I’m freezing cold when we get back. I don’t waste any time stripping my clothes off and climbing right into the shower.

The hot water feels incredible. I let it roll off my body and as I stand there, sobs slowly wrench themselves from my chest.

That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever been through. I’ve always been terrified of swimming in open water, but add on the midnight darkness, I was constantly imagining some kind of monster coming up and eating my body. I kept seeing myself yanked under the water, into the inky darkness, as something wrenched me into pieces with its teeth.

The only thing that kept me going was Julian. He swam and he swam and he didn’t give up. I couldn’t let myself give up, either, at least for him. I wanted to crawl into a ball and die but I kept moving.

I get out of the shower and towel off. Julian’s sitting at the table, the suitcase in front of him. He’s not wearing anything, just a towel around his shoulders and a pair of boxer briefs. He looks up at me and gives me a little lopsided smile.

“Well, you were right.” He holds up the suitcase and shows me the plastic-wrapped bricks. “It’s heroin all right.”

I bite my lip, staring at it. I remember that stuff vividly, the taste of it on my tongue as it enters my veins, the pleasure of it as my eyes roll back into my head and bliss slides over my skin and…

I turn away from the suitcase, wrapping my arms around my chest.

“Shit,” Julian says softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

He stands up and slams the suitcase shut. I watch as he walks over to the closet, opens it, and finds the safe. He shoves the stuff in there, shutting it, and setting a code. I don’t watch the numbers and I don’t want to know.

He turns toward me. “You did good tonight,” he says.

“Thanks.” I can’t meet his gaze.

He comes closer. I’m wearing a pair of panties and a loose t-shirt. He stops in front of me, his hands teasing the hem of my shirt.

“You did really good,” he says softly. “We made it.”

“She did that.” I meet his eyes. “You know that, right?”

He winces. “We don’t know for sure.”

“She betrayed us.”

I want to scream at him. It’s so obvious and I don’t know why he’s still covering for her. She played him, played us both. She set a trap and nearly got us, if it weren’t for that stupid, suicidal move we pulled.

“Maybe,” he finally admits. “And if she did, she’ll pay for it.”

“How? We’re still so far down the rabbit hole, there’s no end in sight.”

He puts his hands on my shoulders. I feel a tingle down my spine. “Kaylee,” he says softly. “I’m taking care of you.”

I narrow my eyes. “What?”

“I’m taking care of you.” He’s inches away, his hands moving down to my hips. His fingers feel so good against my bare skin as he pushes my shirt up just enough.

“No, you’re not,” I whisper.

“I’m taking care of you,” he says again.

“No.” It barely comes out.

“I’m taking care of you.” He pulls me against his body and kisses me, deep and slow.

I kiss him back, stifling a sob. I don’t know why it comes out like that. I don’t know why that simple little phrase gets so deep into me, but it does. He’s taking care of me, it’s not that insane, not that crazy… but it makes me feel something I can’t really describe.

He pulls my shirt off and his hands cup my breasts. I kiss him deeper, needing him so badly it almost hurts. All the fear is still inside of me, all the fear and longing and even that stupid sick desire for drugs, all still deep inside of me. It hasn’t gone anywhere, I’ve just managed to shove it down into my core.

He’s my kidnapper, a killer, a bastard. His touch feels so good it makes me want to cry.

I fumble at his boxer briefs but I pull them down. He’s half hard as I take him in my hands, and I love feeling him get harder in my palm. I stroke him slowly as he teases my breasts, kissing me deep. I need him hard, nice and rock hard, and he gets there for me. I drop to my knees, feeling so stupid and foolish and desperate as I take his cock into my mouth.

He’s salty from the ocean water, and I actually like it. I suck him fast, sloppy, and sensual. I take him as far into my throat as I can, gagging but ignoring it. I love his groan as I stroke his shaft and suck his tip. I love his taste, the way I can barely fit his massive cock in my mouth, the way he can so easily overpower me.

He wraps his fingers through my wet hair and holds it tight, pushing me down again. I gag and go deeper, taking his whole cock into my throat. I didn’t think I could, but he presses deep and I let him. He pulls me back and I gasp, stroking him with both hands and staring up into his monstrous, gorgeous eyes.

He pulls me to my feet, practically tearing off my panties. He bends me over the bed and spanks my ass nice and hard, pushing my face against the comforter. My head’s turned toward the safe and I can see the spot where he locked up the drugs. It’s so fucked but I stare at it as he spanks my ass again.

Pleasure blooms through my skin. His fingers slowly find my wet pussy, sliding inside of me, and I groan. He spanks me, fingers me from behind, dominating me completely. He grabs my hair and pulls it back as his fingers piston in and out, not being subtle, not being gentle. He’s fucking me for my sins.

Or he’s fucking me because we nearly died not too long ago.

We barely survived. I think he knows it as much as I do. There was a moment in that water when I thought I might give up, just drift down into the inky depths and let myself go. I could see it happening so clearly, so easily. I’d take a deep breath, let the saltwater invade my lungs, let it all finally end.

Instead, I kept swimming. He never faltered, and for some reason, that gave me strength. We kept swimming together, well past my natural limits. We survived, but barely.

Now there’s something desperate in him, something that needs to affirm what we have.

We have life. He turns me over, sliding his fingers out, hands in my hair. He kisses me, our tongues sliding against each other. I can taste salt still on his lips. I groan as his hands find my hips, my breasts, my clit. I writhe under his touch until he teases my slit with his cock.

“Not much further,” he whispers to me. “Not much further at all.”

“I’m not sure I can keep going,” I admit to him.

He grabs my hair, holds it tight. “You’ll keep doing, because I won’t let you stop. You’re mine now, Kaylee.”

Without another word, he plunges his cock deep between my legs. I gasp at the pleasure and the pain mingling together. I moan, legs in the air as he slowly fucks me, pushing me back down flat against the comforter, pinning my arms up above my head. He’s so strong, even after everything we went through tonight.

His kiss tastes like magic and the pleasure blooming through my skin gives me exactly what I needed. It reminds me that I’m alive, that I want to keep being alive. I turn my head away from the safe, away from the drugs, and I look into his eyes. He’s so handsome, so intense, so beautiful and strong and incredible. I wonder what I would’ve been like if I had met him before heroin took over everything, but I guess it doesn’t matter. He’s here now, fucking me deep and rough, his hands holding me tight, his lips against mine.

I groan and roll my hips, taking him deep. He’s so thick and long, it’s like he’s tearing me apart. The pain only reminds me more about being alive, how the pain makes the pleasure just a little bit sweeter, how without pain everything would just be dull. His hands tighten around my wrists and I gasp as he bites a nipple, teasing my breast, pushing me further and further.

His hips move faster and I move with him. It’s a frenzy, a fucked-up frenzy of desire and need. We both almost died and I think that’s fueling what we have right now, fueling this intense need to feel something, anything. I bite his shoulder and he grunts before squeezing my breasts hard and fucking me harder. He rocks into me, ripping into my tight pussy, making me cry out his name.

He pulls back and grabs my hips, pulling me on top. I straddle him and push back, letting his cock slide easily inside. He pulls my hair as I start to move along his shaft, riding his big dick. He groans and pulls me down to kiss me as he thrusts his hips up. I moan into his kiss as he fucks me, and I start to move my hips faster.

Pleasure and pain, but all life. I groan as he pulls my hair again and grabs my hips, my ass, my breasts. “Every second out in the water, I was thinking of this,” he whispers. “Your body, how you feel when I’m inside you. Fuck, Kaylee, I think about it all the time.”

“I think about you fucking me all day,” I whisper back. “All fucking day. God damn, Julian. I want to be alive with you.”

“I need to be alive with you.” He pulls my hair, looking me in the eyes. “I need it, Kaylee.”

I buck my hips back faster, riding him harder. I take him deep, every single inch of him inside my tight pussy, pleasure rolling down every inch of my body. I’m on fire with it, passion burning away the fear and the sadness and the terror of that swim. Passion burns it all away, a cleansing fire that rolls along my cunt as he fucks me harder, rougher, deeper.

I know I’m close. I can feel the orgasm bleeding out of every pore. His eyes are liquid lightning as he stares up at me, our groans mingling together, both of us sweating and moving and grinding. I bite down on his shoulder again as he spanks my ass nice and hard. I’ll have bruises tomorrow, but I want bruises. I want to feel this as long as possible.

He spanks me again and I push back. I know I’m close, and he can feel it too. He pulls my hair back and sits up as I work my ass, forward and backwards, sliding along his big dick.

“You want to come for me?” he whispers in my ear. “You want to come with me inside of you?”

“Please,” I moan. “I need it.”

“Let it go, Kaylee. Let everything go.”

I moan his name, deep and low, and I do exactly what he says. My orgasm passes through my body and I don’t stop riding. I keep going, faster and faster, taking his big dick deep inside. He groans and I’m barely aware of him coming inside of me, barely aware of his thick spurts filling my pussy. We come together, bodies intertwined, and it slowly, agonizingly, amazingly slowly, comes to an end.

I fall onto the bed, our limbs still tangled, panting softly. He kisses my neck, my breasts, his hands all over my skin. He curls against me, pulling me closer.

“Soon,” he says softly. “We’ll be free.”

“Yeah,” I say, nodding and nuzzling closer. I know it’s not likely.

But for some reason, I believe him.