I contemplate leaving Phoebe alone. Give her time to process whatever is going on with her, but I can’t. That’s not how we are and that’s not who we are. We talk. She’s my best friend. I’m hers. We are more than this.
More.
Just like I promised her.
I follow her down the steps and the moment my feet hit the sand, I see her standing in the distance, her feet just where the water breaks along her toes. Even though it’s been warm all day, the water must be freezing tonight. We’ve only been here a few weeks, not enough time for us to acclimate like the locals. Phoebe’s arms are wrapped around her waist as she looks at the ocean. I’m about to call her name when I see her wipe her cheek, and I know she’s crying.
Fuck.
I approach slowly, and before I’m able to say anything, she speaks.
“I need this, Mads.”
I hear desperation and sadness in her voice. A piece of me breaks. Yeah that’s probably not the most masculine thing I’ve said, but I love this girl. Phoebe Stromberg is the strongest and most amazing person I know. She may not think so, and she definitely doesn’t give herself enough credit. But I know who she is and how resilient she is. Those are all the reasons why, when I hear the pain in her voice, I want to throw away both of my job offers and give her everything she wants.
Everything she deserves.
Instead, I wrap my arms around her waist, tugging her back to my front, allowing a space for her to nestle her head between my shoulder and neck. I don’t say anything for a few minutes. I know this is a moment for us. One of those pivotal ones we’ll look back on as a make-it-or-break-it situation. I kiss her temple and tighten my hold on her.
“I know, babe. I’m not trying to sound like a dick. I promise. It’s . . . well, I have some news myself.”
Phoebe turns toward me, her hands resting on my hips, looking up at me through her lashes. Dammit.
“I have offers.”
“Offers? As in, more than one?” She smiles at me but it’s a half-smile. Not a “I’m so happy for you, love of my life” kind of smile. I kiss her tenderly before smiling.
“Yep. Two.” I tug her closer to me, tightening my grip on her hips. She smiles as she rests her hands on my biceps, absentmindedly rubbing circles.
“That’s wonderful. I’m so proud of you. Did you choose one?” She’s trying too hard to convey support, but I can tell it’s forced.
“No. I wanted to talk to you about it. About us, really. Which position would work best for us. One is more travel and, while it also means more money and opportunity, it would mean I’d be gone a lot. And, both are in New York. I know we haven’t talked about moving there, but, Phoebe, it’s New York City.”
“You should take whichever is best for your career.”
“No. I will not make a decision alone. This isn’t just about me, babe. This is about us.”
Phoebe pulls from my embrace and starts walking down the shoreline. I follow her. The moonlight spotlights the sand, and I watch her dodge a few big pieces of driftwood. After a few strides, I fall in step alongside her and grab her hand. Neither of us speaks, the only sounds are the waves rolling in and the occasional voice from the homes above. I know Phoebe well enough to know she’s processing everything and weighing her options. I’m sure she’s created some sort of list in her mind and has rearranged it at least twice already. I stop and start to sit on the sand while pulling Phoebe’s hand, drawing her onto my lap.
“Talk to me. I don’t like this silence thing.” I’m not opposed to begging for communication. I’ll bust out the big guns. And by guns I don’t mean my dick. I mean the words in her cheesy romance movies.
Adjusting herself so she’s straddling me, Phoebe places her hands on my face. It’s like she’s memorizing it. The moonlight is enough that I can make out the glossiness of her eyes. “I want to stay here,” she whispers. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I think I need this.”
My hands go to the top of her head, slowly caressing her hair until I reach her shoulders. I push her long hair back from her face and off her shoulders, wrapping it around my hand before pulling her face forward for a kiss. Slow at first, I take her lips with mine. She lets me, sweetly and cautiously at first. It reminds me of childhood kisses, nothing like the passion Phoebe and I have now. Tugging at her bottom lip with mine, I suck a little, which causes Phoebe to gasp. I take that as my opportunity to deepen the kiss. With each stroke of my tongue, I feel her melt into me. In seconds, we’re wrapped up in each other, so close our hearts sync, and I hope she knows this is it. This is what it’s all about. This feeling of us together, the way we fit together. Ying and yang.
I know she’s been lost, not knowing where she’s headed in life. I don’t care if she figures out a career. I’ll take care of Phoebe for the rest of her life if she’ll let me. But, I also know that will kill her. She’d lose her independence, and that’s not who she is. She needs this job, this opportunity.
But, I do too. Job offers aren’t being handed out to recent graduates, and I recognize this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. For each of us; it’s our time. That may mean we’re apart for a while.
“Mads,” she moans as I lift my hips creating friction between us. The skirt of her dress is up around her hips, and if someone were to walk by, they’d see her ass, and I’d have to beat their ass. Thankfully, this beach is deserted.
“Phoebe,” I begin before pulling away from her. I look at my girl, and while I can’t see the expression on her face, I know what she’s feeling. “Baby, I want you with me . . .”
“But, I . . .”
“Let me finish, Phoebs.” I kiss her again, forcing her to stop talking. My hands move down her ass and grip it. A smile greets my movement, and I do it again but this time receive a moan. Sliding one finger around to the front I rub the place I know sends Phoebe over the edge in seconds. I’ve been gone a week; we’re both horny as fuck.
“As much as I want you with me in New York, and forever, I know you, and if you think you need to be here then that’s where you need to be. I love you, baby.” My finger makes small circles over her bundle of nerves, never slipping under her thong as she begins to move her hips ensuring her orgasm will hit her in seconds. “We’ll figure this out. We can have it all. Just maybe not today.”
Before I finish the last words, Phoebe unravels on my lap. Her orgasm is quick and intense. Her breathing is labored, and mine isn’t far off. Watching her come beats any other moment in my day. Before she can settle, I flip her over so she’s on her back with me nestled between her legs. I kiss her neck, and she writhes beneath me. Phoebe’s nails scratch my back as she rubs her hands under my shirt and up my back. Chills blanket my skin with goosebumps, and I tug her panties down as she quickly moves her hands to the button of my shorts.
“Mads,” she whispers in my mouth while pulling my dick from my shorts and boxers. Her feet lift to my hips and try to tug my shorts down but make no progress. I lift onto my knees and slide them down so they sit on my thighs as Phoebe pulls the skirt of her dress up. I stop to look at her, and as much as it kills me, I know things are changing.
I pull the top of her dress down so her nipples pop out. The breeze, and probably how turned on she is, cause them to harden into beautiful peaks. My fingers tug on one as I lean down, holding myself up with my forearm. Phoebe’s back arches, lifting her chest, and I take her nipple in my mouth. Sucking. Tugging. She squirms, and I line myself up to her as she tugs her panties aside. Before I remind her how great we are together as one, I pause and look at her.
“Baby, we’re going to make it. I believe in us. We’re more.”
A single tear spills from her eye, then another. “More,” she whispers as I thrust into her. I rotate my hips. Each movement takes me deeper into her. Each thrust, each sway of my hips, reminds Phoebe and me how much more we really are.
Touches and nibbles between us. The sounds of skin on skin with nothing surrounding us but sand and surf. I feel Phoebe’s climax building, and it only encourages me to go deeper. I lift her ass with my hands, giving me more access. It’s then that her breath hitches and her orgasm takes over. I follow seconds later but don’t pull out right away; I let her milk me.
I kiss her forehead, then each eye, both of which are still leaking with what I hope is love and not sadness, before settling on her mouth.
“Do you trust me?”
She nods.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“Okay.”
“I’m proud of you,” I say as I pull from her.
“For coming so hard?”
Her voice is teasing, and she’s sitting up with a smile on her face. A real smile. Not that bullshit half smile she gave me earlier. This is my Phoebe. The one who is full of sass and stubborn to the core. The girl who makes me laugh and the woman who makes me want to be a better man.
“Well, I mean you should be thanking me for that,” I tease, standing and pulling my shorts up as I watch her tug off her panties and wipe her leg. Downside to no more condoms—a mess.
“Whatever, ass. Oh look. You checked off one of my sexet list.”
“Sexet list?”
“Yeah, a sex bucket list.” Her tone tells me she’s rolling her eyes.
“Yep, looks like in the ocean is all that’s left.” I nod toward the black abyss next to us and chuckle.
Phoebe stuffs her panties in my pocket, which I think I’ll be keeping if we’re going to be doing this relationship from two different coasts. I grab her hand and pull her toward me, kissing her long and hard.
“Don’t be so sure. I’ve been reading a lot of smut while you were gone. I have ideas, and we only have two weeks left here.” She leaves me standing there stunned at her proclamation. Getting my bearings, I run to catch up to her, lift her over my shoulder, and walk quickly toward the water.
“Don’t you dare! It’s freezing!”
“Tell me what you’re talking about,” I demand while smacking her now completely bare ass.
“Mmm . . . maybe some of that.”
That stops me, and I put her down. Before I can say anything, she laughs and walks away. Like the good little puppy I am, I follow and listen as she laughs the entire way back to the stairs.