Alyssa

It reminds me of the Celtic music that is played in Lisa and my favourite pub. Images float through my head—dark forest, nymphs, a shimmery mist. The music is wild and pure and also sad and beautiful. A magical mix. I see Vahan walking off out of the corner of my eye and relief surges through me. My eyes seek Arnau. I notice him standing by the corner of the house so I tear my hand away from Almast’s and move towards him. He pulls forward and we stand opposite each other.

“Dance with me,” I say, trying to steady my ardent breath.

“I can’t, Alyssa.”

“Why?”

“Only your husband-to-be can dance with you.”

I widen my eyes, but in fact, I haven’t seen any men dancing. “What a rubbish custom.”

“In my tribe we’re free. Free like birds in the sky. Free to dance.” Passion blazes in his gaze.

He looks like he’s proud of his origins, like he yearns for his people.

I swallow thickly. “Maybe you’ll dance with me one day.”

“Maybe.”

I wonder what emotions will torment his soul when he’s watching me with Vahan.

“Go behind the building and then along the gravel path,” he says as his face turns into an emotionless mask.

I stare at him as a realisation blooms in my mind. No words are necessary.

I nod at him and pull forward. Adrenaline circles in my veins and I’m shaky. Moving along the side wall of the building, I notice the beginning of the path and pick up the pace. Tall trees that resemble the thujas my mom planted in our garden rise in front of me as someone’s arms wrap around me from behind.

I whimper.

“Be quiet,” Arnau says.

“You scared me.” I huff out then allow his masculine scent to fill my lungs.

Desire and fear mix in my chest.

“Come on,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him.

“Where are we going?”

“To the winery. There’s nobody there.”

I clutch a piece of my gown and lift it so I won’t step onto the hem and fall down. We start running. A sense of freedom wafts through me as we immerse ourselves into the density of vine leaves and move along a curly path. I see a building perched on a hill. It’s made of stone and topped with a thatched roof.

Arnau yanks my hand and we start climbing, our breaths heavy. Excitement radiates from us and through us—his mingling with mine each time our glances meet. I’m happy. I’m hanging in a timeless bubble. He and I are the same now—we are the rebels facing the world as one. We are all joy. We are all hope. We are all impatience. It’s like we’re breaking the unbreakable.

We stop in front of a double ornate door and Arnau pulls me to him. I bounce off him and inhale him—grass, wind, wild freedom. I put my hands on his neck and pull him to me. I sense his desperate resistance in the rigidness of his muscles, in the torment on his face, then his lips are on mine. My mind spins. Fever fills my veins.

Arnau moves back and kicks the door open. We tumble inside—our kiss never breaks. Arnau sways like he has tripped over something and he falls down, pulling me with him. I erupt into laughter, landing on his chest. He rolls me over so I’m on my back and he’s on top of me. His lips slam on mine. I fall into the heat of our passion. We just want to kiss—to kiss all the unfairness, all the forbidden, all the limits away. To kiss like we’re free to decide about our fate.

“Arnau,” Vahan growls from our left.

I freeze as Arnau jumps to his feet in one springy motion.

“Vahan,” Arnau says, his voice devoid of emotions.

I scramble to my feet and glance at Vahan. He looks like a born killer in the light of torches. Something crushes my heart and strips me of oxygen.

“Don’t punish her,” Arnau says. “She doesn’t know the rules.”

“But you know them very well,” Vahan says, his voice as cold as a glacier.

“We didn’t do anything wrong, sir,” I say in a trembling voice, but Vahan ignores me.

“I didn’t touch her innocence,” Arnau says.

“Good, you remembered not to take what doesn’t belong to you.” Vahan turns to me and grips my arm, digging his fingers into my flesh.

I start crying, shivering from fear, from uncertainty, from pain, as he drags me outside the building and then along the path. I cry quietly and step onto the edge of my gown, falling to my knees. Vahan stops, grips my waist and throws me over his shoulder as his furious growl wakes the most primal fear inside me.

Vahan

I should whip her.

I should treat her like all the others.

I should bend her over the table and take what’s mine.

But I don’t want to see fear in her beautiful eyes.

I carry her to her bedroom and throw her on the bed.

“Don’t hurt me, please,” she sobs as she sits on her heels.

Kohar sneaks into the room and stands by the bed like she wants to shelter Alyssa with her own body.

“Teach her,” I say. “Teach her fast.”

“She doesn’t know our culture,” Kohar says. “What did you expect?”

“Enough, woman.” I raise my finger at Kohar as she frowns and sneaks out.

A sense of shame surges through me. Kohar is my wisdom. She’s been a mother to me since I remember. I don’t want to be harsh on her.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” Alyssa sobs. “So sorry.”

I look at her lips swollen from his kisses and rage fills my veins. “I’ll kill whoever dares touch you, do you understand?”

Alyssa bobs her head, her tears so beautifully crystal and glittery on her flushed cheeks.

“You are my property,” I say.

Alyssa’s eyes widen as though she can see her own death.

I’m a monster to her.

Good. She’ll respect me more.

I am her master, and she is my slave.

Our glances collide and something wild flickers in hers. She crawls off the bed and walks to me then clings to my chest and cries, wetting my shirt with her tears.

“I’m sorry, please, forgive me,” she says.

Her body trembles against mine as her arms squeeze my chest like her life depends on it.

She’s so fucking smart. I melt under her touch. I’m her slave, and she’s my mistress.

She sobs, curling up into me. I stroke her head as she rubs herself against me.

“Tishy, dzie’ta,” I say.

Her glassy eyes rise to mine.

“Behave, Alyssa,” I say.

“I will,” she says.

She flashes me a pale smile. I can’t stop myself and I kiss the top of her head.

“I won’t punish you this time,” I say, “but you need to behave.”

She rests her cheek against my chest and sighs as if with relief.

I want to hold her in my arms for eternity. Instead, I push her gently away and exit her bedroom.

Well, she’ll sure as fuck hate me tomorrow.

Alyssa

I roll on my bed and mourn Arnau’s fate. Vahan will punish him, I’m sure.

Vosgi shakes my arm in the morning. “Hurry.”

I get up, pull a linen dress on and go to the kitchen, but Vosgi grabs my hand and drags me outside the house. We move towards the training ground and join the other people gathering there. I see Arnau, who’s half-naked, and is standing by a pole with his wrists cuffed and tied to it.

Dread surges through my veins and stabs my heart like an icicle.

“What is happening?” I ask.

“Our master will punish him for what he did yesterday,” Vosgi says.

She wraps her arm around my back and pulls me to her.

I see Vahan move closer to Arnau with a whip in his hand. I close my eyes and shake.

There is silence then the crack of the whip. Every molecule of my body screams silently and cries silently. I hear another crack and another. I hear Arnau’s groan. I count. One blow. Five blows. Ten blows. It stops.

I move back and sit on the grassy ground. Tears flow from my eyes. I’ve never seen anything more inhumane than this in my life.

“Why is he so cruel?” I hiss through tears as Vosgi sits opposite me.

“The rules are for protecting the female slaves,” Vosgi says. “No man is allowed to touch a woman here without our master’s permission. It protects us from being raped. We’re safe here unlike the women in other estates. Our master is a wise and good man. He cares about his people. He cares about the women living here unlike others.”

I feel like something has died inside of me. I know I will never look at Arnau again. From now on, we are strangers to each other. A chasm is going to separate us. We’re going to live in two different worlds.

“We have to get back to work,” Vosgi says.

My mind detaches as I rise to my feet. Strange. I should be hysterical, but I’m not. I feel some kind of strength sprout inside of me. I’m focused on my survival. On learning the rules.

We go to Vahan’s house, and I carry on cleaning the hall. As my shift ends, Vosgi sends me to our house. I walk out of Vahan’s house through the back door and bounce off him.

“Be careful,” he says.

I nod even though I want to stab him with a knife.

“I’ll walk you,” he says.

I nod. I’ve been working like a machine and I have no energy to talk or escape him or do something other than walking.

So we start walking.

“I had to humiliate my friend because of you, Alyssa.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I have to be strict otherwise my people won’t have a good life here. Do you understand?”

I don’t give a fuck, Vahan.

“I have to be who I am, Alyssa. I have to do bad things in order to save life. Life is important.”

At first, I’m stunned at his raw honesty. He’s trying to explain himself to his slave. I dig into my being to release all my anger, but surprisingly I can’t. Vosgi’s words float through my head then a seed of respect sprouts inside me. My respect for Vahan. It doesn’t make me hate him less, but allows me to see a human in him.

I hate Zaria. I don’t understand this planet at all, but I start seeing Vahan as a good man who’s trying to do his best in such difficult circumstances. That creates a tornado inside me. That devastates then creates something new.

“I know,” I say.

I hate him and I respect him. And something else I can’t name.

“Your books are in your bedroom,” he says.

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you, Vahan.” I freeze as my breath stops in my throat. I just addressed him by the way I shouldn’t have addressed him. My eyes travel to his. “I’m sorry. It’s just… nerves.”

He puts his hand on the back of my neck. “You’re going to have new duties from tomorrow.”

I guess, he doesn’t like my cleaning at all.

“Vosgi will explain everything to you,” he continues. “And wear the gowns I bought for you.”

“They’re not very practical.” Right. I should learn how to bite my tongue. “I—“

“Wear them and be nice to me.” There’s a hint of anger in his voice.

I drop my head and pull forward, but he’s still gripping my neck. Preventing me from escaping him.

I knew he’d demand more from me. He bought me for that one purpose.

I will be nice to him. From tomorrow. Tonight I want to be alone.

I stop in front of the door. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Vahan,” he says and grins at me.

“I’m not allowed to address you by your name.”

“I allow you this.” He runs his knuckles down my cheek. “I allow you to do other things too.”

“Like what for example?”

He takes my wrist and puts my palm on his cheek. My fingers tremble.

He leans towards me and rests his forehead against mine.

I don’t want to kiss him. Do I?

He killed my warmth and sympathy for him inside me by whipping Arnau. Didn’t he?

I slide my forehead down his cheek, and he kisses my temple, his lips so hot against my skin that almost burning.

“I’m not a patient man, Alyssa.”

The message is crystalline cold to me. I put a hand on the back of his neck, rise on my tiptoes and kiss the corner of his mouth; it’s just a peck, but he grunts like it’s deliriously pleasant to him.

“Good,” he says.

His eyes fill with something light and intriguing, taking a few years off his face.

“See you tomorrow, Vahan.”

“See you tomorrow, dzie’ta.” He strokes my hair, turns me round and smacks my ass, shoving me into the narrow hall.

Vahan

I walk towards my house, my mind enveloped by a strange fog. Is this what love feels like—foggy, nauseating, yet deliriously pleasant?

I can’t stop thinking of her plump lips, beautiful tits and round ass.

I can’t wait to drive my dick into her tight virgin cunt.

I can’t stop thinking about the hatred in her eyes each time my glance meets hers.

I pass the house occupied by my soldiers and heaviness presses against my chest. Arnau is my friend. My brother. Now he’s lying on his bed with his back wounded by my whip. I am the law in Nassara. I’m the owner. I have to be strict. Yet a sense of failure courses through me. I humiliated my brother because I bought a beautiful woman. This beautiful woman destroyed our friendship. No, I destroyed it. My origins destroyed it.

I don’t blame the boy though. I would withstand fifty blows of the whip for just one kiss of her lips. I would kill for her.

I will find Arnau a good wife. He deserves to be happy with a good woman by his side.

Vosgi passes me in the opposite direction, dropping her head.

I gave them all peace and safety, yet they see a monster in me. I sometimes want to burn Nassara and go to the mountains and be free.

I can’t do that. My slaves need shelter. My employees need money to feed their families. The Continent is merciless for the poorest, for the weakest. Harsh weather conditions kill in the blink of an eye. The desert is hostile; the mountains are dangerous and unexplored. The estates and cities offer life.

I step into the house and leave smudges of dirt on the floor of the hall. My precious little gem’s hands have polished this floor the whole day. I stop, remove my boots and throw them into the fountain then put them by the pool to dry. That will do.

I go to my office and drop into the chair to write orders for Dardana and Arnau. I’m going to be the host of a business meeting soon.

A thin figure sneaks into the office.

“Yasen,” I say. “Don’t sneak in like a spectre.”

Yasen chuckles and coughs. My heart leaps. He’s so old. He’ll die soon. I watch him drop into the sofa by the arched passage leading to the balcony. His dry body shakes as he wraps his brown robe around his chest.

“You wanted to see me, son?” he asks.

“Yes, but I would have gone to your cave.”

“I needed a walk and some fresh air.”

I rise to my feet and move towards the side table. A balmy breeze rustles the net cream curtain and Yasen cringes into himself. I pour him a glass of wine and throw a blanket over his back. He sips his wine, smacking his lips.

“I can order a doctor to examine you,” I say.

“Don’t you dare.” He nods as his hand trembles and he spills the wine over the floor. “Those idiots are expensive. Not to mention that by the time one of them arrives at Nassara I’ll have been long gone, visiting another dimension.”

I clench my jaw. An old rude stubborn git who always knows better.

“My baby girl will visit you tomorrow,” I say.

“I heard.”

“Teach her to speak our language.”

“I will.” His pale golden eyes fix on mine as he strokes his long white beard. He nods several times. “The house needs kids to run along its corridors.”

“I’m too old.”

He shakes his head and waves his hand to me. I drop into the sofa beside him and he pats my shoulder.

“I want to see kids running in Nassara,” he says, his voice powerful like I remember him from a very long time ago. “Before I’m gone.”

I correct the blanket around him as pain squeezes my heart and we sink into our own thoughts.