I leaned against the door and watched Victor give instructions to Micah.

“Drink lots of water and rest. I mean it.”

“Shut the fuck up, doc,” Micah teased, with a chuckle that ended in a wince. “By the Everlast, this hurts.”

“You’re lucky Ceris spelled your armor; otherwise, the wound on your chest would have gone through your lungs.”

Micah wrinkled his nose. “What a pretty picture.”

Victor shook his head. “All right. Time to rest. I’ll check on you later.”

He turned and paused upon seeing me there.

“How is he?” I asked in a low voice.

Victor approached me at the door. “He’ll be okay. But I mean it. If Ceris hadn’t enchanted our armor, his human body would have died and his soul would have been lost.” He sighed. “He’s a little groggy because of the strong painkillers I gave him.”

“And Keisha?”

“I’ve been coming and going from her room. She’s okay, for now.” He glanced at the door behind us, and then continued in a lower voice, “Her armor wasn’t enchanted. Ceris swore to me she enchanted all of our armor, but Keisha’s wasn’t. The bolt ripped right through it, through her skin, and burnt a hole just above her heart. She lost a lot of blood, not to mention the third degree burns surrounding the open wound. If it wasn’t for her hero’s healing, she would’ve died by now.”

Even with my problems with Ceris, I couldn’t believe she would miss Keisha’s armor on purpose. Putting Keisha at risk meant she was putting Victor at risk too, and the goddess would never do that. She needed everyone strong to protect Victor and the creed. Yet, Keisha’s armor had somehow been missed.

“You should get some rest too,” Victor said, cutting through my thoughts.

I nodded. “I’ll try after I sit with Micah for a while. If that is okay. I mean, he could be in bad shape.”

The corner of his lips tugged in a small smile. “He’s fine. Just don’t take too long. He does need to rest, and you do too.”

I nodded again, Victor walked out, and I stepped inside.

Micah looked pale and weak in the infirmary bed with an IV in his right arm. I approached him from the left.

He noticed me and smiled. “Hey, darling.”

I rested my hand on his arm. “You scared me back there, you know.”

He stared at me, all the grogginess gone. “I scared you? You scared me! What the hell were you trying to—?”

“All right, all right.” I patted his arm. “We can argue about this some other time. Right now you need to rest.” Honestly, I didn’t want to argue about what I almost did at the beach. Not now, not ever.

“You’re going to get an earful later.” He closed his eyes. “Where are Deven, Eklan, and Chael?”

“They were talking to Ceris a few minutes ago. She was explaining everything to them.”

“And their reaction?”

“They seemed surprised.”

“Good or bad surprised?”

“Good surprised. They seemed relieved you’re alive, even if you’re human. She explained about your scepter, and I think they will stay and help us.”

A small smile adorned his battered face. “That’s good. Very good.”

“It is.”

He sighed. “I hate to say this, but Ceris was right. We shouldn’t have gone. It wasn’t worth it.”

When weighing the good and bad, I guessed he was right, butI couldn’t tell him that.

“We have three more allies. That counts for something, doesn’t it?”

His eyes fluttered open, and his jaw tensed. “You heard Dane. They were never my friends. They never cared for me as I cared for them. They hate me.”

I ran my fingertips on his lower arm. “Hey, don’t say that. My guess is Dane lied to you to get under your skin.”

“It worked.” His gaze flickered to my hand on his arm.

I pulled my hand away. “Don’t do that to yourself. Chael, Deven, and Eklan are here, aren’t they? I don’t think they would have come if they hated you. In fact, I think they would have killed you back at the beach when you told them who you are if they hated you, if they didn’t want their master back.”

He scoffed. “Master ... I hate that word.” He slid his hand in mine and squeezed. “Nadine, about the other thing Dane said. About … toys. My toys. I—”

“How about we also continue this conversation another time?” I cut him off, not ready to hear whatever he wanted to tell me. “You should relax and rest now.”

I started pulling my hand away, but he held it tight. “Wait, Nadine. You promised me you wouldn’t try to take your life like before. You broke your promise.”

I averted my eyes. This wasn’t the time to talk about this. Using my hand that he still held, he pulled me closer. “Your soul is mine,” he said in a low, dangerous tone. “You don’t have the right to kill yourself anymore.”

I pressed my lips together, willing the tears away. “I won’t be tortured again. I will take my own life before I let that happen.”

The rage slipped away from his face, replaced by worry. He reached with his other hand and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, stroking my skin gently. “I won’t let that happen. Never again. Now promise me you won’t try to take your life again.”

I averted my eyes and shifted my weight. I couldn’t promise that. If someone captured me or if I was tortured, I would kill myself if given the chance. I wouldn’t let my captor use anyone else to get to me. I wouldn’t let anyone else die because of me.

“Nadine, pr—”

I kissed his cheek. “You need to rest. I’ll see you later.” I hurried out of the room as Micah called my name again.

I turned a corner in the hallway and bumped into Deven.

“Oh, sorry,” I said, stepping back.

He offered me a grin, much like Micah’s when he was in a good mood. “No worries. You’re Nadine, right?” I nodded. “I’m Deven. This is Chael”—he gestured to a guy with a military buzz haircut and hazel eyes—“and Eklan.” A guy with smooth black skin, black eyes, and dreadlocks waved at me.

“Hi. Nice to meet you all.”

“I hear you can heal Lord Levi and Lord Mitrus,” Chael said. “That’s cool.”

“Is it true you don’t know what you are?” Eklan asked.

Heat flooded my cheeks. I hated being in the spotlight. “Nobody knows what I am.”

“That must be odd,” Deven said.

I cleared my throat. “It has been a long day. If you'll excuse me, I need to rest.”

Deven stepped out of the way. “Of course. But first, can you tell us which room is Lord Mitrus’s?”

I pointed over my shoulder. “Third door on your right.”

“Great. Thanks.”

I nodded and walked past them. An urge to glance back assaulted me, but I held on. Something about them bugged me, but it was probably because they looked as confident and cocky as Micah, and I had already had enough of that.

* * *

Sleep didn’t come easy, and when it came, nightmares crowded it.

Because of that, I was up too early.

I slipped on yoga pants, a tank top, my sneakers, and crept into the kitchen where I whipped up a black coffee and a few pancakes. I left some on a plate for whoever came in first and felt like eating them. I refilled my coffee mug and headed to the gym.

After almost forty minutes of kicking, punching, and sweating, Ceris walked in the gym.

I missed my blow, tripped, and almost fell, my mouth hanging open.

She was wearing sweatpants and a tee, and had tied her hair into a long braid on her back. At that moment, she looked like a mix of Ceris and Cheryl.

A longing pang ran through my chest.

I put my gloved hands over my waist. “What are you doing?”

“Keisha and Micah are hurt, so I thought you could use a hand with training.”

I scoffed. “You? Training with me? I have never seen you close a fist to hit anyone.”

“Well, I prefer using my magic, but when you live long enough, you learn a thing or two. I promise it’ll be time well spent.”

“No, thank you. I can train alone.”

“Not for combat, you can’t.”

“I’ll just punch the dummy, and I don’t need to train for combat every day.”

She laughed. “Says the girl who so desperately wanted to learn how to fight.”

“Well, I did learn. I’m not Keisha, but I’m getting better.”

She walked to the farthest wall and examined the swords. “You know what makes a good fighter? Sparring with different opponents. Everyone has a different fighting style. If you spar with different people, you’ll be better prepared.”

Micah said the same thing, but somehow coming from Ceris, it wasn’t a welcomed statement.

I frowned at her. “Why are you doing this?”

She arched a blond eyebrow at me. “This what?”

“Being nice, helping.”

“It is who I am.”

“Ugh, what a lie,” I muttered.

“Nadine, you may not want to hear this, but I was Cheryl. I am Cheryl. All her worries, all her pep talks, all her smiles and hugs and nice words, they were mine and they were true.”

“I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. After all you did to Victor and me, you think I’ll believe you’re actually a good person? Goddess ... whatever.”

“What do you want from me? Do you want me to say I’m sorry? Well, I’m not sorry. I don’t regret anything I did. If we went back in time and was presented with the same facts, I would do everything the same way again.”

“Even kill innocent people? Like Victor’s parents, his grandfather, his friend, his girlfriend, and even that girl from whom you made the Black Thorn?”

She pressed her lips tight for a moment. “I did what I had to do.”

“No. You did what you thought would bring Victor to you, even if it meant being as evil as Imha.”

Her blue eyes flared. “Don’t compare me to Imha! I’m not like her, and I’ll never be. I know I did horrible things, but I would do them again if it meant we would get us to where we are now. Haven’t you heard of sacrificing a few so that many can live? That was the situation.”

“But his parents? When he was a little kid?”

“Those weren’t his real parents. Like the Fates would say, they just served a purposed. Besides, I had to uproot him, otherwise he wouldn’t let you get close. He wouldn’t transfer to New York, and he wouldn’t need you.”

“I still don’t understand why you simply didn’t walk up to him when he was older and explain everything to him.”

“Besides the fact that gods aren’t supposed to interfere in humans’ lives? He would have freaked out, or thought I was a freak.”

I crossed my arms and stared at her. “You interfered in mine.”

“The only thing I did was give you the Destiny Gift. And, if you actually think about it, it was a gift from the Fates, not me. Being Cheryl didn’t interfere with anything you did. I was just there when you needed to talk. I encouraged you, and I never told to do something you didn’t want to.”

I thought about it for a moment. It was hard to admit, but it was true. She never obligated me to do anything. Like the Fates pointed out to me once, Ceris had told me about the job at Langone, but I was the one who applied for it. She never told me I had to. She was there when I was heartbroken about Victor, and she suggested I go after him. More than once, she had been there for me.

I hated this ambiguous feeling in my chest. I wanted to despise her until the day I died.

Then she spoke words I never thought I would hear. “My only regret over everything I’ve done was not to have taken you more seriously after everything. I should have listened to you at Cathedral Rock. I should have taken you and Mitrus from there and kept you both safe. I should have acted like a friend.”

I stared at her, completely in shock. No, she couldn’t do this to me right now. She couldn’t use Cheryl, couldn’t pretend she cared, or say things to melt my resolve.

First, I hated her, I really did. I wished she would burn at a stake for eternity like the bad witch I thought she was. Then, my hate subsided and I learned to live around her, to deal with her, even to fight beside her. I could do that. I could pretend she was an ally, but nothing more than that. However, having her come to me and tell me she regretted not being a friend to me was too much.

Feeling emotionally exhausted, I took off my gloves, threw them on the floor, and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere else.” I stopped at the door and looked at her. “I can’t deal with you right now.”

* * *

Four agonizing days went by.

Ceris and Izaera were gone, trying to locate the other gods and goddesses and, I hoped, to convince them to join our team. Morgan didn’t stop with his rituals. Victor spent most of his time in a conference room with Zelen, meditating, of all things. Keisha had woken up and was feeling slightly better. According to Victor, she would make it through but she would feel her shoulder for a few weeks. She—and I—was just relieved she was out of risk. Micah was up and better. He spent all of his free time catching up with his friends. Deven, Chael, and Eklan seemed enthusiastic to have Micah, or Mitrus, back, putting Micah’s doubts of their loyalty to rest.

On the fifth day, Ceris and Izaera came back. They hadn’t located any gods or goddesses, but they did some exploring.

“Time is ticking and finding the scepters is now our priority,” Ceris said, standing in front of the table in the conference room. “We have visited every place of power we could think of.” She extended her arm in front of her. A large rolled paper, much like a scroll, appeared in her hand. “Cathedral Rock, the pyramids, Chichen Itza, Stonehenge. Nothing.”

She unrolled the paper in the center of the table of the conference room, revealing a map on yellowed paper with torn edges. We all leaned over to get a better look. The map looked a lot like the one I had seen when Imha had me, but this one didn’t have any magical symbols hovering over it.

“We can’t think of many other places,” Izaera said. “The remaining ones seem improbable locations.”

“Or,” Ceris continued, “there are other places of power we don’t know about.”

Victor shook his head. “That’s not possible.”

“Why not?” Ceris asked. “Until thirty years ago, which is a short amount of time considering how long we’ve been on this Earth, we thought killing gods was impossible.”

“You have a point,” Zelen spoke. “But do you have any leads as to where those places of power could be?”

Ceris sighed. “No.”

Izaera tapped her index finger on the map. “Our idea is to find a well-equipped library, borrow lots of history books, and research locations where important events happened.”

“I like that idea,” Morgan said.

Micah leaned back in his chair, clearly bored with the map. “I thought finding the scepters was time sensitive,” Micah said.

“It is,” Ceris responded.

“Then how do you suggest we research hundreds of books?” he asked.

Ceris glared at him, not afraid of showing how she hated when he interrupted her. “Every one of us will have to help. We’ll have to sleep less, train less, meditate less, and research more. All of us.”

Micah kicked his heels up onto the table. “That sounds boring.”

“It may be,” Ceris said through gritted teeth. “But it’s the only idea we have.”

“And if we find something, it’ll be worth it,” Izaera added.

Ceris rolled up the map. “Then, it’s decided. Izaera and I will search for libraries tomorrow, and we will start our research the next day.”

* * *

I stepped out of the conference room and turned toward my bedroom.

“Nadine,” Micah called. I slowed down and let him catch up with me. “You were quiet in there.”

I shrugged, not sure how to answer. It wasn’t as if I made a habit of speaking up.

“How are your days with your buddies?” I asked, hearing the jealousy and irritation in my words.

He smiled. “Do you miss me, darling?”

Shaking my head, I hurried my steps down the corridor.

“I know why you’re walking fast, darling,” Micah said, sounding annoyed. “Point taken. Can you please wait?”

Huffing, I slowed down. “You don’t need to walk with me.”

“I know, but I’ve barely seen you the last five days, and I have two things to talk to you about.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Oh?”

“About what Dane said.” He pressed his lips into a thin line and his jaw worked. “And you still didn’t promise me you won’t try … doing again what you tried to do at the beach.”

I shook my head. “I can’t promise you that. I really can’t. I won’t be tortured again, and I won’t let anyone else suffer or be killed because of me.” I couldn’t really talk about it without remembering my family. It hurt too much.

He grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to stop, and turned me to him. “I’m not sure if you believe me or not, but I told you I’ll never let that happen again. I meant it.”

I looked into his eyes. This was one of those rare moments when he was too serious. Well, perhaps it wasn’t that rare anymore.

“I believe you, but in case you fail, I’ll do it.”

He leaned closer, holding my stare. “I won’t fail,” he said, his voice low. I held my breath, aware that his lips were a couple of inches from mine.

Knowing it was better not to argue, I nodded. I glanced down the corridor—we were three doors from my bedroom. I retreated, causing him to let me go.

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

He reached one hand to me, but I retreated one more step. “Wait. I need to explain about what Dane said.”

“You don’t need to explain anything.”

“But I want to.”

I closed my eyes for a second, gathering strength to resist him and his charms. “Micah, I don’t want to hear it. Seriously.”

Hurt flashed on his features, but it was so quick, I may have imagined it there.

He nodded and before he could say anything else or stop me again, I rushed to my bedroom. I pushed my door closed, and then jumped into my bed, hugging Pinky as if the stuffed animal could save me from the madness I lived in.