Jessica
“So that’s when I said—ooh, ice cream!”
“You said ‘ooh, ice cream’?” I repeat doubtfully, laughing as I push Gramps through the park and listen to his latest story of the drama that goes on at the care home.
I wouldn’t have thought there was much drama there, but apparently I’d have been very wrong. Old people, he claims, are even worse than teenagers for gossip.
“No, look, there’s an ice cream stand! Let’s get ice cream.” He points ahead of us, forgetting the rest of his story.
Pity. It just seemed to be getting good.
I shiver slightly, wrapping my coat a little tighter around me as the wind picks up.
“It’s October, Gramps, isn’t that a little late for ice cream? It’s not very warm.”
He grabs the wheels all of a sudden, spinning the chair out of my grasp, turning it decidedly toward the ice cream stand. I let it go without a fight, a slight smile on my face. Most of the time that we go out like this, he’s content to let me push the chair, but every so often he’ll obviously get frustrated about it and take over himself - even without there being ice cream at stake.
It’s easier just to let him until he’s satisfied again and willing to magnanimously offer it back to me. Personally, I think that’s almost certainly when he gets tired, but I’m not going to risk saying so.
“At my age, you take the ice cream when you get the chance. Who knows if I’m going to have the time to wait until it’s warm again, hmm?” He winks at me, rolling up to the ice cream stand while I’m left with an uneasy pang in my stomach.
It’s not like this is the first time to say something like that and usually it doesn’t bother me, but right now…
“Gramps…” I murmur, uncomfortable. I don’t want to have to think about his time or him not being around next Spring.
“You young ones today, there’s no hardiness in you. Can’t even take an ice cream in the cold.” He shakes his head, then his eyes light up as he sees the selection of different flavors in front of him. “Yes, I’ll have chocolate, please.”
I roll my eyes, giving into the bullying and getting an ice cream to join him.
“Over there, I think.” He says, pointing toward a bench by the small pond. “We can have them there.”
I take the hint and start pushing him again, ignoring the temptation to walk in that direction and leave him to fend for himself. With the ice cream to hold as well, that seems a little too mean.
I set him up to the side and sit down on the bench, taking a tentative taste.
Yep. Just what I thought. Cold.
Gramps seems to have no qualms about that, already seeming halfway through his.
Maybe he’s right, I think wryly, maybe older generations really are tougher.
“What’s wrong?” He finally asks, belatedly picking up on my mood as his eyes narrow in my direction. “Has work been tough?”
I shake my head, but don’t say anything else. It feels silly now to go back to his comment about not being here by the time it gets warm, or to give a voice to that needy part of me that’s scared of him leaving me too.
Gramps frowns, though, finishing his ice cream with a quick bite or two, while I’m still just trying to keep on top of stopping mine from dripping everywhere. You’d think they wouldn’t do that, without the heat, but they seem to anyway.
He scoots his chair a little closer to me, the concern obvious on his face.
“Are you sure, Jessie? That boss of yours isn’t getting worse, is he?”
I blink in surprise. I’d mentioned that I wasn’t sure how this would go when I first got promoted, but since then I’ve said nothing about Kenneth at all. There’s been nothing to say.
“No, no, he’s okay…” I shake my head, then run a hand through my hair. “It’s all going fine.”
Better than fine, actually, this last week.
Sure, having Abbie around wasn’t exactly typical, but it’s been the most fun I’ve had since I moved back to Springfield. I can’t say I got quite as much work done as usual, but Kenneth certainly didn’t seem to mind, and I think she enjoyed her time there. I hope she did. She seems like a very special little girl.
“Jessie?” Gramps asks again, and I realize I missed whatever he just said.
I shake off the weird mood and lean toward him, trying to get back to how I usually am around him - our easy banter and the usual way I confide in him.
“I don’t exactly know what I think of him yet.” I say with a small smile. “But I like his daughter.”
His eyebrows rise. “His daughter?”
“Yeah.” I say, shrugging. “He had some issues with his Nanny this week, so he brought her in to the office with him. It made the week a whole lot more fun - poor girl obviously needed some entertainment. She’s very sweet, though. Four years old.”
It’s been hard to get her out of my head, actually. Or both of them, if I’m honest about it.
Those moments I saw Kenneth with her…the way he seemed so different. How caring and sweet he was to her, even with everything else going on. It might be true what I said to Gramps - I still can’t work out what I think of him - but I can’t help feeling for him. For them both. It’s obvious how difficult it is raising her alone - and just how hard he’s trying.
I wonder what they’re up to today. How they’re spending the weekend together.
I can just imagine all the attention he’ll lavish on her now that the work week is over. How much fun they might be having. It’s a weird thought. Partly because just yesterday I was having some of that fun - and partly because thinking about Kenneth doing anything like that is…strange.
Abbie seems to have totally blown my detachment out of the water - and she’s changed things, too.
Kenneth isn’t just the guy who broke my heart when we were kids anymore. He’s also a father now.
As well as my boss.
It’s too many different things for my mind to wrap itself around, so I think I don’t even try.
He can just be an enigma. That’s fine.
“It’s a bit strange, isn’t it? Bringing his daughter to work?” Gramps brings me out of the reverie of my confused emotions and I look back at him, confused.
I thought he’d find it amusing, hearing that I got to play with a little girl at work this week, but the concern is still obviously there.
I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s probably not that uncommon for someone in that position - long hours, important meetings, and no one’s going to object to the CEO doing it, I guess.”
“But it’s a bit…personal…isn’t it? For you to be meeting his daughter?”
I frown. That’s something I might have been concerned about - should still be concerned about, really, except that I enjoyed it too much to keep thinking about it that way - but I don’t know why Gramps would mind.
“What are you talking about, Gramps?” I finally ask, definitely getting the feeling there’s something else going on here.
He hesitates, then finally comes out with it. “You know he’s been accused of harassment, this boss of yours? It was all over the papers this morning.”
Oh.
I wince. I saw the headline earlier, but I’ve been trying not to think about it too much.
“Yes.” I say slowly. “I know.”
“And?”
“And…nothing.” I shrug. “It’s an accusation. From what the paper says, he also denies it.”
And I really don’t want to be having this conversation.
“Well, of course he does.” Gramps says, obviously exasperated. “So you don’t know anything about it?”
“No.” I say firmly. “And I shouldn’t, either. It’s nothing to do with me.”
Which is exactly how I want things to stay.
I mean, sure, I knew there was some sort of lawsuit going on - I’ve been fielding enough calls from ExVenture’s lawyer and receiving enough documents about it to know - but I never knew the details. I didn’t know it was a sexual harassment thing. And I think I would’ve rather not known, too.
The idea of someone accusing Kenneth of that…
I shake my head.
I might have gone into the job thinking he was a dick, but I don’t believe he’d do anything like that. His reputation at ExVenture might not be the best, but that’s because he can be ruthless and demanding when it comes to the job. I can see that about him. But I’ve never heard anything about him trying to take advantage that way.
I just can’t see it. He’s not sleazy or creepy or…anything.
I mean, damn. The only thing he seems to think about outside of work is his daughter - and after seeing them together…yeah. I can’t believe it.
Not that I should even be thinking about it like that. I’m his secretary. My job is to make his easier, not to add my own opinions to what he’s doing or what the company might be dealing with. The last thing I want is to have anything to do with this - or be put in a position like this, where I’m commenting on it.
“And…he hasn’t done anything…inappropriate?” Gramps presses and I almost groan.
“No, really. It’s all been fine. And…I don’t think he’s like that, Gramps. Really. It’s just a stupid eye-catching headline, that’s all.”
That’s it. All I’m going to say. And only because this is Gramps and I can talk to him. Anything else - to anyone else - would feel like I was stepping way out of line.
“With a lawsuit behind it.” He points out, leaning back with a small groan. “I’m just saying, where there’s smoke, there’s usually a fire. I just want you to be careful, Jessica, okay?”
I nod slowly, even as something in my chest clenches tight. I know he’s only worried about me - he’s spent his whole life trying to look out for me - but I don’t like him thinking that way about Kenneth. Even if the whole thing makes me uneasy myself.
“I will.” I reach out to squeeze his hand. “I promise. But for the record, I think you’re doing him a disservice.”
“Well if I am, I’ll be glad to hear it.” He squeezes back and gives me the warm, sparkling smile I’ve known all my life, relaxing me a little.
I know he doesn’t mean anything by the comments he’s making about Kenneth - he doesn’t even know the guy. At least, not these days. And from how this conversation has gone, I’m guessing he hasn’t made the link back to the boy I used to date all those years ago - this little discussion would have been entirely different if he had. I’m more than a little glad I don’t have to worry about all that.
No, he’s not attacking Kenneth - he just wants you to be okay, Jessica. Same as always.
I don’t even know why I want to defend Kenneth. I don’t know anything about what happened and I don’t exactly have a reason to jump in and stick up for him. Except my gut saying he wouldn’t do that.
And since when was your gut right about Kenneth?
That thought makes me squirm a little. If I was wrong back then, who says I’m not wrong about him now?
I cut that thought off before it goes too far. This is why I shouldn’t be thinking about it - or involved at all. I can’t afford to have that sort of opinion about my boss.
We sit there in silence for a few minutes, but I can still feel his gaze on me, the quiet scrutiny that always sees too much. I’ve appreciated it more often than not throughout my life, but right now…when I feel so confused about so many things…I’m not sure I want to have to face it.
“So, if it’s not work…what is bothering you, Jessie?” He finally asks, not letting go of my hand. “You haven’t seemed yourself this week.”
“I don’t know…” I trail off mid-denial, knowing exactly what he means and not sure I can keep it back any longer. Not sure whether I want to. I’ve almost mentioned it so many times this week, stopping myself at the last moment every time, but…I know I need to say it. “I got a letter…from Mom.”
The strange mix of feelings I’ve had around Kenneth - and especially seeing Abbie - this week has been one thing, but as confusing as that is, it’s not enough to really bother me.
My Mom, on the other hand…I’m not sure I can handle that alone. Even if I don’t know how Gramps will take it.
He stiffens where he’s sitting and I can feel his tension through the hand I’m still holding. I watch a dozen things flash across his expression before he looks back at me carefully.
“Did you…open it?” He asks, quietly.
I shake my head. I haven’t worked out what I want to do at all. It’s just sitting there, on my dining table, staring at me. I tried hiding it away somewhere, so I didn’t have to think about it, but for some reason, that made it worse. At least if it’s out there, I can claim I’m dealing with it. Sort of.
“And what…are you thinking?” He squeezes my hand and the mixture of sadness and gentle compassion on his face is obvious.
It hurts me see it - I’ve never wanted anyone’s pity. I hate the idea that there might be a reason for it. But I latch onto it anyway, needing the warmth and support that’s always been there for me and not missing the way he immediately makes this about me, despite whatever emotions he’s now dealing with. She’s his daughter as much as she is my Mom.
As far as I know, this is the first contact either of us have had for the last seven years.
“I don’t know.” I finally say. “I can’t work it out.”
“You don’t have to open it, Jessie. You don’t owe her anything.”
“I know. I know that. But…”
But she’s still my Mom. But it’s hard not knowing what’s in there, even if it could just be another thing to hurt me.
Even after all this time, I still don’t know that I’ve given up on her completely.
He squeezes my hand again and doesn’t say anything, giving me time to deal with my thoughts.
“I don’t know.” I let out a long sigh. “I’m not…I don’t think I’m angry anymore, not really. I don’t…I didn’t think I cared, these days, before it arrived. But now…”
I’m scared I still might.
“You remember the last time…the way we left it, with her?” I ask softly.
The last letter I’d had from my Mom had been just after my twenty-first birthday. She’d sent them every year - birthdays and Christmas - until I was eighteen. Occasionally she forgot, but they usually turned up eventually. After that, it had been more sporadic, but I was still expecting - hoping - for something on my twenty-first. The day I became an adult.
As stupid as it was, part of me hoped she might even turn up.
Yeah, even after all those years of disappointment, I’d never learned better. I think I thought it would be different, now that I was an adult. She wouldn’t have to deal with raising me, after all. Despite all the resentment I hadn’t quite dealt with, part of me fantasized about having some kind of relationship with her. Now that we were both fully adults.
So when nothing came at all, it was like a punch to the gut.
And when that letter turned up a week later…all that hope flared to life in me again. I almost instantly forgave her for being late - I never thought she was a particularly organized person, and it didn’t matter so much. Not compared to what I was hoping for.
Instead…I got an upbeat ‘update on her life’ kind of letter, the sort she’d sent every so often, where she talks about all the things she’s doing and doesn’t seem to notice that it’s all without me. Her daughter. This time, it was all about the amazing man she’d just met and how they were leaving for a road trip across America. She didn’t know where they were going, when they’d be back, or how often she’d be able to write to me - but she wanted to tell me everything about the grand adventure she was about to embark on.
No mention of my birthday. Nothing about coming home, or seeing me, despite her apparent willingness to give up her job and go just about anywhere else.
It was all about her. As always.
After that - after I’d spent the next few days in bed, crying my heart out - Gramps finally had enough.
I don’t know exactly what he did or said, or how the conversation went - but he told me she wouldn’t contact me again, not unless she was ready to do whatever it took to earn the right to be part of my life.
I knew the moment he said that, I’d never hear from her again. And the only thing I felt at that was relief.
It’s what I wanted. I just wanted an end to it. To write her out of my life for good.
To finally give up on her.
And it worked.
All of the heartache about what she sent, or said, or did or didn’t do…all of that disappeared.
I didn’t have to think about her anymore.
And now…she’s back.
“Yes, I remember.”
I look up at the slight inflection in his voice, wondering what he does remember of that time - what it was like, for him. I’ve never asked before. I don’t know whether I really want to know. I know how much it hurt him, everything she did and how it affected me.
I bite my lip.
“Gramps…you told her not to write again, not unless…”
Unless she wanted to be part of my life. Really wanted that.
He nods. “That’s what I said to her.”
I can hear the dubiousness in his voice, though, the same skepticism I feel.
I let out an exaggerated breath, and finally say what I’ve been thinking this whole time.
“So either that’s what this letter is about…or she’s totally forgotten the whole thing.”
There’s more bitterness than I’d like in my voice, but Gramps doesn’t flinch away from it. He’s always understood - always been there to support me - and it meant more than I can ever say that it’s always felt like he’s on my side. Stupid and immature, maybe, but that’s what I was for a long time. Maybe I still am, even.
He sighs. “That’s what I was thinking.”
“If she does want…I don’t know if I can throw that away, Gramps, whether I’d really be willing to cut her out forever. But…”
But the kid inside me doesn’t know if she can deal with the pain of this being something else.
He wheels himself a little closer, so our knees are almost butting against each other and the closeness makes me shiver suddenly, as if I’ve just realized how cold it is sitting here in the chill breeze.
He notices it and, in a maneuver I didn’t think he’d be able to manage, pushes himself out of the wheelchair and onto the bench beside me. The next thing I know, he’s got an arm around my shoulders and - to my total horror and frustration - a few tears escape from the corner of my eyes.
Damn it. You’re done crying over her. You promised yourself that years ago.
I’m not sure whether it’s her, though, or Gramps’ steadfast love beside me. I lean my head down onto his shoulder and sigh, letting him gather me up and take the weight off my heavy heart the same way he used to when I was a kid.
“It’s your choice, Jessie. I’ll be here whatever you decide - and however long you want to take to decide.” He takes my hand again, squeezing it tightly. “And if you want me to be there…”
I swallow hard.
“I don’t know.” I repeat, my voice sounding hoarse. “I just don’t know.”
“That’s okay. You’ve got all the time in the world.”
But it doesn’t feel like I have all the time in the world. Even as he smiles at me, I can see the creases that weren’t there a year ago - his cheekbones more prominent than they were - the thinning of his wild gray hair. The frailty of his hands in mine.
I don’t know whether I can do this without him.
I’m scared of being alone.
I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud until he responds.
“You’ll never be alone, Jessie. I’ll always be here for you. Just like Grandma is.”
That’s all it takes for me to break down completely and I find myself sobbing in his arms in a way I haven’t done in years. His arms pull tighter around me and I cling to him, feeling heartbroken and not even sure why.
“That’s okay. Let it out, girl, I’m here.”
I do just that. I’m not sure what I’m letting out, the emotions that pour through me feeling like they’re about more than just my Mom and Grandma and my fear of Gramps leaving me, but I do it anyway. I take that invitation, the gratitude and relief I feel bittersweet as I wonder how I’m ever going to cope if something happened to him.
It’s been a long time since I ended up crying on a park bench, oblivious to anyone else around us, but the moment it all starts to subside, I remember just how embarrassing I find it, sniffling and wiping at my eyes and nose.
“Here.”
Gramps hands me a handkerchief, and it makes me laugh in between the tears.
He always did have one of those. Always claimed it was something every man should carry around - just in case he came across a woman in distress. I can’t count the number of times I’ve taken one from him, over the years.
I clean myself up gratefully, the last remaining sobs slowly coming back under control as I do, something inside me starting to stabilize again after the storm of emotion that blew through.
“All better?”
I nod, even though both of us know it’s not actually all better - it’s just a bit better for now. That’s just how life works.
He gives me a gentle smile, squeezing my shoulder.
“I’d offer you an ice cream, but given your earlier reaction, I’m not sure it’s going to work as well as it did when you were eight.”
I laugh again, hiccuping a little and appreciating the way he can always make me laugh.
“Maybe you could just tell me some more stories from the care home for a while?”
He nods, the sparkle back in his eye - if I ignore some of the concern underneath - and starts up easily as I help him back into the wheelchair. I stand up and start pushing him along the path again, continuing our walk and immediately feeling less on display than when I was sobbing on the bench. My cheeks are still red and my eyes feel puffy, but as Gramps makes me laugh a few more times, I start to feel more normal again.
And I’m glad I told him.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but not telling him was eating at me too much.
The rest of our day together passes a lot more easily and by the end of it I start feeling more like myself again - like I’ll be able to deal with things, even if I don’t know how yet.
As the sun starts to set on us, seated inside a cafe overlooking Lake Springfield, he turns to me with a frown, as if only just realizing.
“You didn’t say we’d be out all day, Jessica.”
It’s almost an accusation and I raise an eyebrow. “I didn’t say we wouldn’t be. Why, worried about missing out on the chance to chase Janet around some more?”
“You spent all of last weekend with me, too.”
“I love you.” I say, smiling easily as I reach over and squeeze his hand. “I came back to spend time with you.”
“Not this much of it.” He scowls. “You can’t be spending all your free time with me, Jessie. You need other people around you here, too, even if you will be moving back to St. Louis soon.”
I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes at the comment about St. Louis. He always has to slip it in somewhere, every time I see him.
“I’ve only just moved back, Gramps - I have other people, but it just takes a bit of time to reconnect, you know?” I reassure him. “I’m going out with a couple of them for drinks tonight, actually.”
“Ohh?” He raises an eyebrow. “You didn’t say! Well then, you’d better drop me home, you don’t want to be late for your friends.”
I laugh. “I’ve got plenty of—”
“No, no. Come now. They’re supposed to be showing The Bucket List tonight - and I don’t want to miss that!”
I object a few more times, but I know when I’m not going to win - which seems to be most of the time, with Gramps. Half-laughing and half-reluctant, I do as he says, settling the bill and taking him back to the care home. My heart does a funny little twist as he waves goodbye and then wheels himself inside without a second thought, and I have a brief flashback to all the emotion of earlier - and the way he comforted me, as he always does.
I leave with a small sigh, part of me thinking that I’d almost rather stay and watch The Bucket List with him than get dressed up and go out to a bar with people I haven’t seen for years. Which, of course, he knows.
And he’s right too - I do need to have friends here. Whatever he may think, as far as I’m concerned, I’m back for good - and I need to build a life here.
So I make myself walk out of the care home and back to the car.
At least it should be a good distraction.
A few drinks should give me the chance to forget about everything that’s going on at the moment - something I never quite get around Gramps, not with how perceptive he is.
* * *
Unfortunately, that’s not how it works out at all.
“I can’t believe how long it’s been, Jessie!” Kerry grins, standing up to give me a hug.
I hug them both before sitting down, surprised how enthusiastic they are to see me again - and immediately warmed by it. We were great friends in school and did try to keep in contact after I moved, but the last few years it’s seemed to fade away a bit. I came back to visit Gramps often enough, but life seemed to get busy for all of us, and arranging a time to meet up just became harder.
“I’m so glad you’ve moved back here, babe.” Ange adds, pushing a mojito over toward me.
I raise it with a smile, feeling far more at ease than I was expecting.
“Yeah, I’m glad to be back.”
We clink and spend the first drink catching up. I tell them about Gramps and the move back home and they’re genuinely sympathetic, before letting me know how they and their families have been in turn.
Kerry has a little boy now, a two year old, which is the most shocking revelation - and Ange has just got a promotion at the department store she works at. So we celebrate my return, her new job and Kerry finally finding time to slip away from her kid for a night, and I’m surprised how much I start enjoying it all.
I’ve been missing my friends from St. Louis and the work colleagues I have there, but somehow I’d forgotten that I’ve known the people down here practically all my life - so reaching out to Kerry and Ange really wasn’t that difficult, and it’s not hard for us to slip back into our usual comfortable conversation.
At least, until we start reflecting on the past - and in particular, our old high school. That always used to be a fun conversation - gossiping about our former classmates and where they might have ended up now, what we might have seen or heard.
This time, though…not so much.
Somehow both Kerry and Ange also saw the front page of the Springfield News-Leader this morning - and it’s obvious there’s one classmate in particular they want to talk about.
“Hey, you must have heard about Kenneth - even all the way in St. Louis - right, Jessie?” Ange asks eagerly.
“Yeah, he really did well for himself. I’m pretty sure a multi-billion dollar start up makes the headlines throughout the whole state.” Kerry adds, grinning at me.
“He’s probably the biggest success story to come out of Parkview High School - I reckon they’re still talking about him now. D’you think he goes back, gives talks and things like that?”
“Nah.” Kerry wrinkles her nose. “I mean, if they wanted you to go back and do that, would you?”
“Mm, fair point. Maybe not. Unless I wanted to flaunt all my great achievements—ooh, do you think Mrs Patmoor is still there? God, I’d love to walk in there as a billionaire and see what she says now about how I’ll never amount to anything. Think she remembers that? Yeah, I’d do it then.”
Kerry laughs. “I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t remember saying anything of the sort, if you’d actually amounted to anything.”
“Hey! I’m a store manager now, that’s something, I’ll tell you.” She grins suddenly. “Hey, maybe they’d want me to go back after all, with this new promotion. I could tell all the kids that it doesn’t matter what they say, you can still make something of yourself - that’s a good story. You don’t have to be a billionaire to be impressive, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t think they’d invite you to go say that.”
“Pity.” She sighs, still laughing, then obviously notices my silence and glances over. “You do remember Kenneth, right?”
“’Course she does.” Kerry interrupts, nudging me. “Jessica here even had that thing with him for a while, didn’t you, babe?”
“Oohh yeah!”
I try not to wince. It was years ago. Of course they remember it as ‘that thing’ instead of the total heartbreak it ended in. I’m sure that’s all they think of their own immature, high school heartbreaks too.
That’s all your think of it too, Jessica, remember? It’s not like yours was any different - or that you’re any less over high school than they are.
“Damn, should’ve hung onto that one, clearly.” Ange grins at me, then glances over at Kerry with a sigh. “We all should have. Think he’d find it weird if we get back in touch now? Suspect that it’s just because he’s rich and famous and all that?”
“It would be just because of that.” Kerry points out with a laugh, taking another sip of the nearly-empty mojito.
As the drinks have emptied, her voice has slowly gotten louder - and it’s obvious where these light-hearted, merry comments are coming from. Usually, I’d be laughing along with them, but the last thing I want to talk about tonight is Kenneth. I’ve still got Gramps’ words in my ears - and I was hoping for a distraction from all that.
“Yeah, but would he know?” Ange presses and Kerry nudges her.
“’Course. You don’t get to where he is without working shit like that out.”
“Yeah…guess so.” She sighs dramatically, then looks over at me. “Don’t suppose you kept in touch with him?”
“Hey, don’t you work there now?” Kerry adds, eyes alighting on me suddenly. “Didn’t you say you got a job at ExVenture - that’s his company, you know!”
Yes, I know.
The knot in my stomach seems to get heavier, twisting inside me as I try to shrug the comment off.
“Yeah, but…”
“Oh my god!” Ange says, nudging me from the other side, and I can tell that the cocktails are starting to affect her by the slight glint in her eyes.
That wouldn’t usually be a problem, of course - they’d started to affect me, too, before this talk of Kenneth sobered me up like a splash of cold water - but right now, I can’t help wishing they weren’t being quite so loud…or persistent.
Can’t we just talk about something else? Please?
“Well?” Kerry asks, giving me a sly smile. “Have you seen him?”
“It’s a big office, Kerry.” I shrug again. “I’m just a secretary there.”
Both of those things are true, and neither one actually answers the question. I don’t want to lie to them - they’re my friends - but I can’t bring myself to admit that I work directly for him, not with the way they’re talking at the moment.
Ange lets out another big sigh, as neither of them pick up on that. “Typical. Our one chance…”
“Why are you both so hung up on him, anyway?” I finally say something. “High school was forever ago.”
“Oh, we know.” Kerry says, her smile gentling a little. “But don’t you find it cool, too? Even if it was that long ago, we sort-of-know a billionaire. Back then, I don’t think anyone would’ve guessed it would work out that way - and now, well…it’s almost like he’s our billionaire. Gotta keep tabs on the one claim to fame we’re ever gonna have, girl.”
She winks at me - and even though I don’t agree with any of that, I can’t help softening a little bit.
“I guess…” I say slowly, then try to change the subject. “Still, it’s a little defeatist, don’t you think? Who says we’re not going to be rich and famous one day ourselves?”
Kerry laughs. “If that was going to happen, I think it would’ve by now, Jess. Besides, when am I going to get time to do anything impressive with little Adam screaming the house down night and day?”
Unbidden, an image of Abbie floats into my mind again - and the way Kenneth somehow manages to run his company anyway. I shake it off. Even I’m not going to claim that would be simple.
Instead, I squeeze her shoulder. “Believe me, Kerry - right now, I can’t imagine anything more impressive than raising a one-year-old kid.”
She beams at me and something inside me loosens a little, feeling warm at how pleased she obviously is - and slightly relieved that we might finally be able to move onto talking about her little boy, instead of the boss I can’t work out.
Until Ange interrupts us.
“Talking of keeping tabs on him.” She says, as if she hasn’t heard anything we’ve said since that. “Did you guys see the paper this morning?”
This time, I almost do groan out loud. One conversation about that is pretty much all I can take - and I’ve already had it.
“Fuck, yes!” Kerry’s attention snaps back over to her. “I couldn’t believe it—he’s been accused of sexual harassment, Jessica.”
She adds, filling me in as if I didn’t already know.
“Do you think it’s true?” Ange asks, chewing her lip.
“I don’t know. I mean—why would he? It just seems stupid. With a company—and he has a kid now, Jess, did you know that?”
“Guys can be idiots.” Ange offers, by way of explanation. “Though I don’t know why he’d need to. I mean, god, have you seen the guy recently?”
Kerry shakes her head.
“There was a full-length photo in…oh, god, I forget, but anyway—he is seriously smokin’ these days. Total babe. I mean, I know you’re happily married and all, but I’m not sure I’d mind if he wanted to sexually harass me a little.” She winks, giggling, and my nose wrinkles at the comment.
Was she always this…crude?
Kerry catches it too, though, however happy-drunk she might be right now.
“Ange.” She says, her tone disapproving. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay, but you get my point, right?”
Kerry rolls her eyes and I just sigh.
“What do you think?” Kerry asks, turning to me. “Got any inside gossip? Is this thing real?”
I shake my head immediately. “The paper was printed today, remember? No one has heard anything about it at ExVenture. Came out of nowhere.”
That’s definitely true, and there’s no way I’m saying anything else.
“That means it’s false, right?” Ange says, looking at Kerry hopefully. “If no one heard anything about it, it probably didn’t happen.”
“Who knows?” Kerry shrugs, then frowns. “I hope not. I kind of admired the guy, what he’s made of himself, but if that’s what he’s like…”
“Yeah. Why do all the rich, hot guys turn out to be assholes?” Ange sympathizes immediately.
Kerry laughs. “Because that’s the only thing stopping you hooking up with one, right?”
Ange grins back and they finally - finally - move onto talking about Ange’s love life.
I don’t try to correct any of their thoughts or assumptions about Kenneth. For one thing, they don’t know that I’m working closely enough with him to have an opinion, and I’d rather keep it that way. For another, I don’t even know if I have an opinion. At least, not one I can back up with anything real.
I might not have been able to hold my tongue with Gramps, but that was different. I don’t know why I cared what he thought about Kenneth so much, but for some reason I did. With Ange and Kerry, it’s obviously just idle speculation - and the worst thing I could do would be to continue talking about it.
The conversation moves on, but I’m quiet for the rest of the evening, not quite able to recapture my initial buzz at seeing them after being away for the last few years.
It’s still a nice evening, but I can’t deny my mind is stuck on Kenneth again - and this time, I can’t shake it.
It seems like whatever I do, everything comes back to him. I guess maybe that’s what happens when you’re working for a local celebrity, but still…damn it.
So much for a pleasant evening to distract me.