There was no doubt in my mind what I had to do? “I look good. I do. I do.” I told myself this with optimism as I stood like a topless mannequin observing the spoils of my late thirties with my hands that were cupped in a fist as my biceps raised like mountains.

“Hurgh!” I twisted my waist from left-to-right and then posed like Mr. Universe as I let my muscle definition define my dwindling confidence. When my arms dropped to the side they came up immediately – to grip both sides of my neck as my nervousness accompanied a circular stroll around my bathroom. There wasn’t much space in here, but I made good use of my burgundy carpet as I trod upon it.

I was unsure of tonight. I was unsure of myself. And I knew that it had been a long time since I had last entered into the dating pool as an Omega of questionability. One glass of wine was already empty on the side of my sink and I was tempted to get another. As I held the glass — I poured the last few drops into the sink and then found my eyes rising to my reflection in the mirror.

My dark eyes were older than before with a sootiness around the eyelids. I could’ve mistaken myself for wearing eyeliner and then smudging it. But that was not the case. I just had the look of an Omega who was in a very dark place, but had come out stronger than before with wisdom and strength. My scruffy beard needed the sharpness of a razor that I scrapped against my chin with the shaving gel to tidy it.

When I was happy with the smoother goatee, I found some words came to me. “There it is, Robbie. Another reason why you still have it. That sexiness is still in the details of your face. Let me just…let me fix my hair.” I took another razor to shave the back of my head and all around the sides as my medium brown locks hung above in a wet look.

The clock was ticking…and me primping and getting ready in the mirror was dragging itself into another episode of circling the bathroom floor and pumping that charismatic energy into a great-ball-o-fire! I needed that flame to tickle me! I needed to jump on the spot and give myself a release of cheery-baby!

It worked, and I got into my clothes: a V-neck shirt that was a little dated, but was my favourite sky-blue as I rolled up the sleeves. And then my noir slacks with a texture as soft as a pillow newly brought with two pockets.

I was both comfortable and sexy. And that propelled me to straighten my back and take my wholesome body-frame in as I denied myself any more exercise and self-doubt in this bathroom. I had completed level one of my ordeal: finding the urge to merge myself into something presentable.

And now level two slid its way into my jacket and the shoes that I tied the laces for…when I closed that front door I was heading to a bar full of Alpha’s and that was pending…pending…pending…until I stood outside the venue with a small signpost — came closer to have a read and saw what level two would now be about: speed dating.

* * *

I walked into the bar lit by red candles that gave a glow of promising romance upon the tables. There was more than ten placed around the room, with the whole room giving me sexual seduction vibes as I made my way to the table to sign my name down for the speed dating. There were Alphas grooming themselves as Omegas mingled around, pretending not to be noticed by the lustrous line emerging with growing energy that I felt from the dominant Alphas.

The heat was magnetizing as I stood alone and observed from a corner where nobody would spot me.

My stirred playfulness eye-balled various Alphas, like him with the nice hazel eyes and fierce gaze as he subtly sniffed the air…oh, and there was one with a small shaved head who walked like he would sex me good but not call me later. Another had unique tattoos all over his hands and head that depicted his pack of northern wolves and could be pinpointed as a true flirt as he licked his lips then rubbed his chin mischievously.

There was potential in the bar, and the scents of hormonal glands raged like a brewing storm with no intention of simmering down. It was overpowering to be there, but I managed to maintain no eye contact even though many were in the heat of it all. I hoped to have a measurement of desirability with the down-to-fuck-mentality.

And that would be tested when a female with hair reaching her hips held a bell into the air with the room awaiting its first ring to get it all started.

There was the option of placards with getting to know you questions that I left for those without conversation to offer. She read out the rules in front of us all as a few bar staff positioned the tables into four-rows-of-five with space for the Alpha and Omegas to move in between.

“Hi everybody, as you know, you’ll have five minutes to get all you need and then move onto the next table. I’ll continue to ring the bell each time a session is over. And the scoring cards can help you all keep account of who was your preferred Alpha or Omega. Happy hunting! And let’s keep the hand-jobs down to a minimum.”

The room laughed with that scripted joke and seemed to know how it worked more than me. And the next thing I knew…Alphas and Omegas seated themselves and the rung bell was missed by a befuddled me who searched for the one table that had a seat for me. I saw it, at the far end of the room farthest away from the bar. I would have to start from the bottom; and work my way down on the left-hand side.

I came to the table and the Alpha didn’t get up to greet me. Not that I wanted any chivalry, but it would have made me feel a little more confident as he barely raised his eyes from another Omega that he was checking out blatantly. I stood waiting for the invitation, but none came as I gave a wave to get his attention in the end.

When he finally tore his eyes away he leapt up and I got a better view: too short for me to take seriously. And for an Alpha, his hands were pretty small with a new baby feel. His jaw was wide at the bottom and his cheeks extended further into a comical cat. The yellowish eyes were his best bet at getting laid tonight. And it’s what warmed me up enough to sit down.

“I’m Michael, twenty-five, and I’m looking for a one-night stand.”

Eeeee-urg! was the failed buzz that went off as I wanted to ask him why on earth would you let me know that?

But after that confession my tongue stayed chewed and not in a tantalizing manner. I wasn’t wanting something so brisk and straight forward like that. “I appreciate the honesty. I thought usually it works out that you talk about stuff and then get to the point of—”

“Yeah I don’t like to waste time. So, you interested or not?”

The answer was not. And my closed mouth and no response told him that. But we sat for the next four minutes in silence as he twiddled his thumbs and leaned back in his chair awaiting the bell that couldn’t come sooner. Ding. Ding. Ding. Three rings, and then a shuffle of Alphas and Omegas being directed on to the next table by the staff. I knew my score for Michael: zero-zero and an added minus.

The next guy had a curly, dark brown flat top with fervent eyes that he watched me with all the way until I sat myself down. I was a little uncomfortable with him, like I was breathing, and it was poisonous in his presence. After Michael I was hanging onto dead air, but this guy was a hot wire.

“What’s your name then?”

“I’m Robbie.” I gave a reluctant smile because there was no reading this guy’s friendliness. “And what’s your name?”

“Joseph. And I’m a bear shifter from the Bearanut clan. I like the smell of apples on an Omega. It’s always been my preferred fruit after passionfruit.”

“I like passionfruit.” Score one, for Joseph.

“That’s nice. But do you like being tied up; gagged; held down; and submissive when asked by your Master?” And with those words came the craziness behind his closing and opening fingers with the wild lizard tongue that knocked away his intense appeal.

Eeeee-urg! Another miss on the scorecard.

And then the Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding — and onto the next attempt for enthusiasm with an Alpha wearing a suit with a tucked in handkerchief that revealed a small embroidered rose upon it. He looked smart. Sophisticated. Shoes equalled the same as his overall appeal: expensive. And he had a pompousness that wasn’t in the way of his manners.

As an accountant, he was fully my type, but I stayed guarded when I noticed one thing off about him. He was not a shifter. He gave off nothing that could supplement him as one. No animalistic odour came from him when I inhaled subtly, and his eyes didn’t carry the weight of a beast within. They were neutral and calm, and a shifter always ran with the mating call that engulfed him entirely.

Gregory was allured by me, and even got up like a gentleman which always made me weak. He was a little old fashion with the pulling out my seat trick, but I welcomed some difference. “You know, the past two Omegas I spoke to were nothing on your level and we haven’t even talked yet.”

“I was just about to say something similar. It’s been pretty disastrous for me.” We had a natural connection. “I think most want to score points in the bed.”

Gregory smiled at that and so did I, because we heard the conversation on the table behind him that had gone quiet after do you think we could talk about your sexual history?

“So, what is it that you do, Robbie?”

“I’m an accountant on the best days of the week.”

“Really? It suits your slender frame. I would’ve gone with mathematician.”

I smirk. “That’s so funny because I always wanted to be one. I was something of a maths nerd in school.”

Gregory snapped one finger with the words. “Shit! Me to. I kid you not. I was friends with the losers…but look at me now I always say?” He flicks out the lapels of his suit and then patted them down with a double tap. “I’m an entrepreneur doing some market research as we speak.”

“Oh yeah, market research in what?”

“Speed dating within the shifter community. I wanted to develop an app for shifters, but wanted to see the turn-outs for your kind. I’m impressed. I’d like to ask you a few questions about yourself and your past? It would give me a good idea of what you’d be looking for in our feature? We want to connect the community out here in Juneau.”

I needed the lucky stroke of a leprechaun’s grin because this, I thought, would be the one amongst the weeds who I’d pick for a romp and frolic. But the last laugh was on me as he only wanted to study me as a breed. And that damaged my wounded ego as I gulped and chewed on my bottom lip that was dryer than I anticipated.

A drink…a very strong drink and maybe a snack to go with it would need to save me now. I gave Gregory nothing but yes…no…yes…well, maybe. And then left him to the next victim of research and decided that there was no point in pursuing speed dating when the next Alpha I was meant to interact with had a weird habit of spreading his legs wide enough for his middle to do the chit-chat.

I disposed of the placard in the dustbin and crossed my name off the list. The girl ignored me as she sat bored waiting for the five minutes to end. I should take her job, because at this rate she’d have more chance pulling an Alpha than me. I must be diseased or contaminated with an unrateable label on my forehead. Because none of those men, even though they were about sex alone, spoke the same to the next visitor.

I should be flattered to get their groin meowing, but I wanted more. Like ordering a single shot and thinking no, how about I go for a double instead? “I’ll have a double rosemary gin and brandy.” The barman cleaned his last glass, he’d done ten already and aligned them for him to snatch up and spin into the air like he’s making a cocktail. “Add another shot in there if you can?”

I signalled that from the brandy bottle that he opened. And it would work with my desire to forget a question that Gregory had asked. Have you ever been soul bounded with a child? The bell rang just before I could finish my stammering lines that got me good! I had tried to push the past in the back of my head. But what use was that now that I was here and watching others go off with their chosen mate already.

It was cruel when I sipped my drink that reeked of brandy-brandy-brandy —and I was on my way to ordering another one when I felt the seat next to me fill with a bodily scent that aroused me into a side-eye-roll! I had to observe who the heck that was, because it was uncommonly pleasant like petrol, soot, and diesel gas.

“Is this seat taken?” His voice had a young outdoorsman charm to it.

“No.” He had already sat down, but I thought it was amusing to ask me anyway.

“A little uncommon, isn’t it?”

“What is?” I moved my empty glass around in uneasy circles. His smell was nostalgic which caused the hairs on my arms to do the Mexican wave. This action calmed my bodily messenger that was hampering my ability to look him in the eye. I knew he was observing the glass with an intense excitement. He could read my tension that now had me pulling up my sleeves even more.

“What’s an Omega doing out here in the heat?”

“He’s trying to date.”

“So, you’re trying to date? A bold move since most Alphas can sniff what you are after a mile away. I won’t deny I’ve observed you and their sexual responses can’t be blamed.” He sniffs my shirt and then the side of my neck…he doesn’t move from that position. “Yes. You’re a mixture of lust and bravery. But there’s plenty of self-doubt and something more that I can’t tell.”

“You picked up all that from my glands?”

“I picked up much…much more.”