Chapter One

 

 

 

 

 

Kelly

 

 

 

 

 

I knew I was smiling. That satisfied smirk wouldn’t have left my lips if I’d tried. My whole body was relaxed from head to toe and the afterglow of pleasure still burned low in my stomach. When I’d showed up at his door an hour before, ready to air my doubts that this was long-term and actually going anywhere, he’d tugged me in and ravished my body in the most amazing way. Those doubts had been pushed to the backburner. The sex, while not the best I’d ever experienced, had the ability to melt my mind. That smile was on my face was one that only a good orgasm could create.

I shifted so my chin was on his bare chest and smiled up at him.

“I have to go.”

He returned the smile easily and pushed some of my hair off of my face. “I don’t want you to.”

I stretched so I could press my lips to his and he deepened the kiss instantly, rolling us so he was hovered over me. Even though we’d just finished having sex, he wanted me again and I certainly didn’t mind.

The text alert going off on my phone told me we didn’t have time, though, and I pushed on his chest lightly. He pulled his mouth from mine with a long sigh and reluctantly moved to his knees. His light blue eyes gleamed with satisfaction and the short blonde hair on top of his head was slightly mussed. Devin Scott was cute in the boy next door way, very typical in the type of men I usually dated.

We’d met at a New Year’s Eve party I’d gone to with my sister. The young anesthesiologist had asked me to dance and we’d ended up spending the rest of the night together. He’d just moved to Nevada from California and was working at the local hospital. I’d been impressed by the fact that he was professionally successful and yet still humble. It also helped that he doted on me almost immediately, making me feel like a priority despite having a busy schedule. We were missing chemistry and passion, though, and it hadn’t appeared no matter how hard I’d tried to force it to.

“Fine. I’ll let you go for now but only with the promise that I get to see you tonight after you’re done at your mom and dad’s.”

I sat up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before rolling out of the bed. “Deal.”

Devin was redressed before me and he disappeared into the kitchen of his small apartment to get us something to drink. I finished pulling the clothes on that I’d arrived in and went into the bathroom to splash my face with water. I stared at my reflection for a second as I pulled my long, light brown hair into a ponytail.

I looked happy, satisfied even. I needed to give my relationship with Devin a bit more time. Yeah, so it’d been almost six months and I still wasn’t in love with him. Maybe my expectations for that love were too high, though. The minute I had that thought, my would-be brother’s voice entered my mind.

“You should never settle for less than amazing.”      

Easy for him to say. He had a storybook romance with one of the greatest people I knew. Not everyone was lucky enough to have a love like that fall into their laps.

Loud voices coming from the living room caught my attention and I slipped my feet into my shoes before walking out to see what the commotion was. Devin’s apartment was tiny and he lived alone, so I was confused when I found him toe to toe with an obviously angry woman.

She caught sight of me and gestured wildly with her hands, her face a brilliant shade of red. “Who the fuck is she?”

Devin looked over his shoulder and caught my eyes, a look of shame on his face as he raked a hand through his short hair. It felt like a boulder had suddenly taken residence in my gut.

“I can’t believe this. How long has this been going on? Is she why you didn’t come home for Ariel’s birthday? Or when I was sick?”

Devin didn’t reply as he stared at his toes with his hands on his hips and I felt like I was going to throw up. When I caught sight of the shiny ring on her left hand, I closed my eyes and swallowed the bile.

“You’re married?” My voice was quiet but they both looked at me and the woman scoffed.

“Like you didn’t know.”

I shook my head quickly and offered her my most apologetic look. “I swear to you, I had no idea.” I turned my gaze on Devin and willed myself not to cry. “You bastard. I can’t believe you.”

“Kelly,” Devin started quietly and I shook my head frantically.

“Don’t say my name. Ever again.” I grabbed my purse from where I’d thrown it on the couch when I’d arrived an hour before. “You’re married and you have a kid at home…”

“Two,” his wife interrupted, some of the malice gone from her voice. “We have two kids.”

“Oh, God. Two kids at home. You are a horrible human being.” I turned to his wife and stared at her for a moment. She was beautiful but tired and I couldn’t even imagine. She was obviously taking care of two kids on her own while her husband stuck his dick into other woman and skirted his responsibilities. “I really am sorry. If I’d have known I wouldn’t have… I’m just sorry.”

And with that, I fled the tiny apartment.

The tears started to flow once I was back in my car and I rest my head against the steering wheel as I sobbed. I wasn’t even sad about losing Devin because, hey, hadn’t I come over to maybe break up with him anyway? The betrayal stung, though, and brought back every other instance where something similar had happened.

Finding Rob, my high school boyfriend, having sex with Darby in the bathroom.

Coming home to realize that Byron, the man I’d spent several of my college years with, had left and stolen most of my electronics.

Mason’s face when he told me he didn’t love me the night before our wedding just a few years before.

It just proved that I was wrong. Again.

I sat there crying for a few minutes before straightening up and doing what any rational, twenty-six year old adult would do.

I called my big sister.

She answered after just two rings, her voice happy as she did. “Hey, Kel.”

“Megan,” I whispered and I heard her shush whoever was talking to her.

“Kelly? What’s wrong?”

I wiped my nose on the back of my hand and fought against crying again. “He’s married.”

“What?” Megan asked with confusion in her voice. “Who’s married? Wait. Devin’s married?”

“Devin’s married?” I heard Megan’s boyfriend in the background and he sounded angry. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Si, stop. Where are you, Kelly?”

“The parking lot of his apartment complex,” I sniffled pathetically.

“Do you want me to come get you?” My sister’s voice was soft but I could hear the underlying anger in it. “I can be there in ten minutes.”

“I’m going to fucking go and kill that guy.” Simon’s anger, unlike Megan’s, was completely obvious and a tiny smile hit my lips.

“Simon,” Megan hissed. “Do you want me to come, Kel?”

I shook my head and put my key into the ignition. “I'm leaving now. Are you home?”

“Yeah, babe, I’m home. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay,” I said quietly as I pulled out of the parking lot. “I’ll be there soon.”

I ended the call and headed in the direction of the apartment I shared with my sister. As I drove, I racked my mind for signs that Devin had been married. How was it that I’d been dating him for six months and I had no idea? The more I thought about it, the more it made sense, though. The trips he had to take back to Los Angeles almost every other weekend. The calls he’d step out of the room for. How he freaked out when I tried to add a picture of us to social media.

I was a fucking idiot. I knew that he’d moved to New Hope from Los Angeles and I’d believed him when he said that he still did work for the hospital there when they needed him. I just assumed that him stepping out of the room was to protect patient confidentiality. And the social media thing, well, some people were just weird about that.

“How naïve can you get, Kelly?” I muttered to myself as I pulled into my parking spot near the apartment I shared with Megan and Simon.

I stared at the window to the building in front of me, the same window that looked into our living room. If the blinds were open, I’d probably see my older sister and her boyfriend cuddling on the couch right that moment.

They’d met almost exactly a year before and had some turbulence as they tried to figure out what their relationship was. Even once they hit smooth sailing, they ran into some trouble months later when he made a rash and stupid decision that he felt was in her best interest. They’d been back together for about two months, though, and they seemed stronger than ever. I was just waiting for Simon to ask her to marry him. He’d once promised me that he’d tell me before he did it.

I was happy for them. I really was. Megan was my best friend in the whole world and her being happy was one of my biggest desires. Simon was like a brother to me and he loved my sister the way she deserved to be loved. That love was hard to witness sometimes, though. With Devin in my life, it had been much more tolerable because I had thought I was on the road to that love, too.

But I was wrong.

Again.

After so many bad relationships, I needed to look at the common factor. Me. There was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t destined to find that great love.

I finally turned off my car and stepped out into the oppressive late May heat that had engulfed Southern Nevada. I grabbed my purse from the car and trudged up the pathway to the front door. I’d barely pushed it open before my sister was in front of me and pulling me into her arms. The tears came again and she led me to the couch where I cried in her embrace for a long time.

She ran her hands through my hair long after my tears had stopped and it was completely silent in our living room as I laid with my head in her lap. I felt so stupid. I wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.

“You are one of my most favorite people on this planet,” Megan murmured quietly, as if she could hear my self-deprecating thoughts. “I love you so much, Kel.”

I wiped the fresh tears that fell from my face as I shook my head. “I don’t understand. What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Megan’s reply was quick and her voice was firm. “I might be the big sister but I look up to you, Kelly. You’ve always carried yourself with so much confidence and even more grace. You’ve always been beautiful and kind. You are the woman I aspire to be. You haven’t found the one yet, but so what? When he comes, he will have been worth the wait. I promise.”

I didn’t reply but she didn’t expect me to. We sat in silence for a bit longer and I heard her bedroom door open. Simon’s soft footsteps could be heard as he walked across the living room and my legs lifted from where they were at the end of the couch when he sat down. He dropped my ankles back in his lap and squeezed them with his big hands, offering his silent support.

“You guys should go ahead and go to Mom and Dad’s,” I mumbled quietly as I gripped Megan’s knee. I could feel my sister shaking her head but I kept talking. “Mom’s probably cooked all day, Gan. Go. I’ll be okay here by myself.”

I loved going to my parents’ home for dinner but I felt humiliated. I didn’t want to talk about Devin or how stupid I was. I was just happy I’d never taken the time to introduce him to my parents.

My sister didn’t respond and I knew she was having a silent conversation with Simon. After about five minutes, she let out a long sigh and her lips pressed to my temple.

“I’m only going to go because you’re right about Mom.”

I sat up and rubbed my eyes with my fist. “Good. I’m going to go shower. I feel dirty.”

Megan wrapped me in a hug so tight that I couldn’t breathe and it took her a moment to release me. “I love you, Kel.”

“I love you, too, Kelly,” Simon said as he pulled me into his arms in a much gentler hug. “You’re amazing. Never forget that.”

I nodded when he released me and I offered them both a smile. “I love you both. Thanks for being here. Be careful going out to the house.”

I waved to them one more time before heading into one of the two master bedrooms in our apartment. Mine was on one side and Megan’s on the other. It was ideal because we each got a good sized bedroom, our own bathroom, and privacy.

The shower made me feel more human and less scummy once I had washed Devin off of my body. The more I scrubbed my skin, the more I realized that he wasn’t as great as I fooled myself into thinking. The sex was good, although I’d had better, but he was a terrible kisser. Five hours ago, I had resigned myself to be with a man who kissed like an octopus because I felt like I hadn’t given the relationship enough of a chance.

Huh.

My skin was pink from being scrubbed almost raw by the time I turned off the water. I wrapped myself in my soft bathrobe and brushed my teeth twice before walking back into my bedroom. I grabbed my phone off of my bed and saw that I had a missed call from Nick. I didn’t feel like talking, though, so I dropped my phone back to the bed with a sigh.

I needed to do something. Anything. I pulled on a pink sports bra and a pair of grey shorts and had just grabbed my sneakers when someone knocked on the door. My sister’s dog, Simba, barked immediately and I dropped my shoes near the kitchen table. I took a breath before I looked through the peephole, afraid that I’d see Devin out there, but a man who made my heart skip was.

I pulled open the door and a genuine smile hit my lips. “Nicky.”

“Hey, hot stuff.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Since you’re not going to dinner, I brought dinner to you.” He held up a take-out bag from my favorite restaurant, Veg Out, and grinned.

“Simon told you?” I asked softly as I stood back to let him in. Nick nodded and walked towards the kitchen.

“I’m going to kill that fucker.”

I let out a long sigh as I followed him. “I was planning on breaking up with him anyway. He’s not worth the negative energy.”

He turned around and gave me a hard look. It did nothing to distract from how handsome he was.

Nick Christos had a classic Greek look to him. His brown hair was so dark on his head that it could have been mistaken for black and it was forever styled in a flippant way. He always had the matching stubble on his chin, cheeks, and upper lip that said he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. Nick’s carefree smile made him look so young and so happy and he constantly had a twinkle in his deep brown eyes. His face might have been boyish at times but his body was anything but. He was easily over six-feet-tall, about nine or ten inches taller than my five-foot-five and his body was firm from keeping himself in firefighter shape.

Nick was hot.

“No one hurts you and gets away with it, Kel,” he said quietly as he pulled food out of the bag. “I got you that roasted cauliflower and pesto dish you ordered last time. You seemed to like it.”

“Seriously?” I stared at him in disbelief and he glanced at me with furrowed brows.

“Not okay?”

Nick wasn’t a fan of Veg Out. The fact that he’d gone out of his way to get it for me was huge. And then he’d remembered the dish I’d ordered the last time we went. A gesture like that might seem simple but it instantly made my day better.

I didn’t reply as I walked up to wrap my arms around him from behind and pressed my cheek to his back. Nick’s hands covered my own on his stomach and we stood like that for a moment. He smelled good, like a mixture of mint and the cologne he always wore, with an undertone of smoke.

“Thanks, Nicky.”

When I finally released him, I grabbed some plates down for us and we transferred food to them before heading out to the living room. I sat on the couch and Nick took the cushion immediately next to me. I turned on the TV and we watched a Law and Order episode that happened to be on while we ate quietly.

Once our plates were empty and on the coffee table, Nick dropped his arm over my shoulders and I cuddled up to his chest. It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t awkward, it was just what Nick and I did.

I’d met Nick Christos almost a year before when Megan and Simon had just started dating. Nick and Simon were both firefighters for the New Hope Fire Department and I’d been attracted to him instantly. Apparently, he’d felt the same way because he’d asked Simon for my number.

The only problem with the idea of Nick and me was that Nick wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship and I wasn’t interested in a hook up. We’d slept together a couple of times but stopped when we realized that we both had different relationship goals and decided to remain friends. Nick had become the closest friend I had besides Megan. I knew I could count on him for anything and the same was true in reverse.

I’d also spent a lot of time wishing he wanted something permanent. I may have been blind when it came to relationships but I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could change him. If he didn’t want something long-term, I wasn’t going to be the girl who tried to sway that decision. I eventually stopped wishing and accepted things as they were. Even though I’d originally wanted more, having Nick as my friend was life changing and our friendship was invaluable.

“The grandma did it,” Nick said quietly as he stared at the TV.

I scoffed and shook my head. “No way. It was the neighbor.”

“That’s what they want you to think, Kel.” He squeezed my bare shoulder. “Watch.”

It was the last two minutes of the episode when the killer was revealed and I groaned as Nick let out a triumphant cheer.

“We should have bet on it. You could totally be giving me a foot rub right now.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed off of him. “You’re ridiculous.” I moved to my feet and didn’t miss the way Nick’s eyes looked my body up and down. “Want to go to the gym with me?”

“Cardio or weights?”

“I don’t care.” I held out my hand to help him up but he only tugged me back down to his chest instead.

“I know a different workout we can do, Gold.” He wiggled his eyebrows and I just smiled as I raised my own at him. He finally sighed and nodded. “I have my backpack in the car. Let’s go.”