” I told him, holding back a smile.

“Drizzled in chocolate.”

It was a combination of his deadpan delivery and the thought of those awful sandwiches that had me doubled over with laughter. That’s exactly why Poppy was perfect for Blake. She was strong and capable like him, but she was also completely insane, which forced him to take life a little less seriously. “Okay now you’ve succeeded in cheering me up, get on out. Lukas has to go pick up his date for the evening.”

Lukas laughed. “And if she’s lucky, for breakfast too.”

“Get out of here you animal!” he laughed as I shoved him out.

“Feel better, Lace,” he called out as he jogged down the stairs.

“Yeah thanks.” I accepted Blake’s hug, another thing to thank Poppy for, and locked up before stumbling to the sofa for a quick nap.

When I woke up the next day, I was still on the sofa. And sicker than ever.

A few days later I went back to work, low energy and slightly melancholy, ready to jump into something creative. I worked two twelve hours days until everything was caught up, figuring I’d put my sleepless nights to good use. So, of course the universe decided to reward me on the third day with a meeting to finalize the partnership with Titus media.

“Did you hear me, Lacey?” Lukas sounded annoyed as he stood in my office, practically growling at me.

“I’m not deaf.”

He gave a sharp nod. “Conference room B, thirty minutes.”

“I said I heard you.” He smiled and shrugged, a move he’d done since we were kids, meant to use his charm to get him out of trouble.

“And I thought you’d be a little more excited about this since you’re always complaining that no one ever takes you seriously.” And that’s what it always came down to, wasn’t it?

“You don’t need me there, since you didn’t need me to commit to the deal. I have some calls to make, but if I finish them in time, I’ll stop in.”

Lukas stared me down for a long time, doing that twin thing where he tells me what a fool he thinks I’m being and I use my eyes to tell him to ‘fuck off’. “Thirty minutes, twenty five now. Be there or I’ll send Blake for you.”

“Ass.”

“Just be there.”

I knew Lukas would make good on this threat to involve Blake, so I took the twenty-three minutes to ready myself for seeing Walker again. I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, the same way I remembered from the last yoga class I took. About two years ago. I just needed to appear unaffected, and not to react to anything that anyone in the room said. Lukas would try to rile me up just to make some ridiculous point, and Walker might do it out of cruelty. Or simply for revenge.

I slicked fuchsia lipstick across my lips and pinched my cheeks, fixed a cool semi-smile on my face and grabbed a tablet just to have something to distract me. Don’t react was my mantra as I headed up to the conference room, repeating it over and over in my head until I entered the room and laid eyes on Walker and Lukas.

“Morning.” It came out barely a squeak but it was the best I could do.

Lukas frowned, probably waiting for one of us to at least pretend things were normal. I didn’t have the energy for it, so we were silent. Painfully silent. “It’s like a fucking funeral in here,” Lukas grumbled. “Good morning, Lacey.”

“Morning,” I grunted again just to annoy him. I could feel Walker’s gaze on me while I distracted myself by powering up my tablet, and it took all the energy I had not to look at him. I didn’t care that he had dark purple crescents under his eyes or that it looked like he’d forgotten to comb his hair before he left the house. The truth was more likely he’d rushed to the meeting from some woman’s bed. Dick.

“Good morning, Lacey.” His voice slid over me like a caress, but I shook it off, reminding myself that I was a late bloomer before my gaze met his.

“Morning.”

“Sorry I’m late. Have we started,” Blake rushed in, unaware of the tension building in the room.

He knew damn well we hadn’t started, but I couldn’t even bring myself to be angry with him. I just wanted this to be over, and when they started talking about contract sections and subsections I pretended to listen while doodling on my tablet. They talked percentages and combined resources while I looked up thirty minute meals for one.

“Do you have anything to add, Lacey?” Blake’s frown was half annoyed and half concerned.

“Not a thing.” I wasn’t consulted on the deal, or any changes to the original proposal, so I had nothing to add. The room fell momentarily silent before they all started talking again, clarifying the tiniest points just to make sure one side didn’t get more than the other. Eventually, they were done and we could stop pretending I was an integral part of the company.

Blake flew from the room with Lukas hot on his trail, leaving me alone with Walker. I jumped up determined to get out before he decided he needed to say something else shitty to me.

“How have you been?” His words hit me just as I reached for the handle on the glass door. My shoulders fell.

I was so close. “Fine.”

“You look good.”

“What are you doing Walker? You made your feelings loud and clear so please just…stop. I don’t need you to check in with me, or make sure I’m all right.”

“I just want to fucking talk, Lacey. Can we do that?”

“No.” I crossed my arms and glared at him, trying to figure out what kind of game he was playing. “We’re not friends, Walker. You and Lukas are, and I have no plans to get in the middle of that. Take care of yourself,” I told him and rushed out before he could try to sway me, get me to see things his way.

I had to be strong if for no other reason than pride. Walker had done the one thing I didn’t think I could forgive, even though my stupid heart wanted to, he’d hit me where it hurt for the sole purpose of hurting me. When I stepped onto the elevator and closed my eyes, I forced myself to relive those hateful words, the green in his eyes charred and blackened with hate and disgust.

“You’ve always been a bit of a late bloomer haven’t you, Lacey?”

“I’m sorry.” Walker had slid in before the doors closed and he was now invading my space. That’s what I get for closing my eyes in public. His green eyes looked tired and sad, and I had to steel myself against the desire to reach out to him, to caress the stubble covering his jaw or wipe away the tension between his brows. “I was a jackass and I said shit to you that you didn’t deserve. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“That’s funny because it looks to me that was exactly your goal.” Dammit, I promised myself I wouldn’t engage.

“You’re right, I was just so fucked up in the head that day. No, not just that day. My head hasn’t been right since San Diego.”

Yeah, I noticed too but I figured we were at our expiration date to explain his sudden inattentiveness. After trying to reach out for a few days I took the hint and worked on forgetting Walker.

“What do you want me to say, Walker? I never asked you for more. All I did was enjoy our time together, but you’re so determined to make me pay for someone else’s sins that I don’t think you noticed.” It was time to be brave, to say what I had to directly to his face. “You don’t want me, fine. But you don’t get to be cruel to me, and you don’t get to pretend like we’re friends. You made it clear that we’re nothing. Loud and fucking clear.” The doors opened and I darted out, leaving Walker with the assistants who were going up to prep the conference rooms for the next round of meetings.

“Lacey!”

I picked up speed and made a few turns inside the cubicle farm to dodge Walker if he decided to follow me, though I couldn’t imagine why on earth he would. He’d been the one to burn us to the ground with his words. There was nothing to be gained by being kind to me now.