Chapter Seven

 

JESSIE

 

My first week at work passes quickly and I’m feeling more comfortable in my new life in Danville. Waking up to my fist Saturday morning in my new townhouse feels like a blank canvas, stretching in my bed, I begin to make plans.

Maybe I’ll head to the grocery store and stock up for the week before cooking some of my favorites for myself. Tacos sound like a great idea, and I smile while brushing my teeth, determined to make them a reality.

Just then my phone rings. It’s my work cell, which I never use for personal calls, so I’m worried it could be an emergency. Captain McCall told me in a rare instance they may need me to come in on my weekend off, since we all rotate, but I wasn’t expecting to work my first weekend. Rushing across my bedroom, I grab the small phone from my nightstand.

“Hello,” I answer a bit out of breath after the mad dash not to miss the call.

“Jessie? Really?!” My hand moves to cover my eyes. The instant I recognize the voice I regret not checking the call ID first.

“Michael.” I say flatly, annoyed before the conversation has even ended.

“I can’t believe you could really have the gumptious to not even know you’ve made it or settled in. I saw your Facebook status saying you moved into your new place and really couldn’t believe you’d share that with the world before telling me.” He pauses as if I should begin some long, drawn out explanation, but I don’t have any to offer.

What’s more refreshing is that I don’t even feel the anxiety or nerves that used to accompany a conversation like this with Michael. Maybe it’s the separation, and knowing that he can’t just pop up at my house, or maybe I just don’t care anymore. Either way I’m empowered by his weakened power over me.

“Jessie? Are you there?” He asks after I fail to respond.

“Yep,” I answer perkily as I head to my kitchen to check the cabinets before jotting down what I’ll need from the grocery store.

“You don’t have anything to say?” He quips curtly.

“Yeah,” I say after considering something, and I hear a sigh of relief escape him. “How’d you get my phone number?” I question, twisting my face in confusion as if he can see me.

 

“What? Umm, what do you mean?” He answers, obviously caught off guard.

“I mean, I didn’t give you this phone number. How did you get it?” I reiterate, sensing his frustration.

“I called your mom and told her I needed to reach you for something important. Does it even matter?” He challenges.

“Yes, actually it does matter, Michael. What important matter do you have to discuss?” I ask rhetorically, sure there wasn’t any information to be shared.

“What do you mean?” He spits the words out.

“I mean, you just said you got my number under the pretenses that you needed to reach me for something important. What is the important reason that prompted you to call my mother?” I emphasize my last two words so that he’s undoubtedly sure how absurd I find his behavior.

“I just told you. I needed to know you were okay,” he says nastily.

“No, what you just told me is that you saw from a Facebook status that I was okay. You then called my mother, which is completely out of line, but also a great opportunity for you to ask and learn how well I’m doing. As a matter of fact, I’m sure she told you that, because if there had been any concern she would’ve mentioned your calling on one of our regular conversations.

“She didn’t mention it, because she must have known that you just wanted to waste my time, and she also didn’t want me to know that she had mistakenly given you my phone number knowing I wouldn’t want you to have it.” I can’t believe my boldness as I move from one room to the next, pulling on my favorite sundress before throwing my wallet and keys into a small cross body purse.

“Jessie… I… Jessie, I just wanted to check on you,” he mutters quietly.

“You know, Michael, maybe one day we will get to a place of friendship where we can check on each other, but we’re not there yet. And the way that you called and supposedly ‘check on me’, was rude. You blurted my name accusatorily before even saying hello. That’s not how you check on someone, that’s how you chastise. I’m not your child. I don’t need to check in with you or let you know when or if I arrive somewhere,” I explain while climbing into my Jeep.

“Jessie, I’m your --,” he stops himself and I smile. He’s been so lost in his arrogance that he often forgets he is not my anything anymore. I’ve been so insecure that I didn’t want to address it, but he’s just dumped it on the table for both of us to face.

“That’s right, Michael. You can’t even finish that sentence, because there is no end to that sentence anymore. We’re not anything to each other anymore, except maybe exes. I don’t have any obligation or even allegiance to you, and you don’t have any to me. Although I worried about it initially, I’d have to say I’ve done pretty well accepting the demotion in your life. I don’t expect you to report to me or share your life’s details. It would be more comfortable for me if you could do the same.”

Whoa. Did I just set a boundary with Michael? I think I did! Lindsay won’t be able to believe me when I tell her how courageous and confident I’ve been on this call. It’s long overdue, but I’m beaming with pride as I pull into the grocery store parking lot.

“I guess I just never wanted to be strangers,” Michael says after a long pause.

“What did you think would happen when you called off the wedding?” Tears begin to build at the back of my eyes. I’ve never spoken those words, not to Michael or anyone else.

I’ve pretended that our break-up was amicable, a joint decision, but it wasn’t. It was Michael’s decision and I’ve drowned in shame and embarrassment because of it. For weeks I bent over backwards thinking if I could just do or say the right thing then maybe he would change his mind, but now I was certain I didn’t want him to change, I wanted to change myself so that I’d never be that weak and desperate girl again.

“It was just happening so fast. I wanted us to maybe figure out what we were going to do after the wedding. You know how I felt about your career,” he responds.

“Michael, we broke up. We’re not a couple, and if we’re both honest I think we can admit that we were never friends. Calling off the wedding was a bold decision, which in the moment devastated me, but now I can appreciate what you did, for both of us. It would’ve never worked, and I’m at peace with that. You need to come to some sort of resolution on your end, because what we’re doing isn’t healthy.” I finish as an older couple walks in front of my Jeep, heading into the grocery store.

“I understand, Jessie. I really do. It sounds like you’re blossoming out there. I guess I was just afraid of you outgrowing me,” he somberly admits and I actually feel a pang in my heart for the rare glimpse of vulnerability from him.

“I think we both outgrew each other a while ago. Maybe we’re both just accepting that now,” I add softly.

“Yeah,” he takes a deep sigh.

“I’ll see you around,” I choose my words carefully, not wanting to commit to talking to him later. I don’t even know when I’ll be in LA next, so the probability of it coming to fruition is meek at best.

“I guess so,” he chuckles, my word choice not lost on him. After a pregnant pause I hang up first.

A single tear rolls down my cheek, but it isn’t accompanied by sadness or hurt, instead it’s a freedom tear. Relief rushes over me as I finally feel the closure I’d yearned for after our split. There was so much I needed to express, but the words always seemed to escape me at the most inopportune times.

Face to face Michael ran circles around me, with his wit and clever banter, but after escaping that mental and psychological dominance, I finally felt free to clear my mind and express myself without fear or doubt. Walking into the grocery store, I feel like a new woman, in my new city.

Because I’m still a bit shocked with myself, I call Lindsay to tell my best friend about my uncharacteristically bold persona that let Michael have it. She’s screaming with excitement as I recount the conversation out of order, recalling moments however they come to me as I walk through each aisle, throwing more than I planned to purchase in my cart.

The grocery store is of course the only one in Danville, but thankfully it’s rather large and stocked with everything I could imagine needing. After making my way through the aisles to pad my pantry, I head to the butcher stand at the back of the store and order a few cuts of beef in addition to two large chicken breasts.

I’ve just gotten off of the phone with Lindsay, and remembering some of her quirky responses of what she would’ve said to Michael are still making me giggle, she is so hilarious without even trying.

“What’s so funny?” I hear the low voice behind me and spin quickly although I’m already sure who it is.

“Daryl!” I smile when my eyes land on his handsome face. He hasn’t shaven today, and the five o’clock shadow suits him nicely. As always, he’s dressed in his casual uniform – a crisp white t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket, with distressed denim jeans and black boots to complete the look. Today he’s not wearing a hat, and his dark hair looks tousled, as if he’s been running his fingers through it all day.

“I heard you picked up Caroline,” he smirks in that bashful, yet confident way he does.

“I did,” I blush, a bit impressed and embarrassed that he remembered the name of my Jeep.

“I was hoping to be there when you came to pick it up,” he catches me off guard, because I wanted to see him too.

“Oh really?” I ask, deciding not to let him know I shared his sentiments, besides it was nice to meet his grandma.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you out,” he says casually, his gray eyes piercing through me. God, he’s handsome, and in that annoyingly unaware way. He doesn’t have that pretentious attitude that attractive people can sometimes embody, he’s more like me, yeah I happen to look appealing, but I don’t lean on it.

“Ask me out?” I repeat his words, a contagious grin quickly spreading across my face. I watch as Daryl flashes those pearly white teeth of his before biting his bottom lip to hide his grin.

 

“Yeah, we’re gonna go to the fair,” he says absentmindedly as he waves and nods to the butcher, placing his order without a word.

“Oh are we?” I quip, my hand on my hip in defiance.

“Well, that’s what I was gonna ask, if you wanted to come to the fair with me,” he clarifies, his eyes again trained on me. His undivided attention feels a bit intimidating, with his broad shoulders squared off, his head cocked to the side in anticipation of my response.

“That could be fun,” I openly flirt. There was no way I was going to that fair before Daryl asked, despite my partner’s insistence that I attend.

“So meet me at seven,” he shrugs before reaching for my hand, where I’m still holding my smartphone after ending my call with Lindsay.

His fingers gently cascade over my knuckles as he retrieves the phone and I feel the breath catch in my throat from the spark between us. Seemingly unbothered, he takes the phone and begins to tap the screen.

“What’s your password?” He asks with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Huh?” I ask confused, my brain still processing how much I enjoyed his rough touch.

“Your password?” He repeats, turning my phone to me so that I can see the prompt preventing him from accessing my phone.

“That’s a bit personal don’t you think?” I tease and he extends his hand, returning the phone for me to input the code privately.

“Zero-Four-Zero-Two,” I say without accepting the phone, our eyes locked on each other as he pulls the phone back, before looking down to input the code.

“Is that your birthday?” He asks, referring to my passcode, his attention still on my phone as he taps away on the screen.

“My mom’s,” I admit as he nods and hands me the phone back.

“I’m a Pisces too,” he winks and raises one eyebrow before glancing in my cart. “What are you making?” He asks.

“I was going to make tacos,” I reply, my body begin to itch from the nerves rushing through me. My thighs are pressing together as desire pools for him, and my underarms are sweating from the nerves I feel under his gaze.

His behavior is always so comfortable that it feels odd. He acts as if we know each other, or everything is just standard, while I flap away like a fish out of water through every interaction. He’s so cool and laid back and I’m so, not. And it’s only around him!

“I’ll get you tacos at the fair. Call me when you get there,” he says, watching me until I nod in agreement to his plan before moving to pass me, his hand grazing the small of my back as he passes me on his way to the butcher counter. The tall butcher, in his stained white apron, reaches across the glass counter, handing Daryl two packages wrapped tightly in white paper before returning to his work table.

“Seven,” Daryl reminds me as he passes by once more, this time not touching me at all and I instantly regret not placing myself more in his way so he’d have to move around me.

“I’ll see you then,” I assure him, as he moves through the aisle, raising his hand in a goodbye gesture as he walks away.

Embarrassingly, I watch him move through the store until he’s out of sight, before glancing around to make sure no one saw me gawking. Luckily it seems I’ve stared on in obscurity as he strolled out the store without even glancing back in my direction.