Cole

Today has been enlightening, to say the least. I’m fucking exhausted, but before I can go home, or pay Jade another visit, I’ve been tasked with dropping Molly off at her place.

“I still say we kill you off. Think about it, you could start over somewhere else, and they would probably give you a new car too.”

“Fuck off, Cole.” Molly flips me off for the fifth time today.

I can’t fight back the deep chuckle that escapes. This whole entire situation is fucked up. I’m not convinced that her car trouble was mere coincidence. Either way, it gave me the opportunity to have a few minutes alone with her.

In the back of my mind, I can still hear the tiny voice that begs me to give into this woman. To make her mine.

“Do you believe him?” I can sense the worry in her timid voice.

“Dallas? Yeah, I do. Cody’s following up with his story as we speak. Knowing what I know though, I expect it will come back ironclad. Shit, we would have barged in the club a hell of a lot sooner if his boss hadn’t called and delayed us.”

“I was scared. A little,” she admits softly.

Fuck if that confession doesn’t tug at my heartstrings, but I’m not about to admit that to her. “You wanted to run with the big guys.”

“Yeah. I did. I still do. It doesn’t mean I can’t be scared, or nervous,” Molly snaps at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her turn in the passenger seat to face me. “You guys didn’t train me for that part. How do you turn off the fear Cole? What if Dallas wasn’t clean? I panicked, I could have gotten killed, or worse, blew the whole thing.”

It’s not lost on me that she thinks blowing this case would be worse than her death.

Instinctively, I reach over and take her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Start listening to me, yeah?”

“Not a chance.” She laughs.

“You’re fucking infuriating,” I growl.

“Hmm. I feel like I have heard that before.”

“You learn to deal. Do this long enough, and you’re able to shut everything off. Or at the very least, you learn to have a better poker face. Besides that,” I run my thumb over the back of her hand. “You’ve got Cody and me watching your back, always. Nothing would have happened to you.”

“Unless you were too late,” she whispers.

I’m pulling into the parking space outside her apartment building now. Putting the truck in park, I turn to face her. “We won’t ever be too late. I promise you that. But, now – you’re going to start sparring with us, with the whole team. Running through drills and practicing. Until it becomes second nature, and then we keep going. No stopping. The more confidence you have in your abilities, the less nervous you’ll feel.”

Molly gives me a weak nod and half smile. “Okay.” Releasing my hand, she tugs at the hem of her shirt like she’s suddenly nervous around me. “Do you want to come in?”

Fuck yes, I do. “Nah. I’m going to go by Smitty’s see what the new baby’s up to.” It’s when the words leave my mouth that reality really hits me. Jade wasn’t the answer – this time.

She lets out a sweet laugh. “You’re a dork. Babies don’t do anything except eat, sleep and poo.”

It’s my turn to chuckle at her assessment. “Regardless, I’m swinging by his place before I head home.”

With a nod, she climbs out of my truck. Before she shuts the door, I call her name one more time.

“I’m proud of how you handled things today, kid.” I give her a wink, knowing I’ve pissed her off with the ‘kid’ remark. It was a shit move, but I needed to put that space between us again. If I don’t, I’ll be following her inside and stripping her clothes off piece by piece.

“Whatever,” Molly grumbles as she slams the door and heads inside.

A man of my word, once I know she’s tucked safely inside – I make the trek over to Smitty’s house, but not before I call and let him know I’m bringing dinner too. Something I’ve done once a week since Jax has been born, much like I did when Gabby came into the world too.

Forty-five minutes later when I knock on the front door, I hear Gabby squeal and tiny footsteps followed closely behind even bigger footsteps, running for the door.

Smitty answers with Gabby giggling in his arms and a smile plastered on his face.

“This one, is a workout, man,” he says as he stands back to let me in while tickling Gabby’s belly.

“Trade you.” I set the bags down on the table in the entryway and put my hands out for Gabby who is all too happy to escape her daddy’s arms. She and Rhys may have a tight bond, but my Goddaughter loves me equally too.

I mean, she really should too – since I was almost responsible for delivering her. Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but, fuck, I’ll never forget that phone call.

Half asleep at two in the morning when Zoey calls me, completely freaking out because her water broke and Smitty’s not answering his phone. In her state of panic, the woman totally forgot their plan of action for how to get in touch with him if he wasn’t answering.

First thing I did was hop in my truck and head over here. On the way, I called some buddies over at the PD and found out Smitty was responding to a call. For thirty minutes, I stood next to her bedside until Kelsey showed up. I sure as shit wasn’t going to leave her terrified and alone. Then, for another hour and a half, I stood outside her hospital room before Smitty finally walked in. I’m still not sure who was more excited to see his face, Zoey, or me.

“Jesus, are you about to remind me, once again, about how you almost brought Gabby into the world?” Smitty checks me with his elbow as we walk through the house and into his dining room. “You’ve got that terrified look in your eyes again. I swear, I would have thought you’d be over that by now.”

“Over what?” Zoey asks as she joins us with a sleeping Jax cradled in her arms.

“Over how he almost had to cut the cord with Gabby,” Smitty chuckles.

“You’re still not over that?” Zoey yawns and then apologizes for being tired.

I scrunch up my face and blow out a breath. “Pft, I do believe, you have a newborn. Exhaustion comes with the territory. As for Gabby’s birth, I’m way over it. Especially since you both made sure that didn’t happen with that little dude.” I nod to Jax.

They both laugh, letting me know, I’m not as convincing as I think I am. Ignoring them completely, I focus on wrangling Gabby into her high chair and pushing her up to the table instead. “Uncle Cole brought you something special,” I tease her as I sit down in the chair next to her.

There’s a local place not far from Smitty’s house that serves down-home meals, and my favorite little lady happens to love their grilled chicken and mixed veggies. It’s one of my go-to meals when I stop by. That and pizza because really, what kid doesn’t love pizza?

“D, do you want to put Jackson down for me while I put this milk in the freezer? Please.”

I watch the exchange between the two of them – the way Smitty smiles at her, the pure joy on his face as he takes Jax from her and kisses her forehead before walking away. And then, I feel the familiar pain in my chest. It’s the same problem, every time. I can see Molly and I sharing what they have. Just like that jealousy rears its little green head and I feel like a shit friend all over again – for coveting what Smitty and Zoey have worked hard for.

Choosing to ignore those feelings, as usual, I divert my attention and take the time to divvy up the take-out containers before opening Gabby’s and cutting up the chicken into tiny bites. I smile as I give her tiny pieces of the meat and her veggies that she eagerly eats before demanding “more” over and over. Her little squeaky voice gets me every time.

When I look up again, Smitty’s back, and he’s standing with his arms around Zoey. She’s sniffling and wiping at her eyes with her smart-ass husband smirks.

“What is it?” I ask, only mildly concerned by Zoey’s display of emotions.

“You’re...just...so good with her. You’d make a great dad.”

Fucking hell. “No. No, I would not, trust me. Nooope. Uh huh. No. I’m only good a this because she’s not mine. I can’t keep a plant alive, let alone a child. It’s why I don’t babysit, remember?”

Smitty runs his hands up and down Zoey’s arms to comfort her while she sighs.

“You’re wrong Cole. So, wrong. You’ll make a great husband and dad sometime,” she insists.

Thankfully, Smitty bails me out, this time. “Leave the man alone, honey, you keep taunting him, and he’ll wind up too sick to eat his dinner.”

Asshole. I flip him the finger and go back to paying attention to Gabby who’s just smacked my arm with her slobbery hand.

“More,” she pips at me.

“Yeah, yeah kid. Tell your mommy to stop being mean to me,” I mumble and hand her more food.

Lucky for me, Zoey drops the Cole needs to settle down talk over dinner, and instead we catch up on how Jax is doing and what they’ve been up to this week.

When we’re all finished eating, Zoey takes Gabby for a bath and tells Smitty she’s turning in for the night. As soon as she’s out of earshot, Smitty asks about Molly and Dallas.

“Let’s just say it’s all fucked up man. I’m still processing it.” Unfortunately, no matter how much I trust Smitty, I can’t disclose any information about what we found out today.

“You still going to let her strip?”

“Fuck that noise. You know better,” I grunt. “She’s got this crazy idea that we’re not friends anymore either and can’t do friendly things. That’s not happening either.”

“Cole, a bit of advice.” Smitty shakes his head. “I believe you may have told me this same thing once but pull your head out of your ass or give up on her completely. You’ve got feelings for the girl. Act on them.”

“I sort of like being on this side of the dirt, thank you very much,” I tell him, knowing that Paddy would have my ass on a silver platter if I crossed that line. “You and Cody, both keep pushing. I don’t see this ending well.”

“Oh, you’re going to get your ass handed to you either way. She talked to Zoey the other day. You’re breaking her heart man. I think if it was me, I’d want to die knowing I had my wicked way with her first. That seems like a better alternative to me.”

“And when she can’t handle me? I let her walk away?” I already hate myself for the venerable words coming out of my mouth.

“Dude, if Zoey can put up with my bullshit, I know Molly can handle yours. Shit, she spends most of her awake hours with you at work and hasn’t killed you, or ran off, yet.”

Fuck this bastard for always being right.