The front door opened, and Ceris stepped out onto the porch.

She sat in the rocking chair beside mine. “Here,” she said, handing me a new mug with steamy coffee. “It’s black.”

I dropped the empty mug over the railing and took the new mug from her. “Thanks.” I sipped the hot liquid, kind of pleased when it burned my throat.

“How are you?” she asked.

Everyone asked me that every two minutes.

Apparently, I had lost consciousness when we were halfway through the first tunnel, right before the volcano erupted. They got outside with a second to spare and took us back to the island. Victor tended my wound. It was deeper than Micah first assumed, and I had lost a lot of blood. Victor performed a small surgery, transfused blood, and all that jazz. I stayed in bed, in and out of consciousness for four days. Keisha told me Micah barely left my side. Meanwhile, Ceris, Victor, and Izaera were out most of the time, looking for a new place for us. Since Morgan had been working with Omi, we didn’t know if the island had been compromised or not, and we didn’t want to risk it.

When I woke up, I cried nonstop for a couple of hours, feeling extremely guilty for having killed Morgan. They all assured me there was nothing we could have done to save him. I had saved Micah’s life. Oh, I had saved all their lives, which was another thing they kept saying every two minutes.

Ceris explained to me what she believed happened at the altar. I had the ability to heal Victor and Micah, and this same healing power was the key ingredient to “heal” them from human to god form. My healing was the power required for the altar to do its thing. Which sounded crazy, but we seemed surrounded by crazy.

I was freaking tired of it all.

I had escaped to the porch early in the morning, when I knew everyone was still sleeping. This was the third day that I sat here, surrounded by snow, with a mug of coffee and Pinky, under a heavy blanket, and stayed quiet, my mind blank, my soul calm. My moment of peace. Peace I didn’t deserve.

Today though I wanted my peace and quiet. I wanted to stay alone and keep my mind blank, so I wouldn’t remember what day it was. In vain, though. Each time I closed my eyes, images of Raisa and Olivia dragging me to a bar to celebrate invaded my mind. It made me more frustrated because I didn’t deserve to feel a happy warmth remembering those times.

Ceris sighed. “Nadine, you can’t live your entire life with this guilt. It’s not right.”

Ha, if only she knew. Now that Victor and Micah were full gods, my days in this world were halfway over. Now all we needed to find more allies, strategize a war, fight, and win.

“I know there was nothing we could have done for him,” I said. “I know that. I believe that. But that doesn’t change the fact that I killed him.”

She placed a hand on my arm. “I don’t think there is anything we can say to you that will lessen that feeling.” She paused. “The first time I killed a human I cried for days, then I disappeared for almost a year. I neglected my duties. Families everywhere began fighting, relationships crumbled, and wars began because of discord. Obviously, every deity in the world was franticly trying to find me. In the end, I realized I had to move on. Though that human had deserved it, I couldn’t stop living and neglecting my subjects and my own family because of my guilt. They deserved better. I pulled myself together and worked through it.”

“So I should pull myself together.” I hated when people lectured me.

“You should, but I understand if you don’t want to do it yet. Just don’t take too long. We have tons of things to do, and we’ll need your help.”

I scoffed. “Now that the guys are gods again, you don’t need anything else from me.”

She squeezed my arm, and I stared at her. “That’s not true. More than once you proved you are part of this family. We need you. We truly do.” Tears brimmed in my eyes. This family? Had she really said that? She offered me a sweet smile. “And Mitrus would go cuckoo if you left.”

Would he? I hadn’t really spoken to him since we came back. We had exchanged a few words. How are you? Are you hungry? Do you need help? But we hadn’t been alone and talked—really talked.

“Speaking of him,” she whispered, standing up.

As if on cue, the front door opened and Micah appeared behind it. “Hey,” he said, with a half smile.

“I’m gonna make more coffee.” She winked at me, and I shook my head, fighting a smile. How had we gotten here? Why wasn’t I wanting to jump at her throat anymore?

She left and Micah leaned on the porch’s railing, a couple of feet in front of me.

“How are you?”

I groaned. “If one more person asks me that, I’m gonna punch him.”

Bending over, he smiled. “Promise?” I punched his shoulder. “Ouch. Darling, I was teasing.”

“I wasn’t.”

He stared intently into my eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

I nodded, turning my eyes to my coffee. “And you? How’s life as a god?”

“The same shit it always was.”

I lifted my eyes to his. “Why is that?”

“It’s lonely,” he said, surprising me. “Right now it’s different because we need to help each other, but once we win this war, it’ll be lonely again. Levi, Ceris, Izaera, and the others are my family. We fight a lot, but each of us has his or her own life. Some, like Levi and Ceris, Sol and Lua, and sometimes Omi and Imha, have a life together, which probably makes eternity more bearable.”

“Wait … are you telling me you don’t like being a god?”

One corner of his lips turned up. “I never said that, darling. I love the power, the rush, the adrenaline, but when things are calm, which is most of the time, it can be lonely and boring, which is Imha’s explanation for her sick actions.”

I sipped from my mug, unsure where he was going with this topic or what I should say.

I whirled my finger around a strand of my hair. Micah smiled. “What?”

He pointed to my hand. “You haven’t done that in so long.”

Ugh, I hadn’t noticed. But he had. “Have you always been this observant?”

“I notice everything about you, darling. For instance, I know you haven’t sung in a long time, which is a shame.”

Wow, he was right. With everything going on, I hadn’t noticed that. But he had. I wondered if he knew more about me these days than I did. Now that he had mentioned it, my heart squeezed. I missed singing. But what good would it do? Singing wasn’t a weapon I could use in the war.

“So.” Clearing his throat, he pushed away from the railing and extended his hand to me. “Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.”

I watched his hand for a moment, unsure. Then I watched him. His expression. His eyes. The way they conveyed how he was really hoping for me to accept it.

I took his hand, expecting him to guide me inside the cottage, or out to the beach.

Instead he took us somewhere else.

* * *

We stood in the middle of a desert. There was sand and sand and more sand, an occasional cactus or two, a few rocks, a couple of dried trees, and more sand. Oh, yes, more sand.

“What the hell?” I asked, letting go of his hand.

“Through here,” he said, approaching the short, dead-looking trees. He stood in front of two of them, and then he beckoned me to follow him. “Come on, darling. You want this, I promise.”

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I strutted to him.

With one of his smug smiles, Micah touched the center of the trunk of each tree and a black veil formed among them.

“A portal?” I asked and he nodded. “To where?”

“You’ll see.”

He offered to take my hand again, and this time I didn’t hesitate. Curiosity was a hard thing to push back.

Together we stepped into the portal and into—I gasped—the underworld.

My mouth hung open as I glanced around. It was dark all right, but even so, there were spots of lights here and there, and it looked like a huge cave. We stood on a high ledge on a wall made of rocks, looking down at what seemed to be a park, with dark green grass, some trails and paths, even flowers and bushes, but what caught my attention was the lake. It was large and deep black, and several people—dead people—surrounded it.

“What is this place?” I asked, looking over the ledge.

“The Lake of Life.”

“B-but I saw it before, in a vision with Ceris. It was in a cave.”

“There are many caves around the lake.” He pointed to a stone wall on the far left. A small opening swallowed the water. “The dead come to the lake every once in a while to check on the loved ones they left behind.”

I whirled around to face him and almost tripped. “Wh-what are you saying?”

With a hand on my back, he steered me back to the edge and pointed to where a couple, three kids, and a baby walked down a path, going to the lake.

My knees buckled, and I crouched down. Tears blurred my vision, but I quickly wiped them away because I wanted to see them. I needed to see them.

My father, my mother, Nicole, Tommy, Teddie, and Troy sauntered down the path. They had smiles on their faces. The kids played with each other, pushing and teasing. And Troy—oh, God—baby Troy was with them, looking healthy.

Micah knelt beside me. “Happy twentieth birthday.”

I whipped my head so fast to look at him, my neck hurt. “What? How did you know?”

He shrugged. “I just know. Do you like my gift?”

I didn’t deserve any gifts, but at this moment, he was giving me more than I could ever ask.

Tears brimmed in my eyes. “I love it.”

“From what I’ve learned, they come here once a week to check on you.”

“They can see me?”

“Yes, through the reflection in the lake.”

“And now? Will they look at the lake and see I am here?”

He sighed. “Humans aren’t supposed to have contact with the dead. It disrupts their peace. I was hoping you would agree to leave before they reach the lake.”

“But …” I tried estimating the time it would take them to get there. “That’s only five, maybe six minutes.”

He rested his hand on my back again. “I know, darling, but think about it this way: at least you got to see them. You know they are all right. You know they are together. Isn’t that enough for now?”

Tommy poked Teddie and then raced around Mom and Dad. Nicole seemed annoyed, but when Teddie poked her too, she smiled and chased after them. All the while, my father grinned at them, and my mother made baby faces at Troy.

A small smile took over my lips. “Yes. For now.”

Micah sat down beside me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. Being here, watching my family with him, it was like paradise.

We observed my family for a minute more before he broke the silence.

“Nadine. About what Omi said, about me betraying everyone, I—”

“You don’t need to explain it.”

“I want to explain. To you.” He took my hand in his. “I was never a saint. Far from it, actually, but I wasn’t entirely evil. I argued with and contradicted everyone in my life, but I never betrayed them. At least, not all of them.” Like he betrayed Victor—a mistake I knew he regretted. “But … I’ve changed now. I don’t know how to explain it. I guess being human for over twenty years and actually living like them, understanding them, changed me.”

I knew it had changed him. I remembered the vision I had seen, of those men attacking his family and him at the open market, and the men killing his parents. I remembered his pain, his ache. I knew he would never forget that.

I squeezed his hand. “I believe you.”

Letting out a long breath, he kissed my temple before rising, gently tugging my elbow. I let him guide me upward.

I tried to etch the image of my family in my mind. During the tough times ahead of us, I had to hang on to one good thing. And my family was the best thing. Followed closely by Micah, who, among all this mess, was stealing my heart. I glanced at him. He already had stolen my heart with his rough face, his bad boy act, his caring side, his sweet touches, his hot kisses, and everything in between. My heart was his, even if he would never accept it.

I sighed. Even if he wanted to accept it, I knew there was no future for us. In a couple of months, I would die and he would forget I had ever existed. But for now, I wanted to enjoy these perfect moments.

With that in mind, I turned to Micah, stood on my tiptoes, and kissed him. A quick peck on his soft lips. “Thanks,” I whispered, pulling back.

Shock flashed on his face, before being replaced by that cocky smile of his. “Anything for you, darling.”

He entwined his fingers with mine, and we walked back through the portal.