Chapter Twenty-One
There had to be another pair of pink cowboy boots in the universe, and Dax was determined to find them. Ruby’s toes were sticking out the ends, and one of the boots had stopped lighting up at all. So one afternoon he piled his trusty sidekick into his truck—the two-legged one instead of the four-legged one—and headed to Black Springs to find them.
It turned out that pink cowboy boots with lights were not as common as Dax had assumed. But he did manage to convince Ruby that a pair of tennis shoes with Velcro straps and lights might be a suitable substitute. They walked through a very long aisle of pink and purple shoes, none of them acceptable to the coconut until she suddenly gasped, screeched, “Elsa!” and begged for them.
Elsa, Dax learned, was a character in the Disney movie Frozen, and Ruby seemed more than a little perturbed that he didn’t know it. He reminded her that there were a lot of things that she didn’t know, either, and he didn’t hold that against her.
She wasn’t listening because she was studying every facet of those damn light-up tennis shoes.
This little shopping excursion was, under normal circumstances, the last thing Dax would want to do. He despised shopping in all its forms, and especially with a female, even if that female was six. But it had been a welcome diversion from the constant emotional tug-of-war in him—the worry about Kyra and Ruby, the elation of having a newborn son.
He returned to the cottages and delivered Ruby to Mrs. McCauley, who had invited her to help make a birthday cake for one of her grandchildren. Why anyone would willingly ask for Ruby’s help in the kitchen was beyond Dax, but Ruby was excited. “Remember,” he said as he walked her up to the big Victorian house on the hill, “you need to include all the ingredients.”
“Maybe we can put M&M’S in the cake. Taleesha’s mom makes cupcakes with M&M’S in them.”
When they reached the door, Mrs. McCauley was waiting for them.
“Her mother should be home in a couple of hours,” Dax said.
“That will be perfect,” Mrs. McCauley said. “It takes time to create great cake art for my granddaughter.”
“How old is she?” Ruby asked.
“Well, the truth is, I forget how old any of them are, but I know it’s Mia’s birthday because I wrote it down.” She winked at Ruby and took her by the hand. “Don’t worry about us, Dax.”
Well, that was impossible.
He walked down to his cottage, but as he neared it, Kyra’s Subaru pulled into the drive at Number Three. As he walked across the lawn, Kyra stepped out of her car. She was wearing red pencil jeans and a sleeveless denim shirt. Her hair was pulled back into one long tail. She had on huge, dark sunglasses, and as he couldn’t see her eyes, he couldn’t determine her mood. She looked like the tourists who strolled up and down Main Street.
She waited for him, leaning against the fender of her car. When he reached her, Dax took the sunglasses from her face and studied her.
“What?” she said, brushing her fingers across her cheek. “Do I have something on me?”
“Nope. I just needed to see your face. I thought you were at work.”
“I was. I left early to go check on some things.”
“What things?”
She smiled a little. “Money things.” She pushed away from her car and started toward the cottage. “Where’s Ruby?”
“She and Mrs. McCauley are making a cake,” he said, following her. “What money things?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing. I went by social services,” she said. “I thought maybe there was some program, something to help me with the cost of Ruby’s care.” She glanced over her shoulder. “There’s not. And surgery is expensive.”
Dax walked with her into the kitchen. “But you have insurance.”
Kyra snorted. “Crappy insurance. A huge deductible and a low ceiling of maximum expenses. You know . . . the cheapest I could find. And I actually make too much money to qualify for aid. How ironic is that?”
“How much money do you need?” he asked.
“A lot. I’m looking at at least ten thousand in out-of-pocket expenses. And then there are things that aren’t covered, like any psychotherapy she might need because of the trauma, and some of the rehabilitation.”
Dax felt lucky to have good insurance. It cost him a small fortune, but it was excellent coverage, particularly for out-of-pocket expenses, and . . .
And why didn’t I think of this before? I have excellent insurance.
The idea that just occurred to him was ridiculous. Really far out there. He looked at Kyra as she sifted through some bills on her kitchen table. God, but she was beautiful. The last couple of weeks had been so tense he’d forgotten to notice.
She glanced up and smiled, her gaze questioning. “What? I know, you’re going to tell me to quit being such a sad sack, right?” Her smiled turned rueful. “I’m working on it, I swear I am.”
“That’s not what I was thinking.”
She waited for him to explain. Dax had to think of how to say it.
Kyra tucked a strand of hair away from her face and laughed a little. “You’re worrying me now. You look so serious.”
“I was thinking that I have excellent insurance.”
She nodded, but her expression didn’t change. She didn’t get what he was saying.
So Dax said it again. “I have excellent insurance.”
Kyra’s expression changed to surprise. “Dax . . .”
“Just hear me out, okay?” he asked. “What I’m about to say is for Ruby’s sake. You and I could get married, and I could put her on my insurance. It’s against the law now to deny her coverage. She would be covered. You wouldn’t be out so much money.”
Kyra was shaking her head before he’d finished his sentence. “No, Dax. I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not?”
“Why not?” she echoed incredulously. “Haven’t you done enough for us? Don’t you see how you’re always bailing me out? I won’t let you sacrifice everything for us. I won’t do it.”
“It’s for Ruby—”
“I don’t care. It’s not fair to you.”
“Look, we’ve been great together, haven’t we? It could work. And it would be a huge help to you.”
“We’ve only been together a month. You’re talking crazy.”
“Let’s assume it could be great,” he said. “But if it’s not, okay, we divorce when she’s in the clear. But the point is, you don’t have to worry about money or coverage and you can concentrate on being there for her.”
“You don’t get it, Dax,” she said, sounding frustrated now. “I don’t want you to save us. I want to be an equal, not an anvil around your neck, and so far Ruby and I are the anvil that just keeps getting heavier.”
He didn’t agree with that. He’d been happy to be needed for a change, and he was disappointed in her adamant rejection of his idea. “We’re talking about your daughter’s health, Kyra. Not your idea of what this relationship should look like.”
Kyra laughed. “You think you can shame me? Get in line. If anyone should be helping me right now, it’s Josh Burton, not you. If I have to, I’ll get a lawyer. He needs to pony up.” She picked up a towel and began to wipe down her countertops with a vengeance.
Dax watched her. He felt weird. Like maybe he’d read this situation with Kyra all wrong. Like he’d forgotten all about his broken heart when maybe he should have been tending the cracks. “Getting lawyered up to go after a man who hasn’t seen his daughter could take more time than you have.”
“Maybe. Maybe not,” she said. She put down the towel and turned around, folding her arms across her body. “Dax . . . I can’t thank you enough for being there for me. I have needed you so much—but I think maybe I’ve needed you too much.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, frowning.
“I’m not sure,” she said and glanced down a moment. “But the balance is all wrong between us.” She risked another look at him. “I need to think about it.”
Alarm bells began to sound in Dax’s brain. This thing between them, this amazing, wonderful thing, felt as if it was suddenly in danger of exploding. “Okay,” he said with a shrug, as if he didn’t care, which couldn’t be further from the truth. “But the offer stands. Think about it.” He glanced at his watch. “I need to get some work done.” Not true. He just needed to get out of there. He stepped around her and walked out of her cottage. And he kept walking all the way to his house without looking back. What was wrong with helping her when she needed him? Why did it have to be equal? Life wasn’t equal. Life was ups and downs and it wasn’t equal for anyone.
Dax had a frozen meal that night, one he found deep in his freezer and the first he’d had in a few weeks. Funny how one’s dining habits changed when one was part of a couple.
After that unsatisfying meal, Dax wandered around his cottage. He was too at odds with himself to work. He took Otto for a long walk along the lakeshore, where he debated with himself over and over again. Had he lost his sense of how to be in a relationship? Was he wrong about what he’d felt between him and Kyra? Had it all been wishful thinking on his part? Or was Kyra simply running scared? Yes, what had happened to them was a lot to digest after only a few short weeks of being an item, he got that, and Kyra had raised valid points . . . but Dax thought there was something deeper to them, something that allowed them to hopscotch over the insecurities.
Whether he was wrong or right, he felt some uncomfortable rumblings in his heart. It was scooting back on its shelf, clinging to the wall at its back in fear of falling and shattering on the cold stone floor of truth.
He turned in early because he couldn’t work and he couldn’t read. But his sleep was shallow, his mind plagued with doubts. Nevertheless, he was asleep when a sound startled him awake. He shot upright and reached for something to swing.
“Dax, it’s me,” Kyra whispered.
His heart was pounding, and he eased back against the headboard of his bed. “What the hell? You scared me, Kyra. I could have hit you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but it seemed weird to throw rocks against your window when your door was standing open.”
“My door was standing open?”
“Wide open.”
“No wonder that damn dog didn’t warn me you were here,” he said and sighed. “Wait—what are you doing here in the middle of the night? Is everything okay? Is Ruby—”
“She’s asleep.” Kyra climbed onto the foot of his bed and started to crawl her way up his body, straddling him. And then she was on his lap, her hands braced against his chest. “Does the offer still stand?”
He studied her in the dim light. He didn’t know if they were still out of balance, but he covered her hands with his and said, “Yes. Absolutely.”
“It’s a weird offer,” she said and leaned down to kiss his cheek.
“Don’t care.” He caressed her, his hand moving over the pajama bottoms that felt like liquid silk beneath his hand.
“It’s insane if you would take two seconds to think about it.”
“What’s your point?” he asked gruffly.
She kissed his other cheek. “I want to tell you that I love you, Dax, but I won’t say it. Not yet, anyway,” she said and nibbled his ear. “Because I don’t want you to think I am telling you I love you simply because you bailed me out. Again. That’s not why.”
He tried to look at her, but she moved to his neck. “Do you love me?” he asked.
“I just told you,” she said, her voice light. “I can’t tell you that.” She moved down to his chest, trailing her tongue and lips across him. “But I accept your marriage proposal.” And she kept moving down his chest, to his hips, dragging his boxers down with her.
Dax sank back into his pillow. He was smiling for obvious reasons—and gasping with sheer delight when she took him in her mouth—but it wasn’t just the physical pleasure. Someone had opened a window in the heavens, and the sun was shining bright in that dark room. Dax hadn’t expected to be happy that Kyra would accept his offer of sudden engagement, but he was. In some strange way, this unusual arrangement felt right to him, like it was supposed to happen this way. He’d done something good for a change.
And he was shockingly happy about it.