Somehow, in talking to Bryan about the kids’ hockey camp and meeting a couple of the guys in the hallway who were on their way to help coach, Kevin got separated from Matty after they were done talking to the kids.

He did spot Matty hesitating by the locker room door for a minute, but he couldn’t extricate himself from the conversation about practice schedules without being rude. And then Matty got shy, or nervous, or something, and ducked out before Kevin could catch him.

It was on his mind for a little while on the way home, and he kept fidgeting with his phone. Should he call him up? Hang out tonight, now that their big commitment was done? But they were each about to head home again, taking advantage of these last few intermittent weeks before the 24/7 hockey life began.

Was now the best time to talk to Matty?

The thought of what he had to do first distracted him from that question.

He couldn’t keep living in fear that Matty would show up at his place at the same time Hans was home.

In fact, it was great timing that he ran into Hans hanging out with a couple other guys outside the arena.

And excellent timing that Hans was just saying, “…course Kevin signed up to volunteer with Matty.”

“Why’s that?” Kevin asked casually, letting the steel arena side door slam shut behind him as he tucked his hands in his jeans pockets, approaching the group.

He noted the other guys awkwardly shifting and chuckling, but he didn’t give a fuck who they were or why they were talking to Hans. His gaze was locked on his roommate.

Hans shifted and licked his lips, his eyes cutting to the side door and then back to Kevin. “Nothing.”

“No, I wanna know. You’ve been talking a lot about me lately, I heard.” Kevin forced himself to keep his voice friendly. This wasn’t gonna become a brawl in the parking lot, by any means. He just had to talk things through.

Hans straightened up, pushing himself away from the side of the building. “You know, just seems like you guys are… pretty tight.”

“Yeah?” Kevin asked. “Why’s that?”

“Always meeting up, making sure you leave separately… working out together… you know.”

“And that’s different from Fisher and CJ how?” Kevin asked. “Or any one of… shit, how many dozens of guys are buddies around here?”

“Right, right,” Hans answered, but his voice was not in the slightest convinced.

Kevin paused for long moments, his eyes flickering between Hans’s. Hans looked guilty when he scrutinized him, but he stood his ground. Kevin jerked his chin up slightly, keeping his voice down. “I don’t care if you think or say I’m gay to anyone and everyone. It’s not something to be ashamed about, and it’s really none of your business anyway. Just don’t sabotage my fuckin’ career and we’re good.”

He held Hans’s gaze for half a second, then turned on his heel and strode off for the bus stop.

What he didn’t expect was the crunch of footsteps behind him. A wild part of him, born and bred in a place where guys had fucked him up for even admitting he could be gay, tensed up and planned where to grab Hans’s arm and throw him to the concrete, but Hans didn’t touch him. He just caught up beside him.

“I’m sorry.”

That made Kevin stop in his tracks. He examined Hans’s face for a second or two, his brows drawing together. That was an awfully fast apology.

“Yeah?” he responded carefully, turning again to walk towards the bus stop. He walked slower this time, making it clear Hans could follow.

And follow Hans did, keeping him company towards the bus. “Yeah. I, uh… I got… wrapped up in losing my spot. Maybe forever.”

There was no mistaking the raw emotion in his voice, even if Hans tried to flatten it out and sound casual.

Kevin believed him now. He nodded slightly, scuffing down the street toward the shelter. “That’s gotta suck. But man, I offered to train with you. I could’ve—can—help.”

He wasn’t sure he’d trust Hans again soon, but he had to live with the guy for now.

Hans hesitated, then shook his head. “No, you don’t need to do that.”

“Either way, you do. That’s the difference right now,” Kevin told him. No better time than the present for brutal honesty. “You have to work harder, or you are gonna lose that spot forever.”

Hans’s eyes steeled for a second, and it seemed almost like he might shove Kevin, but he held back. “What?”

“I just told the kids, I’m not that talented,” Kevin laughed. “I’m not some wonder kid. Jesus, I just got my bachelors degree.”

Hans conceded that with a slight smile and nod.

“I just work really fuckin’ hard at what I do. So a little tough love: work harder, and work more. Then it’ll be a fair fight for my position, right?”

They were at the bus stop, and Hans was slowly settling down again, his shoulders sinking. “Yeah. Uh, you… you gonna stay living with me after…?”

“Depends,” Kevin told him, keeping his voice calm. As much as he wanted to punch Hans for being a dick, that wouldn’t solve much. “You gonna be a dick every time I have a buddy over? Or, if it came to it, a boyfriend?”

Hans flinched and winced, but he looked down the street for a second, sucking on his teeth. Then he looked back at Kevin and shook his head. “I’ll mind my own business. Uh, you might wanna know this.” It was almost painful for him to speak, so Kevin waited it out. “The other guys told me straight-up… it’d be awesome if you were gay.”

Kevin quirked his brow.

“They all want to support whoever the first guy to come out is.” Hans cracked a small smile, and Kevin knew the look of a man trying his damnedest to accept defeat gracefully.

Kevin smiled back, then nodded. “Here’s the bus. You coming home?”

“Nah. I think I’m gonna walk around a bit,” Hans admitted. “Clear my head.”

Kevin hesitated as the bus pulled to a stop by them, then offered his hand. When Hans took it, they shook. It was a tentative trust between them, and Hans still looked like he was worried the gay would rub off on him, but it was better now.

“See you later.”

“See ya.” Hans turned to walk down the street, hands in his pockets.

Just as well, because Kevin wasn’t heading home.

* * *

Walking up to Hans had been a piece of cake. He hadn’t even had to make his message sink home with knuckles or threats.

Approaching Matty’s door? Jesus, that was like slogging through molasses.

Kevin felt a little shitty for ignoring Matty yesterday and today, for not once bringing up the fact that he was really happy with the way the date had gone and that he wanted more like that.

It hadn’t taken long—just long enough to book his flight and arrange for a ride from the airport—before he’d regretted leaving Matty’s house. Especially before he told Matty what was really on his mind.

Whatever Matty wanted to be, he wanted from him. Thing was, he was gonna have to ask for it. They couldn’t keep making out, hooking up, and fucking fleeing. No, he couldn’t keep doing that. It wasn’t Matty running away every time, after all.

He sucked on his lower lip for a second, then let out a slow, shaky breath and walked up the porch steps.

It wasn’t like he couldn’t just greet Matty as a buddy, walk in and hang out with him, but… Matty deserved better than that. Matty was just waiting for him to man up, and he was here to do that.

A few moments after he rang the bell, he heard voices inside and his stomach jolted with nerves.

Then, Matty was beaming at him, pushing open the screen door for him. “Hey, man. I was gonna wait but you looked pretty caught up.”

Kevin jerked his head in a nod and stepped into the foyer.

A glance at the living room beyond showed him CJ, Chris, and Fisher. The usual guys, then. The ones Matty kept telling him he didn’t care if they found out.

Thank God.

“Yeah, no problem. Uh, before anything, I just gotta… You wanna come home with me? Visit Cam and hang out with me properly—no, I mean, date me properly, away from the gym and Hans and all this bullshit, and…”

He was positive his cheeks were tomato-red, but the words spilled from his lips, not at all in the suave order he’d imagined them into on the bus. “I mean, as, not just buddies,” he desperately started to clarify. “Like, boyfriends? Do you do boyfriends? I do boyfriends, but I never asked—”

Shit, was he supposed to do this in front of his friends? Should he have texted? He definitely should have texted.

Matty was grinning, pulling him in by the waist in one hard, fast jerk.

Kevin stumbled into Matty’s body, barely getting his arms around Matty’s shoulders as Matty kissed him hard.

Oh, God, it was like coming home into Matty’s arms. He hadn’t realized until this second how much he’d missed those full lips, those warm eyes, the strong hands on him…

Especially the warm lips that slid along his own for a second or two as Matty tilted his head so they could kiss deeper and Kevin’s hands finally settled on Matty’s waist, curling in to grip and claim him every bit as much as Matty was staking his own claim.

Even a couple days of avoiding Matty had him feeling like he’d never breathed air before when he pulled back.

And then he realized there was a mix of groans, whoops, and laughter from the living room.

Kevin wanted to melt through the floor instead of look at them, but Matty was grinning broadly at him.

“I’ve never been wooed so hard in my life,” Matty teased, dark eyes sparkling with mischief. “What a romantic.”

Kevin covered his face with both hands now, letting go of Matty. “Shit.”

They were all laughing now, even him.

When he managed to drag his hands down his face, Matty’s hand curled around his wrist to help pull his hands down, then slipped into his own as Matty pulled him into the living room.

“Fredericton. What a romantic invitation.” CJ was grinning from the armchair, his feet on the coffee table.

“Fuck Paris,” Fisher agreed. “Someone take me to Fredericton.”

“I would if you spoke any French,” CJ shook his head.

“Damn it. I missed my chance,” Fisher dramatically groaned.

Kevin realized he hadn’t really been breathing, still too wound-up to make any eye contact, but as he gradually relaxed, he started to laugh along with them again.

They were being teased, but it was friendly. Just like his buddies back home would have done—making fun of him, but not because they wanted him to feel that guilty squirm like he was doing something wrong.

No—because they wanted him to look embarrassed.

“Fuck off,” Kevin laughed, which started another round of laughter.

Matty pulled Kevin over to the couch. “Guess we better book me a ticket. What flight are you on?”

Kevin rubbed his face before he pulled out his phone, his head still spinning at how fast everything had happened.

All he’d had to do all this time was ask. Maybe not like a backcountry bumpkin who’d never been kissed, but he could live that down.

Maybe, eventually.

He had the feeling these guys wouldn’t let that happen for a while, but that was surprisingly okay with him.