Hunter

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

This is not happening.

How did I not realize?

As I sit here and stare at her across the table, memories of those awful moments in the halls come rushing back to me. To hear it from her view makes everything ten times worse. I can’t do this. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair to her.

Making a lame excuse about a forgotten appointment, I bolt from the table as casually as I could. As I approach the exit, I turn and look at her one last time, waving before I leave. It’ll be the last time I see her, but she doesn’t know that. Sure, I told her to text me about Sunday. That’s because I’m a chicken shit and couldn’t let her down in person.

It seems I haven’t grown up as much as I thought. I was a chicken shit back then too.

Rushing across town, straight to the DUCS office, I try calling Paul three times before I screech to a stop in the parking lot, my tires skidding across the pavement.

“I can’t do it,” I say as I barge in Paul’s office, unaware that someone else is with him. Looking between him and the woman sitting in his lap, I back away slowly, closing the door behind me.

Pacing up and down the hall, I’m forced to wait. Unable to stand it any longer, I lean back against the wall opposite his door and close my eyes. All I see is a fractured version of Reese, attempting not to cry as Tiffanie rips pages from a book and throws them at her. I should have stopped her right then, but I froze. It was my breaking point, the moment I knew I couldn’t be with her any longer.

* * *

Grabbing me by the arm, Tiffanie led me into the pep rally while Reese collected the torn pages from the ground at her feet. The vision of her holding her head high as her book was ripped to shreds at the hands of her bully was all I could see.

As we sat down in the bleachers, I whispered to Tiffanie that it was over. She was oblivious to the fact that I was even talking to her. Following her line of sight, she was staring out the doors, pointing at Reese, telling the girls behind us what had happened. They both laughed, getting the attention of a few other people.

All I could do was watch it unfold. Reese wasn’t even in the room, and Tiffanie was being a bitch to her. While they pointed and dissed her, I watched as she picked up the last page of her book and dumped it in the trash, disappearing from view. Waiting a few beats for her to walk in the gym, I tried to get Tiffanie's attention again, but she ignored me.

“Hey!” I screamed.

Turning toward me, she raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. I’d seen that look before. She was challenging me. Her face told me what she was thinking without her having to speak a word.

“Are you really talking to me like that?” it said.

“I’m done,” I stated plainly as I stood. The students behind us had quieted and were all intently listening to what I had to say.

“Excuse me?” she replied, irritation radiating off of her in waves.

“You heard me. I’m done. We’re done.”

“Whatever. Bye, Tyler,” she replied, turning back around, effectively dismissing me.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that? You treat people like shit, talk about them behind their backs, and then are nice to them to their face, claiming you’re their friend.” Pointing to the girl right behind her, I said, “She was complaining about you last night. Apparently, you’re too clingy. And you,” I continued, pointing to the girl next to her, “She doesn’t like how you dress.”

“That’s enough, Tyler. Go away now. You’re embarrassing yourself,” Tiffanie hollered without turning around to look at me.

“Am I? Or am I embarrassing you?”

“Just go!” she screamed, whipping around finally so I can see the anger in her eyes. Her scream caused even more people to take notice of the commotion.

“I’m done taking orders from you. No one cares that you’re popular. I’m sure all these people talk shit about you too, about the way you treat them. You’re a bully, Tiffanie. Plain and simple.”

“Oh my god. This is about that girl, isn’t it?” she laughed.

“No, this is about you. You treat her worse than anyone else because you think you can, because she doesn’t stand up to you. Well, guess what? You go near her again, and you’ll have to deal with me. I’m done watching you bully people.”

“Mr. Small,” a voice called from behind me. “I’d like to see you in my office, please. Now.”

I’m not sure how long our principal had been standing there, but it was long enough to hear me call Tiffanie a bitch, and that sealed my fate. It didn’t matter what Tiffanie had done–no one had reported it. She got off free and clear while I spent five days at home, worrying about the girl in the hall, wishing I knew if she was safe or not.

* * *

A few minutes later, the door opens. Paul’s mystery woman, who I can only assume is Ireland, walks in my direction.

“He’s all yours,” she says before sauntering down the hall. I watch her walk away until I hear Paul clear his throat.

“Like what you see?” he asks, amused.

“Yeah, she’s hot. So is Reese. Reese, who also happens to be a girl I went to high school with.” Brushing past him, I take a seat and rest my head in my hands. “I know her, Paul. I’ve known her for years. If she figures out who I am, it will destroy her. I can’t do this. I can’t take this job. You have to find someone else.”

“Wait. You know her?” he asks, sitting directly in front of me on the edge of his desk.

“Weren’t you listening to me? We went to the same high school.”

“So what’s the big deal? Tell her now, so it’s not a problem later on.” He makes it sound so simple.

“You don’t understand. My ex-girlfriend is the one who broke her.” I want to tell him everything, but it’s not my story to tell.

“She doesn’t seem broken to me. In fact, from what I know about her, she has her shit together more than most people.”

“Not anymore, but she was. I saw it with my own eyes. That’s why she wants an escort for the reunion. She doesn’t want to face this alone. I can’t be that person for her. If anyone recognizes me, it’ll make things worse in the end.” I can’t let that happen. I tried my best to protect her from Tiffanie back then, and I won’t be the reason she has an opportunity to destroy her now.

“I still don’t see the problem. It’s a masquerade ball. No one will see your face.”

He has a point, but that doesn’t change the fact that I know the truth. Sure, our entire relationship is a lie, but that doesn’t mean we need to pile more lies on top of it. At some point in time, the truth will come out. It always finds a way and always at the worst time.

“Look, Hunter, I can see the wheels turning in your mind. This is going to be fine. No one is going to find out who you really are. That’s why you use a different name for this type of thing. Keep it a secret from her or tell her–it’s your decision. If it were me, I wouldn’t tell her. On the other hand, if you decide to, that would be putting the decision in her lap and taking the pressure off of you.”

“Can’t you find someone else?”

“If you had asked me two hours ago, I could have. I just booked the rest of the weekend. No one else is available. Are you going to be able to handle it?” he asks, his tone all business.

“I’m not worried about me. I know what she went through. I witnessed the powerful blow to her self-esteem. It’s the aftermath that concerns me.” Because I’m not sure how much Tiffanie has grown up over the last ten years.

“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry.”

“Tell me that I’m not going to ruin her life. Tell me she won’t figure out who I am. Tell me something good, Paul,” I beg. I need my friend right now, not my boss. I need to know someone is on my side.

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to hear, but I can’t promise you I’m not full of shit, and you know that.”

“Damn it!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “All she wanted was to hire a fake fiancé to rub her success in the face of the bullies that tortured her in high school. She didn’t sign up for this.”

“So make that happen. Rub it in their faces and get the hell out of there. When you get back, you can tell her the truth or you can part ways and never speak again.”

I’m out of options. Either I go, play the part, and pray my cover isn’t blown. Or I stay, let her down, and she faces this alone. Neither is ideal, and neither will get Reese the closure she’s after.

Leaving Paul’s office, I head home to do a little soul searching. This decision is bigger than me and what I want. It’s about Reese. It’s about Tiffanie. It’s about rectifying a situation that I didn’t have the balls to stop when I was seventeen until it was too late.

It’s about being a bigger person than I was back then.

That moment is one I’ve always regretted. It’s haunted me time and time again.

Why didn’t I recognize her? How is it that she looks completely different yet the same as she always has?