Recording doesn’t have to be this hard. Jacen Goodwin scrubbed his face with both hands. He’d listened to the demo for Revulsion four times and hated the tracks. No amount of playing would make them better. Then again, he wouldn’t have signed the band if he were in charge of finding the talent for the record label.

“Well?” Nate Whitman, the head tech, folded his arms. “What do you think?”

“Want my honest opinion or a Christmas one?” Jacen asked. He leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together behind his head. “Makes a world of difference.”

“Don’t blow smoke up my ass. It’s crap, isn’t it?” Whitman groaned and shoved away from the console. “Fuck. I knew they weren’t ready, but no one wanted to listen to me. I still swear the referral from Rory was bullshit, too.”

Jacen stared at Whitman for a long time and didn’t say anything. He trusted his former band leader and current best friend more than he did for a lot of people. He knew damn well Rory hadn’t referred the band. Rory had his hands full back in Dallas with his fiancée and the Nathalia hotel. The tour might have brought them to the lone star state, but the bus accident had been the catalyst for Rory. Not only had he found his desire to write and create music again, but he’d found the love he deserved. Cady complemented Rory. But no amount of happiness for Rory would blind him in the recording studio. Rory needed perfection and Revulsion wasn’t anywhere near good. They’d barely registered as decent.

“Well?” Whitman left his chair. “It sure feels like someone is pulling a fucking stunt.” He glared at Jacen. “This is why I keep telling you two to come back. We need you at the helm here. He knows talent and you know how to get the bands worked out.”

“Maybe, but Rory’s happy with Cady in Dallas.” Truth be told, he wanted to get back to Dallas, too. He’d left things a mess with Matt. He’d started a relationship he couldn’t maintain—not back then. Now a year down the road he knew what he wanted…to sort things out with Matt. But he had other shit to worry about at the moment. Like Whitman and the band.

“That’s it. I’m dumping them. I’ll tell Angus that this just won’t work. I can’t waste more time.” Whitman slapped the console. “Angus? Now.”

“Wow. You’ve gotten forceful. Angus actually listens to you?” Jacen shrugged. “Whatever. I need to go.”

The muscle in Whitman’s jaw tightened. “Wait. Will you?” He clicked the lock on the control room door. “I’ve missed you. Dude, you’re always gone. Rory…okay, I get it. He wants to be with his new chick. I’d rather he be here because then we can get work done. Now that he’s got a studio at the hotel. He’s crazy.”

“The studio is making money. People want to record there and if they can’t, then they play there. The concert series is wicked popular.” He groaned. He wished he was there working on music and sorting his life out. Instead, he’d come home to San Francisco to fulfill contracts. No matter what he did, nothing seemed to make sense. Each contact seemed to lead to another one and his reasons to get back to Dallas kept evaporating.

“People want to record here, too. Like Revulsion. Goddamn it. They’re kids. They need practice.” Whitman bridged the gap between him and Jacen. “We’re not children any longer.” He flattened his palm on Jacen’s chest. “You like me. I like you. What’s holding us back from taking this to the next level?”

Oh fuck. He closed his fingers over Whitman’s palm. Whitman was certainly handsome. From his sun-kissed blond hair, his natural tan and beachy look, he turned heads. He had a big heart, too.  He and Whitman were great in bed, decent in the recording studio, but didn’t work out in public. Whitman was too clingy. He needed constant reassurance that they were together. Jacen wanted someone who could stand on their own.

“I can see it in your eyes. You want me. Angus won’t be here for another few minutes.” Whitman brushed his lips across Jacen’s mouth. “Come on.”

The desire to drop trou and let Whitman have his way crossed his mind. Whitman gave good head and usually with enthusiasm, but was he worth the hassle? He wasn’t sure and didn’t want to deal with the ramifications afterwards. If Whitman decided they were still together, he’d screw over any chances Jacen might have with Matt.

“You know you want me.” Whitman wound his arms around Jacen’s neck. “I’ve thought about you a lot over the last year.”

“I can’t.” He nudged Whitman away. “I just can’t.” He might not have another chance with Matt, but damn it, he couldn’t fuck things up. He wanted to come to Matt with a clean heart. If he slept with Whitman or gave in to a blow job, he’d be lying to everyone.

“You met someone? In the last year? Who?” Whitman sank onto the office chair. “You told me to wait for you.” Red infused his tanned cheeks and his green eyes widened. He threaded his fingers into his hair. “I should’ve known.”

“Whoa.” He hated complication and Whitman kept proving to be a ton of it. “First, I never said to wait. I wasn’t sure what I wanted or how I wanted to live my life before that tour started. Second, I did meet someone, but I won’t disclose names.” He left the console and unlocked the door. “I need to go. I’m supposed to catch the jet to Dallas in an hour. If I don’t meet Rory on time, he’ll flip out.”

Whitman folded his arms again. “Is the guy hot?” he murmured. “Like…off the charts hot?”

He stuffed his hands into his shorts pockets. He had to think about how he wanted to answer. If he said the wrong thing, he’d fuck everything up. “It’s complicated. Yes, he’s hot. I’m attracted to him, but I can’t say he’s the one. I’m not sure I would know the right one if he slugged me in the head.”

“But you’re going there to see him.” Whitman nodded. “I get it.” He met Jacen’s gaze. His ears tinged red and the corner of his mouth twitched. “Well, when he gets bored with you, then come back. I’m…I won’t push you away.”

“Nate.” He couldn’t do that to the guy. “Maybe this is the break we need. You’re not happy with me. Never have been. I can’t commit to you the way you deserve. I’m always gone on tour and I can’t slow down. I’m a free spirit.”

“I understand. I don’t like it and I wish I could change your mind, but whatever.” Whitman bowed his head. “Come back and make music with me soon. I’ll be here.”

“We’ll see.” He patted his pockets for his keys, phone and wallet. The chain from his wallet to his belt loop clinked. Satisfied he had everything, he ducked out of the recording studio. He hated to let people down, but he and Whitman weren’t going to work out. He never should’ve gotten into a relationship with him in the first place, but he’d been lonely. The first time had been after his split from his ex-boyfriend Trevor, then once he’d come back to California, he’d gone back to Whitman. Christ. He’d wanted something familiar after he and Matt…split? Not really. They’d simply decided to go their separate ways. Matt didn’t want to leave Dallas and Jacen couldn’t stay put for more than a few weeks.

Matt’s words lingered in his brain. “You deserve better.”

He didn’t think he did. He’d been a jerk to so many people, all in favor of the music and the band. Pleasing the fans trumped his personal life. God. What had he been thinking?

Jacen climbed behind the wheel of his sports car and engaged the engine. He’d lost his damn mind. For a few moments, he’d thought about hooking up with Whitman. He’d get a few seconds of relief and an orgasm, but nothing permanent. Whitman didn’t make his heart beat.

A shadow darkened his window. “Jace.”

He knew that voice. “Hey, Todd. What’s up?”

“You’re heading to the airport, right? Then to Dallas?” Todd gripped the window frame. “Got room for me?”

“I…sure. I thought you hated Dallas.” He waited until his guitarist rounded the hood and climbed into the passenger seat. Jacen gripped the gear shift. “What changed?”

“Nothing necessarily.” Todd clicked his seatbelt into place. “Rory called and wanted to record some stuff. I guess he’s got a whole book of music written. The guy is nuts.”

“He trusts you with the music. You’ll translate it the way he hears it.” He sped out of the lot and into traffic. “Do you need to stop by your apartment?”

“No. This won’t be a long trip. I’ll be fine at the Nathalia for a couple of days.”

“Good deal.” Jacen switched lanes and headed along the highway. With any luck, he’d make it to the airport in record time. As soon as he turned onto the freeway, his chances for a quick drive went out the window. He stopped in the mass of snarled traffic and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. At least he had someone to talk to rather than getting lost in his thoughts.

“So…you’re here and headed to the airport.” Todd didn’t look at him. “Going to see Matt?”

“Not specifically. I’m reporting to the studio on Rory’s command.” Liar. He’d go to the studio after he saw Matt.

“Right.” Todd shifted in his seat and crossed his ankles. “You’re delusional. I’m sure you’re going to make music, but you’re going to make time with that hot piece of ass behind the counter first.”

“Todd. Dude.”

“Please. I know you. I’ve been there since college. You and Rory think you can blow smoke up everyone’s asses. Maybe you can with others, but not me.” Todd snorted. “Whitman sure as shit isn’t good for you.”

“Oh Jesus.” Thank God the traffic started to move. Once he got to the airport, he’d be out of the car and away from Todd for a few moments. “You don’t know.”

“Uh…I do. I saw him fucking some guy outside of the studio last week. He’ll bring you nothing but trouble. You don’t deserve that. You’re beating yourself up because you have this fucked up notion you’re not good enough for anyone.” Todd shook his head and smoothed his hand over his mouth. “You’re like Leigh when I first met her. She thought she’d never be good enough. She saved me.”

He sped down the freeway to the exit for the airport. “You got a good partner. I’m not meant to have one of those.” Not for long-term. Christ. He hated himself. He’d screwed so many people without much thought and dumped perfectly good relationships on account of his fear. He knew he’d want out and stopped before things got too serious. He’d done the same thing to Matt and when Matt said he’d keep the relationship to just sex, he hadn’t argued. But Jacen wanted more.

“So you’re going to go there, fuck him, dick with his head and leave again?” Todd asked. “Don’t.”

“He doesn’t want a permanent relationship. He’s still feeling out a couple of other situations.” That’s what Matt had told him, but somewhere in the back of his mind he didn’t believe Matt’s words.

“He probably said that so you wouldn’t feel compelled to come around again. The bastard’s smarter than you give him credit for and now you’re going to uproot his life,” Todd said. “If any part of you cares about him—even if it’s just hoping he has a nice life after you leave—then you owe it to him to be honest and to leave him alone. I bet he’s just now getting over you.”

He had no idea, but guessed Todd was probably right. He turned off of the freeway onto the roads leading to the airport. The car bounced on the bumps and potholes along the pavement. He glanced ahead at the gate leading to the back of the hangar. Another car pulled through the doorway.

“Who’s that?” Jacen asked. “I didn’t ask who all was flying out, but come on. Rory doesn’t let just anyone on the plane.”

“Our beloved control freak? I know.” Todd moved his sunglasses down his nose. “I don’t recognize the car, either, but we’re pulling in behind them so we’ll find out. If it’s the paparazzi, I’m not leaving this vehicle.”

“Can’t say I blame you.” He stopped at the gate and swiped his card through the reader. The door opened to the inside of the hangar. He rolled the car forward into the building and parked along the side in the lined spots. Although he’d seen the other car from a distance, up close he knew damn well who was in their hangar. “Fuck,” he muttered. He should’ve known his past would catch up to him. Bryce Morgan, C-list actor-slash-trust fund baby, was one of the few decisions he deeply regretted.

“What?” Todd sat up in his seat. “Oh fucking balls. You’re kidding me. I thought you and that shit split up.”

He’d thought his relationship with Bryce was long over with, too. His ex-fling had moved on to another musician, then a couple of actors before he hooked up with a professional football player. What in the hell did he want from Jacen now?

He stopped the car and pulled the keys from the ignition. “Here goes nothing,” he said just loud enough for Todd to hear him. “Stick close. I want witnesses.”

“You’ve got ‘em. That bastard is recording all of this and he brought the circus.” Todd nodded to the door that hadn’t shut. Paparazzi huddled together and snapped photos. Some shouted and one argued with the guards.

“That’s what he wanted. Someone to help him get into the papers again.” Jacen kept his back to his ex. “Damn it.”

“Check yourself. Here he comes,” Todd said. He stuck his hands into his jeans pockets. “Attention seeker incoming.”

“Riot. Blaze. How the hell are you?” Bryce rounded Jacen and slapped him on the shoulder. “Long time.” He yanked Jacen into a bear hug. “Feels good to see you again. I’ve missed nights with you.”

“I haven’t.” He plastered a smile on his face. Fucking balls. No one called him by his stage name—not anyone who wasn’t a fan. His friends used his given name. Truth be told, he wasn’t fond of the stage name any longer, but he kept it because he loved the boys in the band. Disaster Transport had been his band of brothers during the bad times. Without them, he would’ve lost his shit multiple times over.

Jacen glanced over at Bryce and groaned. The photos of them would end up on the internet and the scandal magazines. Bryce probably organized the whole thing just to get hits for his personal brand.

“Silly.” Bryce kept his arm around Jacen. “I hear you’re heading off to the sunshine.”

“Meaning you have no idea where we’re going.” Jacen shrugged away from Bryce. “Todd? We need to…do something.”

Bryce kept up beside Jacen. “Wherever you’re going, I want in. I need to get out of this town.”

“Why? Your baller dumped you?” Todd asked.

“We’re taking a break.” Bryce dropped his voice to a whisper. “Because of you. He saw pictures of us together and got mad. He said he wanted someone who was all in. Not half or thinking about someone else.”

“You probably planted them.” Jacen grabbed his bag from the trunk of the convertible. “Look, we have to go. Can’t bring anyone else. The manifest is already filed. Can’t bring anyone else along.” He hefted the bag over his shoulder. “Todd.”

“Hawaii, here we come.” Todd nudged Jacen toward the opposite end of the hangar and away from Bryce.

“Hawaii,” Bryce called. “Wait.”

“Keep walking.” Jacen sped up and kept beside Todd. “If we go faster, we’ll look like we’re retreating, but we should make it to the plane before he can and they should close the door before he gets there. I won’t let the flight crew allow him onto the plane.”

“Smart.” Todd filed in behind Jacen as he went up the steps into the aircraft. “Hurry your ass up.”

“Sorry.” He tripped on the carpeting just inside the plane and tumbled forward. Pain exploded in his cheek as he collided with the cupboards. “Fucking balls!”

“Dude.” Todd jumped over him and tossed the bag onto the closest seat. “Your face is already purple.”

Purple? The entire left side of his face hurt like a bitch. He slumped on the floor and groaned. “I feel like I went a hundred rounds with a prize fighter.”

“You look like it, too.” Todd offered his hand. “Come on. The flight isn’t long. I’ll call Rory. He’ll probably get a doctor to meet us at the airport.” He hefted Jacen to his feet and steered him over to a seat. He snorted. “You’re going to look so sexy for Matt.”

He groaned again and collapsed on the captain’s chair. “It’s that bad, isn’t it?”

“You smacked your face. Yeah, it’s bad.” Todd sighed as the flight attendant closed the jet door. “But we made it without Bryce.”

“Bet you anything that ass is talking to the paparazzi and telling them I fucked him over.” He winced. “We’ve got ice packs on here, don’t we?”

“Uh-huh.” Todd rummaged through the refrigerator. He held up a blue ice pack. “Let me get a towel.” He wrapped the pack, then sat opposite of Jacen. “You probably shouldn’t fly with that bruise. In case you did damage.”

“I’ll be fine.” Once he got back to Dallas and saw Matt, things would work out. “We survived a stalker, a shooter and the fire in Cleveland. We’ll get through this.” He had to believe what he said because if he didn’t, he’d never convince Todd. Besides, Bryce was foolish, but he wasn’t that dangerous…was he?