Friday 24th November
Becca’s insides were hurting from trying not to laugh. Or was it cry? It was hard to tell. Her tappers were wearing their costumes for the showcase. White trousers and waistcoats for the women, white trousers and jacket for Nick. They had on white trilby hats with a black trim and matching neckerchief. In theory, they should have looked smart and stylish. Unfortunately, Miriam’s bust was too big for the waistcoat. Cassie’s trousers were two inches too short. Mi-Sun’s trousers were too long and Nick’s were too wide. Only Wanda’s costume fitted perfectly. Funny that.
With only twenty-four hours until curtain up there wasn’t much Becca could do – other than hope her mum was up for a spot of late-night sewing.
They were in the theatre running through the routine. Far from adding the finishing touches to a polished routine, her tappers looked like petrified wildebeest being chased by lions.
‘Don’t change direction!’ she bellowed, struggling to be heard over One Republic’s ‘Counting Stars’. ‘You should’ve split into two lines by now!’
Mi-Sun turned and got caught in the glitter curtain, knocking her hat off. When she bent down to pick it up she bumped into Nick, who lost his footing and bumped into Cassie. They were like dancing dominoes.
‘Pick it up, guys! Spread out, you’re too close together.’ They moved apart. ‘That’s it… That’s far enough… Stop… STOP!’
Too late. Miriam disappeared off the side of the stage.
Everyone rushed over to check she was okay.
A beat later, Miriam’s face appeared, minus her hat. She climbed onto the stage, banging heads with Wanda who’d tried to help. They bounced apart, both rubbing their foreheads.
Becca rubbed her own forehead…for an entirely different reason. ‘Cut the music,’ she yelled, miming a slicing movement across her throat.
The student running the sound cues killed the music.
Removing her headset, Becca moved through the auditorium and onto the stage, trying not to panic. Her tappers were suffering from a severe case of pre-show jitters.
‘It’s a disaster,’ Wanda said, still rubbing her head.
‘We’re not ready.’ Cassie looked close to tears. ‘We’re a laughing stock.’
Nick and Mi-Sun nodded in agreement.
‘It’s not a disaster,’ Becca assured them. ‘It’s live theatre. These things happen.’
‘I fell off the stage!’ Miriam pointed to the dirty smudge on her white trousers.
‘So act like you meant to do it.’ Becca knew they were past the point of responding to critique. All she could do was try and boost their confidence and hope a pep talk calmed their nerves. ‘It’s like when you’re walking down the street and you trip up the kerb. Ten minutes later, you’ll have forgotten all about it.’
‘It’s hardly the same thing.’ Miriam sounded morose.
Cassie fiddled with the waistband of her too-short trousers. ‘We keep messing up.’
‘We don’t want to let you down,’ Nick said. ‘We know you’ve got a lot riding on tomorrow.’
Becca’s heart pinched. Oh, bless them.
‘We’ve been practising at Miriam’s house,’ Mi-Sun said. ‘We wanted you to be proud of us.’
Becca hadn’t realised they’d been putting in extra rehearsals. She had to fight back tears. They weren’t natural dancers, and yet they’d supported her transition from failed dancer to inexperienced teacher with good humour. She owed them big time. They hadn’t dumped her when she’d messed up. And she wasn’t about to do the same to them.
‘I’m so proud of you,’ she said, meaning it. ‘You’re doing something new and pushing yourselves out of your comfort zones. Two months ago, some of you had never danced before. Now look at you! Performing a complex routine at a showcase. It’s amazing.’
Miriam brushed dirt from her backside. ‘But it’s not perfect.’
Becca looked at their five worried faces. ‘I’ll let you into a secret. There’s no such thing as a perfect performance. There’ll always be something you’re not happy with. During my career I made mistakes. I fell over, hit scenery and bumped into other dancers. I’ve never met a dancer who hasn’t made a mistake. At the time, it seems like a great tragedy, but you soon learn that it doesn’t matter. The key is to get up, carry on, and finish the show.’
‘I’m so nervous,’ Cassie said, wringing her hands together. ‘I’m physically shaking…look.’ She held out her vibrating hand.
‘Me too.’ Nick’s hand was equally wobbly.
‘Nerves are healthy,’ Becca said, warming to her subject. ‘Everyone gets nervous. Once you’re onstage the nerves will switch to adrenaline. And you’re not doing this alone. You’re part of a team and that sense of togetherness will keep you focused.’
They looked doubtful.
‘I’d be worried if you weren’t nervous. Being nervous means you care about getting it right. Over time you’ll learn how to deal with nerves. Some people jump up and down, or have a bit of fun and make jokes. Others meditate in a quiet corner. Whatever works for you.
‘Feeling nervous prior to a performance will never go away. But being nervous and lacking confidence are two entirely different things. You’re doubting yourselves and questioning whether you can do this. I promise you, you can.’ As Becca was suffering from the exact same condition, she wondered if it was time to listen to her own advice.
She moved around the group, trying to reassure them. ‘You all know the routine. I’ve seen you do it. You’ve rehearsed and prepared. You’re ready to perform. Don’t let being nervous undermine your confidence. You can do this. And you will be wonderful. Okay?’
They gave half-hearted nods.
Becca’s hands went to her hips. ‘Well, that wasn’t very convincing. Let’s try again. Can we do this?’
They nodded with a little more conviction. ‘Yes.’
‘Good.’ She gave them all a hug. It was out of her hands now. All she could do was pray the routine wasn’t a complete disaster…and that no one else fell off the stage. ‘See you all tomorrow,’ she said, waving them off. ‘Ten a.m. sharp for a dress run, okay?’
Chatting away, they packed up, still nervous about performing, but determined to try their best.
When the theatre had cleared, she locked up and went in search of Jodi. Along with Eddie and Leon, the three of them had been working flat out all week to ensure everything was ready for tomorrow.
Becca had been secretly relieved Tom’s time had been taken up juggling court hearings and organising the showcase. It meant she hadn’t had to talk to him about what had happened last Saturday.
As for her cousin, she wanted to check Jodi was okay and wasn’t being abused by the terrible twosome, whose commitment to the showcase was non-existent.
She found her cousin in reception wearing jeans and a T-shirt, a sweatshirt tied around her middle. Her hands were filthy.
Becca frowned. ‘Everything okay?’
Jodi shook her head. ‘Not really. One of the men’s loos is blocked and Elaine’s flight has been delayed. It’s touch and go whether she’ll be back in time for the showcase. The pottery exhibition is one of our main attractions.’
Becca’s heart sank. ‘Isn’t there anyone else who could oversee the exhibition?’
Jodi shook her head. ‘She says not, but she’s going to update me when she knows more.’
‘Well, let’s hope she makes it back in time. What about the loo? Do we need to call a plumber?’
‘Eddie’s gone to find a plunger. But if we can’t clear it ourselves, we might have to.’ Jodi’s expression indicated unblocking a loo wasn’t high on her list of enjoyable pastimes.
They’d be hard pushed to get a plumber out this late. Not to mention the additional expense.
Jodi rested her hands on her knees. ‘This better be worth it.’
Becca rubbed her back. ‘Of course, it will be. The council are going to be blown away by the showcase. Carolyn will return to find the playhouse thriving, and you’re going to finally receive the credit you deserve.’
Becca was subjected to an incredulous look.
‘Okay, so it’s wishful thinking, but a girl can hope.’
Jodi straightened. ‘I appreciate the pep talk, but I’m not naive enough to believe I have a future here. My contract ends soon. And even if we manage to win over the council, the situation with Vivienne and Petrit is unbearable. They want me gone.’
Becca frowned. ‘We can’t let them succeed. When Carolyn returns, Tom will tell her what they’ve been up to and she’ll take action.’
Jodi didn’t look convinced. ‘Carolyn will be far too focused on her recovery to bother with petty staff issues. And she shouldn’t have to.’ She stretched out her back. ‘I’ve loved working here, despite the terrible twosome, and getting to hang out with you has been a dream. I’ve even managed to win over Tom, but it’s not enough.’
The mention of Tom caused a surge within Becca.
Jodi shrugged. ‘The best I can hope for is a successful showcase. The council letting Carolyn keep the grant and a decent reference. Maybe now I’ve got some office experience, another employer will be willing to take me on.’
Becca hugged her cousin. ‘God, I hope so.’
Leon appeared, breaking the moment. His dark eyes darted between the hugging cousins. ‘Sorry for interrupting. We’ve finished cordoning off the car park.’
Jodi tucked a loose strand of hair into her ponytail. ‘Thanks for letting me know.’
He took in her dishevelled state. ‘Anything else you need doing before I head off?’
Jodi shook her head. ‘We’re good, thanks.’
He hesitated before walking off. ‘See you tomorrow then.’
He’d almost reached the door, when Jodi called after him. ‘Leon?’ She went over. ‘Thanks for everything you’ve done this week. We couldn’t have done it without you.’
There was a long drawn-out moment where neither one moved. Becca was tempted to make a discreet exit, but the moment was broken when Leon said, ‘No worries. Anything for Carolyn,’ and walked out the door.
Jodi’s shoulders slumped.
Becca went over and hugged her.
‘Well, that told me,’ her cousin said, with a self-deprecating laugh. ‘He hates me.’
‘No, he doesn’t. And don’t be quick to assume the worst. Leon cares more than he’s letting on.’
Jodi broke the hug. ‘He cares about the playhouse, sure. Carolyn too. Every day he continues to be sweet and kind and funny…just not with me. Not that I can blame him. Decent blokes like Leon didn’t want trouble. And they certainly don’t want a woman with a criminal past.’
‘You need to stop thinking like that. There’s so much more to you than that.’
‘Leon doesn’t seem to think so.’
‘Then more fool him.’ Becca turned Jodi to face her. ‘Mum and I were talking last night about how we both need to move on with our lives.’
‘That’s what I’m trying to do.’
‘I know, but you also keep justifying people who treat you badly. Like somehow you deserve it. Well, you don’t. Mum needs to find the courage to start living again. I need to build a life after dance, and you need to forgive yourself for messing up when you were a kid. You’re a good person, Jodi. The best I know.’ She kissed her cousin’s cheek. ‘It’s time for us to let go of the past. Okay?’
Jodi nodded. ‘I’ll try.’
‘Good.’
Eddie appeared in reception armed with a plunger. ‘Look what I found.’ He stopped when he saw tears running down Jodi’s face. ‘What happened?’
Becca gave her cousin a squeeze. ‘She’s tired. It’s been a long week.’
Eddie came over. ‘Why don’t you head home, love.’
‘There’s too much to do—’
‘I’ll sort out the blocked loo,’ he said cutting Jodi off. ‘And there’s nothing we can do about the Elaine situation until we know about her flight. She’ll either be here, or she won’t. It’s out of our hands. Go home and get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning.’
Jodi half-smiled. ‘Am I allowed to wash my hands first?’
Eddie smiled. ‘Of course.’
Becca could’ve kissed Eddie. ‘While you’re washing up, I’m going to fetch some ice from the kitchen. Then we can head home together. Okay?’
Jodi nodded and headed off to the ladies’.
‘Thanks for that, Eddie. She wouldn’t listen to me.’
‘No problem,’ he said, heading off to fix the loo. ‘See you back at the guest house later.’
Becca went into the kitchen. When she’d run through her routine again tonight, she’d been able to push a little harder, which was a good sign. Her movement had felt a lot freer. The bad news was that her knee was now stinging like crazy.
She wrapped some ice in a tea towel and backtracked into the café, where she sat down to wait for Jodi, balancing the ice pack on her knee.
A door slammed somewhere in the distance.
She heard Tom’s voice before she saw him. ‘Here you are,’ he said. ‘You’ve been avoiding me.’
She supposed their paths had to cross at some point.
He sat next to her, looking relaxed and happy. He obviously hadn’t bumped into his father last night. No way would he be in such a good mood if he had. He probably didn’t even know Harvey had been here. She wasn’t about to enlighten him.
‘Good news,’ he said. ‘I have the programmes for the showcase.’ He handed her one, his fingers brushing against hers. ‘Don’t they look great?’
She ignored the flutter in her belly his touch created. She needed to stay strong. If she had doubts about getting too close to him before last night, her row with Harvey had cemented her decision. She refused to be treated as an embarrassment.
She studied the front of the programme. The image depicted the Starlight Playhouse at twilight. The building was bathed in moonlight and surrounded by stars. It was beautiful. Under the main heading was the caption ‘Starring professional dancer Becca Roberts’.
She handed the programme back to him.
‘Don’t you want to look inside?’ He flicked through the pages showing her the colourful contents and exhibitor adverts.
She had to admit the programme looked good. Where had he got the money to pay for them?
He spotted the ice pack on her leg. ‘How’s your knee? Will you be able to dance tomorrow?’
She glared at him. ‘Is that all you’re worried about? Whether I’ll be able to dance?’
He frowned. ‘I’m not following.’
She took a breath. ‘The last time I saw you Tom, you had your arms around your girlfriend.’
‘Ex-girlfriend,’ he said, his smile long gone. ‘And I didn’t have my arms around her, she had them around me.’
‘Same thing.’
‘No, it’s not.’ He dragged his chair closer. ‘She turned up here uninvited. I had no idea she was coming.’
Becca held his gaze. ‘So she didn’t stay the night?’
He paused.
Just as she’d thought. And to think, last night she’d defended his behaviour to his father. ‘You know what, it’s none of my business.’
‘Don’t say that. It is your business, but there’s nothing going on with Izzy.’ His expression was pleading. ‘I promise you.’
‘It didn’t look that way.’
‘That’s because…’ he paused, closing his eyes briefly ‘…she’s struggling to adjust. But I swear on my life it’s over between us.’
She shrugged. ‘It doesn’t matter. Carolyn will be home from rehab soon and you can return to London. We’ll never have to see each other again.’
He looked stung. ‘That’s not what I want.’
‘It’s for the best—’
‘No, it’s not.’ He touched her arm. ‘I’m not going back to London. That’s why I’ve been so busy this week – I’ve been looking at premises.’
She shrugged away from his touch.
‘I’m going to set up a practice in Brighton and switch to family law.’
If he was expecting a fanfare, he’d be disappointed.
He searched her face. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’
‘Why? It’s nothing to do with me.’ She rubbed her chest. She had a pain to rival the throb in her knee.
‘Are you kidding me? What about last Saturday night?’
She shrugged. ‘What about it? We got a little carried away. It happens. It was a kiss, nothing more. Not a reason to relocate.’
‘Why are you being like this? We reconnected, you know we did. Don’t try and deny it.’ His confusion was palpable. ‘So this is what…cold feet? Jealousy that my ex showed up? What? Because I don’t understand.’
He never would, and that was the problem. She couldn’t deny falling for him again. It would be pointless even trying, but that wasn’t the issue. They were skirting around the elephant in the room.
She turned to him. ‘Look at it from my perspective. A beautiful woman shows up here at one a.m. in the morning and calls you darling. She reacts badly when she discovers us fooling around on the floor and makes it obvious she wants me gone. And then she stays the night.’
He closed his eyes. ‘I know how it looks. And you’re right.’ He opened his eyes. ‘All the evidence points to us still being an item. But you have to believe me, we broke up ages ago. I’m not with Izzy anymore.’
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. ‘I believe you.’
‘You do? Then what’s the problem?’
It was time to address the elephant. ‘Twelve years ago, you didn’t do the same for me.’
He tilted his head to one side. ‘I’m not following.’
‘When presented with hearsay and gossip, you believed me capable of theft. You assumed the worst. You didn’t give me the chance to explain. You allowed your father to shame me and my family. No email, no text, no phone call. Nothing. You just walked away.’ A fact that hurt more now she knew even her dad hadn’t believed her guilty.
His cheeks coloured. ‘But you’d confessed to the crime. You were caught red-handed, arrested and cautioned. What was there to explain?’
Sadness filled her heart. ‘And that is why we will never be together again.’
Jodi appeared from the loos. Her expression turned wary when she realised what they were discussing. ‘Ready to go?’
Becca struggled to her feet. ‘Definitely.’
And with that, she hobbled away, leaving Tom shaking his head in bewilderment.