Upstairs, I close the bathroom door and lock it before exhaling a long breath. Once I’ve gathered myself, I fill the tub. After what just happened, I don’t trust Jay not to waltz right in while I’m bathing. I’m still annoyed at him for being secretive, but I’m also regretting putting a stop to whatever it was we were doing. These days it feels like I need his touch like I need air to breathe, and it’s so seldom that I actually get it.

I strip off once the tub’s full and step in, the warm water soothing my nerves. It’s like every single one of my muscles is wound up tight.

I stay there for a long while, my eyes closed, trying to forget about Jay’s hands on me. It was so unexpected, and I can still feel him touching me, how it made me ache, made me instantly wet. It’s been so long since I’ve been with a man, and even then he wasn’t really a man, just a boy. My ex-boyfriend (and only boyfriend) was the same age I was. Neither of us really had a clue what we were doing half the time.

I can’t imagine it being like that with Jay. Granted, he’s only four years older, but he seems so much more…experienced than I am. I feel like he could teach me things I couldn’t even fathom. I see him in my head, out in the garden doing pushups on the grass, his muscles moving, flexing, sweat dripping off him.

It’s times like these that I wish I owned a vibrator. Christ, I feel like I didn’t even own a libido until Jay came into my life. Now my mind is just a churning bucket of frustration and sexual thoughts.

I remember the night he’d offered to go down on me. He probably puts just as much dedication into the act as he does everything else. My skin tingles just thinking about it, my nipples hardening in the water. My hand rests innocently on my belly, but as my erotic thoughts take over, I start to stroke my skin, breath whooshing out of me as I imagine Jay’s hand doing it.

My thighs fall apart as my fingers move lower, dancing whisper soft over my sensitive flesh, my clit throbbing to be touched. A second later I jump in fright when someone knocks on the door.

“Darlin’, can we talk?” comes Jay’s deep voice. I have to bite my lip not to moan at the sound of it. Feeling daring, I seek out my clit, rubbing it slowly. I mean, the door is locked. He’ll never know. A little thrill goes through me.

Finally, I answer quietly, “This isn’t a good time.”

I hear his body slide down the door, his bottom hitting the floor as he sits. “I’ll stay out here. I don’t like fighting with you, Watson. We’re supposed to be besties, remember?”

“I’m — I’m taking a bath, Jay. We can talk later,” I manage, trying to sound normal, but my breathing is far too laboured. I shouldn’t be touching myself with him right behind the door, but I can’t seem to help it. Reaching up, I mould my breast in my hand and pinch my nipple, sending tremors all throughout my body.

I realise that Jay’s been quiet for far too long. I didn’t make any noises, did I? No, I know I didn’t. I’m not that reckless.

“How’s your bath going?” he asks. His voice sounds different now, lower.

“I said we’ll talk later. Can you go?” I croak, unable to help sliding my fingers inside myself, my walls clenching tight around them.

There’s a smile in his voice when he goes on, “What are you doing in there, baby?”

“Nothing,” I answer, a little too quickly.

“Okay, you keep on doing nothing. I’ll just sit here while you’re at it. This spot is surprisingly comfortable.”

Bastard. I want to tell him to leave again, but I know he’s not going to. I’m on the cusp of coming, that crazy place where you’re too full of pleasure to stop. You want the release so badly that for those few insane moments you don’t care if somebody’s listening. If they know exactly what you’re doing. Embarrassment is a land far, far away.

I pinch my nipple again as I rub at my clit fast now, my foot braced against the end of the tub. I’m so close to coming, but it’s Jay’s voice that sends me over the edge.

“You making yourself feel good?” he asks, his voice a quiet, rumbling caress.

A tiny moan escapes me before I can stifle it, and I come on my hand, my entire body pulsating with the pleasure.

“Yes,” I answer softly, coming down from the high.

My heart jolts when the doorknob turns. I remember that I locked it, though, and I breathe evenly.

“What are you doing?” I demand.

“I want to come in,” he murmurs, still behind the closed door.

“I’m in the bath. Naked!”

“Exactly,” he answers. I can tell the exact smug expression he’s got on his face right now, even though I can’t see him. There’s a curious scratching sound at the lock, and I wonder what he’s up to. When the knob turns again and the door starts to open, I dive out of the tub, slamming my body against the door to keep it shut.

Keeping my body against the door, I reach over and grab a towel to cover myself.

“Did you just pick the fucking lock?” I gasp, wrapping the towel around my body.

“Another of my many talents,” Jay replies.

“You’re overstepping the line.”

His tone is dark — reprimanding, almost. “Oh, so now there’s a line. You just let me listen to you masturbate, darlin’.”

Okay, so when he puts it like that, it’s kind of hard to argue with him. Still, my immediate response is to deny everything. “I don’t know what on earth you’re talking about, but you need to get away from the door and leave me alone.”

I open it just a sliver and peek my head out to show him I mean business. Unfortunately, when his eyes lock on mine, I melt. He sucks in a breath when he sees me, his hand reaching through the crack to touch my chin. Then his thumb moves up and brushes my bottom lip.

“Fuck, look at you,” he growls.

I’m so caught up in the way he’s staring at me, like he could devour me whole, that I forget to keep my hold on the door. He pushes it open easily and pounces on me, lifting me up into his arms, my legs straddling his waist, and carrying me into my bedroom. He settles me down on the mattress, moving to brace himself above me.

“Such a temptation,” he whispers, like he’s reprimanding himself. “How the fuck do I resist this?”

I’m not anticipating it when his mouth descends on mine, taking my lips in a hard, frenzied kiss that I feel all the way to my toes. My skin grows hot and feverish. I moan into his mouth as his tongue plunders inside, tangling with mine, sliding in and out. My legs fall apart, and he pushes into me, his erection grinding hard into my sex. I feel empty, aching to have him inside me.

He hums as he kisses me, possesses me with his mouth. The sound vibrates low in my belly. When he breaks the kiss a moment later and pulls back, he looks down and swears profusely. I follow his gaze to see my towel’s fallen open and I’m 100-percent, no-holds-barred naked.

His mouth goes to my neck, licking and sucking, sending shivers down my back that culminate at the base of my spine. I could come again just from that.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs into my skin, and my heart stops. No one’s ever called me beautiful before. I’ve had pretty (from Dad), but not beautiful. Hell, I’ve never really felt beautiful until this moment, with his mouth on me, making my every pore come alive. One hand teases my nipple, the other moulding my hip.

“Hold onto the bed frame,” he says past a groan.

“W-what?” I ask, hardly able to form the word, I’m so lost to him.

He clears his throat, his eyes blazing into mine. Instead of elaborating, he takes both my wrists into his hands, raising my arms and wrapping my fingers around the wooden bars at the top of my bed.

Oh. Now I get it.

“Hold on tight,” he tells me, his gaze dark as he starts to plant kisses all the way down my body. “If you touch me, I can’t promise I won’t fuck you.”

Pleasurable shivers run down my spine. He shouldn’t have said that, because now I want to touch him. See what will happen.

I know I’m being reckless. I know he’s keeping secrets from me, but the fact is, in this moment I can’t bring myself to care. His touch makes my brain go on holiday, a long, long holiday in a faraway country. And I want him more than I want to know what he’s hiding.

He’s at my lower belly now, and I have a feeling I know where he’s headed, my anxiety ratcheting up and making me tense. I’ve never had this before, don’t know what to expect. Will I even like it?

When he reaches my mound he stops, nuzzling me with his nose and breathing in deeply. He holds himself up on his elbows, his eyes shining as he looks his fill.

“Relax,” he says tenderly, rubbing at my belly.

“I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t be. You’re going to like this. In fact, you’re probably going to love it.” He gives me a devilish grin and then dips his head, his lips meeting my quivering sex with fervour. I cry out at the contact. Then he starts to lap at me with his tongue. It’s all wet and soft and absolutely heavenly; my entire body feels like it’s melting.

“J-Jason,” I say, my voice more air than sound.

He groans as he sucks my clit into his mouth. He looks so into it, like he’s enjoying this even more than I am, and that’s a massive turn-on. I want to let go of the bed and latch onto his shoulders, but he sees me move and gives me a heated look that says no. Starting at my clit, he licks a line to my entrance, his tongue slipping inside, flirting with the possibility. At this point I’ll take any part of him that he wants to put inside me. The absence of him makes me crazy, and I haven’t even had him yet to know what I’m missing.

He tongues me like that, penetrating me, like he’s actually fucking me, and I let the floodgates open, moaning with abandon. I’ve always been self-conscious about making noises during sex, but with Jay there’s no hope of holding back. He makes me lose my mind to the point that I barely recognise the needy, sex-crazed person I’ve become.

I can’t tell how much time has passed when he moves back to my clit, flicking his tongue in rapid movements that I didn’t even know were possible. God, I never want this to end. He’s looking up at me like I’m the sexiest thing he’s ever seen, and I need it to be real. I need this be about more than just sex to him. More than just an itch he wants to scratch.

“You look so fucking sexy right now. Come on my mouth,” he rasps, his hands going quickly to my hips and lifting. It takes me by surprise when he kneels up on the bed, my body at an angle with the mattress as he holds me up, his mouth still going to work on my clit. The angle makes it better, more intense. I never would have thought to do this.

His big hands splay out over my hips and lower belly, hot like fire on my skin.

“Look at me,” he demands, coming up for air.

Our eyes meet, lock. A coil tightens deep inside me, becoming more and more intense. He takes my clit between his teeth lightly then, and it shocks me how good it feels. I yelp and moan at once. Then I’m coming, long and hard, while he keeps on sucking, dragging out each tremor for all it’s worth.

I whimper as the pleasure subsides, and he wraps me up in his arms. His face rests in the crook of my neck, nuzzling behind my ear.

“Wow,” I breathe, finally finding enough strength to form words.

Jay’s quiet, affectionate laughter makes my belly flutter. “Now do you get what all the fuss is about?” he asks, his voice a soft caress.

“Mm-hmm.”

He moves his nose against my earlobe. “Good.”

We stay like that for a long time, a bizarre place where I’m naked in Jay’s arms with the freedom to enjoy the feel of his warm, bare chest pressed against me. I adore the heat of his skin, love the look in his eyes as he ate me out.

Time passes slowly, like caramel dripping luxuriously off a silver spoon. Unfortunately, the moment is broken too soon by three loud knocks on the front door. I’d almost fallen off to sleep when the noise jolts me awake. I look at the clock, remembering Michelle had said she’d drop over today.

Jay’s arms reflexively tighten around me when I try to move.

“Ignore it,” he says, eyes closed, voice sleepy.

“I have to answer it. It’s Michelle. She knows I’m here. I told her I would be.”

“Fuck.”

I smile at how annoyed he is by the prospect of breaking the little moment we’re sharing. “You need to go shower anyway. You’re still all sweaty from your workout.”

His eyes heat up as he moves to lean over me. “You love it.”

All I can manage in response is a shy smile.

Placing a soft, sweet kiss to my lips, he rolls off me and stands up. “A shower it is, then,” he says before leaving the room. I quickly grab some yoga pants and a T-shirt, throwing them on and hurrying downstairs to answer the door for Michelle. She’s ringing the bell now, getting impatient. My hair is still wet when I open the door.

“Sorry, I was in the bath,” I say as she comes inside.

She gives me a look and laughs. “Bit of a weird hour for a bath, but each to their own. Let’s go sit out on your patio. It’s a lovely day.”

I make us a selection of sandwiches and fill a jug with orange juice, bringing them all out to the deck furniture in the garden where Michelle is currently lounging. She’s wearing a yellow halter top that showcases her small but pert boobs, probably hoping to get a bit of a tan. The warm sun hits my feet, and I realise I’ve been going around barefoot, frazzled as I am by the day’s strange turn of events.

“So, any news?” Michelle asks, picking up a sandwich and taking a dainty bite.

Oh, I have news, all right. I’m not sure I want to broach the subject right now, though, not with Jay just upstairs anyway.

“Not really. You?”

She shrugs. “It was a slow week at work. Ooh, but I did see Michael Fassbender go by when I was leaving the office yesterday, so that brightened things up a little.”

“Really? Who was he with?” I ask curiously. Michelle has the uncanny luck of randomly seeing famous people in her everyday life. It’s weird. One time she was in the same queue as Gabriel Byrne in the supermarket.

“Just some old guy. At least, I think it was Michael Fassbender. It could have easily been a lookalike.”

At this Jay steps out into the garden, his hair damp and his clothes changed. Michelle eyes him as he pulls up a chair and sits. “You read my mind, Watson. I’m starving,” he says, grabbing a sandwich and eating it in one huge, hungry bite. I stare at his mouth, all too aware of where it’s just been. The heated look he gives me in return tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking.

“Oh, yeah, help yourself,” I say sarcastically. I don’t really know what way to be around him now.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he replies, giving me a loaded stare.

When I glance at Michelle, I see her looking between the two of us, a smile tugging at her lips.

“So, you both just had baths at, hmmm” — she glances down at her watch — “two o’clock in the afternoon.”

I pretend not to get what she’s getting at, frowning. “What? I had a bath. Jay had a shower. He has his own en-suite. And why are you so concerned about our personal hygiene habits?”

Jay’s smirking, but he’s not looking at me, focusing mainly on seriously depleting our sandwich situation. I know why he’s smirking, too. I just got a little overly defensive at Michelle’s statement.

“O-kay,” says Michelle, taking a sip of her juice. “I was only making an observation.” She pauses and dusts some crumbs from her lap, then asks randomly, “So, is Jessie coming over today?”

Now it’s my turn to get curious. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something in her tone that’s different. Like she’s trying too hard to sound casual. I look to Jay.

“Is she?”

He shakes his head, his hand moving sneakily to rest on my thigh under the table. I gasp in a tiny breath but try not to make a big deal of it, not wanting Michelle to notice. “Not that I know of, darlin’.”

His voice is slicker than usual, lazier. Is this what he sounds like after making women come? He seems so…satisfied.

“Oh, well, that’s a shame. She was so much fun last week after your show,” says Michelle.

Jay raises an eyebrow, looking at Michelle in an intense way for a second. “That’s interesting.”

“What?” she asks, sitting up straighter.

Oh, no, is he reading her?

“Your pupils dilated when you were talking about Jessie,” Jay explains casually. “Do you know what that means?”

“My pupils weren’t dilated,” says Michelle in a rare moment of self-consciousness. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this before. She scratches at her neck.

“They were. They got fucking huge, honey.” He leans in on his elbow. “It means you were aroused. You like Jessie, don’t ya?”

I nudge him in the side. “Leave her alone, Jay.”

“We’re having a friendly conversation, Matilda,” he replies, moving his hand up my thigh and squeezing hard. I clench my fist to keep from physically removing it.

“You two are being weird,” Michelle observes, picking up another sandwich. “What’s going on?”

Her questioning makes me mildly defensive. “We’re being weird?” I reply, laughing. “You’re the one whose pupils got dilated at the mention of a girl. I thought you left your experimental days behind you when you finished college.”

She sighs and slumps back in her seat. “Whatever. I like to think there’ll always be a part of me that’s fond of the ladies. Like ten percent of my vagina is into clam while the other ninety percent likes a good sausage.”

I practically choke on my laughter. Trust Michelle to always know how to put me in my place. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Jessie got you back to her place last week, didn’t she?” Jay surmises.

Michelle gives him a demure look. “She might have.”

“What!?” I interrupt in a fake voice of insult. “Something happened between you two and you didn’t tell me? This is an outrage!”

“Oh, calm down, Jemima. Not much happened. We had a little…fumble. That’s all. I enjoyed it, though. Wouldn’t mind a round two.”

“Jessie likes to turn the straight ones,” says Jay to me. “It’s her thing.”

“Well, she can turn me for a night any time,” says Michelle, licking her lips.

“Just don’t go leading her on,” I say, frowning now. Jessie might have a thing for turning straight girls, but Michelle has a thing for playing with the mice she catches before she eats them alive.

“Pffft.” Michelle waves away my concerns. “I couldn’t lead that woman on even if I tried. She’s a total stud. Probably has a new girl every night.”

“You’re not too far off,” says Jay, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Speaking of which, here she is now.” He answers the phone and steps away to talk.

“Don’t tell her I was talking about her,” Michelle whisper-shouts at him.

He gives her a wry nod and starts talking seriously on the phone. I wonder what that’s all about. Before I have the chance to ponder it further, Michelle grabs my wrist and practically yanks me across the table.

“Okay, I want to know everything that’s going on with you and Mr Magic Hands, and I want every last detail.”