CHAPTER NINETEEN
Chase took me out on the dance floor and wrapped my arms around his neck. He slid his hands around my waist, squeezing me gently as he did so. I took advantage of the situation, pressing myself tightly against him as we swayed to the music.
He didn’t seem to mind.
His mouth stirred the hair next to my ear, and the sensation on my earlobe nearly made my eyes roll to the back of my head. “Do you know,” he murmured, a dark roughness edging his voice as he spoke, “that you’re the most beautiful woman in here?”
As if. “I thought we were going to tell each other only the truth.” It was somehow easier to talk to him when our eyes didn’t meet.
“That is the truth.” I felt his lips brush against the top of my ear, and my stomach did flips as my knees went hollow.
I struggled to speak. “You, uh, probably shouldn’t say that in front of Austin or Marisol.”
“If they ask, I’m not going to lie.” One of his hands slid up to the top of my back, and he held me close against his chest.
Feeling inspired by his declaration, I said, “The actual truth is that you’re the most handsome man here.”
“Even better than James Cruz?”
His touch, his voice, mesmerized me, putting me into a foggy haze. The name James Cruz sounded familiar, but I was having a hard time remembering who he was. “He’s the short, dark-haired one who looks like a jerk, right?”
Chase’s hands pressed into me as he chuckled. “You could have pretended you didn’t know who I was talking about.”
I didn’t. The only man I saw was Chase.
Right then, right there, I had to know if he felt the way I did. “Are you attracted to me?”
“What?”
I was afraid, so I’d said the words too softly. I cleared my throat. “Are you attracted to me?”
He went completely still but said nothing.
Oh no, I’d done it. I’d ruined everything. I couldn’t have just waited to see where things went. No, I had to have explanations and definitions, and now I’d freaked him out. “I get it if you just want to be friends. That’s fine. I just don’t have very much experience with things like this. I haven’t dated all that much. No, I’ve dated a lot, just not the same person more than a few times. So I’m not an expert and . . .”
Just shut up, my brain told me. Shut up!
Without a word, Chase took me by the wrist and led me into the mansion, away from the dance floor and the other guests. He walked so quickly that I almost tripped a couple of times in my stupid high heels. He took me upstairs, and I ignored the people giving us a mixture of strange and knowing looks.
He pulled me into a slightly darkened room, stopping to close the door behind us. Then in one smooth and sure motion, he whirled me around and pressed my back against the door. He stood directly in front of me, almost as close as we’d been just a few minutes earlier on the dance floor. He put his hands on either side of my head, pinning me into place. He looked angry, and though I probably should have felt a bit worried, it was strangely thrilling instead.
“Why would you think I’m not attracted to you?” His voice sounded deeper, rougher.
My heart pounded so hard I could barely breathe. “You . . . you don’t act like it. You’ve never even tried to kiss me.”
I saw his Adam’s apple bob slowly, and he stayed silent, not moving, not speaking. When he finally did say something, I almost jumped out of my oversensitized skin. “Do you know what I want to do right now?”
His voice had a rawness to it, a rasp I didn’t recognize.
“What?”
“What I want is to lock this door. I want to tear this very nice dress off you. I want to throw you on that bed, and I want, more than I have ever wanted anything, to spend the rest of the night showing you over and over just how attracted I am to you.”
Heat bloomed in my chest, and my lower abdomen tightened at his words. “Oh.”
The right side of his mouth pulled up in a rueful half smirk. “But I can’t. Because I like you and care about you, and I respect you. And your decisions. Even if I’m going to be personally responsible for California’s next water shortage, thanks to all the cold showers.” He moved closer, trapping me between him and the door, and my breath knotted in my lungs. “I haven’t kissed you yet because I was afraid if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
There was nothing I could say. Mainly because I now shared his concern. If I was this excited just by standing close together, I didn’t know how I could handle it if he kissed me.
Chase brought his right hand down, running his fingers along the side of my face, leaving trails of fire. He moved his hand to the back of my head, massaging my scalp while his palm pressed against my cheek. Our noses grazed against each other as his lips hovered above mine, mingling our breath. It made my lungs constrict and my legs threaten to give out.
“Zoe . . .” He said my name as both a plea and a warning.
I realized he was offering me the chance to say no. To move away.
I didn’t.
“Tell me I shouldn’t. Tell me to stop.”
Still, I stayed quiet.
“I put an entire ocean between us so I wouldn’t do this. I’m not known for my restraint. I don’t trust myself.” He used his other hand to rub this thumb across my jawline and over my tingling lips, sending shivers cascading down my spine.
Somehow I reached up and slid my hands to his chest. I could feel how fast his heart was beating. Just as quickly as mine. The air around us felt charged, like the feeling you get when you stand outside just before lightning strikes. “I trust you.”
With a growl of both disbelief and need, his lips crashed into mine, like waves against a cliff in a storm. Which sent me into shock because of a total system overload. So many sensations overwhelmed me at once that I didn’t know what I was feeling. Every part of me, including parts I didn’t know I had, responded to his passionate kiss.
Forget the butterflies. He had unleashed the entire zoo.
“Kiss” felt like a poor description of the way he ravaged my mouth. I thought I understood what kissing should be like. I was seriously mistaken. Because no one had ever kissed me like this before. Not with this hot, hungry intensity. Not with this confidence, this surety, this level of skill. Like somebody would be grading him later on how well he kissed me, and he planned on getting an A.
And going for extra credit.
His lips glided over mine in a rhythmic frenzy that had me tilting against him, holding on for dear life. His insistent, wild, bruising kiss made me dizzy, and I concentrated on the taste of his mouth. The feel of his muscles underneath my hands. The sound of his labored breathing. The delicious heat from his body pressing against mine. The intoxicating, masculine scent of his expensive cologne.
The pleasure of it all flooded through me.
My hair came undone as he ran his unsteady fingers through it, tugging and soothing, those sensations balanced by the pressure of his firm lips moving on mine, igniting sparks with each touch. He devoured me, making my body shudder from all the waiting, all the pent-up frustration and denial he let go with his kiss.
I’d been right. I knew that if Chase burned, I’d be consumed. We were like two bonfires edging closer together, merging into one super fire, glowing hotter and brighter in the night.
He moved from my lips to nipping and pressing hot kisses against the side of my throat. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, trying to pull him closer, wanting this feeling to last for eternity.
Because this was more than just physical. The reason I’d never been kissed like this before was because I’d never had feelings like this for any man. My brain was too woozy to understand those emotions. I only knew I wanted to be near him and didn’t want to lose him.
And I never wanted to stop kissing him.
“Zoe.” His harsh whisper against my skin felt like a branding. I turned my head, intent on bringing his lips back to mine, but he pulled back slightly, just out of reach. I wanted to whimper in protest. It sounded like he said my name again, but I was having a hard time hearing. Because I didn’t know which was louder: my desperate, shallow breathing or my thundering heart.
“Tell me I can lock the door.”
That shot a bolt of clarity through my fuzzy mind. I knew what he was asking. What he’d just told me he wanted. And it all began with a locked door.
He started nibbling on the bottom of my ear, and I slumped down as my bones turned liquid. He put one of his strong, muscled arms around me and kept me upright. He was not fighting fair.
I wanted to say yes. The word yes pounded quickly inside my brain, keeping time with my throbbing pulse. I’d never felt so tempted. It would be so easy. And feel so amazing.
But something inside me whispered that I’d regret it. It was like dumping a bucket of ice water over my head.
“Chase.” I pushed softly against his chest so he’d stop burning my skin with kisses. “I’m sorry. We should stop.”
He leaned his forehead against mine and let out a sigh of regret. “Don’t be. You set your boundaries and made them clear. I just really want to cross them.”
Now that I’d had a small taste of what it would be like between us, I kind of wanted to cross them, too. “We should go back to where there are other people.”
He kissed me one last time, fierce and quick, and it was over far too fast. Then he leaned across me and turned the knob to let us out of the room. He laced his fingers through mine, and we walked down the hallway, my legs totally unstable beneath me.
We passed a mirror, and I said, “What?” when I saw my reflection.
It wasn’t because my cheeks were flushed or my lips looked swollen and well kissed. My hair looked as if it had been attacked by a dray of crazy squirrels. “Why didn’t you tell me how bad my hair looked?”
He twisted a lock of it around his finger. “Because I like how it looks right now. Like somebody was running their fingers through it. And very much enjoying it.”
Hearing him say that made me feel it all over again. Like we were still in that bedroom, and he was drugging me with his magic touch. But if I walked downstairs like this, everybody would know what we’d been up to.
And nobody would believe we’d stopped at just kissing.
We were next to a bathroom, and I ducked in, looking for something to help. I found an elastic band, quickly took out the bobby pins Lexi had used, and pulled my hair into a messy bun. It wasn’t as cute, but it would have to do.
I studied myself in the mirror. I looked different. Maybe because I felt different. I felt . . . beautiful. Wanted. Desired.
Even a little adored.
Chase came up behind me, slipped his arms around my waist, and kissed the top of my ear. “I liked your hair better before.”
I gulped, hard. I loved the feeling of being held against him. “We really need to go back downstairs.”
Before I forgot about my morals and choices and stuff.
He seemed to find that funny, and he kissed my hand once before turning toward the stairs.
When we reached the bottom step, he asked, “Do you understand now how attracted I am to you?”
Now that we weren’t alone, it felt safe to tease him. “Almost. I may need more convincing.”
“Careful, woman,” he growled playfully, and I giggled in a way I didn’t know I could.
I felt light and free and just . . . really happy.
Which sent a jolt of worry through me. The only times in my life when I’d felt this way, truly happy and contented, something had always happened to ruin it. I’d suffered some truly terrible losses.
I’d grown so attached to Chase in such a short amount of time, I didn’t think my heart could take it if I lost him, too.