A searing bolt of pain shot through her gut. She stumbled and caught herself, nearly dropping the bag of pastries. She was late and Susie was waiting.

You’re jumping to conclusions. Lisa must have misunderstood. Cade isn’t married. He lives alone.

But her ingrained insecurities couldn’t let this drop.

She reached her car and threw the bag in the passenger seat. Her heart banged in her chest and her throat ached from choking back tears. If Cade was married or even separated, why didn’t he say something? As far as she knew, there’d never been a Mrs. Logan in residence. St. Helena was a small town. Everybody knew everyone else’s business.

She couldn’t wrap her head around this information, let alone Lisa’s hint that Cade might  know or even be the author. Because none of it made any sense. Cade was a mechanic. A former rodeo rider. He was soft-spoken and drop-dead gorgeous. He’d look good on a beach wearing Speedos and a Stetson. He didn’t have a kid. Could someone like that write heart-wrenching children’s stories?

Could someone like that know Katharine Quimby and not tell me?

Her head nearly burst. Too much to think about. She needed to pick up Susie, go home, and get her ready for Santa.

Breathe. Don’t think.

She drove the short distance to Second Street and pulled up in front of a modern rancher. Susie sat on the porch with her bestie, a red-headed sprite named Dori.

Dori’s mom opened the front door and waved as Susie got into the car.

Molly rolled her shoulders and forced herself to sound happy. “Hey Cupcake. Did you have a good time?”

“Dori has a big tree and Juniper, her kitty, jumped into it and two ornaments fell and Dori chased the kitty and she climbed the inside of the tree and Dori’s mom grabbed Juniper and all the ornaments shook and…”

“Hey. Take a breath.”

“But it was funny. I laughed and laughed. Can we get a kitty, please?”

“You can ask Santa for one this afternoon, but remember, Santa can’t fill all the wishes. His sleigh is too small. He might have to bring you something else.” She flinched when she remembered the last item on her daughter’s list.

“I’ve been very good,” she nodded. “I think he might bring one.”

Molly groaned and concentrated on her driving. She’d talk to her landlady first thing tomorrow. Maybe if she threw in a gift she’d relent.

The bag rustled. “Is this for me?”

“Yes, but not ‘til after lunch.”

She opened the bag and poked her nose inside. “Rolls and eclairs! I love eclairs. And something else.” She reached in and pulled out an apple turnover. “What’s this?”

She’d forgotten she was going to invite Cade over after the Santa visit. Molly’s throat tightened again and she swallowed several times. “It’s an apple turnover. We’ll wrap it in plastic  and eat it tomorrow.”

Tears threatened again, but she blinked them away and focused on her driving. Home was just two blocks away.  She had to put her own thoughts aside and concentrate on her little girl. This was her day, the day she got to meet Santa Claus.

Susie was unusually quiet when they arrived home, but bounded inside the house as Molly gathered her purse and tablet and the Bistro bag. A message pinged on her phone. It was Cade. “I’m having second thoughts about the story. Can we talk?”

Too bad.

She turned off her phone—something she’d never done since she’d become a reporter —and joined Susie in her bedroom.

“Can I wear my Hello Kitty jeans and my pink sweatshirt?”

“No honey. I want to take your picture with Santa to send to Grandma.” She reached in the closet and pulled out a red velveteen party dress with puffed sleeves and a quilted bodice.

Susie frowned. “It’s too tight.”

“It can’t be. We bought it two months ago.” Susie was growing too fast and Molly couldn’t keep up. “Try it on. Wear the dress for the picture then you can put on your Hello Kitty outfit.”

“I don’t want to. I need something warmer.”

“You’ll be warm enough in this.”

“I won’t.”

“Just do it,” she said sharply.

Damn.

She’d had a bad morning, but it wasn’t Susie’s fault. “Sorry. I’m a little out of sorts. I didn’t mean it to sound like a scold.”

Susie’s lip quivered. “Are you sick, Mommy?”

Molly took a deep breath and softened her tone. “No honey. Let’s try on the dress. If it’s too uncomfortable you can wear something else.” She hugged Susie and helped her into the party dress. She looked like a Christmas angel, but she was right. The dress was snug in the bodice and the waist and hard to button.

“You’re right, Cupcake. The dress is already too tight. How did you grow so much in two months?”

“Cookies?”

Molly laughed. The pink sweatshirt and pants would have to do. Grandma wouldn’t care.

She finished changing Susie’s clothes and let her wear her matching pink rubber boots.  A quick lunch of chicken noodle soup and they could go. The house phone rang as she put the soup in the bowls.  She let it go to message.

It was Cade again. “I’m coming into town. Will you be home or at the event at the park?”

She deleted it and put a big cotton dishtowel around Susie’s neck to avoid spills. “Eat your soup. I’ll be back in a minute.”

She turned on her cell phone and responded to Cade’s earlier message with a text. “I’m busy all day.”

Jumbled thoughts still swirled in her head. She wasn’t ready to face Cade. She needed to sort through her feelings, come to a few preliminary conclusions, and prepare a hundred burning questions needing answers.

Am I being unfair? Shouldn’t I talk to him first?

Maybe. But today was for Susie. She’d deal with Cade later.

“Eat up, Cupcake. Santa’s waiting.”

A half hour later they’d parked and joined the long line of parents and neatly-dressed children near City Hall. A display with a sleigh and nine reindeer was perched under a banner that said Welcome One and All. The place in the sleigh for Santa Claus was empty because he sat on a large red throne near the display, a young child dangling on his knee. Elves in green corduroy jumpsuits with pointed hats and felt slippers handed out candy canes.

When it was Susie’s turn, she strolled up to the stout Santa and climbed on his lap like she owned it. An elf told her to smile and she spread her mouth wide, the gap in her front teeth prominent. The photographer employed for the afternoon clicked away as Susie ran down her long list of requests. Molly shook her head. She couldn’t hear everything, but it certainly seemed like she covered all bases. Maybe she wouldn’t notice if a kitten wasn’t under the tree.

The scent of leather and spice wafted toward her as a deep, seductive voice whispered in her ear. “I figured I’d find you here when I found out what time Santa was making an appearance.”

She stiffened and stepped away. The hurt from this morning was still fresh and the rumor that he might be married was still flapping around in her brain.

“Anything wrong?” The concern on his face was almost her undoing. She didn’t want him to look like he cared.

She dropped her head and studied the blades of grass on the lawn. “Susie’s about finished. We have to go home.”

“Want to get coffee? Susie might like a hot chocolate after telling Santa her life story.”

“She’s talkative. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Didn’t say there was.”

She forced herself to look up at his face. The crowd in the park had thinned, but people still milled around within earshot. She didn’t care. She had to know.

“Do you know a woman named Jane Logan?” He flinched and averted his eyes.

“Yes.”

Damn. Damn. Damn. It’s true.

“She told Lisa in the bookstore she was your wife. Is that a true statement?”

His eyes hardened and he gazed at her like she was a stranger.

“Yes. It’s a true statement.”

“Quit being a parrot,” she snapped.

“You asked questions. I answered them.” His monotone didn’t match the anger reflected in his eyes.

Emotional pain crept into her throat. She looked away, not wanting him to see how badly he’d hurt her. She straightened her shoulders while anger spilled out of her.

“How could you? I was falling in….I was growing fond of you. All the while you were playing me for a fool. Was it fun? Did you think all you had to do was smile and I’d cave and jump into your bed?”

Several people were close enough to hear her reaction. Susie trotted toward her, her smile becoming wary as she stopped to inspect the reindeer at the head of the line.

The mulish expression on Cade’s face told her this was not going to be an easy conversation and it shouldn’t take place in a public setting.

His eyes hardened. “You actually believe I’d cheat on a wife? Hang out with you if I was married?”

She looked at the tall, muscled cowboy with his gorgeous face and remembered her aunt’s hurtful words when she was a teen-ager. Nobody who looked like him would have a serious interest in a woman like her.

Pain rose up and crushed her. Words wouldn’t come. She squeezed her eyes shut to blot out the incredulous look on his face.

Breathe. Breathe.

“I don’t know what to think, Cade. You said she was your wife.”

“Was is the operative word in this conversation, but you didn’t want to hear it, did you?”

His fists clenched at his sides and his chin thrust forward. “Janie was my wife. For eight years. We’ve been divorced for two.”

Divorced?

Her low self-esteem had refused to let her see the obvious. Oh, Lord, how was she going to fix this? She’d never seen Cade angry, but the set of his shoulders and his hard stare told her she’d messed up big time.

“I…I didn’t think…”

“No. You didn’t. I‘d started to care about you, Molly, and being interested in a woman—especially one with a kid—was especially hard. I have a tough time relating to kids, especially little girls, for reasons I don’t want to go into. But you’ve made this easy. If you thought so little of me, maybe we should step back and rethink this relationship.”

He strode toward the street.

“Wait.”

He kept walking. She turned back to see Susie, a troubled expression on her face. Forcing a smile, she leaned down and brought her arms around her daughter. “Hey, let’s go home and finish off those eclairs.”

“Is Mr. Cade mad at us?”

“No honey. He’s busy today.”

Susie nodded, her six-year-old face solemn. They linked hands and headed for the car.