Chapter Two
Brent had no idea how long he’d been staring into space, sitting on the edge of his bed. He could hear Riley and Emily moving around downstairs, going on with their lives, the hum of the house blending into background noise as he tried to process what had just happened.
This was supposed to be his wedding day.
He should have been married by now.
Brent felt as though he was standing in a thick fog, as if the rest of the world was a fuzzy blur of muffled noise and color. Close by, but not something he could reach out and touch. Not yet.
Eventually, he stood and shrugged his suit jacket off. He folded it like his mom had taught him years ago, smoothed the fabric down and set it on the edge of the bed where he’d been sitting a moment before.
Brent’s fingers slipped on the knot of his tie, clumsy and awkward, not entirely ready to cooperate. Frustration made him growl and tug it off without undoing the knot, pulling it over his head instead. He tossed it on the bed and unbuttoned his shirt, tugging the tails out of the waistband of his pants.
His belt fought him as well, the buckle too fine, too delicate to undo when he couldn’t see past tears.
Shit. Was he crying now?
He hadn’t cried in a long time.
Riley had called around the police and hospitals as soon as they’d gotten back. Nothing. Rose just hadn’t bothered to show up.
He’d been abandoned. In front of everyone he knew.
The belt buckle gave way under his fingers and he shoved his pants to the floor, letting them pool there, done with being neat. The hire company could iron it and keep his deposit for the trouble. What the hell was the point?
Until today, Brent hadn’t thought that anyone ever actually got left at the altar. He’d thought it was the wedding story equivalent of an urban legend, meant to scare potential grooms into behaving.
Be good, or be humiliated in front of everyone you know.
Riley had been there. Emily had been there.
How could he ever face them again? They’d both been so gentle coming away from the church, but Brent wasn’t sure he could handle more of that. More of feeling like a victim.
He’d already been there and done that. He hadn’t liked the way it felt then, and he didn’t like it now.
A knock on the door made him jump.
“I’m not dressed,” he called out automatically, though he wasn’t sure either Emily or Riley would care right now.
“Even better,” Riley said as he pushed the door open.
Brent blushed at the comment. It was almost enough to drag him out of his own self-pity for a moment.
The smell of cooking wafted in from the hall, making Brent’s stomach rumble. He hadn’t eaten all day, and while he still didn’t want to, his body had other ideas.
Riley had changed in the time they’d been back, out of the suit Brent had actually been shocked to see him in and into a loose-fitting linen shirt and a pair of jeans. That was… more Riley-like.
People called him a hippie as if it was a bad thing. Brent saw a man who was a lot smarter than the rest of them, and always had been.
Sometimes, he wished he could be more like Riley. As free and confident and at ease as he always seemed.
Riley could have been left at the altar every week and not cared. He would have just kept showing up, endlessly optimistic, letting it all roll off him like it was nothing.
Brent felt like he was never going to be ready to go to another wedding again. Not even someone else’s.
No one would have left Riley like that. He wouldn’t have picked someone who would. He actually had choices.
Riley could have had anyone. Brent was lucky to have anyone.
“How are you holding up?” Riley asked, closing the bedroom door behind him. “I see you’ve decided to give up clothing, which I think is a solid choice for you.”
For the first time in his life, Brent was aware of Riley looking at him. Really looking at him, not just seeing him there.
He wasn’t sure what it meant, but it was strange. New.
“I, uh,” Brent started, brushing that thought aside. “I’m hungry,” he said, not able to think of anything else.
He was hungry. He was hungry, and tired, and sad. He wanted to curl up under the blankets and nibble on toast, and he wanted a hug.
Riley would give him one if he asked, but he wasn’t sure he could ask. Not right now.
“Good, because Emily and I made dinner. It’s delicious and you should definitely come down and eat. But, uh.” Riley cleared his throat. “You might want to sit down first. I got a text from Rose.”
Brent sat down without even consciously deciding to. His knees collapsed underneath him, dropping him back onto the bed.
It was just as well he’d still been standing in front of it, or he would have dropped straight to the floor.
Riley gave him a worried look, his eyes softening and his mouth falling, but took out his phone anyway.
“I’m not gonna read it to you exactly, but Rose wants you to know that she left with Tom this morning.” Riley looked up. “I assume she means Tom your business partner.”
Brent swallowed. He’d been surprised that he didn’t see Tom at the wedding, but he’d assumed he just missed him and that he was there somewhere among the crowd.
Apparently not.
Brent’s stomach churned, his head spinning. He could see why Riley had told him to sit down.
This was worse than realizing Rose wasn’t coming. He hadn’t been betrayed by one person he thought he could trust, he’d been betrayed by two.
Images of Rose and Tom together raced through his head, one after another. It should have been so obvious. He’d thought Tom was just being friendly, getting along with Rose like a normal person, but now…
Now it seemed sinister. Tom wasn’t normally the friendliest of men. Professional, and good at his job, but he and Brent had always been colleagues, business partners, but never really friends. Not friends in the way Brent was with other people, people who he chose to see outside of business hours.
He felt stupid for not seeing it.
He felt stupid for thinking Rose would pick him over someone like Tom, who was always so polished and neat, who wasn’t carrying around the burden of his past, who…
Who was just better than Brent. In every way that counted.
Being reminded of that hurt.
But the worst of it all was the guilt.
The guilt at being relieved, just a little. Everything had been moving too fast. Brent had told himself that it was just wedding jitters, that it’d all be okay once all the planning and the stress was over, but…
Maybe he had known, subconsciously, that it wasn’t right.
He was too exhausted to think too hard about it right now.
“I’ve changed my mind about being hungry,” Brent said.
He wanted to curl up under the blankets and never come out. The feeling of being crushed under a pile of his own mistakes was overwhelming, and all he wanted to do right now was sleep forever.
It wasn’t an option, and neither Riley nor Emily would have let him, but it was the only thought he could come up with.
This sucked. Everything sucked, and Brent couldn’t see a way out of it. There was so much to do, and it had taken him hours to summon the motivation to get undressed.
Overwhelming barely seemed to cover it. There had to be a bigger word than that.
“You have to eat,” Riley said, tucking his phone back in his pocket. “And I’ve started putting things right and cancelling stuff locally, but I need some information from you to handle the rest of it. I’ll do all the work, I just need you to answer questions.”
Brent looked up, surprised that Riley was already on top of things. Already thinking ahead.
He shouldn’t have been surprised. Riley had all the responsibility instincts of an older brother. It was why they were so close in the first place. He only seemed irresponsible to people who didn’t know him.
Riley always had a plan. Or at least, if not a plan, a habit of charging in anyway and getting things done. That was just who he was.
That was who Brent was, most of the time. Just not right now.
Riley would take care of him.
As much as he hated the idea of relying on anyone, he knew that if he had to, Riley was his best option. Riley had never let him down yet.
“I can answer questions,” Brent said. He really didn’t want to face anyone—even Emily, who he loved more than anything—but he’d have to eventually. Wallowing never helped.
“Do you want me to go while you get dressed, or do you want me to stay?”
Brent hesitated, unsure what the answer to that was. Riley was so soothing that he almost couldn’t bear to ask him to leave, but on the other hand, he’d been embarrassed enough today. His boxer-briefs were maintaining what was left of his dignity.
It wasn’t as though Riley hadn’t seen him mostly naked before, but Brent wasn’t quite ready to strip off in front of him. Not today.
“You know what? You look tired. How about instead of dinner, I make you a hot chocolate and you can sip it and take a nap. Dinner will reheat.”
Brent breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe Riley was reading all the signs that he absolutely wasn’t ready to face the world, but as long as he didn’t say that out loud, Brent could pretend that wasn’t what was happening.
Tiredness sounded like a great excuse right now. It wasn’t even untrue.
“Yeah, I’m exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”
“Okay. New plan, then. You get into bed, and I’ll be back in a second.”
Brent breathed a sigh of relief. Bed sounded way easier than facing the world.
“Thanks,” he said, shifting his weight. “I wanna see that text when I get up.”
Riley shrugged. “It’s for you, as far as I’m concerned. I just didn’t want to shove it in your face.” He wet his lips. “She does say sorry.”
Brent huffed softly. “Yeah, well. We’re all sorry.”
The floorboards creaked as Riley took a step toward the door. “Hey, I love you,” Riley said. “Not all is lost.”
A wry smile tugged at the corner of Brent’s mouth, surprising him. He hadn’t thought he’d be able to smile for anything.
“I love you too, man,” Brent responded. “Thanks for being here.”
“Always. You know you only ever need to call.”
Brent nodded. Riley had always come when he asked.
He’d just never felt like he could ask nearly as often as he’d wanted Riley around. “I know.”
Brent watched the door swing closed behind Riley’s retreating back, swallowing when he heard the latch click shut. He missed Riley already, and he didn’t really want to be alone, but he did need a nap.
Riley would be back in a few minutes, and then he wouldn’t be alone. Riley would stay until he fell asleep if Brent asked. It wouldn’t have been the first time.
All Brent had to do was close his eyes and wait.