Chapter 9
Haunting music played while Nate waltzed Savon around a twinkling ballroom. The flickering glow of a thousand candles cast a romantic tone. She wore the same elaborate lace gown from the night before.
As always, Nate was gorgeous in a tailored tux. Sadness haunted his molten brown eyes.
She didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to push him away. No, falling into his arms and staying seemed the right choice, but fear kept her from considering it.
“To old times,” Nate said sweetly.
Tears filled her eyes, even in the dream. “No, to new times. We can’t be what we were, Nate.”
“All right, to new times, but only if you promise no more tears.”
“I’ll try.”
He brushed them away with a sad smile. “Why did you leave tonight?”
“Is this a dream?” she whispered.
Nodding, he lifted her chin until she met eyes. “Yes, but it’s more. We need to talk, Savon. Face to face, in the real world. There is so much for me to explain.”
Stepping away, she shook her head. “More than a dream? All these years?”
He dipped his head, staring at the ground. “I’ve tried to tell you. You always run.”
She froze, trying to wrap her head around him actually being there, with her, in her dreams.
Hurt, agony really, crashed over her and she ran again—past the candles, into the dark corridor.
“Savon, wait. Please, hear me out.”
Her shattered edges wanted to crumble and fall apart again.
No more pain, no more hurting. No more fucking crying for the boy who broke her all those years ago.
Shining eyes filled the darkness. Hundreds of wolves filled the night. One set glowed red as they approached her.
Halting, she stumbled back. Nate caught her. “I’ll always be here, waiting. Please, listen to me. That’s all I’m asking.”
She spun, staring into his eyes. Love, desperation, regret, a million other emotions that threatened to drown her.
“How?”
“Let me explain face to face. I’ll tell you everything, even the parts you don’t know.”
Panic edged in, she pulled away. He could have sent word, an explanation, made Bran tell her. Anything to make her understand twelve fucking years ago.
A hysteric laugh escaped. “It’s a little late. All this time, and you saw me breaking apart every damned time you came to me. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I can’t let you go. Never could.”
“I can’t do this.” She backed away.
His eyes closed. “Before you decide what to do with Jay, you need the whole story. I won’t stand in your way. I wasn’t trying to tonight. You said we could be friends. I have always watched out for my friends.”
“You asshole! You’ve been in my damned head all this time. You saw the mess I became.” She raked her fingers through her hair. “You let me think I was insane all these years. How could you!”
Savon pulled herself from sleep.
Rolling over, she glared at the clock. Six in the fucking morning. That gave her enough time to drink coffee and get ready before an hour-long run. Then she’d meet Jay to see if he could give her any answers.
Shit, the dream—every damned dream. Was he really there all these years? Or had she finally lost her fucking mind? Could be argued she’d lost that ages ago.
Please just be a nightmare.
* * * *
Sleep wasn’t an option after Savon pulled herself out of the dream. Nate was going fucking crazy trying to figure out how to fix what he broke. He shouldn’t have admitted the dream wasn’t purely a dream in the damned dream, but he couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth.
Damned fucking fool.
Yes, she needed to know, but not like that.
He hurried through a shower and dressed for work. Knowing Savon, she’d go for a run. He’d seen her do that a million times after she woke up from a dream. And because they’d shared bond since they were little, he could check on her even when she was awake. She was his Sleepwalker. He couldn’t resist, he was always drawn to her.
The agony in her eyes should have kept him away.
It didn’t.
If anything, he pushed harder to reach her.
He ran out the door, across his yard, hopped the fence, and sprinted to her porch. The door opened as he lifted his fist to knock.
Savon froze, a strangled gasp came out as anger flowed over her features.
“Sav, please, let me explain.”
She pushed the door, attempting to shut him out, but he slipped in and took her arms in his hands. “Damn it, Sav, five minutes. Please.”
Her head jerked away as tears leaked down her face. “You were there? All these years you were there?”
“You were the one thing that pulled me out of the coma. My father threatened to destroy you if I went after you. He would have done it too. I held onto you the only way I could. In your dreams, where he never knew I was watching over you. But I couldn’t get you to listen, no matter how hard I tried.”
She threw her hands up, pacing away. “What the hell would he have done to me if you came to me in San Francisco?”
Nate moved in front of her, capturing her attention. “He was an ancient wolf. He would have hunted you down and ripped you apart, making sure I saw every second.”
Sneering, she laughed harshly. “Bastard always underestimated me.”
“Don’t you get it? I was terrified he would kill you. It was bad enough having you across the country, out of my reach. But I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you because of me. And now you’re here, and you’re thrown into the middle of the war that’s brewing.”
“Between who?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face, searching for an explanation.
“Fine, keep your secrets.” She grabbed her phone and went to push past him.
“Shit, just give me a second to gather my thoughts. I want you to hear all of it. I’m not holding it back, but let me figure out what I can say that doesn’t come out like a lovesick pup.”
Her eyes blazed, sparks dancing in the hazel depths.
“My father was the pack’s alpha for two hundred years. He was cruel and always got his way. Just as he did with your mother.”
“What?” Savon asked.
“He seduced your mother thirty-nine years ago. Thirty-four years ago she conceived Bran, but as much as my father loved her, he couldn’t resist the mate bond when my mother came along.
Fawn wouldn’t let my father touch her again. She left town with Darron, and everyone thought Bran was his, but the truth eventually came out. Your parents came back soon after I was born to my mother and father. Then your parents had you three years later.”
“Wait…hold on…Bran is your brother too?” A shudder rocked down her spine as she paced away.
“Neither of us knew until a two years ago. After your parents died. Some asshole shot Bran and Killian changed him to save him. He told him the story. Bran told me, and my asshole of a father admitted to it all.”
She rubbed at her chest, taking another step away. “But you and I aren’t blood. Please tell me I wasn’t fucking my own brother.”
He shook his head. “No. You and I don’t share blood. Though we both share blood with Bran. I’m not your brother.”
She sank onto a chair. “When was he going to tell me?”
Nate took a seat on the coffee table and looked her in the eye. “Once you forgave me for what I couldn’t control.”
She blinked, then a strangled sound escaped. “I may never forgive you for leaving and never coming back.”
That was a lead fist to his chest, but he pushed past the pain. “And I’ll have to accept that, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re still thrust into the middle of this war. Jay wants the pack. He killed my father to become Alpha, but the land hasn’t accepted him. It doesn’t make a damned bit of sense. Now, half the wolves want me to take the pack. They’re convinced I’m the only one the territory will accept, but I’ve never heard of a case where the one who killed the Alpha wasn’t immediately the new Alpha.”
She pressed at her temples, shaking her head.
He pushed on before she could leave. “Jay wants to destroy me. Everyone knows you’re everything—”
Her head snapped up, her eyes blazing. “Don’t you dare finish that.” She paced away and stopped at the counter.
“I’m not saying that’s his only interest in you. I’m telling you it’s a possibility. And if you choose Jay, I won’t stand in your way.” The words were a silver dagger in his chest, but clearly he’d done more than enough damage. “Just make sure of what he really wants before you decide. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
She shot him a deadly look before turning away. “You hurt me, Nate. You haunt my dreams every damned night. You show up during the day. I thought reality broke and I was a fucking lunatic. You tore my heart out, then tore my mind apart.”
He dropped his gaze to the floor, flexing his fists. “I’m there with you. I can’t help myself.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
He followed, but didn’t touch her. “Tonight. Or as soon as you gave me a chance.”
Tears leaked down her face and her voice cracked. “You’re the reason my head is such a fucking mess.” She shoved him and walked away. “Damn you, Nate. You just had to call. One call. Fuck.”
“Sit, please.”
She covered her ears and winced as she moved away again. “I need to be up.”
“Fine.” He moved in front of her and reached for her hands, but his were flung back by an invisible force.
Her eyes narrowed as she stepped back. “Don’t touch me, just tell me the rest.”
Invisible hands plucked at his clothing, attempting to pull him in the opposite direction. That should have scared him, but he was grateful for the protection they provided Savon.
He squared his shoulders. “That day I left, a truck ran me off the road on my way back. I took my father’s car, and he swears my mother thought I was him. She ran me off the road, into the river. She pulled me out and killed herself when she thought I was dead. Between the fractured skull, swelling brain, and lack of air for ten minutes, they didn’t expect me to wake up. My father took me from the hospital, changed me, and hired the best doctors he could find to watch over me. When I didn’t wake up after two weeks, he brought Evangeline there, hoping to bring me out of the coma. She’s a Dreamwalker, like me. She taught me how to find you in dreams. Before I ever woke up, I went to you, but I couldn’t do anything but watch at first. That changed with time. Then I woke up, and I could still see you when you were awake. You’re my Sleepwalker. We share a bond. We always have, Savon.”
Heavy tears rolled down her face. “Fuck you and the damned bond. You should have come for me.”
“I was a monster. My father turned me against my will. And without you, I couldn’t control my impulses. Not only was I terrified my father would kill you, but there was a very real possibility I could have hurt you.”
Her eyes narrowed as they swung back. “I don’t care about you being a wolf. You say you loved me. You should have come. The boy I remember would have. We were going to run away together.” Her sob wrenched his heart tighter.
Nate reached for her, and she threw her hand up. He stumbled back as if pushed.
“Don’t touch me.” Fear flowed over her expression as she backed away, shaking her head. “Please, don’t.”
“I wanted to come to you,” he admitted. “I knew what he would do to you if I ever contacted you in a way he could verify. He had me followed. Someone was always watching. I tried telling you this in your dreams a million times. I didn’t want to keep this secret. You never gave me a chance.”
Her arms wound around herself. “You let your father win. He kept you away from me. And it’s too late, Nate.”
“I tried to reach you. The only way he couldn’t know for sure. I tried, damn it. And even now, I can’t let you go. It’s why I’m always there. Every time you let a man in, I try to let you walk away, to let you find happiness, but then you reach for me in your dreams only to run. Part of you seeks me out.”
“You don’t get it, Nate. You stalked me in dreams for years, you show up when I’m awake. I thought I was mental.” She wiped at her face. “You’re the one holding on. Not me. Just let me go.”
He laughed bitterly. “I’ve tried. God knows I’ve tried, but every time I think I can walk away you pull me back and I stay. You’re my Sleepwalker, Sav. You’re the only one who has ever pulled me into a dream.”
“What does that even mean?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. My father didn’t want me to learn my talents. He forbade Evangeline to teach me. Now that he’s gone, I’ve been exploring more, but she doesn’t have all the answers either.”
The absolute terror in her eyes tore at Nate. She started for the door. “I need to go. I can’t do this.”
He moved in front of her, searching her face. “One thing, Sav. If you choose Jay, make sure you are what he truly wants.”
Pain floated over face before anger replaced it. “Thought you said you were still fighting for me.”
He took a step closer. “Oh, I’m not done by a long shot. And with my father out of the picture, he can’t hurt you. So, I’ll let you go for now. One day you’re going to wake up and realize I’m still in your heart no matter how much you want to hate me and how much you want to push me away. You can’t. You’ve tried, and you still can’t.”
“Out!” she cried before turning away. Savon collapsed to her knees, covering her head.
The door flew open and a hundred hands pushed Nate back until he tumbled ass first out the door and down the stairs.
“Leave me alone!” she cried.
The door slammed shut and the locks clicked, while she was facing away, huddled on the floor.
What the fuck was that?
Nate walked back to the door and felt something pushing at him. He knocked anyway.
“Just go away.” Her sob ripped through him. Dropping his head, he left.
Man, he’d made a mess of everything. But he hoped like hell time would bring her back to him.
* * * *
Savon held back the scream that wanted loose. His super hearing would make him come running. She couldn’t deal with him yet, she needed to process everything he said, and he kept trying to touch her when she was barely holding in the warring emotions.
She couldn’t always control the spirits around her on a good day, and she was seconds away from breaking. Maybe after she had time to think she could face him. But if he kept pushing, she wouldn’t be able to stop what would happen.
Time and answers, that’s what she needed.
Was he right? Did she call him back?
She honestly didn’t know.
He said Dreamwalker and Sleepwalker, but she didn’t know what he meant.
So many damned questions. She hurried up the stairs and changed into skinny jeans, a tank top, and braided her hair back before slipping her combat boots on. Then she grabbed her phone and flopped back on the bed to call an old friend.
Tremaine picked up on the second ring, out of breath. “Hello?”
“Hey, Trem. Look, I need a huge favor. I need information on Dreamwalkers, and something they refer to as a Sleepwalker.”
“What’s going on, Savon?”
She drew a breath and let it out. “Look, it’s a long story. I’ll be up in Edenton probably tomorrow. Just for a night or two. I need the information before I figure out what to do, but I have two people I promised I’d see before I leave.”
“Do I need to kick someone’s ass? Like maybe Nikolai?”
She snorted. “Oh, I’m not sure that asshole is even still breathing, but I’m not worried about him. Look, we can talk when I get there.”
“Where are you, Savon?”
She groaned. “Silvertail Ridge. I moved back home. Needed a break from the big city.”
“You better damn well tell me everything,” Tremaine insisted.
“I will. Hopefully, I’ll have more details, because right now, there are too many missing pieces.
His voice lowered. “You’re starting to worry me.”
She snorted. “Warn Liz I’m coming. And make sure she knows I’m not after you. Please. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.” Years ago, after her world fell apart completely, Tremaine helped put her back together. Sometime later, she wanted to feel something, only she quickly realized he was in love with Liz and bowed out before things got too awkward.
It had been too late. Things with Liz never went back to normal. Last she heard, they were together and another man filled their puzzle. Honestly, she was happy they found their place together. Maybe now Liz would let the past go.
Tremaine chuckled. “She’s over that by now. And she asked about you the other day.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll see you in the next twenty-four hours.”
“Call me if you need help there. We can be there in a second.”
“How?”
“I’ll tell you about that later, but don’t forget.”
“Okay. I got to go.”
“See you later.” He hung up, and Savon hopped off the bed and hurried downstairs.
Her promise ensured she met Jay. She found Jay standing by a Harley at precisely eight.
“Wasn’t sure you’d come,” he admitted.
She snorted. “Promised, didn’t I? Plus, I want the real story.”
“You’ll have it.” He handed over a helmet. “A warning. Your brother will likely pull us over.”
A groan escaped. “Then don’t break the law.”
A chuckle rolled out of him as he threw a leg over the seat. “Come on. We’ll go to a public diner and talk. Then, you can decide what you want.”
Fuck, she didn’t have a damned clue what she wanted.
“Don’t trust him,” the voice whispered.
She wanted to answer, but didn’t want to look like a loon. Not yet.
“Thanks.” She took the helmet, slid it on, and joined him on the back.
“Hold tight,” he purred, revving the engine.
Savon leaned close, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing against his back. Red swept through his aura, pulling at her own desire. A deep craving roared to life.
A sexy growl rumbled out of Jay. Her defiant side wanted to explore what he had to offer. There was a magnetic pull to Jay, but what she felt for Nate was so much stronger.
He flew out of the parking lot and tore off down the road. Sure enough, before they made it out of Silvertail Ridge, police lights flashed.
She snorted. “Told you not to break the law.”
“He would have pulled me over anyway. May as well make the ticket worth it.” Jay pulled to the side of the road. Savon sat back and glared her brother down as he walked to them.
He shook his head. “You’re playing with fire, Sav.”
“Just give him a ticket and let us go on our way.”
Jay shrugged a shoulder. “It’s okay. He does this every chance he gets. Doesn’t change a damned thing.”
“I could bring you in for reckless endangerment,” Bran taunted.
“Seriously, Bran. Can you not be a dick?” Savon snapped.
His eyes narrowed at her. “I’m looking out for you.”
“I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Fine, it’s your life.” He stormed back to his car and pulled away.