“You took your time getting here and I was getting a little worried that maybe you were in a ditch somewhere. I was close to calling out the authorities.” My mother was always a bit of a worrywart or at least she pretended to be when other people were around. “You could’ve given me a call and you really did put a good scare into me. Angel was here to tell me that I should give you some room to breathe and that you probably just got lost in your thoughts or something like that.” I tried not to look at him, but it was very difficult when I continually glanced to make sure that this wasn’t a figment of my imagination.
“Your mother tells me that you have been dabbling with journalism. What branch are you interested in?” How he was able to talk without cracking his voice was a mystery that was only known to him. “I have a few connections that might make it easier to open up some doors for you. My business ventures are mostly real estate, but I do own a couple of radio stations.” That was my dream job to be a producer and the creative force behind any kind of advertisement that would be heard on that station. I wasn’t sure how I could justify taking him up on his offer without wondering if there were strings attached to the proposal.
“Your new stepfather is reaching out and I want you to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s only trying to help and this is in no way to ingratiate himself into your life. I know that our relationship has been strained, but I would like to make amends and see if we can’t find a way past our differences.” My mother had never shown this kind of interest in opening up the path of communication between the two of us. I could only surmise that this was Angel’s doing and what a fitting name for a man that seemed like he had come down from heaven built from the blueprints of what a man was supposed to look like and act like.
I was feeling a little short of breath and I touched my forehead to feel the heat of what might have come from the farmer’s wife. She was under the weather the last might that I was there and I was now showing symptoms of the same flu that had afflicted her.
“It’s been a long drive and I will certainly take your proposition into consideration. For now, I would really like to lie down.” I didn’t tell her that I was sick and she was oblivious to me being sick when I was growing up. It was always my grandmother that would sit with me, but she had passed away a couple of years ago, leaving me to fend for myself. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one that gave me the strength of character to strike out and not let my mother belittle me into thinking that I wasn’t worth investing in.
“I have to get to work.” It was only 8:00 AM and my mother was already out the door before I had a chance to say anything more.
“You have to forgive your mother and I convinced her that it would be a good idea for her to put in her notice.” It appeared that she was only pretending to work and this was the girl that had never held down a job a day in her life. Where was she going and was it possible that her affections for Angel were not as deep as I was led to believe? “If you don’t mind me saying so, you don’t look well.” The room was spinning and I fell back into his arms. He carried me like a fireman would a victim outside of a house.
He kicked in the door with his masculine body hovering over me, as he lowered me onto a bed that wasn’t mine. I looked around and the room was the same, but everything else had changed. My childhood memories were boxed up in a corner and she turned my room into a guest room.
“It was probably a good thing that we didn’t do anything. It really is a small world.” I felt this chill run through my body and I grabbed for the white duvet to cover me.
I had my back towards him and then I felt the weight of his body sitting down beside me. “I don’t know what I would’ve done had we succumbed. To hear you in the other room giving yourself pleasure was almost too much for me to take. This was the ultimate test and I faltered a little, but for the most part…I passed. Penny, I want you to rest and I’ll bring you something to eat to settle your stomach.” It felt nice to have somebody to take care of me and my mother was always the hands off approach when it came to parenting.
“Thank you.” I didn’t mean to say that and it brought to mind the very last words that he had said to me after we had supplied each other with enough incentive to drive each other up the wall.
I waited for him to say something, but instead he stopped momentarily at the threshold to my bedroom. I could hear him breathing and then the door slowly closed. I couldn’t believe the odds of having him, as my new stepfather. It didn’t seem possible that god would be that cruel to dangle him in front of me and then to have him here underneath the same roof was only asking for problems.
He came back about ½ hour later and placed a cool cloth over my forehead. He helped me to lift my head, so that I could have some tomato soup. This was not the normal kind that you would find in a can. This was absolutely delicious with a bit of spice to sweat the infection out of my body. I had a fever and in my delirium, I reached out and grabbed him inappropriately.
He took my hand away from his crotch with my fingers moving with this need to complete that connection. “You don’t know what you’re doing and I’m not going to take advantage of you in your current condition. Try to refrain from throwing yourself at me the best way that you can.” He was wearing the same pants that he had on when I first met him and I wondered how many of those pairs that he might have in his closet. A guy is a little bit sparse with his collection of clothing, unless you’re counting ties and shirts of different motifs and styles. Pants and shoes would not be as plentiful, as the ones that were currently in a garbage bag behind my truck seat.
“I don’t even know why you are with her. She doesn’t deserve you and she will hurt you. I think that you should be forewarned that she gets bored quickly.” My hand once again rested on the bulge that was now pushing up against my hand. He pulled away and placed it back across my chest. He grazed my nipples through the shirt that I had undone. There was nothing preventing me from throwing back the covers and showing him the peaks of a 20 year old woman. I still couldn’t believe that I was a virgin and the way that my body was reacting had nothing to do with purity of the heart.
“Yes…well…I’m…going to take a shower. Get some sleep and I’ll be back later to check on you.” He was gone no more than 10 minutes. When I heard the shower, I felt compelled to see him in more than the visions in my head.
I was feeling a lot better and this flu must’ve been something that came and went at a moment’s notice. I found myself standing at the bathroom door with that very door open a crack. I could see the reflection of his chiseled body through the thin layer of a bathroom curtain. I had to believe that my mother had something to do with that and I actually had something to thank her for.
I couldn’t stop staring and he opened the curtain himself like he had an inkling that I might be there. The rest his body was covered and we had this moment of eye contact before I took a step backward and went back to my room.